Ashley Schnarr of SAHD blog married and less fundy!

[Duggarlicious]

Remember Ashley, of stayathomedaughter.com? She took a break after a courtship gone wrong, now is married and blogging under ashleyeaster.com and claiming that she was too legalistic before and rethinking lots of her former views.... Not fundy light, per se, but definitely lighter than before!

[Firiel]

Remember Ashley, of stayathomedaughter.com? She took a break after a courtship gone wrong, now is married and blogging under ashleyeaster.com and claiming that she was too legalistic before and rethinking lots of her former views.... Not fundy light, per se, but definitely lighter than before!

Wait, she has a photo of herself as Rosie the Riveter. Isn't Rosie the Riveter a pretty feminist symbol? She certainly sounds AT LEAST fundie-light, probably even a moderate on the conservative to liberal scale.

This reminds me of a topic I need to start!

[childerowland]

Wow, I'd completely forgotten about her! I'm glad she's become less fundie or even left fundie-ism altogether by the sound of a recent blog post:

I was forced to struggle through realizing modesty has more to do with materialism than skirt length; that “husband, lead you wife†isn’t a verse in the Bible; that spanking your child isn’t a mandate; that the New Testament mentions a handful of women church leaders; that Jesus turned water into alcohol; that some people don’t fit the Church’s gender box and that sign gifts might still be a thing.

:clap:

I remember thinking her ex-fiance sounded like a complete asshole (he had his own blog, so there was a lot of information about him), so I'm glad she got out of that relationship.

[lemondrop]

This may be off topic, but what are sign gifts?

[Coldwinterskies]

Definitely sounds like she is a little more relaxed now than the average fundie. Good for her. :)

[Howl]

I was forced to struggle through realizing modesty has more to do with materialism than skirt length; that “husband, lead you wife†isn’t a verse in the Bible; that spanking your child isn’t a mandate; that the New Testament mentions a handful of women church leaders; that Jesus turned water into alcohol; that some people don’t fit the Church’s gender box and that sign gifts might still be a thing.

The truly exciting aspect of her post is not so much where she is on the fundie spectrum now, but that she is thinking, and thinking critically. She actually (dare I say it) sounds pretty progressive. AWESOME!

[Kelsey]

Is this the same Ashley where the guy she was courting blogged about how he couldn't wait for "her bountiful harvest?"

[childerowland]

Is this the same Ashley where the guy she was courting blogged about how he couldn't wait for "her bountiful harvest?"

YES!

I looked at her old blog and she describes that relationship as abusive, which doesn't surprise me much given what the guy was like. He's still blogging and doesn't seem to have changed much (strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com).

This may be off topic, but what are sign gifts?

I don't know - I wondered that too.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I'm sure sign gifts are gifts of prophecy and tongues which are also called signs and wonders. Some Christians think those gifts ceased after Jesus' time and others don't.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

I'm so happy for her! It sounds like she's done a lot of thinking and made a lot of changes. In some ways she was lucky to have a broken engagement-- it probably have her a chance to reconsider her thinking.

One thing I hope she keeps working on-- and this is a general comment aimed at like, half the blogs we discuss-- is becoming more specific in her writing. So many Christian bloggers follow this vague, dramatic style that drives me NUTS! Some blogger shows up to give an account of their crisis of faith and you hope it's going to be concrete and informative like "I was getting frustrated living with my parents because of x, y, and z when I read about a different opportunity that I wanted to pursue so I talked to a mentor who made this interesting point..." But instead you always get "I was standing on the edge! I had been crying out to god for so long and now I was at the crossroads... I was angry at first but when god showed me his wisdom I was transformed!" WTF does that mean? There is zero actual content in that kind of writing. (Sorry for the rant, I was just excited to read about her transition and a little disappointed that there weren't more specifics)

[meda]

I'm so happy for her! It sounds like she's done a lot of thinking and made a lot of changes. In some ways she was lucky to have a broken engagement-- it probably have her a chance to reconsider her thinking.

One thing I hope she keeps working on-- and this is a general comment aimed at like, half the blogs we discuss-- is becoming more specific in her writing. So many Christian bloggers follow this vague, dramatic style that drives me NUTS! Some blogger shows up to give an account of their crisis of faith and you hope it's going to be concrete and informative like "I was getting frustrated living with my parents because of x, y, and z when I read about a different opportunity that I wanted to pursue so I talked to a mentor who made this interesting point..." But instead you always get "I was standing on the edge! I had been crying out to god for so long and now I was at the crossroads... I was angry at first but when god showed me his wisdom I was transformed!" WTF does that mean? There is zero actual content in that kind of writing. (Sorry for the rant, I was just excited to read about her transition and a little disappointed that there weren't more specifics)

That's because of the pernicious influence of Ann VosKamp, who perfected vagueblogging Christianese, published a book or 5 of the same drivel, and made a fortune. All the Christian SAHD/mommy bloggers copy her style.

aholyexperience.com

[Firiel]

That's because of the pernicious influence of Ann VosKamp, who perfected vagueblogging Christianese, published a book or 5 of the same drivel, and made a fortune. All the Christian SAHD/mommy bloggers copy her style.

aholyexperience.com

UGH. I hate Ann Voskamp. I tried to read one of her books, which started off with "The Eye of Argon" level bad writing:

A glowing sun-orb fills an August sky the day this story begins, the day I am born, the day I begin to live.

And I fill my mother's tearing ring of fire with my body emerging, virgin lungs searing with air of this earth and I enter the world like every person born enters the world: with clenched fists.

From the diameter of her fullness, I empty her out--and she bleeds. Vernix-creased and squalling, I am held to the light.

NO. WHAT EDITOR TOLD HER THIS WAS OKAY?

(quote taken from the Amazon preview of her book)

[Howl]

A glowing sun-orb fills an August sky the day this story begins, the day I am born, the day I begin to live.

And I fill my mother's tearing ring of fire with my body emerging, virgin lungs searing with air of this earth and I enter the world like every person born enters the world: with clenched fists.

From the diameter of her fullness, I empty her out--and she bleeds. Vernix-creased and squalling, I am held to the light.

Oh, please. Oh please, please, please, please, PUL-LEEZE tell me this is a past winning entry in The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest and NOT published writing. Oh. please, I'm begging here. Otherwise, I've got to perform a brain bleach exorcism RIGHT NOW.

Actually, just as I was looking for a suitable auger to begin the trepanning process, the antidote woke me up like a wet slimy rag flung across my face: get to The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest ASAP and begin reading entries: www.bulwer-lytton.com/

Here, I'll get you started:

Ronald left this world as he entered it: on a frigid winter night, amid frantic screams and blood-soaked linens, while relatives stood nearby and muttered furious promises to find and punish the man responsible. — Rebecca Oas, Atlanta, GA

When the dead moose floated into view the famished crew cheered – this had to mean land! – but Captain Walgrove, flinty-eyed and clear headed thanks to the starvation cleanse in progress, gave fateful orders to remain on the original course and await the appearance of a second and confirming moose. — Elizabeth (Betsy) Dorfman, Bainbridge Island, WA

But yes, more detail from bloggers (rather than vague inspiration) would be better. I like Cynthia Jeub's compelling writing.

Also, her new husband's wedding outfit was outstanding! Who wouldn't love a man who can rock that look?

[nausicaa]

YES!

I looked at her old blog and she describes that relationship as abusive, which doesn't surprise me much given what the guy was like. He's still blogging and doesn't seem to have changed much (strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com).

Interesting, where did you find that she described the relationship as abusive? Ashley is actually one of my gateway fundies, and I remember following that first courtship/engagement. I recall her saying something vague about their breaking up because of personality differences, not because of any serious transgression. I must have missed the follow up.

But yeah, that first fiance always gave me the skeeves and I'm glad she escaped from that.

[Snarkangel Gabriel]

I had read her blog before and I am glad she has moved towards thinking and questioning. That is so refreshing.

[childerowland]

Interesting, where did you find that she described the relationship as abusive? Ashley is actually one of my gateway fundies, and I remember following that first courtship/engagement. I recall her saying something vague about their breaking up because of personality differences, not because of any serious transgression. I must have missed the follow up.

But yeah, that first fiance always gave me the skeeves and I'm glad she escaped from that.

Yes, she was initially vague about it. It's in a recent post on her old blog that she describes the relationship as having been abusive: stayathomedaughter.com

2012 was a kind of hell, going through the highs and lows of a rocky engagement, ending it and finally realizing that it had been an abusive relationship. In 2013, I was dealing with the aftermath of the events which had damaged me so deeply that I almost did not recover. I thank the Lord for a supportive family who loved and prayed for me. I am forever grateful.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

That's because of the pernicious influence of Ann VosKamp, who perfected vagueblogging Christianese, published a book or 5 of the same drivel, and made a fortune. All the Christian SAHD/mommy bloggers copy her style.

aholyexperience.com

Oh yuck. I've seen her name all over the place but never actually read the blog. It's even worse than I thought! Stop hitting 'enter' after every line! If your life is so wild, dizzying, breathtaking, ~*~messy but beautiful~*~ why don't you ever describe anything that actually happens in it? Do you have any regular emotions that normal people can identify with or just "brokenness" and "hope" and "filled with His wonder"?

Ugh, it's the ur-text of everything I've ever hate-clicked on Pinterest.

[nausicaa]

Yes, she was initially vague about it. It's in a recent post on her old blog that she describes the relationship as having been abusive: stayathomedaughter.com

Wow, thanks for pulling up that quote. I feel bad she had to go through that, but I'm glad she came from a family that was open enough to allow her to call it off. And it's comforting to know my douche-radar is still fairly accurate.

[salsa]

I'm sure sign gifts are gifts of prophecy and tongues which are also called signs and wonders. Some Christians think those gifts ceased after Jesus' time and others don't.

Except for the very early church, as understood in the book of Acts.

eta- most fundies believe the spiritual gifts no longer manifest.

[salsa]

I vaguely remember that blog. I probably stumbled on it at some point,, going down a fundie blogger rabbit hole...

This is cool! I'll be taking gander at her new and old blogs.

I'm really curious about her ex's blog - anyone have any information?

[acheronbeach]

UGH. I hate Ann Voskamp. I tried to read one of her books, which started off with "The Eye of Argon" level bad writing:

NO. WHAT EDITOR TOLD HER THIS WAS OKAY?

(quote taken from the Amazon preview of her book)

YES! Eye of Argon reference... Gringr FTW!

[Firiel]

YES! Eye of Argon reference... Gringr FTW!

:mrgreen:

I'm glad you've had the joy of reading that wonderful piece of fiction, too!

[FundieFarmer]

Don't kill me, but I don't hate Ann Voskamp.

But I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who thought her writing style was something else.

[meda]

Don't kill me, but I don't hate Ann Voskamp.

But I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who thought her writing style was something else.

It's ok, we forgive you. :) I have no issue with her message, which seems to be to find a vibrant, personal relationship with God and to use that relationship as a positive source of strength. From the little I have read, she does not appear to have a judgmental, negative message.

If that works for you, great. I just hate the fact that she has adopted this incredibly affected writing style to convey that message, and that every aspiring female fun die "writer" has decided to copy it. I think it limits her audience and weakens her voice. I've wondered if she felt that she had to adopt such a twee writing style because as a woman, she didn't think she could write in as clear and direct a manner as a male writer. Her writings are "teachings" about the Bible and how to deepen one's faith, and in that subculture it seems as though such writing from a woman must be couched as purple prose covered in a layer of fluffy, superfluous grammatical kudzu.

[Firiel]

It's ok, we forgive you. :) I have no issue with her message, which seems to be to find a vibrant, personal relationship with God and to use that relationship as a positive source of strength. From the little I have read, she does not appear to have a judgmental, negative message.

If that works for you, great. I just hate the fact that she has adopted this incredibly affected writing style to convey that message, and that every aspiring female fun die "writer" has decided to copy it. I think it limits her audience and weakens her voice. I've wondered if she felt that she had to adopt such a twee writing style because as a woman, she didn't think she could write in as clear and direct a manner as a male writer. Her writings are "teachings" about the Bible and how to deepen one's faith, and in that subculture it seems as though such writing from a woman must be couched as purple prose covered in a layer of fluffy, superfluous grammatical kudzu.

Same here. The principle of her writing doesn't bother me, even if it's not quite something that grips me personally.

But Ann Voskamp deeply offends my sensibilities as a lit major!

THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR REFERRING TO A VAGINA AS A TEARING RING OF FIRE. :wink-kitty: 8-)