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Jim Bob`s hypocrisy


Nellie

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He wants to marry them off, not give them an education, after all they ARE baby machines, not individual, intelligent young women, and that's forbidden for them to think for themselves, they are not permitted to do so, and require a permanent accountability partner, so of course he'll shell out the money for the weddings.

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I WISH my parents had done this. Since kids about 13 aren't generally too thrilled with gifts like that (unless they're super mature for some reason or have an interest in something like that), I probably would have benefited most from maybe one "useful" present like dishware or linens and one "here and now" present like a video game or clothes or something. It seems to me like with every kid that moves out, the Duggars would need fewer items like towels and such for their home and could give some stuff to their kids when they get married. Even if it's a hand-me-down, anything would help. Do they do this at all? Do we know? Or is it literally just "ask all these zillion people, most of which are essentially strangers, for EVERY DAMN THING."

The fun presets came from grandparents or buying ourselves, I think my cousins and I were just raised to be practical because our moms had to do without growing up so they made sure we appreciated everything we had from a young age.

I wish the Duggars were more practical in that sense, especially for the younger ones!

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No, he hasn't provided his daughters with a permanent home. He said that Jill and Shaggy can live in HIS property until he sells it. I don't know about Jessa and her manchild, but to Jill and Shaggy he said: welcome to your TEMPORARY home. So I cannot give him that. What, a few months of living rent-free while his pregnant daughter keeps the show going on and the cash rolling in for him? That's balaned! They are also under JB's thumb, at his mercy, stripped of their privacy, having a TV birth, and having all kinds of strangers broadcasting their lives. All that for a house that they do not own, and they will have to move out of. What generosity, really.

At least Derick is (comparatively) smart and cash-savvy. I'm willing to assume he's putting the equivalent of a mortgage payment into savings while he and Jill have their Free House.

Jessa and Bin? Saving? Saving what?

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Jessa and Bin? Saving? Saving what?

Well saving their breath and shutting the hell up would be nice for starters.

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People on that and other forum thread are debating whether Jessa and Ben fooled JB into letting them get married or not, but I personally am convinced JB picked Ben out to be the submissive son in law, a future preacher to continue to be in the cult, live close to mom and dad and follow all the rules. Jessa is a beautiful girl, a fundie princess from a TV show, if JB wanted he could have found someone of the likes of Tim Tebow for her but he didnt. I honestly dont believe Ben is that drop dead gorgeous that Jessa just wanted to jump his bones and pushed JB to marry them. I believe daddy played the matchmaker because he is a control freak and would rather have a yesman to toe his line as a son in law, instead of actually helping his daughter find a proper provider and a mature man. The bility to control for him is actually more important than his daughters financial security.

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Well saving their breath and shutting the hell up would be nice for starters.

Saving-their allowance money. Of course this means that they're going to have stop hitting up Chick-fil-a and other fine dining establishments.

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Hi Nellie! I'm late to this thread--I'm late to all threads, because I'm perpetually reading yesterday's threads today--so maybe this has been covered already, but for the record, JB got the plane for $200,000, iirc. Which is a bargain, wouldn't you agree? :angry-banghead:

I also feel that 20 to 30K for 1500 people is downright miserly. They served artificial powdered lemonade, ffs. I'm not a wedding person, but google tells me that outside the big cities, 25K is the average for 150 people. So the Duggars got ten times their money's worth! :dance:

As far as the bizarre wedding budget goes, I've always thought they're doing weddings the same way the rest of their peer group does it (which is fine, btw), except for the fact that they are no longer in the same income bracket as their peers. I've read many wedding stories on fj about punch and mint weddings. Not saying I agree with them, but if that's how fundagelical weddings work in NWA, what's it to me.

I think it would be hard to know how to do a wedding "better" when you have (or are expected to spend) more money than what is typical for your social set. And that's all the Duggar sympathy I have for now. :mrgreen:

I agree. I think a big part of what we witnessed with the weddings was a bit of confusion for the family - they threw a wedding similar to what other families in their group would throw, but they did so with a budget that did not adequately provide basic things for their guests (like chairs and non-diabetic coma causing drinks). The national average for weddings, according to an article I read recently, has ballooned to over $30,000.00. . . Suddenly, I don't feel so bad about the budget Fiance and I came up with. Lol!

IMO that is very wise and forward thinking of your family. I don't buy my kids things like that, it tends to be stuff like new clothes/makeup/video game - things for the here and now. I honestly don't know of anyone who buys future household items for their kids but it sure seems like a wise investment.

My parents usually got us some toys, but my Grandparents would get us clothes and books when we were growing up (they still give us books to this day!) It was a really nice mix because we got some toys we wanted and also more practical items as well; I still have all those books they gave me (in addition to the ones I have bought over the years) so we have a nice start to our future kid's personal library. Only downside was having to move all those books when Fiance and I bought our condo (those things are heavy!) Lol!

I really like the idea of investing in future household items for the kids though. It's very practical and will be a huge help for them - I'll have to wait and see whether that will be a good option for us in the distant future (our priority will be focused more on saving for their college funds).

After I finished college I moved back in with my parents to save money. I would pop into Target and pick up household items I would eventually need when I moved out and my parents (and Fiance's) were nice enough to let us take some furniture with us so we had something to start with. Made the whole moving out transition a lot easier.

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People on that and other forum thread are debating whether Jessa and Ben fooled JB into letting them get married or not, but I personally am convinced JB picked Ben out to be the submissive son in law, a future preacher to continue to be in the cult, live close to mom and dad and follow all the rules. Jessa is a beautiful girl, a fundie princess from a TV show, if JB wanted he could have found someone of the likes of Tim Tebow for her but he didnt. I honestly dont believe Ben is that drop dead gorgeous that Jessa just wanted to jump his bones and pushed JB to marry them. I believe daddy played the matchmaker because he is a control freak and would rather have a yesman to toe his line as a son in law, instead of actually helping his daughter find a proper provider and a mature man. The bility to control for him is actually more important than his daughters financial security.

Exactly! JB wants naive yes men for his pretty princesses. Ben will definitely toe the line. Derick? Well, I still have some hope that he's not that stupid, but that hope keeps dwindling.

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Exactly! JB wants naive yes men for his pretty princesses. Ben will definitely toe the line. Derick? Well, I still have some hope that he's not that stupid, but that hope keeps dwindling.

JB is making it clear that if you start dating there is a countdown clock to putting a ring on it. He can only control a courting relationship for so long before it just becomes inconvenient to constantly work out chaperones etc. Plus, in this day and age, their court ritual is ridiculous. However, the Duggars have always known that side hugs and hand sex were gonna be their pre-marriage ritual. But a guy going into it... was Ben's plan to court so chastely? They've kept both Shaggy's and Bin's past relationship experience quiet. But those are some HARSH courtship rules. But maybe going into it, you don't realize how crazy this side hug mumbo jumbo is...and you really do like this person. However, once in it, ug it's irritating and you know that this isn't the norm. You should've at least been to 2nd base by now.

You're getting lots of attention from the outside world suddenly, and except for the wake & bake eyes and the sometimes Amishy facial hair, Bin's cute (& some may even like those characteristics). Imagine how much his stock would've increase as the ex-bf of Jessa Duggar. I can imagine all the silly girls that would start sending him selfies saying Jessa won't do , but I will... so yeah, JB knows he needs to be a closer.

I don't think it's fair to compare Derick and Ben for obedience to JB at this point. Derick makes his own cash and can tell JB to screw off. Ben does not have this luxury and is COMPLETELY DEPENDENT on JB. All money Ben gets is via JB. His home and his job are JB dependent.

And btw, in the beginning of their relationship didn't the Duggars always say Ben is so kind and sweet which is a good balance to Jessa's personality. So yeah, he'll rollover for bitchy Jessa.

Whatever happened to Ben's Windshield repair business? Don't the residents of the greater Springdale area need windshield repair? It's a flexible-- his office is truck and his business line is the ol cellphone. Couldn't he work both as JBs bitch and as independent windshield repairer?

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/quote]

I don't think it's fair to compare Derick and Ben for obedience to JB at this point. Derick makes his own cash and can tell JB to screw off. Ben does not have this luxury and is COMPLETELY DEPENDENT on JB. All money Ben gets is via JB. His home and his job are JB dependent.

And btw, in the beginning of their relationship didn't the Duggars always say Ben is so kind and sweet which is a good balance to Jessa's personality. So yeah, he'll rollover for bitchy Jessa.

Whatever happened to Ben's Windshield repair business? Don't the residents of the greater Springdale area need windshield repair? It's a flexible-- his office is truck and his business line is the ol cellphone. Couldn't he work both as JBs bitch and as independent windshield repairer?

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Oh my gosh, I am going to agree with Jim Bob on one thing. Hold me, I'm scared. I agree that it is very expensive to put 19 kids through college, at least real college. That is why most people don't have 19 kids. I was going to say impossible, but I think it would be very, very difficult, but not impossible. Have to cut out the planes and such, as all here have mentioned.

I think there are two other reasons that college is a not an option. Kids will be out from under his influence in the evil world. I also believe that he is threatened. If the kids go to college they will learn Jim Bob is probably only slightly brighter than a houseplant. No offense to houseplants.

ETA: I believe it was a Christian doctor that told them about birth control and miscarriages. If a Priest said it to them, they might have run the opposite direction, 'cause you know those evil Priests (Duggar's beliefs). People also wonder if this story was entirely true.

I think Nellie meant "pastor" but used priest (understandably, since English isn't her first language and the difference between the words is pretty subtle).
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No, he hasn't provided his daughters with a permanent home. He said that Jill and Shaggy can live in HIS property until he sells it. I don't know about Jessa and her manchild, but to Jill and Shaggy he said: welcome to your TEMPORARY home. So I cannot give him that. What, a few months of living rent-free while his pregnant daughter keeps the show going on and the cash rolling in for him? That's balaned! They are also under JB's thumb, at his mercy, stripped of their privacy, having a TV birth, and having all kinds of strangers broadcasting their lives. All that for a house that they do not own, and they will have to move out of. What generosity, really.

OMG Shaggy I LOVE IT

:cracking-up: :cracking-up: :cracking-up: :worship: :worship: :worship:

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Derrick is not a bad looking guy when his beard is shaved and his hair combed right. In the episode where he asked Jill to court him he actually looked kinda cute.

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I personally don't mind the scruffy look at all on Derrick, but it would be interesting to see him completely clean-shaven with a tight short hair cut. He'd probably look like a million bucks.

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I interpreted Shaggy this way:

299px-Shaggy_Rogers.jpg

Bahahahaha. Omg. YESSSSS!!!

:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:

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Traditionally the bride's father pays for the wedding. That's not always possible, so it's happening less and less. Regarding your other comments, the family falls more and more away from their original values and intentions the more famous they become and the more money they have.

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To OP I get why the hypocrisy and agree with you on funding the kids college education but that isn't to be. Some brides families in this country still pay for the wedding outright but a lot of beginning to move away from that tradition as it cost so much to host a real wedding (not the Duggar type). Some are splitting cost, some are doing smaller weddings and a good number are doing the going away to wed route (Vegas, Hawaii, Disney, etc.).

The daughters weddings weren't your normal run of the mill American wedding by any standard. JB&M provided the needed basics for those weddings and emphasized that the ceremony is the most important. To me the most expense that was bought was probably the wedding dresses. The flowers and decorations looked to be put together by family/friends or volunteers as well as the few foods/snacks provided (believe they had popcorn, brownies, ice cream, etc.). It looks like JB paid for all the bridesmaid dresses and maybe the outfits his sons wore if they stood in the wedding. He had to pay for the unique invitations sent out in the hundreds but spared the cost of the photoshoots as Jinger did that part with Josh helping out on the Invites. Rental of the church would also be a bit of cost but I figure that those 2 weddings may have had a budget of around $10K each. They don't have to worry about hiring media as TLC provides the taping and probably some photography with it. I was shocked to see that Jessa and Ben had lived about a month from what I could tell out of a hotel before moving into Mary's renovated house. The renovations on that house cost more than the wedding. The honeymoon cost were probably just under 10K. This was a unique wedding experience and fairly different from most American weddings.

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I say we just rename that thread to "Duggar hypocrisies". Things that Duggars say but never do or when they contradict themselves. Here are a few examples:

- saying that you cant afford sending all of your kids to college but paying for pricey weddings

- worrying about modesty, covering the collarbone and such while giving birth on TV and talking about your health problems/labour with the rest of the world

- saying that your kids make their own choices but pushing them in that direction and letting them know that you will be disappointed if they dont follow your beliefs

- saying that a man must be a provider than having an uneducated teenager marry your daughter....

I could go on and on....

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I was brought up with the idea that the brides family paid for the wedding but the grooms family paid for the alcohol. We didn't have alcohol at the reception so our parents split the cost instead. I had never heard of a rehearsal dinner until I saw J&As wedding, then came to FJ.

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I was brought up with the idea that the brides family paid for the wedding but the grooms family paid for the alcohol. We didn't have alcohol at the reception so our parents split the cost instead. I had never heard of a rehearsal dinner until I saw J&As wedding, then came to FJ.

I've never heard of groom family paying for the alcohol. I am tho accustomed to rehearsal dinners which include family, wedding party, and out of town guests that you're close to or have weaselled their way into it.

Something else I haven't heard of? Using volunteers.

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A wedding without Alcohol...

...that just doesn't make sense!

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A wedding without Alcohol...

...that just doesn't make sense!

MrMiggy doesn't drink because he doesn't like the taste of any alcoholic drinks. I don't drink because it interferes with my epilepsy meds. We had the option of using our church hall for the reception for free but the condition was that we couldn't serve alcohol. As neither of us drank, it seemed like a really good choice. Stuff everybody else - it was our day! Plenty of dancing though! :lol:

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MrMiggy doesn't drink because he doesn't like the taste of any alcoholic drinks. I don't drink because it interferes with my epilepsy meds. We had the option of using our church hall for the reception for free but the condition was that we couldn't serve alcohol. As neither of us drank, it seemed like a really good choice. Stuff everybody else - it was our day! Plenty of dancing though! :lol:

Funny that you say that, I don't drink either.

I'm not married but there's a huge drinking culture where I live - I don't really know all that different.

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