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Has anyone ever attempted to actually...do something?


meganlizzie
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Has anyone ever thought about or attempted to do something to actually help the Duggar children, more specifically Jana or Jinger, to contact them in secret and help them get out if they wish? My heart breaks for Jana who looks like she's on the brink of a breakdown and I just want to help her escape.

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I think the Duggar kids would have no shortage of real, concrete resources if they wanted to leave. They could find a way to make some cash with interviews or even a TV special, and honestly, they could probably rake in a shit ton of money if they just made a fundraising website saying "Help us get out!" Jana has gotten so much media attention that she could probably start a sob story on reddit and have $50,000 in her pocket in a week or less.

But anyway, Jana is a 25 year old woman - I would assume TLC is putting some money into her own account by now, even if she's barely featured on the show anymore.

I think the bigger issue is that they are emotionally and mentally trapped, not financially. Especially someone like Jana who seems very private and introverted. Where would she go? What would she do? I'm not sure someone who is very shy would necessarily be better off with freedom and independence if they were suddenly removed from the people they loved, who made them feel safe. :| That could be terrifying. Maybe someone like Joy could handle it OK. Not as sure about Jana.

It's sad that we have to rely on marriage for them to "get out," but my greatest hope for Jana would be that she just finds a really great, well-matched, supportive partner and moves FAR AWAY for some peace and quiet and privacy. I don't think the kids really "need help" from outside sources. I think they unfortunately just need time to transition into their adult selves and find their own way, to undo the damage.

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I used to think and hope tlc cameramen would intervene somehow and save these kids by taking them aside and talking privately to them about their options in life - but no - won't happen - you'd think tlc would see how a private one on one interview with these kids - talking to them about what options they would have would be a ratings hit - I'm so disappointed no one on the inside has stepped up

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I'm pretty sure Boob and Mullet would have us arrested if any of us attempted contact like that.

Even with Jana as the mail sorter, she is well trained doesn't want to leave the lifestyle so she would flag things like this with her parents.

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I think a lot of us, myself included, want to believe there are kids interested in leaving the lifestyle, but the reality probably is... they don't want to.

Let's face it. There's a lot of them. It wouldn't be that hard for one to "wander off" and not be noticed right away. The older ones aren't really chained to the TTH...They have every ability to walk out that door with their middle fingers held high... they have ample opportunities away from Jim Bob and Michelle to turn to the camera crew and say "GET ME OUT". There's no reason the crew would turn them down.

The only possible exception I see right now is Josiah since he's "missing" a lot. But... that's pretty well documented and could very well be a whole different story.

After seeing Jinger in the newest vid with her and Ben on Jessa's page, my optimism for any of them really making a run is pretty low. If Jinger is the "wild child" and she's that committed.... :?

::Edited to clarify thoughts::

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I'm pretty sure Boob and Mullet would have us arrested if any of us attempted contact like that.

Even with Jana as the mail sorter, she is well trained doesn't want to leave the lifestyle so she would flag things like this with her parents.

Wait what?! You can get arrested if you send a letter to the children with their options and rights in life and a different perspective?

And you can get arrested if you talk to them about their life and different options?

For real?!

Celebrities really do have more rights than "commoners"

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Way back after they finished the TTH and the series started, I wrote them a nice email basically pointing out some of the flawed Christian concepts. Not even a canned response! Of course, I know now it was most likely deleted immediately because these people can't handle one ounce of criticism. That and I am sure they were getting thousands of emails at that time. I wonder if they acknowledge snail "fan" mail in any way...?!?

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I used to think and hope tlc cameramen would intervene somehow and save these kids by taking them aside and talking privately to them about their options in life - but no - won't happen - you'd think tlc would see how a private one on one interview with these kids - talking to them about what options they would have would be a ratings hit - I'm so disappointed no one on the inside has stepped up

Totally agree it won't happen. TLC's strategy is to not get involved. It's like a documentary. It's why even with all the messed up stuff on Jon & Kate +8, Honey Boo Boo and Toddlers & Tiaras... it took actual certified danger for TLC to do anything. They're in the business of selling the train wreck. It has to be really bad for them to do anything. Strange or counter-cultural living doesn't qualify as rescue-worthy, unfortunately. Odd lifestyles are just something to profit from, a circus sideshow of weirdness. They, corporately, don't care about the kids beyond liability and profit margins. Any production person who tried to step into the frame and change the dynamic would probably get fired.

Maybe behind the scenes... here's the card of a social worker i know who helps people get out of cults... maybe that would happen. But the kids would have to initiate it imo. They wouldn't just try to outright rescue them from brainwashing if the kids were 100% steeped in the kool-aid. Maybe they've been taking the approach of helping the kids see the light by years of consistently being an example that non-ATI worldly people can be kind, genuine, and caring.

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My opinion on this probably isn't too popular, but I'll say it anyway:

I doubt that any of those kids are interested in leaving and not just because they were trained to think so. I think that they do have legitimate bonds with one another (or at least a few of their family members). I also think that most, if not all, of these kids honestly believe what they have been taught regarding their faith. They may have some doubts or questions, but I don't think any of them have had thoughts that have risen to the level of wanting to run.

Take Jana for instance. Everyone loves to say that she is on the verge of a breakdown or she looks ready to run out the door. I can understand why she could feel that way - she did spend the majority of her life raising her siblings. However, I don't think she is ready to breakdown or run away. I look at her and see a person who is simply uncomfortable around the cameras, a private person who wants to limit what public exposure she gets. I think she might be frustrated that she is still living with her parents, but that might be more due to the fact that she hasn't found someone she wants to marry - because marriage = adulthood in their culture.

I think a lot of the people here assume a lot about these kids - that Jill absolutely despises higher education, that Jessa is totally going Fundie-Lite, that Jana is going to breakdown, etc. I can't say that I blame people for that either; a lot of you have watched these kids grow up on screen. You want the absolute best that life has to offer for them and want to see them succeed. I think that's normal, but I also think that the simplest answer is usually the correct one - meaning, these kids are believers and none of them have any intention of leaving anytime soon.

If any of them do wind up leaving, it will be one of the younger kids who can't remember or never experience life before TLC - and even then, they'd only leave once the show is over and their parents start limiting their exposure to the outside world. They've gotten to experience things at a younger age than the older kids did. I doubt they'd be happy if their world started to narrow after that.

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Not to mention, they all enjoy the perks of being famous. Sure, you might get annoyed with cameras in your house, but it's pretty nice to be able to get free gifts sent to you, people telling you how great you are, and skip to the front of the Starbucks line every time. Why would you want to leave that?

Heck... I'd be willing to play up or down my beliefs to an extent for free Starbucks for life.

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My opinion on this probably isn't too popular, but I'll say it anyway:

I doubt that any of those kids are interested in leaving and not just because they were trained to think so. I think that they do have legitimate bonds with one another (or at least a few of their family members). I also think that most, if not all, of these kids honestly believe what they have been taught regarding their faith. They may have some doubts or questions, but I don't think any of them have had thoughts that have risen to the level of wanting to run.

Take Jana for instance. Everyone loves to say that she is on the verge of a breakdown or she looks ready to run out the door. I can understand why she could feel that way - she did spend the majority of her life raising her siblings. However, I don't think she is ready to breakdown or run away. I look at her and see a person who is simply uncomfortable around the cameras, a private person who wants to limit what public exposure she gets. I think she might be frustrated that she is still living with her parents, but that might be more due to the fact that she hasn't found someone she wants to marry - because marriage = adulthood in their culture.

I think a lot of the people here assume a lot about these kids - that Jill absolutely despises higher education, that Jessa is totally going Fundie-Lite, that Jana is going to breakdown, etc. I can't say that I blame people for that either; a lot of you have watched these kids grow up on screen. You want the absolute best that life has to offer for them and want to see them succeed. I think that's normal, but I also think that the simplest answer is usually the correct one - meaning, these kids are believers and none of them have any intention of leaving anytime soon.

If any of them do wind up leaving, it will be one of the younger kids who can't remember or never experience life before TLC - and even then, they'd only leave once the show is over and their parents start limiting their exposure to the outside world. They've gotten to experience things at a younger age than the older kids did. I doubt they'd be happy if their world started to narrow after that.

Everything people post on this forum is pure speculation based on the short, well edited glimpse we have of their lives from the show, social media, People magazine, etc. And then everyone is looking at the Duggars through their own personal lens of what they value in life. Has it never occurred to anyone that the kids may be perfectly happy with their fundie lives? Just because one of them looks sad or depressed doesn't necessarily mean that they are so because of fundamentalism. I get that it is sad that the kids' opportunities have been unnecessarily limited in the name of Christianity but it doesn't necessarily mean they are unhappy with their lives. Even Jinger, who has clearly expressed a desire to live in the city (or did so at one point), although she may be disappointed that she doesn't have that opportunity may also be very happy where she is with her family. I don't understand why everyone thinks that it should be their personal mission to "save" these kids.

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Wait what?! You can get arrested if you send a letter to the children with their options and rights in life and a different perspective?

And you can get arrested if you talk to them about their life and different options?

For real?!

Celebrities really do have more rights than "commoners"

Who knows, this is Duggarland we are talking about; I bet Police of some sort would be involved.

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Everything people post on this forum is pure speculation based on the short, well edited glimpse we have of their lives from the show, social media, People magazine, etc. And then everyone is looking at the Duggars through their own personal lens of what they value in life. Has it never occurred to anyone that the kids may be perfectly happy with their fundie lives? Just because one of them looks sad or depressed doesn't necessarily mean that they are so because of fundamentalism. I get that it is sad that the kids' opportunities have been unnecessarily limited in the name of Christianity but it doesn't necessarily mean they are unhappy with their lives. Even Jinger, who has clearly expressed a desire to live in the city (or did so at one point), although she may be disappointed that she doesn't have that opportunity may also be very happy where she is with her family. I don't understand why everyone thinks that it should be their personal mission to "save" these kids.

Exactly. I do see why people feel that way though. All of the Duggar kids were minors when they first started the specials. I think Josh was the only one who was an adult (or close to it) when the first season aired. I think a lot of people have watched them grow up. It's like seeing your children or grandchildren grow up - you wind up feeling somewhat protective towards them. Add in the way they were raised and I think it's natural that people here would want to help them somehow. They see that these kids could have had potential if given the chance to explore the outside world and they long to give them that chance.

For me, this is especially true when discussing Jill. I have a personality somewhat similar to her's - I can be really bubbly and happy, am a naturally nurturing and maternal person, and I can be a bit adventurous at times. I look at Jill and I see someone who would have made an excellent Nurse had she grown up in a family that encouraged independent thought, education, and ambition. The fact that she didn't makes me sad - but it doesn't mean she wants or needs saving.

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I think a lot of us, myself included, want to believe there are kids interested in leaving the lifestyle, but the reality probably is... they don't want to.

I think that some of them would if they wouldn't get cut off. I think all of them "want" to stay because the alternative of being banned from time with the kids they've been raising would hurt a lot more.

Offer me all the money I could ever need and a castle and everything, and tell me I could have it if I leave my kids, and I wouldn't want it. That's how it is for them.

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No, I haven't thought about doing anything like that-I think it would be impossible to get to them without their parents, and also even if they did feel unhappy with their lives, they would probably still be too afraid to take anyone up on the offer. Although I have thought about what I would do if I met a Duggar (or another fundie young adult) and they ended up confessing that they want out. I would definitely help if they actually came out and said they want out, or had ran away from home or something, but when they don't really want to be saved, or want to a bit but feel so guilty and afraid, they will never accept it.

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IMO, the chance is pretty darn high that a handful of these kids are going to come of age and be d-o-n-e- with fundeland/Gothardism.

JB and Michelle lived the first 20 years of their lives outside Gothardism-

Many of these kids will choose to move on- it always happens in the 2nd generation of a cult, which is why most die out.

The Duggar parents are doubly offensive because they forced their kids to live within a cult and then sold that life to a TV viewing audience for easy money.

It makes me want to vomit.

I think selling one's kids' lives for personal gain should be illegal.

I doubt any of those adult kids even KNOW what they want.

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They have a son whose a constable with police power. Scary.

That's true, they have a constable in the family, who has police power. Also, I wouldn't put it past them to put a restraining order against someone who sent a letter like that. I seem to remember that they did at least threaten to call the police at a garage sale because they realized not everyone there was a leghumper.

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...I look at Jill and I see someone who would have made an excellent Nurse had she grown up in a family that encouraged independent thought, education, and ambition. The fact that she didn't makes me sad.....

Rather than feeling sad, you should feel happy. She certainly seems happy now married and ready to have her first child. We all have our favorite Duggar kid and feel protective, but nobody held a gun to her head to get married. I am sure JB was very encouraging, but it was her choice, whether is be for the fame or just her love of Derrick. Contrary to popular belief, I don't think the Duggars would have denied her the ability to become a nurse had she truly insisted she wanted to go that route. Joe is now going to college and they have never ever said they were against college in the first place.

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Rather than feeling sad, you should feel happy. She certainly seems happy now married and ready to have her first child. We all have our favorite Duggar kid and feel protective, but nobody held a gun to her head to get married. I am sure JB was very encouraging, but it was her choice, whether is be for the fame or just her love of Derrick. Contrary to popular belief, I don't think the Duggars would have denied her the ability to become a nurse had she truly insisted she wanted to go that route. Joe is now going to college and they have never ever said they were against college in the first place.

Oh trust me, I do feel glad that she seems to have settled into married life so well. I think she has the right personality for that kind of lifestyle because she is just an upbeat and cheerful person. I do feel sad when I see someone with potential not get the chance to at least explore the possibilities though - I guess Jill did get some sort of chance when she was able to do her Midwife studies (not the same thing, but it is something). But you are right - Jill made the choice to marry of her own freewill (that we know of) and she does seem to be happy with that choice.

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There are a lot of different ways to be happy in life. I will always feel sad for Jill (and all of the kids) for not having the freedom to explore more options. I will always wonder what they could have accomplished if they hadn't been so limited.

That said, I think it's also pretty obvious Jill is the type who will find a lot of fulfillment in being a wife and mother. I worry more for the kids like Jessa and Jinger who don't seem quite as cut out for it as Jill. I'm sure both would enjoy parenting, but lots of people enjoy being a parent and still need other things in their life to make them feel happy and whole. For Jill, being a mom might be enough. But it's not for everyone.

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Jill knows nothing else. THAT is the problem, the limited, scrubbed list of choices that she was offered. Give it 10 years, when she is 33 and has 8 kids....that's when the discontent might surface.

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has anyone watched that Breaking Amish show? Don't a lot of those kids end up going back to their families?

Also, when the Amish kids have Rumspringa where they are allowed to leave and see and experience the outside world, don't the majority of them return to the life and their families according to statistics?

Running away from fundie life might very well mean being shunned by your entire family and I bet these kids wouldn't want to lose their siblings..

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