Sarah Maxwell

[Justme]

Sarah is unmarried at 33. Her Father has convinced her that it is God's will. If he wanted her married, she would be. (She has said so a few times in blogs.) As her now adult sisters age and remain unmarried, do you think her "shell" will start to crack? Anna is 22 (or 23) and Mary 18.5. In the "real world", they'd be in collage and/or starting careers. In "their world", Anna is in the prime of being married. As the years go by and they don't marry, is she still going to buy Steve's bullcrap???? Will she start to think it is strange God doesn't want any of them married while providing wives and children for her reversal brothers????

[mirele]

Sarah is unmarried at 33. Her Father has convinced her that it is God's will. If he wanted her married, she would be. (She has said so a few times in blogs.) As her now adult sisters age and remain unmarried, do you think her "shell" will start to crack? Anna is 22 (or 23) and Mary 18.5. In the "real world", they'd be in collage and/or starting careers. In "their world", Anna is in the prime of being married. As the years go by and they don't marry, is she still going to buy Steve's bullcrap???? Will she start to think it is strange God doesn't want any of them married while providing wives and children for her reversal brothers????

I, for one, will tell Stevehovah bluntly that even by the standards of homeschooling families, he has absolutely, completely and utterly FAILED. In his world, it's his job to find spouses for his daughters and he has completely failed his daughters. Why should anyone ever believe him and Teri again? Why should churches bring him and Teri and the family to talk about their perfect lifestyle, when the sons are kept so close as to not be out from under his shadow and the daughters are being suffocated in their parents' loving embrace?

Steve, you failed. You failed your daughters. Fail!

[Eternalbluepearl]

I somehow can picture Steve whipping up a marriage for one of the girls with someone out of nowhere like what happened with Elisa and what's his name Maxwell. I watched some videos that the Maxwells had on their blog recently of themselves describing their books. Sarah comes off very sweet and pretty and totally fundie marriage material. It's not too late! Someone court Sarah!

[Miggy]

Could it be that Sarah doesn't want to marry?

She could be so brainwashed that she is scared to leave her family. She has been taught her Dad and brothers are perfect. Maybe Steve approves men but no one Sarah has met appears to be nearly as good as she believes her brothers are. Of course, if this is right, it would still be Steve's fault for his teachings in the first place.

[anjulibai]

I, for one, will tell Stevehovah bluntly that even by the standards of homeschooling families, he has absolutely, completely and utterly FAILED. In his world, it's his job to find spouses for his daughters and he has completely failed his daughters. Why should anyone ever believe him and Teri again? ?Why should churches bring him and Teri and the family to talk about their perfect lifestyle, when the sons are kept so close as to not be out from under his shadow and the daughters are being suffocated in their parents' loving embrace?

Steve, you failed. You failed your daughters. Fail!

I think they are pretty much done with the talks. There's nothing scheduled for this year.

But yeah, Steve has failed. None of those girls are leaving. No one stops being a Maxwell. You can only become a Maxwell by marrying in or being born in.

[Coconut Flan]

Perhaps the internet and Steve's track record have killed the talks. Those cloistered, unmarried daughters don't help the sales pitch at all.

[Chowder Head]

I really don't think anything is ever going to change untill Steve either dies or some how he becomes severely infirmed. I don't wish anything on him but his grip is strong and I believe this family will away be under his thumb.

[gustava]

Could it be that Sarah doesn't want to marry?

She could be so brainwashed that she is scared to leave her family. She has been taught her Dad and brothers are perfect. Maybe Steve approves men but no one Sarah has met appears to be nearly as good as she believes her brothers are. Of course, if this is right, it would still be Steve's fault for his teachings in the first place.

Sarah ventured into the world before the reversals came along and seems to have been terrified of it. I agree with you that there is a good chance she will never marry. The idea of having physical relations with a male must horrify her.

[Georgiana]

Sarah also watched her mother struggle with untreated depression while having more and more children and caring for a demanding, controlling, and occasionally childish husband.

I'm not sure married life seems that wonderful to her.

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

The saddest thing to me about Sarah isn't really just that she's still unmarried, marriage isn't for everyone despite what fundiedom says... it's that she's a grown woman in her thirties and she's treated like a child. Heck, LF has more independence than Sarah and she's only six.

Even sadder to me is that because she's treated like a child, she often times comes across as a girl in her early teens, which is a shame. (Hope this comes across right, I have the flu and am still fuzzy from the Nyquil I took last night. Medications and I don't always mix well.)

[anjulibai]

Marriage was her stated goal for a very long time, though. They stopped mentioning it around the time she turned 30.

That's also about when her eyes changed. In old photos, she always has a very smug look to her. That's really long gone. There's definitely a sadness behind the eyes and something about her has definitely diminished.

I think she did want to be married and, while the prospect probably frightens her in many ways, she's probably also very sad not to have what she had been told from childhood was her purpose in life.

[socalrules]

At this point, I would think the idea of being alone with a man, let alone having sex with him, would be terrifying. The Maxwells are sheltered far more than most fundies so I would imagine that they cannot even feel comfortable with someone outside of the immediate family. I cannot imagine the fear of having to live under another man's schedule and rules. I could see Sarah still running back to Daddy for permission and approval of every rule her husband set.

[MamaJunebug]

Marriage was her stated goal for a very long time, though. They stopped mentioning it around the time she turned 30.

That's also about when her eyes changed. In old photos, she always has a very smug look to her. That's really long gone. There's definitely a sadness behind the eyes and something about her has definitely diminished.

I think she did want to be married and, while the prospect probably frightens her in many ways, she's probably also very sad not to have what she had been told from childhood was her purpose in life.

I've left off trying to read people's eyes in photographs (I never see what others see), but the body language in the photo of her holding new baby Lydia makes my own eyes tear up. Poor Sarah.

[salex]

Could it be that Sarah doesn't want to marry?

She could be so brainwashed that she is scared to leave her family. She has been taught her Dad and brothers are perfect. Maybe Steve approves men but no one Sarah has met appears to be nearly as good as she believes her brothers are. Of course, if this is right, it would still be Steve's fault for his teachings in the first place.

I have wondered if she has been taught 1 Corinthians, 7:8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.

since she was a kid and has been taught it is better for her to remain unmarried, unless she has no self control.

Surely he'll have to marry of one of the girls, but maybe not. Perhaps they will all remain nuns, part of the Sisters of the Eternal Chorelist.

[Jana814]

I believe that Sarah is brainwashed. Steve has convinced that the outside world is a scary place & because of this I think she is afraid to leave. I'm 34 not married & I still live at home however, I have lots more freedom that Sarah will ever have.

[kpmom]

When Queen Mother posted here, before she was outed as a double agent, she claimed Sarah did have opportunities to court, but turned them down.

She also said Sarah encouraged Christopher to pursue NR-Anna, but was very emotional about him courting.

Take it with a grain of salt, although it did appear that QM really did know the Maxwells.

[CanadianMom]

I think the real issue is that if Sarah, or any of the girls, marry, they will need to be released into the care of another man. This man will be a headship unto himself and this will likely be difficult for Steve or Teri to allow. It is one thing to invite Melanie, Anna or Elyssa in to their family and another thing entirely to allow their daughters to join another family.

[Jana814]

I think the real issue is that if Sarah, or any of the girls, marry, they will need to be released into the care of another man. This man will be a headship unto himself and this will likely be difficult for Steve or Teri to allow. It is one thing to invite Melanie, Anna or Elyssa in to their family and another thing entirely to allow their daughters to join another family.

Agree!! Well said!!

[fundiefan]

She won't see anything wrong with it. If she does ever have feelings about not being married or having a family, she will explain them away and use her (fathers version of) god to appease herself.

There is nothing wrong with not being married in your 30's. There is, however, something hugely wrong with the way she was raised for nothing but marriage/motherhood and has been held back because her father hasn't had someone drop into his lap.

She's screwed. I know comparing is not effective, but I work with a 30 year old girl who works 'for now' and only ever wanted to be a mom. She got married last year and they've been trying ever since. Finally, last week, she had a positive pregnancy test. She hasn't done it yet - they're waiting for a little bit - but she will give her notice and quit for August 1st if things progress healthily. She's beyond excited and happier than I've ever seen her.

She has worked and lived life while waiting/working towards her goals and dreams. She hasn't sat upon her ass being anyone's puppet. She is experiencing her dreams come to fruition and is over the moon.

Sarah will never, ever experience that. She's too programmed. Even if she ever does miraculously get married and have a baby, she will never have even a remote percentage of the joy of my co-worker who worked, lived, experienced and chose her life and is now getting what she's always wanted. Not programmed for, but wanted.

[Alachantal]

Could it be that Sarah doesn't want to marry?

She could be so brainwashed that she is scared to leave her family. She has been taught her Dad and brothers are perfect. Maybe Steve approves men but no one Sarah has met appears to be nearly as good as she believes her brothers are. Of course, if this is right, it would still be Steve's fault for his teachings in the first place.

That's what I was thinking. Either that or she's so infantilized or deep in their cult that the thought of "growing up" and moving two block from her parents of caring for a home and husband is anxiety inducing or out of her comfpet zone? Maybe the transition from SAHD to SAHW would be too much for her at this point? I have no idea, just throwing thoughts to the wind

[twin2]

That's what I was thinking. Either that or she's so infantilized or deep in their cult that the thought of "growing up" and moving two block from her parents of caring for a home and husband is anxiety inducing or out of her comfpet zone? Maybe the transition from SAHD to SAHW would be too much for her at this point? I have no idea, just throwing thoughts to the wind

At this point, unless someone comes along who is willing to live within a 1 mi radius of the home base, I can't see Sarah marrying. I just don't see Sarah having the ability to do what NR-Anna or Elise did, and pack everything up and move to where she will not be able to see her family on an almost daily basis. I suspect of Anna. Maybe Mary, she comes off as more outgoing (as much as one can read into these things on a blog).

[WonderingInWA]

Sarah won't marry. She's been told all her life to keep her thoughts pure, there is no way she'll let a man touch her without feeling dirty. And that's not good for marriage. She will keep writing her dumb children's books and will look after her parents as they age and inherit the house when they die. Nathan or Christopher will become her headship as she herself ages.

The only way I can see Sarah marrying now is if she meets a widower who doesn't want her for anything but companionship and Bible time. I think Stevie would have been very against that thought 10 years ago, but maybe he would consider it now. It would give him the appearance that he's modernizing his ideas and give her the freedom to get the hell out of that house. Give her a little more purpose than writing bad books.

[Grimalkin]

Maybe there is more to Terri's apparent depression than meets the eye, and Steve being obviously wacko..... Perhaps Sarah has a touch of mental health issues herself. An anxiety issue. I have not needed to take meds for anxiety but I know it gets worse when I isolate. I have to start all over again with getting used to talking to others driving in busy areas and leaving my comfort zone. They really seem to have an us against the world mentality.

[Toothfairy]

Sarah is so brainwashed that she probably thinks this what God planned for her. Maybe she doesn't want to get married but why in the world is a 33 yo living at home being treated like a damn servant. I really wished Sarah would have the courage to leave. Just walk out. But Steve put the fear that everything is evil. It's sad she just can't live her own life. I wonder what their fans think. Sarah is an old maid in fundie land. I really can't see Sarah marrying since she's Steve and Teri used and manipulated her. Poor kid must have emotional scars.

I could see Mary getting married. Mary was born into this. Steve has to marry one of his girls off.

[FloraKitty35]

That's what I was thinking. Either that or she's so infantilized or deep in their cult that the thought of "growing up" and moving two block from her parents of caring for a home and husband is anxiety inducing or out of her comfpet zone? Maybe the transition from SAHD to SAHW would be too much for her at this point? I have no idea, just throwing thoughts to the wind

I'll go with that.