Mrs. Pecan Thief gives up sleep for her man!

[whoviana]

I agree that she is a good person, she has genuine goodness in her. I just wish she had had a different upbringing so that she wouldn't be totally brainwashed into that crap... She is good with people, good to people, she could have had a very fulfilling life in the secular world.

[Peas n carrots]

The Pecan Heist...one of FJ's great moments.

If you watch videos of Pris NOT with David (there are ones of her and Anna chatting out there) her speech issues are dramatically less prevalent. I tend to think that she is nervous in her videos with Davey and what is really only a slight issue gets magnified 10x on film. I feel for the poor gal :cry:

[nokidsmom]

Whatever the reason why, David was forced into a marriage with a woman he does not find sexually (or perhaps otherwise) attractive. That is a terrible situation that inevitably leads to a lot of pain and unmet needs on both ends, and instead of confronting the people and things that got him in this situation (his parents, his employer, his twisted faith) he is (IMHO) clearly taking it out on the person least likely to fight back: his wife.

This is what I think is at the heart of the matter as well. David was clearly forced into marriage, his story on their joint blog clearly shows a young man who did not want to get married. I found reading his story rather tortuous, seeing how he was pushed into it by his parents and it's also clear he did a lot of talking and rationalizing himself into it. I still strongly feel he chose Pris because she was an available single woman and also he knew her already. Maybe he convinced himself that because he already knew her, instead of courting a total stranger, it would work. Therefore the whole "love is a choice" statement.

He's finding it's not working for him and the idea that he is now stuck in this marriage for the remainder of his life is a bleak prospect.

He should confront his parents, his employer, his faith and to some degree even himself. But it's going to be easier to blame Pris just as many people blame their spouse for things that are not of their own making. The confusion in Pris is evident.

[formergothardite]

How did Kendalyn make it clear? That's so interesting to me, that she wanted out and was pressured to go through with it. Is that a rumor or was it in print? Wasn't she the one who gave up a nursing career, or college of some sort?

Yes, Kendalyn wanted to go into the medical field. She took correspondence courses and had her heart set on being single and serving the Lord in an ATI approved medical field. Her parents didn't agree and shipped her off to the ALERT training center to teach Bible studies to teen girls/women who were there. She eventually came to terms with doing that, but then she had three courtship offers. She was grateful she didn't have to choose which one to marry because God had already chosen the guy. When her father decided that Robert was the one, she apparently wasn't really into him and questioned this decision:

Due to struggles of keeping my heart guarded and trying to stay under my Dad and where he was leading, I was emotionally drained from my lack of faith and trying to take matters into my own hands, even daring to question my heavenly Father’s direction and giving up when times got tough.

It is so sad that she felt like it was a sin to make decisions about her life, especially a decision as important as marriage.

When it came to Robert, it sounds like he would never really drop the courtship and she just eventually gave up and decided that she loved him. She is another woman who feels like she is undeserving of being loved. :cry:

But despite my tiredness, emotional drain, and slight disinterest, Robert patiently won my heart . . . by letting me go. He never pushed, never insisted, never demanded, but phoned regularly, listened as I talked, shared from the wisdom and experience in his life, and covered me in prayer. Before too long, I was in love and wondering how the Lord brought such a man into a life that was so undeserving

She also talks about "crying out to God" over the decision to marry Robert. They got engaged five weeks after they started courting.

Robert, on the other hand, was infatuated with Kendalyn from the second he saw her.

[Mellanya]

If you watch videos of Pris NOT with David (there are ones of her and Anna chatting out there) her speech issues are dramatically less prevalent. I tend to think that she is nervous in her videos with Davey and what is really only a slight issue gets magnified 10x on film. I feel for the poor gal :cry:

Oh I totally I agree it could be nervousness and/or emotional issues due to the situation. She does seem a lot less distressed when in a video with Anna. She probably has to apologize for days when David has to redo the filming cause she said something in a way he didn't like or something like that.

[Idolatry]

Meh, the first video I saw of her was her and Anna. I think Anna finished a sentence or two. The contrast is stark, and Anna is no Shakespeare.

That's why I hate snarking on the poor girl.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Yes, Kendalyn wanted to go into the medical field. She took correspondence courses and had her heart set on being single and serving the Lord in an ATI approved medical field. Her parents didn't agree and shipped her off to the ALERT training center to teach Bible studies to teen girls/women who were there. She eventually came to terms with doing that, but then she had three courtship offers. She was grateful she didn't have to choose which one to marry because God had already chosen the guy. When her father decided that Robert was the one, she apparently wasn't really into him and questioned this decision:

Due to struggles of keeping my heart guarded and trying to stay under my Dad and where he was leading, I was emotionally drained from my lack of faith and trying to take matters into my own hands, even daring to question my heavenly Father’s direction and giving up when times got tough.

It is so sad that she felt like it was a sin to make decisions about her life, especially a decision as important as marriage.

When it came to Robert, it sounds like he would never really drop the courtship and she just eventually gave up and decided that she loved him. She is another woman who feels like she is undeserving of being loved. :cry:

But despite my tiredness, emotional drain, and slight disinterest, Robert patiently won my heart . . . by letting me go. He never pushed, never insisted, never demanded, but phoned regularly, listened as I talked, shared from the wisdom and experience in his life, and covered me in prayer. Before too long, I was in love and wondering how the Lord brought such a man into a life that was so undeserving

She also talks about "crying out to God" over the decision to marry Robert. They got engaged five weeks after they started courting.

Robert, on the other hand, was infatuated with Kendalyn from the second he saw her.

It is important to remember that these girls are CAREFULLY TAUGHT that they CANNOT pick the right man because they are not WISE like their father. It's really sad.

[Kak]

It is important to remember that these girls are CAREFULLY TAUGHT that they CANNOT pick the right man because they are not WISE like their father. It's really sad.

Kendalyn strikes me as an intelligent person, which is why I think she had such trouble accepting the path laid out for her. I think she has also put huge effort into living the way she feels she should, following the rules laid out for her. I think that must be quite a struggle.

I also get the impression she is a good mum, and may even be a good homeschooler.

Their 3rd child is due at the beginning of April.

[Coco]

Thanks for the explanation. That's terrible that her parents (esp. her dad) wouldn't let her live her true dream. Fundies let so much talent go to waste just because it happens to be a woman who is blessed with it.

Of course, i mean nothing against the choice to be a wife/mom etc, but honestly we all know some things have to be put on the backburner by the woman to make that lifestyle work well esp. in such a restrictive patriarchal culture as Gothardism.

[whoviana]

Of course, i mean nothing against the choice to be a wife/mom etc, but honestly we all know some things have to be put on the backburner by the woman to make that lifestyle work well esp. in such a restrictive patriarchal culture as Gothardism.

Since we have all seen those fundie mothers' cooking and housekeeping skills, including anna's latest video where she whips out frozen biscuits and tells that they consume so much preservatives that they will probably around for a long time, :ew: I think you haven't offended anyone or anything in those circles. Looks like the only thing they are good at is laying back and getting pregnant.

[Dandruff]

I thought Kendalyn had wanted to go to a non-Gothard med school and her dad said no, so she ended up in a Gothard-approved health care program. Believe it was all or mostly online. She then got called to work for Gothard, the three guys (who were the other two?) got in touch with her dad, and dad chose Robert.

What major life decisions has she, or really any other of the women in the same circle, been able to make for herself? And after decades of decisions being made by a woman's father and then (generally) husband, do these women tend to lose the inclination and ability to decide?

[Luisainlondon1]

Do we know how old Kendalyn was when she married? I ask because she wrote that for ten years no man approached her dad about courting her and she thought she ends up as a single. She must have been in her late twenties when she began courting.

I hope she's happy now and doesn't ask herself how her life could have been if she had pursued her dreams.

[Coco]

Since we have all seen those fundie mothers' cooking and housekeeping skills, including anna's latest video where she whips out frozen biscuits and tells that they consume so much preservatives that they will probably around for a long time, :ew: I think you haven't offended anyone or anything in those circles. Looks like the only thing they are good at is laying back and getting pregnant.

So true! It's crazy that many of the famous fundies, esp. the ones trying to sell that lifestyle to mainstream Christians, are mediocre at homemaking skills, what they claim to make their life's work. Good grief, it actually could be marketable skills if they invested their time into perfecting what they do. Nothing to snark about being an excellent from-scratch cook, gardener or seamstress.

i bet they aren't even very good at the actual... "act of marriage" either, not being able to study it or practice it. :lol: No Redbook or detailed romance novels for them. Although my sister was in fundie-land a lot longer than me and she said women had discussions at Bible study about the benefits to their hubbies of Kegels. :shock: Um, not a discussion i want to have with my pastor's wife... ever. :embarrassed:

[Kak]

If I could commission a reality show it would be set in IBLP headquarters and would follow the lives of the fundies we know who work there; the Staddons, the Wallers, Adam & Valerie Waller, maybe a future Brandon & Micheala. Not an exposee, just general day to day stuff. I think it'd be so interesting, David and Robert interacting (not a euphemism), Kendalyn trying to converse with Priscilla etc.

[whoviana]

Yes, the "act of marriage" itself... by the time I found the man I lost my virginity to, there had been 8 years of thorough love literature studying behind me. Those few ex boyfriends of mine still keep praising me about my... um... skills. Those were 51 shades of all colors that we did. I stole all kinds of ideas from books. This one time I asked one of them to prepare a mug of mint tea for me. WTF, right? Grandma stuff, having a mug of mint tea @ sexytime. I would let them obey disappointedly. Then I showed them what a mug of hot and tingly tea does to the mouth. :dance: They were like were the **** did you learn that? Learn what? I was just asking for some tea, after all... :whistle: None of them believed that I wasn't a professional hooker or that I only had 1-2 partners before them.

[nataraja]

I thought Kendalyn had wanted to go to a non-Gothard med school and her dad said no, so she ended up in a Gothard-approved health care program. Believe it was all or mostly online. She then got called to work for Gothard, the three guys (who were the other two?) got in touch with her dad, and dad chose Robert.

What major life decisions has she, or really any other of the women in the same circle, been able to make for herself? And after decades of decisions being made by a woman's father and then (generally) husband, do these women tend to lose the inclination and ability to decide?

Kendalyn never got the job she wholeheartedly wanted to do and she is married to a man who is in love with someone else. (I am sure that Robert and David belong together they are a "match made in heaven.") Nonetheless Kendalyn and everybody around her seams to think that she is leading the life god wants her to live. I don't think so.

[Nellie]

guys please help. Im new to the forum and I have no idea how to start my own topic. I have a question about the Duggars that I wanted to ask you. can plz anyone send me a link? sorry for off topic

[whoviana]

women had discussions at Bible study about the benefits to their hubbies of Kegels. :shock: Um, not a discussion i want to have with my pastor's wife... ever. :embarrassed:

:roll: Who'da thunk! Women were educated on what benefits the males... FFS! Did they discuss the technique of making a woman have a squirting orgasm? Let me guess, they did not.

[Palimpsest]

guys please help. Im new to the forum and I have no idea how to start my own topic. I have a question about the Duggars that I wanted to ask you. can plz anyone send me a link? sorry for off topic

Hello and welcome to FJ, Nellie.

Here is a link to the FJ FAQ. Go to "how to post a new topic" and follow instructions.

faq.php#f2r0

We used to have a rule that new members had to have a certain number of posts before they were allowed to post new topics. I think that was rescinded, but just in case you have problems . . .

Just find a Duggar thread - any Duggar thread - and ask your question there. The Duggar threads are pretty active and we have no problems with people going off topic at Free Jinger.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I didn't know that Robert and Kendalyn were having another baby. I cant wait to see what name they are going to curse their child with this time. Sauntina is a terrible name.

[Dandruff]

I didn't know that Robert and Kendalyn were having another baby. I cant wait to see what name they are going to curse their child with this time. Sauntina is a terrible name.

I think their second child is Marilee. No idea what a third daughter might be named, since they've presumably used their two favorites already. I'm inclined to believe they'd give a boy a more traditional name, but Kendalyn's brothers - if I remember correctly - have rather unique ones.

[Odd1Out]

I think the part where Pris points out its ' not a romantic love' tells all. I think they've learned to get along, although Pris is always trying to please David and he seems annoyed with her. They're trying their best to play their parts in their Gothard world and just get thru it. But I doubt they have ever felt romance between them. Sad.

[Coco]

:roll: Who'da thunk! Women were educated on what benefits the males... FFS! Did they discuss the technique of making a woman have a squirting orgasm? Let me guess, they did not.

i was just shocked the fundie ladies even knew what kegels were about. Practice makes progress i guess. :lol: I almost asked my sister what else they talked about when that was mentioned but since she was still fundie at the time, i just couldn't go there.

ot/i studied this too on the sly as a teenager but i felt VERY guilty about it. Talk about blushing through novels. lol It's a shame that couples have to fumble through all of this together, when it could be the most fun they've ever had. The mint tea thing is a good idea. :D

[Antimony]

Call me crazy but I think if the Wallers really wanna show they love each other, David would video about how he let's Pris sleep when she needs it. She said love is providing somebody basic needs without looking for personal gain, right?

But that wouldn't be the fundie patriarchal way.

My girlfriend is asleep right now. Her back is hurting and the script for the pain can knock her out. We'd sure love to be threatening traditional marriage and all but she needs sleep more.

What is wrong with this people. Jeez.

[Hane]

We'd sure love to be threatening traditional marriage and all but she needs sleep more.

Best gay sex euphemism EVAR. Kudos!