Rules for Dating My Christian Daughter (MERGED)

[nelliebelle1197]

My dad got some serious stink eye more than once in the feminine supplies aisle of the supermarket for being there and reading boxes of pads/tampons against the list he had from us. We all had different preferences so you would have this gorilla sized man in reading glasses in the trying to make sure he was getting the right stuff, and a woman or two keeping an eye on the perv. :lol:

I helped a guy at Target once find something for his girlfriend, poor fellow.

I will likely have to have all the talks with my son because my husband just won't be able to that. People are far too defined by what is appropriate based on societal constructs of gender. I think that is bull. My daughter wants play with swords and trucks and my son has his own nail polish because that is what they like. My friends' daughter, knowing her as I do, would rather have her dads buy her training bra and her products. They are her parents. I and other women are on call for them to answer questions and support them, ut Dads will be doing the talking as both their girls hit puberty. It's not the body parts someone has, as the dads who reared these great women here prove, but the parent. Period (ha!).

[GolightlyGrrl]

Crazy Christian Dad=Murderous Unsub from "Criminal Minds"

[Walking Cat Bed]

My dad got some serious stink eye more than once in the feminine supplies aisle of the supermarket for being there and reading boxes of pads/tampons against the list he had from us. We all had different preferences so you would have this gorilla sized man in reading glasses in the trying to make sure he was getting the right stuff, and a woman or two keeping an eye on the perv. :lol:

Yeah, if I saw a man in Target with a list looking at specific packages of products (or just standing there looking confused) I'd ask if they needed help finding the brand/type needed -- and suggest multipacks if they didn't know specific needs. Because it's better to have extra of something that nobody in the house uses than not enough of what's needed. (I always put the spares in the "guest" bathroom space or donated them.)

[FundieFarmer]

My dad and my mom both gave me "The Talk", and for each it was completely different. My mom's was terrifying and my dad's was what made me comfortable with the natural nature of things. I think it's fine for dads to be involved- often they're the first substantial male relationship a girl has and it can really shape her understanding of the male brain. I owe a lot to my dad for his frank depiction of how guys think. But Like WalkingCatBed, my mother declared tampons a major no- god forbid they made me less of a virgin. Parents of either gender can do plenty of damage.

[Chowder Head]

I am in early 30's and have never received the talk. Still waiting... Thank goodness I like to read. Only reason I knew what period was when I got it in 4th grade is because the school just introduced the now your growing up video or such. I use to teach a few girls years ago that their mom only gave them a pad a day. Thankfully the school I worked at made it a point to always have stuff on hand .

[keen23]

I got a quick scientific talk from my Mom, about how babies are made, when I was 11 and she was pregnant with my brother. Then, I got my period the next year, and got handed a box of pads, a box of regular flow tampons, and a couple brochures.

Virginity was never valued. There were no expectations of virgin until marriage, sex only in marriage, etc. I knew my parents lived together before they got married. My Mom was pretty open about being pro-choice and pro-birth control. I was allowed to date, but if I was going to be in a car with a boy, they had to meet him first. I had no curfews, but had to come home at some point (and I found out that "some point" generally meant not coming in at 6 AM when my Mom was going out to work). My boyfriend wasn't allowed to stay over until we had our own place (at 20), but my brothers both had girlfriends that lived with my parents (and my youngest brother's girlfriend lived with them her senior year of high school- she was already 18 at that point and her house was intolerable). I got on the Pill at 17, and never had to hide it. My parents suspected it was very obviously for contraception and not for other reasons.

[nataraja]

Oh the obsession with a daughter's virginity! My mom super creeped me out growing up when she'd discuss sex with me. Well, discuss isn't the word really, more like natter on awkwardly until she got around to the topic of virginity and how men are disgusting. Then, she was on a roll. Then it went back to awkward. After a while, when she figured out I was tuning her out and mindlessly saying "uh huh", she decided to give me books. Which was interesting because the books never matched her discussion points. I was 10 when I first got my period and she gave a book that taught and celebrated menstruation. My mom's verbal version was "it's hell and a reminder that childbirth is horrible". Although she did want to throw me a party with her friends, with cake. I said no. Then came the a cheerful children's book about where babies come from, that had a lot of drawings of genitalia and celebrating sex as perfectly healthy and wonderful. I already knew about sex because kids talk. My mom's verbal version was "men like this, go figure, but that's how a woman gets pregnant. You just gotta put up with it.". I was totally shocked when my mom gave me a copy of "Our body Ourselves" when I was 15 years old. I'd already read it at the library so it was completely against the grain of my mom's most recent tirade against human sexuality, as in "men are pigs" and "stay clean". It's amazing I'm normal.

Is your mom on tumblr?

(I apologize if this post came of as inappropriate but after spending a lot of time on the feminist side of tumblr I simply couldn't resist.)

[FaustianSlip]

I don't know whether jezebel.com/just-some-cool-christian-dating-rules-from-a-chill-chri-1687777363 has already been posted, but just in case it hasn't, it was too good not to share. Of course, I don't know what kind of fallen away people date anymore instead of courting, anyway, but still.

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[GotCaughtDancing]

I couldn't stop watching this wondering where it was going to go. His voice and emoting where straight out of a 70's PSA against reefer. :lol: But the best creep factor part is when he talks about it being a great experience and he thinks Danielle is ready and wants her to enjoy it. (Too lazy to quote it exactly). I feel like I've just watched Andy Griffith in Go Ask Alice. :lol:

[nelliebelle1197]

This has been posted before. It is from the 1980s. The daughter and her husband are now in this guy's church I think, as ministers.

[salex]

If this is Jerry Johnston, he and his whole family drove a local mega church into bankruptcy, he lost his ministry and his daughter and son in law have another church on the other side of the state line. Not sure what he's doing now, but probalby preaching somewhere. He had a television ministry, the megachurch and a Black American Express from what the news said, later he had a few straggling attendees in a borrowed school cafeteria.

[tropaka]

All I can think of is how do you put God first on your date, does he get to decide whether you go the library or food court (I can't think of any other two activities more devoid of possible defrauding/lust)?

ETA I wonder if this is where the original definition of defrauding came from - "creating lust that can't "righteously" be satisfied"? or have the Duggar repeated that one? Also, how does a male defraud a female unrighteously?

[Full enough quiver]

My husband talks to our girls about sex. Nothing explicit about their bodies (he lets me handle those discussions) more like, respect yourself, know your boundaries, teenage boys are perverts, I know, because I was one, sort of thing. He's more focused on abstinence and modesty than I am, but not as bad as I would've expected from a fairly conservative middle aged dad. I think it's great when a dad can be open and honest with his daughters and have those talks, but the virginity obsession is just plain creepy.

[FaustianSlip]

But the best creep factor part is when he talks about it being a great experience and he thinks Danielle is ready and wants her to enjoy it. (Too lazy to quote it exactly). I feel like I've just watched Andy Griffith in Go Ask Alice. :lol:

I know, right? And when he says something like, "And I think this rules are the best way to go about it, right?" and the girl has this weirdly uncomfortable look on her face, and she just goes, "... yep."

There's also this gem on satanism:

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