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Rep. Harris & wife rehome adopted children Now with Exorcism


ThisOlGirl

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It seems like Harris thinks that all you need to make an adopted child from another country get assimilated is giving him/her a white family with Jesus and money. I bet he doesn't believe in psychology or secular counseling either. When the Jesus and money thing didn't work, he sent the child to some random psycho. How "godly." :evil: :angry-banghead: :pull-hair: :music-tool:

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I fixed the list on the bus for them, to better reflect Harris' views and priorities.

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This just pisses me off. You adopt a child and they are your child. Forever! Even when they don't behave. Even when you can't agree on how to parent them. Even when they have a disorder. They are your child! Stupid ass fundies.

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They treat these children like furniture- oh, I don't like that anymore, let's get rid of it. It doesn't fit in our lives any more. Put it on Craigslist. Are you f-ing kidding me?

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They treat these children like furniture- oh, I don't like that anymore, let's get rid of it. It doesn't fit in our lives any more. Put it on Craigslist. Are you f-ing kidding me?

Some of the ones in the Reuters article are truly incredible. One of them was a post about rehoming a 4.5 year old they adopted at 3 weeks. Like, they should never be rehoming kids but that is so much their kid for so long. If that kid is unruly, they can't even blame it on previous adoptions, that's all on them. I can't deal with it.

One of them rehomed a kid they had had for 11 years.

I cannot even begin to imagine how or why.

Seriously, the reuters article is long but worth it but also really sickening.

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So. . .they adopted a deeply troubled child from foster care, where she had been placed after being sexually assaulted by someone in her biological family, and gave her and her sister six months to shape up and act nice? I hope Satan has a special place for these people.

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

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Jesus, it should be a requirement that these parents take courses preparing them that they should expect hardship and complete selfless service to raise the little ones to adulthood. If parenting the children is easier than expected, great. If it's the hardest thing they've ever done, well they should expect that from the beginning. It isn't about the parents getting a hobby or trying to raise their ideal imaginary kid. It's about redeeming - saving a disadvantaged little life from being wasted by tragedy. God, i can't believe they don't expect hardship. Of course these little ones are needy and traumatized. They're like little trampled plants that have to be nursed back to health. I hope those awful "parents" get visited by karma.

i don't know if i believe in what passes for the Christian God anymore, but i believe in this verse: "A bruised reed he will not break" Is. 42:3

and this one: "He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners... to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve... to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks..." Is. 61

Religion is a crapshoot, but sometimes what sacred texts say (in any religion) can be inspiring, and these are in the Bible. Why can't these people who pretend to live a life of love use those verses to lay down their lives sacrificially for these children? Most adoptive parents are wonderful, and hopefully the rehoming or trafficking parents are rare. Poor babies. I wish i had the strength to foster. My limits are WAY below what i wish i could handle. I'm not as strong as i wish i were and it's not as easy as i expected for me to be a selfless mom to the two that i have. (partly due to my hubby being emotionally needy and basically a big kid himself right now, i love him but wow, it's tough sometimes. He had a really difficult childhood himself and i think he's still recovering) But i've got the patience for two, and we give them a good childhood. One of these days i hope i can be a foster mom. But i expect it to be the most difficult, heartbreaking thing ever. It sure as hell shouldn't be a temporary hobby until the little ones get to preteen age or exhibit difficult ptsd traits. Once you agree to be their parent, they are part of you forever. It's about gently raising the child in the best way, whatever the child needs to become healthy and whole.

sorry for the rant. i hope Justin Harris gets punished somehow for this. A lawmaker and leader should have educated himself enough to know what he was signing up for by taking on a child to raise. He should have done the right thing, not the easy thing.

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Jesus, it should be a requirement that these parents take courses preparing them that they should expect hardship and complete selfless service to raise the little ones to adulthood.

I don't know about Arkansas, but in my state, Washington, it is a requirement that foster/adopt families take just such courses. I took them 30 years ago, and my daughter just finished them a few weeks ago. She said they were run by experienced, no bs, foster and adoptive parents who didn't sugarcoat.

However, given Washington's lousy record for providing safe homes for DSHS adopted kids (check the Pound Puppies website for horrifying examples), it seems clear that taking the classes and taking the teachings to heart are two different things.

When we were adopting, we were told that a rough gauge is to expect 6 months of tough times for every year the child has lived outside your home. We were also told to understand that a child adopted after preschool age might never fully bond, that the relationship may forever be less close and more difficult than with someone you've raised since infancy. This is a child and not a campaign prop. You commit to being the best parent you can--period.

I do know adoptive families for whom that best parenting decision for a particular child turned out to be disrupting the adoption and working with DSHS to find a placement that is better suited. Some children simply cannot handle the emotional intensity of family life and need a more structured situation. Some children's longterm behaviors turn out to be not just difficult, but frankly dangerous for other children in the home. There are some situations where the best possible outcome isn't all that good, given the damage already done. [insert rant about the raggedy social safety net here.]

Having said all that, this Arkansas fool seemed to be surprised by the absolutely predictable fact that honeymoon periods end, that mistreated and distrustful kids will act out and test the commitment of their new parents, and that it will take years of thick-skinned parenting and love as an action verb to become a family together.

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I keep thinking about this story. It makes me feel ill.

And then for this guy to respond as if HE is a victim????

Good news is this terrible case might bring some light on these shady practices. I can't believe this isn't already illegal.

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These people are all awful, but for some reason I'm most horrified by the "parents" of the 14-year-old girl who can't agree on how to raise her and those of the 2-year-old "full Caucasian" boy whose only "crime" is being 2.

I do not understand why these people don't realize that adopting older children in particular might be REALLY, REALLY hard. Is Jesus just supposed to swoop down and solve everything? And if he doesn't, that's the kid's fault, I guess.

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Jesus, it should be a requirement that these parents take courses preparing them that they should expect hardship and complete selfless service to raise the little ones to adulthood. If parenting the children is easier than expected, great. If it's the hardest thing they've ever done, well they should expect that from the beginning. It isn't about the parents getting a hobby or trying to raise their ideal imaginary kid. It's about redeeming - saving a disadvantaged little life from being wasted by tragedy. God, i can't believe they don't expect hardship. Of course these little ones are needy and traumatized. They're like little trampled plants that have to be nursed back to health. I hope those awful "parents" get visited by karma.

i don't know if i believe in what passes for the Christian God anymore, but i believe in this verse: "A bruised reed he will not break" Is. 42:3

and this one: "He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners... to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve... to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks..." Is. 61

Religion is a crapshoot, but sometimes what sacred texts say (in any religion) can be inspiring, and these are in the Bible. Why can't these people who pretend to live a life of love use those verses to lay down their lives sacrificially for these children? Most adoptive parents are wonderful, and hopefully the rehoming or trafficking parents are rare. Poor babies. I wish i had the strength to foster. My limits are WAY below what i wish i could handle. I'm not as strong as i wish i were and it's not as easy as i expected for me to be a selfless mom to the two that i have. (partly due to my hubby being emotionally needy and basically a big kid himself right now, i love him but wow, it's tough sometimes. He had a really difficult childhood himself and i think he's still recovering) But i've got the patience for two, and we give them a good childhood. One of these days i hope i can be a foster mom. But i expect it to be the most difficult, heartbreaking thing ever. It sure as hell shouldn't be a temporary hobby until the little ones get to preteen age or exhibit difficult ptsd traits. Once you agree to be their parent, they are part of you forever. It's about gently raising the child in the best way, whatever the child needs to become healthy and whole.

sorry for the rant. i hope Justin Harris gets punished somehow for this. A lawmaker and leader should have educated himself enough to know what he was signing up for by taking on a child to raise. He should have done the right thing, not the easy thing.

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This is what needs to go viral, in addition to the cat thing, etc. This is just horrible and the fact that the Duggars campaigned and associated with this man is shameful. Even if they didn't know this information, at this point, they need to come clean and withdraw their support for this person.

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The couple who adopted a boy at three weeks old who now has Reactive Attachment Disorder at four-and-a-half? How the fuck does that happen? (Or, more pointedly, how the fuck does that happen if they were raising him in a stable family with access to whatever supports he needs? Because RAD doesn't just magically appear merely because the child was adopted - especially when he was nearly a newborn when the adoption took place.)

And then there's the couple giving away a child because they cannot agree how to parent. In their case, my advice is that they never both to try "parenting" again since they are so bad at it.

So marriage is a covenant that must last forever, but adoptions can be done and undone for reasons as idiotic is that a child who is two acts his age.

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So marriage is a covenant that must last forever, but adoptions can be done and undone for reasons as idiotic is that a child who is two acts his age.

You nailed it!

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Interesting how those who trumpet family values so loudly are so willing to abandon innocent children with little care for where they end up or what becomes of them.

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This has been all over the local news and has spurred the filing of AR bills in regards to rehoming. The people of AR do not appear to be very sympathetic to Harris at this time. Also, Harris is going to have a press conference about the matter at 3:30 today.

http://talkbusiness.net/2015/03/capitol ... in-senate/

Good-- I hope this spurs some real change in AR (and hopefully throughout the nation) in regards to rehoming children.

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I hope it changes the adoption landscape, too.

I still can't get over using the term "rehoming" when referring to human children. They're not pets, they're PEOPLE, and getting rid of them when they don't do what you want shouldn't be as easy as going online and finding someone who will take them.

My roommate and I cared for a dog for a few months last summer/early fall, and tried everything we could to make her happy -- but his cat hated the poor dog, and she has SERIOUS separation anxiety. She would bite her crate when no humans were around and would try to assert dominance with the cats. We weren't the family she deserved, so we found them -- and she's a happy, happy girl now. She has another dog to play and snuggle with and a stay-at-home human. It took several weeks for us to find her family, but we were willing to keep her until we found them -- because she's a living animal with feelings and needs.

It amazes me that these people don't even put that much effort in. They'll just pass children off to whoever will take them soonest. The Reuters article is heartbreaking and infuriating.

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I hope it changes the adoption landscape, too.

I still can't get over using the term "rehoming" when referring to human children. They're not pets, they're PEOPLE, and getting rid of them when they don't do what you want shouldn't be as easy as going online and finding someone who will take them.

My roommate and I cared for a dog for a few months last summer/early fall, and tried everything we could to make her happy -- but his cat hated the poor dog, and she has SERIOUS separation anxiety. She would bite her crate when no humans were around and would try to assert dominance with the cats. We weren't the family she deserved, so we found them -- and she's a happy, happy girl now. She has another dog to play and snuggle with and a stay-at-home human. It took several weeks for us to find her family, but we were willing to keep her until we found them -- because she's a living animal with feelings and needs.

It amazes me that these people don't even put that much effort in. They'll just pass children off to whoever will take them soonest. The Reuters article is heartbreaking and infuriating.

I actually like to use the word "rehoming" because to me, it highlights that these people are treating their children like animals. The Reuters article is just awful. :( I understand that some of these people feel like they are at their wit's end because adoption, especially of older children who have been in the foster system or are adjusting the an entirely new culture, is often difficult for everyone involved, even when adoption was the best option for the child. Rehoming the child is inexcusable, though. And those parents rehoming children after a few weeks? Or after years when they've had the child since s/he was an infant? That's just fucking sociopathic.

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Oh for heaven's sake, FJers. You're missing the point entirely. These people aren't abandoning their children. No no no. It's god's plan, doncha know. Isn't everything? Speaking against them is the work of the devil!

I take better care of my compost pile than these idiots do of their precious blessings. Jesus wept, indeed. :cry:

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This just pisses me off. You adopt a child and they are your child. Forever! Even when they don't behave. Even when you can't agree on how to parent them. Even when they have a disorder. They are your child! Stupid ass fundies.

I am not defending these people in any way, shape, or form, but let me tell you a story from my own life.

Mr. Four and I, after two adoptions resulting in infant males, whom we love with all our hearts, agreed that we'd also love a daughter. So the only way to get a daughter for sure is to get one already born. We applied to DSS to take the Foster to Adopt program. After a long time, they found for us a 20 month old girl. The parental rights weren't terminated yet, but they expected it to be fairly easy. We'd asked for a fairly low risk adoption, because our boys were young and we didn't know if they'd understand if she didn't live with us permanently.

At the first phone call, my heart reacted in the same way I think an expectant mother does when she hears the "Congratulations! You're pregnant!" remark the first time. I was excited, I was hopeful, I was in love with this child whom I'd never laid eyes on yet.. and committed to her welfare.

The child was placed with us. She lived with us for two years. During that time, we found out many things about her home situation. Prior to living with us, this 20 month old child had lived in ELEVEN other homes, with her birth mother, who had a habit of charming families, asking if they'd take her in "while she got on her feet" and then doing nothing, until the families tossed her out again. This child had no diagnosed psych problems when she entered our home, but when she left, she was diagnosed as schizophrenic, with PTSD, and PDD-NOS. She could tolerate NO change in her routine. I mean, if I put her left sock on before I put the right sock on, she'd fling herself down and bang her head, so great was her need for routine. We spent hours massaging her thigh and arm muscles, a way of calming her. If I stopped at the grocery store instead of going straight home from the boys' soccer practice, she couldn't cope. EVERY TIME she saw us packing, and we love to go camping, she went into a complete frenzy and did not sleep until we were back home from our trip. Have you ever tried to relax with a child who bangs her head all night in the same room with you on a "vacation"? (IN a padded pack and play, ok? not banging against wood or hard surface)

The stress was great upon me and Mr. Four, but the boys felt it as well. They both tried so hard to soothe her, and take the pressure off of us. Our marriage suffered. Our boys suffered.

One visit with her birth mother, supervised, resulted in a six month period where the child uttered not a word. Not. a. Word. after that visit.

We took her to psychiatrists, to child therapists, to physical and play therapists. We spent our own and the social service resources on this child. We loved her. Even though the adoption hadn't gone through, because parental rights weren't terminated, we were committed to her as if she were ours, because it's what one does.

Finally, after several long talks with Mr. Four and our boys and our social workers, we regretfully relinquished our hoped-for daughter to Social Services, who found a childless couple, who had very flexible working hours, who could be home with her at all times. While we knew this placement would be the best possible thing for the child, we both felt so guilty that we had "failed" her.

We grieved for nearly three years, and refused all possible placements for two and a half. It was only by the grace of God that Mr. Four answered the phone the day the social worker called with a possible placement of a boy and his sister.. and said he thought we could.(I probably would have refused.) Thirteen years later, today is my third son's 20th birthday, and my daughter is 18.

I just want to say that re-homing is necessary at times. It should be, and was for us, a horrifying, painful, and tearful, prayerful process, and we worked with authorities and resources throughout the entire process. All I have left of that girl is a scrapbook that still makes me cry.

I will also say this. Your child IS your child. You stand by them. All Four have been in trouble with the law, from minor skirmishes to jail trouble. You love them and support them because they are your children. I certainly agree with that.

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Oh for heaven's sake, FJers. You're missing the point entirely. These people aren't abandoning their children. No no no. It's god's plan, doncha know. Isn't everything? Speaking against them is the work of the devil!

I take better care of my compost pile than these idiots do of their precious blessings. Jesus wept, indeed. :cry:

:worship: :worship: :worship: :clap: :clap: :clap:

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