Blame vs. sympathy for Duggar kids

[Trynn]

I really do think at least some of those kids would want some privacy if they were going to rebel, and money be damned. Maybe not all, but statistically speaking at least one kid has got to hate being filmed for national television.

[SassyPants]

But, according to your beliefs, they never see the money. So if it were all about the money, wouldn't they go with the media driven fall out that would land them paid interviews and what not?

JB doles it out- Without that allowance, their lives would be much tougher. They'd have to get up (probably before the sun), bust hump all day for likely minimum wage, and find a way to make ends meet. Good by Forever 21, cars, I Phones and Apple computers, This way IS easier, and the path of least resistance.

FWI, I have stated [many, many times] that JB knows each kids' currency and that is how they are compensated. However, I do not believe that each adult is compensated by TLC individually. And to this point, that "POV" has never been verified. Still waiting for that proof from those who claim such-

[trissy]

I'm new to this site. Lurked for a few days then joined. I notice some people call the boys howlers? :lol: Why is that and which ones are considered howlers?

[MatthewDuggar]

I'm new to this site. Lurked for a few days then joined. I notice some people call the boys howlers? :lol: Why is that and which ones are considered howlers?

LOL have you watched the show? All of the young boys under the age of Josiah in my opinion because they run around like wild howler monkeys.

[jarona]

I'm with VelociRapture, whose name I LOVE!! I think ten years is a good test. I've thought back to my leaving home at 18. I was raised as a Roman Catholic, and although I didn't realize it, was fairly sheltered, in that I didn't know many people who weren't RC. Moving into a college dormitory changed a LOT of things about my perceptions of people, and that is an experience no Duggar is really going to have. Even if Joseph goes to live in a dorm, the occupants will all be very similar to him in makeup.

Anyway, it took me a couple years of living away from home full time to fully re-think some of my misconceptions about things, religion, politics. It took more years to sort the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, and to keep what I was going to live by.

So ten years. That's what they get. Better get on the ball, Josh. Clock's tickin'.

I am also of the ten -year test. Like you, I was raised a Catholic and was rather sheltered in my parochial upbringing. However, once I was on my own, and working I discovered the world outside the one I grew up in. And. It was great!!! I learned to work in an office with many diverse personalities and many people from diverse backgrounds. I started to assess the way I was brought up--I did have many great values passed on to me. I also realized there were certain ideologies and other things that I didn't agree with in the way I was brought up. I thought for myself. When I had kids, I raised each one of them to be individuals, their own free-thinkers and above all, to be happy in what they do. I do sympathize with the younger Duggar children. However, I really don't sympathize too much with the older ones, but I do give them the benefit of the ten-years. Hopefully, it will take less than ten years for their eyes to open. It's gonna be tough for them though--they are so used to TLC footing the bill on their lifestyles (as simple as it may seem). They probably have a good deal of narcissistic and entitled facets to their personalities due to the fan base--so I think a come down from all the "glory" bestowed upon them may be a let down. We'll see--right?

[VelociRapture]

One thing I've noticed about FJ over the past few months is this:

People are generally willing to tolerate the kidults until they get married and leave. At that point, they become fair game to a lot of people around here.

What I'm curious to see is how people react when that kidult is someone like Jana, Jinger, Joy, or Josiah. Will they receive the same criticism for talking over others and getting pregnant immediately like Jill? Will people hold it against them if they get a job/marry someone who works for a hate group like Josh? Will they be held accountable should they constantly preach on social media the way Jessa does? Or will these kids be given a pass because they're the favorites around here?

In my opinion, all of these kids hold the same beliefs as their parents. Some may believe less than others and some may be more vocal, but they all hold the same beliefs on abortion, birth control, homosexuality, etc. Will they be expected to adapt the beliefs they were raised with as quickly as their married siblings were?

[calimojo]

Look, These kids don't just magically mature and develop critical thinking skills overnight. So it seems a bit ridiculous to hold them accountable for their twisted beliefs the minute they leave the house.

But that doesn't mean that if they choose to post on social media, that people can't at least attempt to confront some of misguided logic and whacky beliefs. If they put themselves out there, then by all means, they are fair game for respectful disagreement. What I personally hate to see is when people get openly hostile and very nasty to them. We want to help these people see the world in a broader view, and we want to show them that we are not all evil and morally bankrupt, but when we act ugly and vicious towards them all we do is reinforce their belief system. For the kids that might on occasion doubt their upbringing, they could be just forced right back into if they feel that the outside world is unwelcoming. It would be a terrible situation for them to know or at least suspect that their parents are full of shit, and yet at the same time be unable to trust that the outside world will ever welcome or accept them.

I don't post to instagram, but if I did, I would try to a more gentle response, encouraging them to do some reading of moderate/liberal Christian leaders. I would gently try to point out the incorrect logic, etc. No, I don't imagine it would do much good, but is is far less likely to harm then some of the extreme nastiness I have seen posted.

[SassyPants]

One thing I've noticed about FJ over the past few months is this:

People are generally willing to tolerate the kidults until they get married and leave. At that point, they become fair game to a lot of people around here.

What I'm curious to see is how people react when that kidult is someone like Jana, Jinger, Joy, or Josiah. Will they receive the same criticism for talking over others and getting pregnant immediately like Jill? Will people hold it against them if they get a job/marry someone who works for a hate group like Josh? Will they be held accountable should they constantly preach on social media the way Jessa does? Or will these kids be given a pass because they're the favorites around here?

In my opinion, all of these kids hold the same beliefs as their parents. Some may believe less than others and some may be more vocal, but they all hold the same beliefs on abortion, birth control, homosexuality, etc. Will they be expected to adapt the beliefs they were raised with as quickly as their married siblings were?

I am far more bothered by their lack of living their actual beliefs. The girls are raised to be homemakers, yet none of the 3 married gals seems particularly skilled in the kitchen or anything homemaker related, really. Isn't cooking one of the "biggies" in homemaking? Do Jill, Anna, or Jessa sew, garden, bake, can????? So working outside the home is a no go, and from the looks of things, there is not much traditional work getting done within the home either. I'll question that until the cows come home.

If you're going to claim that this is your whole purpose in life and have a TV show that you use as a platform to share your beliefs to the world, could you at least be proficient in the skills you claim are your entire intended purpose in life ? Either that or stop talking about it.

Which ever parent was responsible for getting the girls up-to-snuff on the traditional homemaker roles and skills, failed.

It just makes me think that Jana was doing it all herself-

I have 2 kids 28 (girl) and 24 (boy) and I know sometimes it's just easier to do it yourself. I know they lack some of the traditional skills that I could have imparted. My daughter does not cook, but her husband does. My daughter also works longer hours and makes more money than her husband because she has an advanced degree...and is tri-lingual...

My boy has more at home skills- he likes to cook and what not, but he also has a college degree and works FT. So, while they were not getting schooled in all things home related, they were getting educated in other areas.

Aside from JD- what are the Duggar offspring actually doing?????

As a mom with grown kids similar in age to the Duggars, I am astounded at their lack of contribution to society and themselves. I really am.

Those kids were locked in that house all those years, and aside from Jana and JD, they seem to have collectively acquired few skills. WHAT were they doing in that house all darn day long, year after year? There's only so many poopy diapers to change and sippy cups to fill from the soda dispenser....and lots of hands. WHAT were they doing?????

The problem for me is the discrepancy in what they say they do and what they are actually shown doing.

And I doubt TLC is giving prompts like, "Ok Jill, act like a ditz who cannot figure out that if 1 serving of rice requires 0.5 cups of rice and 1 cup of water, how much rice and water would you add for 3 servings."

"I am used to cooking with big pots..."Um, you can use a big pot to make smaller portions.

What Jill was actually saying (and we've seen it in the Duggars' own kitchen), I am used to using the big pot and filling it 3/4ths full with water and throwing in a bunch of rice.... No one ever taught those girls about using and following a recipe.

I also wonder about the reading comprehension skills.

Not educated to work outside the home

Not trained to work within-

[Imagine20]

Once they're out and their on social media, I say that's the point where they're showing the world who they really are. They've been on tv long enough and have traveled enough to know there are differing opinions out there. Instead of keep their mouths shut, if they were reassessing their values, they've just gone full steam ahead with the cultish crap they have made a conscious decision to continue to believe.

[FundieFarmer]

What I find particularly grating is that now they have left the nest, they theoretically have the opportunity to learn and look into new things. I have always wanted to learn everything I could, and have studied numerous things that I knew I would never embrace as my own, but simply because I just wanted to understand another POV. I believe it was Paul himself who discusses how he was something to everyone by taking on parts of their own lives in order to convert them. If the Duggars did that, they might be far more effectual.

I agree that waiting a while may see a change in them, at least a bit. I feel like we're seeing that with Josh and Anna, to some degree. He's still involved with the FRC, but I do think they've made small strides of change. Not quite to what we would consider a big deal, but still there nonetheless.

Even if the adult kids weren't to do a full-blown deep dive into controversial subjects, I think they would learn some things from opening their eyes even just a little bit more.

[Nic]

JB doles it out- Without that allowance, their lives would be much tougher. They'd have to get up (probably before the sun), bust hump all day for likely minimum wage, and find a way to make ends meet. Good by Forever 21, cars, I Phones and Apple computers, This way IS easier, and the path of least resistance.

FWI, I have stated [many, many times] that JB knows each kids' currency and that is how they are compensated. However, I do not believe that each adult is compensated by TLC individually. And to this point, that "POV" has never been verified. Still waiting for that proof from those who claim such-

Agree and moreover, they could argue that money and lifestyle is their reward for living such a virtuous "servant" lifestyle.

And no, I don't think TLC pays the adults individually. Much easier to hire the Duggar family as the talent and have JB sort out individuals. Otherwise TLC has to go in and negotiate contracts with too many people, and JB would be involved with that anyway.

[BrownieMomma]

Agree and moreover, they could argue that money and lifestyle is their reward for living such a virtuous "servant" lifestyle.

And no, I don't think TLC pays the adults individually. Much easier to hire the Duggar family as the talent and have JB sort out individuals. Otherwise TLC has to go in and negotiate contracts with too many people, and JB would be involved with that anyway.

Considering that a few rags published how Kris Jenner negotiated a new deal for the Kardashians and how it was split - 100mill between kris, kim, khloe, kourtney, kendall, kylie and support staff, it stands to reason that is probably standard that these reality shows are negotiated with one person/married couple/business entity.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I'm another one who has often wondered why the SAHD, raised to be home makers, don't exhibit any home making skills. I was not raised to be a home maker but my mom taught me all sorts of things, from knitting and crocheting to baking and canning. Gardening, house maintenance, interior decorating, sewing, blah blah blah. And all this in addition to my hobbies like playing piano and reading and writing. So my theory is that Michelle herself was a very inadequate home maker-- relying on cheap processed foods and the kindness of others.

I wonder if perhaps the older Duggarlings seem more "real" to Michelle and JD and that's why they are more involved in their lives? I don't have any clue as to who the children are after Joy, with the noticeable exception of Josie, and perhaps for Michelle they all sort of blend together as well. Plus I get the feeling that the lost children got much less parental time after the Duggars became famous because Mom and Dad got busier. Michelle has probably spent a fraction of the time with her youngest that she was able to give Josh and the others when they were young.

[lizbeth]

I don't know who half of the kids are either. I thought that was just because I'm still pretty new to the Duggars, but perhaps a lot of people are only familiar with the oldest children. After Joy, I just see a bunch of indistinguishable blond girls. I'm not sure I've even seen the faces of a lot of the younger boys...I mean I'm sure I have, but I don't really remember.

[lilith]

I'm another one who has often wondered why the SAHD, raised to be home makers, don't exhibit any home making skills. I was not raised to be a home maker but my mom taught me all sorts of things, from knitting and crocheting to baking and canning. Gardening, house maintenance, interior decorating, sewing, blah blah blah. And all this in addition to my hobbies like playing piano and reading and writing. So my theory is that Michelle herself was a very inadequate home maker-- relying on cheap processed foods and the kindness of others.

I wonder if perhaps the older Duggarlings seem more "real" to Michelle and JD and that's why they are more involved in their lives? I don't have any clue as to who the children are after Joy, with the noticeable exception of Josie, and perhaps for Michelle they all sort of blend together as well. Plus I get the feeling that the lost children got much less parental time after the Duggars became famous because Mom and Dad got busier. Michelle has probably spent a fraction of the time with her youngest that she was able to give Josh and the others when they were young.

Michelle has been a working mother for years now, leaving her kids in the care of her oldest daughters and various "helpers". She may proclaim herself a godly keeper at home, but she's a professional speaker on the Christian and conservative politics circuits.