A young Jehovah's Witness mom who died from refusing blood

[Coldwinterskies]

This article about a Jehovah's Witness young mom's needless death being praised as "faithful and courageous" on the "JW_inspirational" Instagram page scares the bejeebers out of me because I can picture something like this happening in my family.

A young woman in my own family is a JW who is about to get married to another JW guy in just a few weeks (JWs do courtships like the Duggars do, so I don't even know how well she knows her future hubby, but that's a story for another post). I know that she has big plans for being a mom and I have thought before about how she could end up dying from a pregnancy. Now here I see a tangible example of that happening.

A part of me desperately wants to say to her, "Wake up before you put yourself in danger! This cult is lying to you about so many things - don't waste your precious life like this!" Unfortunately, I know that if I say anything that direct against the JWs, she won't listen to me. The JWs literally brainwash their followers into thinking that anyone who criticizes the organization is a lying enemy. So, unfortunately, I know that if I try to have a candid discussion with her, she'll just dig in her heels and be offended.

It is sad and scary when a cult has infested your family. Our relationship would be a lot better if we could just be our honest selves with each other, instead of both of us having to watch our behavior because of the cult.

[DGayle]

What's so creepy is how excited her family and friends sound about her dying. The "Oh, yeah, it's sad," posts are tinged with praise and happiness.

I have a friend whose dad died from refusing blood. My friend was already out of the cult by then, but he had talked enough about it that I know it has affected him deeply. People were full of praise for his dad.

It takes a stronger person to go against the church to do what you need to do to be there for your kids. That young mom was selfish. She chose going to immediate paradise over being there for her daughter.

[salex]

Don't they have artificial blood now that JW allow for tranfusions?

cjonline.com/news/2013-05-06/kansas-jehovahs-witness-saved-blood-substitute

OK, it is more or less experimental, but it is around....

[anjulibai]

There was a case I read about once of a JW woman attacked by her mentally ill son. He stabbed her and she needed a blood transfusion. She refused and died. The son was charged with murder, but the son's lawyers argued that he shouldn't be charged with murder because his mother chose to die instead of getting life-saving treatment; if she had gotten the treatment, her son would have only been charged with attempted murder.

I told my JW ex-BF once about this case and asked what he thought. He didn't really have an answer.

Of course he and his whole family left the JWs not long completely not long after he and I broke up.

[bionicmlle]

So sad, this story. And so infuriating. Yes, the JDubs will say they have products that are "just as effective! Just as good!" As blood transfusion (an easy and relatively safe procedure in this day-and-age...) .... /start rant/ BUT THEY DON'T!!! They hand out this ridiculous literature to doctors and nurses who clearly know better and who are trying to save lives (most infuriating cases are when this happens in case of a child who cannot consent....) to "educate" staff on better methods of oxygen delivery - more blood cells/oxygen carrying capacity not being necessary. Well. Golly, gee, thanks, JDub-bros! We never thought of trying this completely inane bullshit that you have on your tract here that you'd like me to try in order to save your son. "Plasma expanders?" Yeah. No oxygen! But nice try. Enhance the body's production of RBC's? WONDERFUL, great plan. Will take minimum of 42 days, so good luck with that. WELL, GEEWILLIKERS, I ALREADY KNOW THIS IS BULLSHIT AND YOUR KID WILL DIE UNLESS WE GO ABOUT THIS SIMPLE [transfusion] PROCEDURE FOR WHICH I HAVE NO ALTERNATIVE. Oxygen. Brain. One-train-only track, sir.

Edited to add: /end rant/ sorry, fair Jingers.

[feministxtian]

This was our biggest fear while my husband's daughters were growing up. They both proudly carried their "no blood" cards. Fortunately, it never came up and after one of the girls (they're twins) started nursing school, those cards went in the trash and they exited the JW's shortly thereafter. My husband is also thankful he wasn't married to his x when he had his pancreatectomy. He lost a LOT of blood and had to be transfused. His x would not have permitted it. I do remember being asked by the ICU nurses if I had any objections to a blood transfusion. I told them hell no and they were welcome to give him whatever he needed. He ended up needing 2-3 units of RBC and I think 1-2 of plasma. After they hooked him up, they gave ME valium to calm me down!

[Arete]

JW men and women die every year from refusal to consent to blood transfusion. It is just heartbreaking. Blood saves lives. Period. The End. There are no substitutes available to someone who needs immediate transfusion to live.

While I'm here, I wanted to say a big Thank You to any of you ladies or gentlemen here who donate blood. When I had my recent accident, I needed several transfusions to save my life and put me on the road to recovery. There isn't enough gratitude in the world for donors whose time and effort ensures fewer people mourn every day.

[Four is Enough]

I do not mind an ADULT allowing himself or herself to die because they refuse blood due to bona fide religious beliefs. Well, I do think it's stupid and a waste, but it is THEIR decision. When they make that choice for their children? It's a sticky wicket, IMO.. of course they will choose their beliefs over "medical knowledge"... but what's the right thing to do? As a medical professional, I would have to cover my liability by having the parents sign some sort of form stating that they refused all blood products due to their beliefs, etc. I would argue myself blue in the face, using anything I could to change the parents' minds, but ultimately? Who decides?

On another note, I, too, have been the recipient of blood transfusions, and I thank blood, tissue, and organ donors from the bottom of my heart, and encourage all people to look into donation and what their organs could mean to others, when they are done with them.

[Jana814]

So sad that this happened.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Such a waste of a life :( She could have lived and got to see her baby grow up :(

[sparkles]

I do not mind an ADULT allowing himself or herself to die because they refuse blood due to bona fide religious beliefs. Well, I do think it's stupid and a waste, but it is THEIR decision. When they make that choice for their children? It's a sticky wicket, IMO.. of course they will choose their beliefs over "medical knowledge"... but what's the right thing to do? As a medical professional, I would have to cover my liability by having the parents sign some sort of form stating that they refused all blood products due to their beliefs, etc. I would argue myself blue in the face, using anything I could to change the parents' minds, but ultimately? Who decides?

On another note, I, too, have been the recipient of blood transfusions, and I thank blood, tissue, and organ donors from the bottom of my heart, and encourage all people to look into donation and what their organs could mean to others, when they are done with them.

I don't have an issue with it either although I agree it's a stupid waste. What I DO have an issue with is that any religion would make such a decision necessary in the first place.

[2xx1xy1JD]

My husband had a similar situation as a resident, where they basically had to watch a woman die after childbirth because she had heavy bleeding and refused blood because she was a JW. Legally, it would have been battery for them to transfuse her against her explicit instructions.

I'm not really sure how this inspires anyone. A young woman dies at what should have been the happiest time of her life, and her newborn daughter is left motherless. The death is 100% preventable. Yep, sign me up. :roll:

Laws vary from place to place when it comes to children. Where I live, if there was a definite risk of harm from refusing the transfusion and the child wasn't mature enough to give or refuse consent themselves, there would be an emergency child protection hearing.

I know that blood transfusions are not entirely risk-free, as my uncle contracted Hep C from a tainted transfusion and ultimately needed a liver transplant. Even still, the medical evidence is clear that transfusions save lives, period.

I saw that the website mentioned the Jewish concept of "pikuach nefesh", which basically means that religious laws (except for murder, idolatry and adultery/incest) are suspended where it is necessary to save a life. Does anyone know how/why that concept didn't get preserved along with other Biblical rules? Was it because it was more of an oral teaching?

[NotALoserLikeYou]

It's sad, it's sick. The comments are frightening. JW are a special kind of weird.

[KittenMitten]

This whole thing really gets me on a very personal level. I nearly lost my son in the 4th month of pregnancy, but everything worked out. Labor and delivery was a nightmare. I was induced Tuesday at 7am and did not give birth until Thursday (9/9/99 @ 2:09, thank you very much). I ended dehydrated, the baby's heart rate dropped and too late for C-section. Most of the rest of this was hazy. Son born, took a while to cry and low to apgar. Apparently I was bleeding out and raced to OR. Then I had a reaction to the anesthesia and couldn't breathe. Hazy again. Next I recall someone was handing me this squalling baby. I had no idea what was up, why were these people handing me a baby. I couldn't nurse at first due to dehydration. Apparently talked crazy talk, according to people later. I was offered transfusions, but refused, initially, because I was out of my mind. The nurse talked me into it a few hours later. After the transfusion I felt so much better. I was able to think. The blinding headache went away. Later the doctor told me I would have died, and reportedly lost 50% of my blood. It took quite a while to recover. I remember thinking during that crazy time that I was going to die and was so sad that I would not get to know my son.

I read above that if the hospital forced the transfusion it would be battery. I get that on a logical level and am a very strong advocate for self determination. However, I made that decision to not get blood when I was out of my mind. There were so many things going wrong with my body I could not make an informed consent. Thank goodness for that nurse.

Sorry for the TMI, I have never actually discussed much of this and do my best not to think of it. I just wonder what this mom was thinking as she died.

[Shirley Blest]

This hurts my heart...brainwashed for years that God says to abstain from blood, brainwashed that it's in the bible...brainwashed that it's the ultimate reward to stand your faith and lose your life for your beliefs. Brainwashed.

[2xx1xy1JD]

To be clear, the battery case involved very clear cut refusal of blood transfusion by a JW, including a signed wallet card. It was a bit different from simply being too out of it to provide consent. Consent during an emergency when you are not mentally capable of providing it can be provided by your next of kin/designated decision-maker.

[KittenMitten]

To be clear, the battery case involved very clear cut refusal of blood transfusion by a JW, including a signed wallet card. It was a bit different from simply being too out of it to provide consent. Consent during an emergency when you are not mentally capable of providing it can be provided by your next of kin/designated decision-maker.

Thanks, you are right. This just touched me on a gut level. I just remember thinking at one point I was going to die and never see my son grow up. Never help him grow up. But, I received the treatment I needed and now I have a 15 1/2 year old. It's been and continues to be an adventure as a mom.

I still wonder what she thought at the end and my heart hurts that she will not have what I have. The joy of being a mom.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I found this on the official JW site:

Myth: Many Witnesses, including children, die each year as a result of refusing blood transfusions.

Fact: This statement is totally unfounded. Surgeons regularly perform such complex procedures as heart operations, orthopedic surgery, and organ transplants without the use of blood transfusions. * Patients, including children, who do not receive transfusions usually fare as well as or better than those who do accept transfusions. * In any case, no one can say for certain that a patient will die because of refusing blood or will live because of accepting it.

From here: http://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses ... nsfusions/

Obviously, not every surgery requires blood transfusions, and it's a case-by-case determination. This statement is a real problem, though, because it gives the FALSE impression that refusing a blood transfusion will not be a decision that could potentially cost someone their life unnecessarily. When transfusions are required, it's usually for a good reason like extreme blood loss, and yes, it is absolutely possible to say for certain that a blood transfusion in a case of severe hemorrhage will make the difference between life and death.

If someone is signing a card refusing blood under any circumstances and they do so knowing that they could die as a result, I'll think that is horribly twisted - but I will defend their legal right as a mentally capable adult to control their own medical decision.

If someone is under the false impression that blood transfusions don't save lives, though, you have to question whether or not this is actually informed consent/refusal.

[2xx1xy1JD]

It's sad, it's sick. The comments are frightening. JW are a special kind of weird.

I completely disagree with the JW position on blood transfusions and the demand that followers choose death over a medical procedure.

At the same time....there are other situations where that "special kind of weird" was actually admirable.

During WWII, they were persecuted by the Nazis as they refused to be drafted, to pledge allegiance to Hitler or to do war work. They lost their jobs and benefits, and were rounded up and sent to concentration camps. The JWs could have avoided persecution and saved their lives by giving up on their faith and their ideals, but they didn't. The "rational" thing to do in Nazi Germany was to cooperate with the regime, but they chose to do the moral thing instead.

https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/js ... hovah.html

I wouldn't want to be a part of the group, but I also know that the odds of them ever causing me harm are extremely remote.

[KittenMitten]

I found this on the official JW site:

From here: http://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses ... nsfusions/

Obviously, not every surgery requires blood transfusions, and it's a case-by-case determination. This statement is a real problem, though, because it gives the FALSE impression that refusing a blood transfusion will not be a decision that could potentially cost someone their life unnecessarily. When transfusions are required, it's usually for a good reason like extreme blood loss, and yes, it is absolutely possible to say for certain that a blood transfusion in a case of severe hemorrhage will make the difference between life and death.

If someone is signing a card refusing blood under any circumstances and they do so knowing that they could die as a result, I'll think that is horribly twisted - but I will defend their legal right as a mentally capable adult to control their own medical decision.

If someone is under the false impression that blood transfusions don't save lives, though, you have to question whether or not this is actually informed consent/refusal.

I would assume that the literature you referred to was completed or vetted by lawyers so according to the law it is informed consent. But in spirit it certainly it is not.

As an American, I do support freedom of religion. I expect my beliefs to be respected and I would respect other's right, including to not give transfusions to adults. I feel far less comfortable when religious beliefs effect children. I could not imagine having to stand by and watch a young mother die like your husband had to. Most helpless feeling ever.

I am just so sad for this family.

[JMarie]

The comments remind me of comments made on pro-anorexia blogs. You know, the ones that really make you cringe, like "if you can do 500 calories a day, try cutting down to 300 calories a day and you'll feel sooooooo much better!!!!"

[nomoxian]

There was a case I read about once of a JW woman attacked by her mentally ill son. He stabbed her and she needed a blood transfusion. She refused and died. The son was charged with murder, but the son's lawyers argued that he shouldn't be charged with murder because his mother chose to die instead of getting life-saving treatment; if she had gotten the treatment, her son would have only been charged with attempted murder.

I told my JW ex-BF once about this case and asked what he thought. He didn't really have an answer.

Of course he and his whole family left the JWs not long completely not long after he and I broke up.

I really hope that son isn't on death row!

Even if it was a full out murder (I don't think it was because she denied herself treatment that would have let her live) he has a mental illness... and I'm just personally not a fan of the death penalty.

[FaustianSlip]

I saw that the website mentioned the Jewish concept of "pikuach nefesh", which basically means that religious laws (except for murder, idolatry and adultery/incest) are suspended where it is necessary to save a life. Does anyone know how/why that concept didn't get preserved along with other Biblical rules? Was it because it was more of an oral teaching?

I assume because it's primarily a Talmudic/rabbinic teaching- my understanding is that the concept of "pikuach nefesh" is based on the interpretation of the verse saying, "You will live by these commandments." You will live by them, not die for them, so the rabbis interpreted it to mean that halacha is overruled when it comes to life and death situations. That whole concept was one of the things that drew me to Judaism, actually- it seemed vastly more sensible and humane than groups like the JWs or the Catholics idolizing women who died refusing blood transfusions or abortions. Ugh.

[polecat]

To be clear, the battery case involved very clear cut refusal of blood transfusion by a JW, including a signed wallet card. It was a bit different from simply being too out of it to provide consent. Consent during an emergency when you are not mentally capable of providing it can be provided by your next of kin/designated decision-maker.

I really do wonder if it would have been considered battery if she'd happened to have signed a consent form like I did when my kids were born. The hospital would use it to cover their heinies. (And no, I am absolutely NOT saying they should have transfused against her will. As long as she was of sound mind and aware of the consequences either way, she had every right to say what she did and did not want done re: transfusions -- I'm just curious as to whether the hospital would have faced consequences for overriding her stated desires.) Long story short: We signed a consent form allowing the hospital to provide whatever care they deemed necessary, which you'd think would be a good thing just in case, but they very nearly DID do something that they wanted to do in spite of our clear and previously stated choice to NOT have that specific procedure performed. I flat out refused to let the nurse have my baby, and I'd have done everything in my power to stop the hospital at that point. But if I'd been out of it due to meds or something? They'd have done it without consequences, and I'd have had no recourse at all.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Here's the Ontario, Canada court of appeal case from 1990 that made it clear that JWs had the right to refuse blood transfusions even to the point of death: http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onca/doc/19 ... i6868.html

In that case, there was a signed wallet card, and the woman was brought to the hospital unconscious due to an accident.

I assume that a JW would look over any consent form and make their specific wishes known re blood transfusions ahead of time.