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J&A take the M'kids on their dates?


Miggy

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I've just read a post on Lily & Ellie's site with Anna talking about date night. Apparently baby sitters are expensive in D.C. (Who would have guessed that when you pay someone rather than use family, things get expensive.) so they sometimes have dates at home after the kids are in bed and other times take the kids with them.

 

My question is: Is it a date if you take your kids?

 

We use to eat out once a fortnight with our kids. It was a treat for us and them and a chance to put into practice what they learned at home in the way of manners, conversation, etc. I would never call it a date though. I'm all for having a romantic meal together at home after the kids are in bed and calling it a date. Eating out with the kids? That's a family dinner to me.

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We went on dates with Girl 1 when she was a baby. We were living downtown with no readily available babysitters. She slept through most dinners when she was a baby and learned to sit nicely with adults as she got older.

It did get harder when we got to 3 kids under 5. Thankfully they are now old enough that going out to eat is enjoyable again.

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Couple is alone = date

Couple is not alone != date

Yes, this means I don't count fundie chaperoned outings as dates. That said, I also tend to think of dates as something you do when you're not in a relationship, ie you go on a date to get to know a prospective partner, but Mr Alba and I just go "for dinner". I think that's probably just me, though.

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Not having a free babysitter for a group of small kids in order to enjoy adult meals out must be tough. Welcome to the real world, Josh and Anna.

In terms of overall health, I think all of the Duggars could use fewer date nights, as they all seem to involve eating in restaurants. Other than sex, do these couples have any other shared interests?

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I like it kids are kind of like birth control, dealing with them can ruin the mood or zap energy that would have been used to fool around. Also if this is true it could men they aren't reliant on J'slave labor like we think.

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Honestly, I don't know why it's worth attacking them for not having built in babysitters. Most of the families I know with family members nearby use their family members for free or extremely cheap (like $10 a night) babysitters or even nannies. It's hardly uncommon.

To answer the question, I don't think it really matters what our definition of a date is. If Josh and Anna feel they had a date, they had a date.

But, if the kids are asleep, then what's really the difference between a date "at home with the kids" and a "date at home without kids"? I've gone on plenty of home based dates in my life. I don't count them any less than "going out" dates.

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Not having a free babysitter for a group of small kids in order to enjoy adult meals out must be tough. Welcome to the real world, Josh and Anna.

In terms of overall health, I think all of the Duggars could use fewer date nights, as they all seem to involve eating in restaurants. Other than sex, do these couples have any other shared interests?

1. Being on a reality show

2. Judging others

3. Following Gothard

4. Lobbying to limit the rights of others

Just a few that come to mind.

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I thought this was going to be about them taking their kids out on "dates", like Josh taking Mackynzie out to dinner and it's just them. Thankfully, it was this instead of the other, because it would have pained me to think something they did was cool.

People think I'm weird because I take my sons out on "dates" once a month (each kid gets their own "date"), but it's so ding-dang fun, to hang out with my kids, just me and whichever one I'm with.

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Despite my snarky post upthread, I know that what's really important is time together. Just the couple, or with the kids. At a restaurant alone or together. Even a couples dinner after the kids go to bed (which is a sweet idea).

As for babysitters being expensive... without close family members nearby, they surely have to be very careful about choosing a babysitter. Whether a fan or a foe, things could get creepy or dangerous very fast. "Celebrities" :roll: like them might need to use professional services - ie, expensive. A more affordable option is a trusted family friend who shares or respects their beliefs.

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Despite my snarky post upthread, I know that what's really important is time together. Just the couple, or with the kids. At a restaurant alone or together. Even a couples dinner after the kids go to bed (which is a sweet idea).

As for babysitters being expensive... without close family members nearby, they surely have to be very careful about choosing a babysitter. Whether a fan or a foe, things could get creepy or dangerous very fast. "Celebrities" :roll: like them might need to use professional services - ie, expensive. A more affordable option is a trusted family friend who shares or respects their beliefs.

That's a good point about finding babysitters as public figures; they'll have to be more careful than most parents about hiring the teenager who lives down the road (if a teenager could even look after three kids the ages of the M'kids).

I can actually see how going out as a family would be beneficial to them as a couple, because they can sit and talk instead of (Anna) rushing about cooking and cleaning. I still wouldn't call it a date though.

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That's a good point about finding babysitters as public figures; they'll have to be more careful than most parents about hiring the teenager who lives down the road (if a teenager could even look after three kids the ages of the M'kids).

I can actually see how going out as a family would be beneficial to them as a couple, because they can sit and talk instead of (Anna) rushing about cooking and cleaning. I still wouldn't call it a date though.

I would be scared if I were a famous Duggar that some crazy would kidnap the kid or steal family photos in the house for ebay lolll.

I wonder if some fundies reject the concept of babysitters completely because then their kid would be potentially exposed to Nike things. As we have seen fundie families all have their own slightly varied definition of Nike, so can even a fundie family be a good choice to babysit your kid??

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No-kid dates were a pain in the neck until my kids got a bit older. It meant arranging babysitting, and if it wasn't a grandparent, getting the kids comfortable and making sure the sitter knew what to do was a real effort. My babies also refused to take a bottle, so going out before they were weaned often involved panicked called from my MIL hysterically telling us that the baby was about to starve.

To me, date = time with spouse where we are in the same place and not madly rushing off somewhere or dealing with work calls/emails. Having dinner and a movie at home, or going out (no cooking!) with the kids and doing something fun can serve that purpose.

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I thought this was going to be about them taking their kids out on "dates", like Josh taking Mackynzie out to dinner and it's just them. Thankfully, it was this instead of the other, because it would have pained me to think something they did was cool.

People think I'm weird because I take my sons out on "dates" once a month (each kid gets their own "date"), but it's so ding-dang fun, to hang out with my kids, just me and whichever one I'm with.

I think that's a wonderful thing to do. My mom and step-dad met at a ballroom dance class, and I started taking ballroom lessons a few years after that. My step-dad and I used to Foxtrot around the living room, and the church-sponsored daddy-daughter dance was always a treat, even when I was in high school. We also had occasional doughnut dates.

My mom and I usually had our quality one-on-one time on Friday afternoons. We would do the big weekly grocery shop, then go get ice cream. We started that routine when I was in 4th grade, and kept it up through high school.

Sadly, I don't think Josh and Anna do this. They do seem like they are engaged parents, more so than Michelle and Jim Bob, but I can't seem them deliberately splitting the brood for designated one-on-one time. They probably do at least get some one-on-one time if one has to run an errand and can take one kid, while the other watches the other kids.

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Take the kids to dinner and call it a date if you want...

...but when they're older and you want to show them what they'll get when they're married... don't.

JB and The Uterus kissing dramatically and practically groping (by their standards) each other in front of their kids... :ew:

That's not modest. Or humble. Or tasteful.

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Kids on your date night doesn't make it a date night it makes it a family event. I had to laugh when I read OP's response about how expensive it is for babysitter because we are talking about people who are cheap to begin with; however, they do own two homes now and an RV with a 4th kid on the way maybe that is what should've been promoted.

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Kids on your date night doesn't make it a date night it makes it a family event. I had to laugh when I read OP's response about how expensive it is for babysitter because we are talking about people who are cheap to begin with; however, they do own two homes now and an RV with a 4th kid on the way maybe that is what should've been promoted.

Childcare is probably around $25/hr where they're living. They'd have the best luck switching off childcare with a similarly-minded couple.

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