Erika Shupe Miscarriage

[Koala]

If I didn't know better, I'd say they were a couple. :brain-bleach:

I agree with the people who have said that Erika is pretty obsessed with her weight and keeping her older daughters thin. Does anyone else find it odd that her husband Bob is overweight? It's pretty normal middle-aged man weight, but Erika is so weird about food...

Based on what Erica has blogged, the liquid breakfast and the salad lunch is put aside while Bob is home on the weekend.

[IronicallyMaeve]

Based on what Erica has blogged, the liquid breakfast and the salad lunch is put aside while Bob is home on the weekend.

That is seriously messed up. :cry:

[Maggie Mae]

Bob's only home on the weekend? What is he doing the rest of the time?

[Ave Maria]

Bob's only home on the weekend? What is he doing the rest of the time?

I think she means home during the day -- as in, he is only home for lunch on the weekends. 8-)

[Eternalbluepearl]

Hand holding pic is weird. I also wonder why Bob is overweight. Also, why does erika look just so freaking excited in every photo? Her expressions are over the top for this introvert. Life with that many people can't be that much fun. a shit zu they have to hold over the sink and wash his butt from going to the bathroom? I thank God I don't have pets, no offense to shit zu lovers. Yuck.

[formergothardite]

Sorry to come back to this, but I'm pregnant and hormonal and just FURIOUS that the Shupes, who don't seem to enjoy the kids they have, are having another baby to torment into compliance. My parenting style verges towards attachment parenting for the first 18 months or so (cosleeping, baby wearing, nursing on demand, baby led weaning) and while I absolutely acknowledge that other methods work well for other families I can't wrap my head or my heart around leaving a fucking NEWBORN to cry it out, all in aid of fitting into the holy family schedule as soon as possible.

I've been avoiding this thread because it actually makes me sick to think about what this woman will do to a newborn. She is evil. How can a person have a soul and treat children the way she treats hers?

[mango_fandango]

I've been avoiding this thread because it actually makes me sick to think about what this woman will do to a newborn. She is evil. How can a person have a soul and treat children the way she treats hers?

Because God told her that Babywise is the BEST way! DUH! :shifty-kitty: :angry-banghead:

[slickcat79]

If I didn't know better, I'd say they were a couple. :brain-bleach:

I agree with the people who have said that Erika is pretty obsessed with her weight and keeping her older daughters thin. Does anyone else find it odd that her husband Bob is overweight? It's pretty normal middle-aged man weight, but Erika is so weird about food...

Bob is the HEADSHIP. She's obviously not allowed to tell him what he can and can't eat. Besides, only women need to maintain their good looks, otherwise they are just asking for their men to cheat on them and leave.

Seriously though, Bob seems incredibly disengaged from daily family life. I bet he is thrilled to get out of the house and let Erika run everything.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Erika says in her blog that she takes one of the girls with her shopping once a week and that while they're out for 4 to 5 hours, they might share a soft pretzel or sandwich. Oh wow mom, thanks. 5 hours of shopping for the family and I can split a snack with you. Don't offer a meal or anything... WHY have so many?! Just a couple of kids and they could eat! :doh: If I was one of those 2 teen girls I'd be plotting my escape for sure. Sucking up to a relative who doesn't run a home jail in hopes I could move in with them.

[defraudingjezebel]

:pink-shock: Just seen it (the picture). It is VERY weird. I do think it's odd that Bob is overweight. I don't like body snarking, although as you say it is pretty normal man weight. It just seems a bit odd, especially when he appears to eat the same things as the rest of the family.

My idea is that since Bob works out of the home, he is able to eat what he chooses for lunch on the weekdays. Erika has stated that Bob eats the salads at work but that doesn't mean he necessarily limits himself to that alone. I have no idea what exactly he eats for lunch, but even a few items off of the dollar menu at a fast food place would be enough to put on some decent weight. Again, we have no way of knowing but I am sure that he probably eats more than Erika and her older girls.

[Maggie Mae]

I think she means home during the day -- as in, he is only home for lunch on the weekends. 8-)

Ah I wasn't sure if he had some sort of job where he worked out of town for a week at a time and his company fed him. Weight gain is actually a huge problem for oil workers in my state. They work for two weeks and then come home for two (or three or whatever their contract is - depends on the job and their experience and the safety regulations put in for that position). While they are working, they sleep in what amounts to a college dorm, and they eat in a cafeteria, but the food is really not bad, and there is always stuff available. There are also gyms. Beautiful empty workout facilities.

[Maggie Mae]

Erika says in her blog that she takes one of the girls with her shopping once a week and that while they're out for 4 to 5 hours, they might share a soft pretzel or sandwich. Oh wow mom, thanks. 5 hours of shopping for the family and I can split a snack with you. Don't offer a meal or anything... WHY have so many?! Just a couple of kids and they could eat! :doh: If I was one of those 2 teen girls I'd be plotting my escape for sure. Sucking up to a relative who doesn't run a home jail in hopes I could move in with them.

A sandwich could be a meal. And a soft pretzel from Annies is 350 calories, last I checked. This is one of the few things about Erica I DON'T have a problem with. Overeating is OUT OF CONTROL in our society. There is NO reason that someone needs to get a full meal before they go home and make food for the rest of the family. A snack should be sufficient. Erica also doesn't look tall, so she doesn't need that much to eat.

What I don't understand is why they would go out to get take out only for Bob. Why not safe the money they spend on subpar takeout for him and have everyone go out together once a year or something?

[Eternalbluepearl]

If I was out running errands for 5 hours, a meal time would fall in there. I'd need lunch. What do I know? I probably overeat. :shrug: Can't get by on the shared pretzel.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

A sandwich could be a meal. And a soft pretzel from Annies is 350 calories, last I checked. This is one of the few things about Erica I DON'T have a problem with. Overeating is OUT OF CONTROL in our society. There is NO reason that someone needs to get a full meal before they go home and make food for the rest of the family. A snack should be sufficient. Erica also doesn't look tall, so she doesn't need that much to eat.

What I don't understand is why they would go out to get take out only for Bob. Why not safe the money they spend on subpar takeout for him and have everyone go out together once a year or something?

There is such a fine line between controlling your intake and starving yourself and it is easy to cross over. If I took a teenage daughter out for a 5 hour shopping trip and she announced that she didn't want to stop and eat, that she just wanted a salad at home, I would be fine with that as long as I was confident she had no eating disorders. If my daughter was overweight and wanted to eat a bunch of snacky food I would not allow her to buy crap. However if I, because I was on a diet and was watching my middle-age spread, wanted to forgo lunch out but had a slim daughter in tow I would certainly stop for a light lunch, 5 hours is a long fasting time for a child.

The fact that Erica eats full meals with her husband in front of the kids while they get protein bars signals this woman has issues about food. I don't think giving your kids protein bars to replace a meal is ever acceptable. That's a lot of chemicals and processed food and there are much better alternatives out there. One major problem with protein bars is that they are eaten in a couple of bites-- how can that replace a meal? Food needs to be savored and enjoyed so that the fact of eating registers with your brain and you feel satisfied.

Don't get me wrong-- I'm not against eating a protein bar myself if I am pressed for time and just need a quick, high protein, low carb bite on my way out the door but I am a grown woman and that's my choice to make. When it comes to my child (grown now, but I'm talking about when she was young) I tried to make sure every meal was nutritious, delicious, and met her requirements. But then since I only had the one child she got all my attention and energy. These big families seem to give their broods short shrift.

[Coco]

Mom used to pack us crackers or pb & j's with water. i'd get migraines from not eating on those trips. Her shopping trips were once a month, to Sam's, fabric store, etc. All day though.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Mom used to pack us crackers or pb & j's with water. i'd get migraines from not eating on those trips. Her shopping trips were once a month, to Sam's, fabric store, etc. All day though.

Yikes! I don't ever remember going out all day for weekend errands and not having lunch at a restaurant as part of the outing. I don't think we over ate, it was just, y'know, lunch time. We didn't then go home and make a lunch though. We had already eaten.

[lawlifelgbt]

This debate over going out for lunch vs. snacking bothers me.

When I lived at home, whenever we would go have lunch or dinner out, even for a holiday or with relatives or another family (so it wasn't my/our choice to go), my mother would then refuse to prepare the next meal (e.g. go out for lunch, have to eat only cereal for dinner, go out for dinner, eat cereal the next dinner), regardless of whether or not we had leftovers from the meal out or not. And I get that portions can be big, but this was regardless of where or what we ate. And it always felt like we were being punished for eating "bad" food once. Always bothered me.

[MamaJunebug]

The fact that Erica eats full meals with her husband in front of the kids while they get protein bars ...

That. Is. Fucking. Cruelty.

[Eternalbluepearl]

This debate over going out for lunch vs. snacking bothers me.

When I lived at home, whenever we would go have lunch or dinner out, even for a holiday or with relatives or another family (so it wasn't my/our choice to go), my mother would then refuse to prepare the next meal (e.g. go out for lunch, have to eat only cereal for dinner, go out for dinner, eat cereal the next dinner), regardless of whether or not we had leftovers from the meal out or not. And I get that portions can be big, but this was regardless of where or what we ate. And it always felt like we were being punished for eating "bad" food once. Always bothered me.

Sorry your mom was like that. *hugs* This thread has opened my eyes to food issues that people have dealt with in childhood. I'm sorry if I upset you, I won't continue the debate. Erika is looney tunes. The end.

[Coco]

She really is. It's triggering for a lot of us. I weep inside for what her kids are going to go through when they're free.

[anjulibai]

So, what is her reasoning behind making the kids eat protein bars while she and her husband have a meal? Is it just the oldest girls or all of the children?

[Maggie Mae]

There is such a fine line between controlling your intake and starving yourself and it is easy to cross over. If I took a teenage daughter out for a 5 hour shopping trip and she announced that she didn't want to stop and eat, that she just wanted a salad at home, I would be fine with that as long as I was confident she had no eating disorders. If my daughter was overweight and wanted to eat a bunch of snacky food I would not allow her to buy crap. However if I, because I was on a diet and was watching my middle-age spread, wanted to forgo lunch out but had a slim daughter in tow I would certainly stop for a light lunch, 5 hours is a long fasting time for a child.

The fact that Erica eats full meals with her husband in front of the kids while they get protein bars signals this woman has issues about food. I don't think giving your kids protein bars to replace a meal is ever acceptable. That's a lot of chemicals and processed food and there are much better alternatives out there. One major problem with protein bars is that they are eaten in a couple of bites-- how can that replace a meal? Food needs to be savored and enjoyed so that the fact of eating registers with your brain and you feel satisfied.

Don't get me wrong-- I'm not against eating a protein bar myself if I am pressed for time and just need a quick, high protein, low carb bite on my way out the door but I am a grown woman and that's my choice to make. When it comes to my child (grown now, but I'm talking about when she was young) I tried to make sure every meal was nutritious, delicious, and met her requirements. But then since I only had the one child she got all my attention and energy. These big families seem to give their broods short shrift.

I don't doubt that Erica's control issues extend to food. However, I looked up the post about eating the Olive Garden while the kids got protein bars. It sounded to me like BOB got Olive Garden while the kids got a treat (protein bars, which they like, are expensive, and don't get very often), and everyone got popcorn and fruit. Erica never actually said that she eats the Olive Garden, that everyone doesn't get something (breadsticks, salad, whatever) from the OG. IMO, of course. And personally, even as a child, I was completely grossed out by the Olive Garden. Although I guess it could also read like her and bob sit in the kitchen and eat OG while all the kids watch a movie and snack on stuff all night. Which, TBH, doesn't sound THAT bad to me for a once a year thing. Especially if everyone gets really excited about popcorn and fruit (which, I admit, based on my location, I'm used to TONS of excitement about fresh fruit) and protein bars. (I can also see one of her kids finding out years later that the "candy bars" she/he loved as a child were actually Power Bars.)

And as for not eating for 5 hours as a teen - is that not normal? My high school had my first class at 7 and lunch was at 12:30, and I probably ate "breakfast" at 5:30 or 6. We weren't allowed to snack or anything, so five hours doesn't seem very long to not eat. And going way back to jr high, I think I ate breakfast at 6, got on the bus at 7:30, school started at 8, lunch was at 11:30.

It wouldn't make sense for me to eat lunch out and then go home and make lunch for the rest of the family after shopping; nor does it make sense for me to get the teens expecting to always get mall food everytime they go out on Saturdays. Financially it's irresponsible to pay the markup on lunch for two people when it would be pennies to eat at home; health-wise it's just a bad habit to train yourself to want a snack or a meal for running errands. IMO, of course.

I still feel horrible for her kids. Just not for the lack of Olive Garden in their lives.

[IronicallyMaeve]

I struggle to go more than 5-6 hours without eating. I usually eat around 8 am and I'm starving by noon. I do tend to eat small meals, though. I'm pretty slim but I'm still young. If I don't eat, I feel sick and lightheaded.

[mango_fandango]

I don't doubt that Erica's control issues extend to food. However, I looked up the post about eating the Olive Garden while the kids got protein bars. It sounded to me like BOB got Olive Garden while the kids got a treat (protein bars, which they like, are expensive, and don't get very often), and everyone got popcorn and fruit. Erica never actually said that she eats the Olive Garden, that everyone doesn't get something (breadsticks, salad, whatever) from the OG. IMO, of course. And personally, even as a child, I was completely grossed out by the Olive Garden. Although I guess it could also read like her and bob sit in the kitchen and eat OG while all the kids watch a movie and snack on stuff all night. Which, TBH, doesn't sound THAT bad to me for a once a year thing. Especially if everyone gets really excited about popcorn and fruit (which, I admit, based on my location, I'm used to TONS of excitement about fresh fruit) and protein bars. (I can also see one of her kids finding out years later that the "candy bars" she/he loved as a child were actually Power Bars.)

And as for not eating for 5 hours as a teen - is that not normal? My high school had my first class at 7 and lunch was at 12:30, and I probably ate "breakfast" at 5:30 or 6. We weren't allowed to snack or anything, so five hours doesn't seem very long to not eat. And going way back to jr high, I think I ate breakfast at 6, got on the bus at 7:30, school started at 8, lunch was at 11:30.

It wouldn't make sense for me to eat lunch out and then go home and make lunch for the rest of the family after shopping; nor does it make sense for me to get the teens expecting to always get mall food everytime they go out on Saturdays. Financially it's irresponsible to pay the markup on lunch for two people when it would be pennies to eat at home; health-wise it's just a bad habit to train yourself to want a snack or a meal for running errands. IMO, of course.

I still feel horrible for her kids. Just not for the lack of Olive Garden in their lives.

About the protein bars: Erika said somewhere that they are Zone bars, which are full of actual protein and not just laden with sugar. Also, this is what the post about Olive Garden says:

"Once in a while Bob and I have a home dinner date where he brings home food to-go from Olive Garden and he and I sit at the kitchen table together and talk while the children get to eat protein bars (a rare treat for them) and popcorn and fruit and watch a movie." The 'home dinner date' bit implies she DOES eat the Olive Garden, while the kids "get" to eat protein bars, popcorn and fruit. Not sure how often it happens. Also, the post is quite old, and we now know about the whole older-girls-babysitting-for-shitty-rewards thing, so I don't know if this Olive Garden thing is going to continue or not. Also, it sounds like the reward system is fairly new- in the post she says she's been implementing it for about a month.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Breaking away from the food talk, I just read the blog entry about Halloween. In it, she says she once had a friend get into the "dangerous" game of Dungeons and Dragons. Come ON! *eyeroll*