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Duggar House Rules


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roddma

How many Duggar house rules could you follow? Long before the Duggars I try to be kind even if I dont feel well.

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grandmadugger

On the surface I could probably deal with most of the rules. They really aren't that far fetched or bad. It's the level that the Duggars take them to that makes them horrible. Plus I can't adore my headship all the time. Sometimes he says stupid shit and I have to call him out on that.

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flyingxchanges

Hahahahaha. Anything as far as obeying headship is out the window. Smiling all the time? Out. I'm good at buying things on sale, does that count? I live in yoga pants and shorts. I'd die having to wear long dresses. Birth control is my best friend. So basically I'd fail. Also the fact that I think for myself and don't stare lovingly at my husband whenever I talk. Usually my face looks like this :roll: when he talks :mrgreen:

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RosyDaisy

None. If anything I would go out of my way to break them all just to piss them off.

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DefrauderDaughter

I wear yoga pants instead of long jean skirts, have been on birth control since I was sixteen, curse like a sailor, have "sweet fellowship" with a boy I'm not married to on a regular basis, call him out on his shit instead of submitting to him, have been to Planned Parenthood, am friends with gays, and always voice my opinions. They would just love me, right? :roll:

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BrownieMomma

I can sorta give Michelle credit on one parenting thing which I had to learn to do and that is to control your voice. I don't like her babyish voice but I did learn, over the years, that speaking calmly and at the right level went a lot farther than shrieking like a banshee.

I can also *sorta* be on board with the concept of jurisdictions, as I do think every person in the house should help clean and maintain, and young children can start with age appropriate tasks. Don't care for the jurisdictions program.

That's all I got atm.

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roddma

I think most parents wouldn't want their kids to hit one another. I just wonder how many are actually still followed.

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I thought this was going to be about the old rules;

Never raise a hand to hit

Never raise a foot to kick

Never raise and object to throw

How many of those rules were there? The kids struggled to remember them all. The teacher in me wanted to take Michelle aside and say you have as few rules as possible, you keep them as simple as possible and you try to make them positive. So "Never raise your voice to yell" becomes "Always speak nicely to others"..

Edit to add: I agreed with Michelle's rules. Just not how they were presented.

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scozzle

I'd actually be happy to follow quite a few of the rules of the Duggar house IF could chose to follow them on my own accord. I'm quite conservative by most people's standards, though I do think that the Duggar's take many elements of conservatism to an extreme beyond which I can ever see myself engaging. My issue instead is with the fact that the kids have absolutely no choice but to follow those rules while they live at home. I'm twenty, I still live at home with strict religious parents, and I can say that there is nothing more damaging to a young person's willingness to live a certain lifestyle that obligation to certain inflexible rules.

So for me the way they live is not a problem, I just wouldn't want to be bound by it.

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BrownieMomma
I thought this was going to be about the old rules;

Never raise a hand to hit

Never raise a foot to kick

Never raise and object to throw

How many of those rules were there? The kids struggled to remember them all. The teacher in me wanted to take Michelle aside and say you have as few rules as possible, you keep them as simple as possible and you try to make them positive. So "Never raise your voice to yell" becomes "Always speak nicely to others"..

Edit to add: I agreed with Michelle's rules. Just not how they were presented.

This was another valuable tool I learned from positive parenting - to say what to do instead of saying what not to do. Exactly that one too "no yelling in the house" became "use inside voice."

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BlackSheep
I'd actually be happy to follow quite a few of the rules of the Duggar house IF could chose to follow them on my own accord. I'm quite conservative by most people's standards, though I do think that the Duggar's take many elements of conservatism to an extreme beyond which I can ever see myself engaging. My issue instead is with the fact that the kids have absolutely no choice but to follow those rules while they live at home. I'm twenty, I still live at home with strict religious parents, and I can say that there is nothing more damaging to a young person's willingness to live a certain lifestyle that obligation to certain inflexible rules.

So for me the way they live is not a problem, I just wouldn't want to be bound by it.

The "my roof, my rules" approach makes sense in most households. But the Duggars, some of their rules go too far and their rules aren't up for discussion.

What's worse is that the kidults have no choice except to stay under the roof. Even if one of them had the money, some marketable skills, and the courage to set off... and didn't care about damaging the Duggar brand... rejecting their headship adults means violating their faith. Risking damnation. It's really sad.

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SayWhat

If I was a Duggar Daughter I would have problems with the House Rules about being a sister mom, raising my parents children while my parents procreate more children for me to raise.

If I was a Duggar Daughter or Son I would have problems with the rules regarding education and career choices open to me.

I have no problems with kids having chores around the house to develop life skills. Everyone should know how to do laundry, run the lawn mower, basic cooking & cleaning skills.

I have problems with the degree of servitude that is expected from the Dugger children and from Gramma Mary.

The rules exist to serve Boob & J'chelle.

*edited for grammar

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mpheels

So many of the Duggar rules make sense on the surface - that's actually a large part of what first drew me to watch the specials on TLC. But, in practice, the rules are oppressive and unfair.

Children absolutely should participate in daily upkeep of the house with age appropriate chores - cleaning their own room and bathroom, helping to clean common/shared spaces, cooking, laundry, yard work... All fair game, but not the sole responsibility of the kids. Children are not servants, and having kids does not absolve the parents of the responsibility to do housework. It's infuriating to me that the Duggar kids actually have to clean their parents' bedroom. Or that the girls were every responsible for cleaning the boy's bathroom.

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BlackSheep
So many of the Duggar rules make sense on the surface - that's actually a large part of what first drew me to watch the specials on TLC. But, in practice, the rules are oppressive and unfair.

Children absolutely should participate in daily upkeep of the house with age appropriate chores - cleaning their own room and bathroom, helping to clean common/shared spaces, cooking, laundry, yard work... All fair game, but not the sole responsibility of the kids. Children are not servants, and having kids does not absolve the parents of the responsibility to do housework. It's infuriating to me that the Duggar kids actually have to clean their parents' bedroom. Or that the girls were every responsible for cleaning the boy's bathroom.

:pink-shock:

Did I somehow miss this, or did I block it out?

Eek. These people are beyond belief.

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marmalade

:pink-shock:

Did I somehow miss this, or did I block it out?

Eek. These people are beyond belief.

IIRC, Jessa said in the very first special that she hated cleaning the boy's bathroom. She would have been about 11. Way too young to know about boy pee in such an intimate fashion.

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roddma

I can relate to being young adult and up under parents who are religious. yea their rules, but at 18 onward you should be cut a little slack. My parents expected me go to church even as an young adult at least you might as well say almost made me. I never bothered to say anything and when I did once at 23, it failed. Now I dont go to church at all and know they dont like it. Sorry Im a married adult now and even then should be able to make my own choices..Parent must realize their kids are adults.

I agree kids need chores but they arent your slaves and it should be divide equally among sexes.. You cant make humpers understand though

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Toothfairy

I would pretend to follow them but really do shit behind their back

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lookinggoodforjesus

I am the type of person who takes a LOT of shit and never says a peep but one day out of nowhere will just snap. I feel like that would be me in the Duggar household. I would just kind of go along with everything fine for a while. Then I would start quietly gritting my teeth every time of them spoke to me. And then, one day, I would go ballistic. I can do the whole "smile and be nice to people even when they're being assholes" thing when I'm being paid and it's for eight hours or less, but I could not do it 24/7 without losing it. I would likely stop eating out of extreme stress and start smoking heavily.

The other thing I would have a huge issue with is the fact that you can't go anywhere by yourself. Sometimes I like to go off by myself. I really like having time to myself now and then. I like going to work in the morning by myself. I like grocery shopping alone. I don't like being alone constantly, but I like having time alone. I hate large groups of people and crowds, which is definitely what the Duggar household is like. But they don't let their kids have time alone? Come on now. That's ridiculous.

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ADoyle90815
I am the type of person who takes a LOT of shit and never says a peep but one day out of nowhere will just snap. I feel like that would be me in the Duggar household. I would just kind of go along with everything fine for a while. Then I would start quietly gritting my teeth every time of them spoke to me. And then, one day, I would go ballistic. I can do the whole "smile and be nice to people even when they're being assholes" thing when I'm being paid and it's for eight hours or less, but I could not do it 24/7 without losing it. I would likely stop eating out of extreme stress and start smoking heavily.

The other thing I would have a huge issue with is the fact that you can't go anywhere by yourself. Sometimes I like to go off by myself. I really like having time to myself now and then. I like going to work in the morning by myself. I like grocery shopping alone. I don't like being alone constantly, but I like having time alone. I hate large groups of people and crowds, which is definitely what the Duggar household is like. But they don't let their kids have time alone? Come on now. That's ridiculous.

For me, the biggest issue I would have is that you can't be by yourself at all, as I'm one who occasionally needs time to myself. I'm also the type who prefers to wear pants or shorts most of the time, and the only dresses I have are ones that the Duggars would find defrauding because they're sun dresses that show off my shoulders.

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BlackSheep

I need time alone sometimes. No talking, no interruptions, just me. If I were a Duggar I'd be finding it any way that I could. Bathroom, prayer closet, whatever it took.

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Hooligan

I could never ever follow their clothing rules. I get hot so shorts in the summer and (since I own a home based internet business) my winter business attire is usually flannel jammies or yoga pants. No way I could gaze lovingly at my "headship" every time he speaks because as someone else said earlier he says some stupid shit sometimes and I have to call him on it. I make the VAST majority of financial decisions in our home because quite frankly I am better at it. I am also an education loving, college educated, outspoken, mouthy liberal feminist and love, adore and accept our trans daughter without shunning or question or rejection. (as does the ole headship) We have a wet bar and are known to sip a nice glass of wine or a cool refreshing adult beverage from time to time. I am a gourmet cook and cannot fathom tatter tot casserole or potato chip topped anything. I do love me a bargain so I might fit in there, but that's about it.

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Eleemosynary

I swear a lot. Oftentimes it happens without my even thinking about it. So based on that alone, I doubt I'd last even a day.

I'd have issues with other rules too, such as clothing, submissiveness, lack of privacy, no dancing/secular music, and being a slave to horrible parents.

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marieantoinette

I wouldn't be able to follow the rules, at all! Especially when I was a teenager! I thought I was princess who didn't need to do chores or obey the rules! I dressed in expensive not so modest clothes, loved boys and the thrill of sneaking away and making out with one in the garage. I dabbled in drugs too, so yeah, definitely Journey to the Heart material!

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CorruptionInc.
I wouldn't be able to follow the rules, at all! Especially when I was a teenager! I thought I was princess who didn't need to do chores or obey the rules! I dressed in expensive not so modest clothes, loved boys and the thrill of sneaking away and making out with one in the garage. I dabbled in drugs too, so yeah, definitely Journey to the Heart material!

I was an interesting teenager as well.

It's a long story that multiple cups of tea are needed for. 8-)

Funny now I don't drink, don't smoke and actively believe in the legalisation of marijuana (which I also do not smoke).

Life has funny way of operating. :)

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