Duggars Vs. Bates

[PicklePrincess]

Last night I binge watched the Bates show. I was really struck with how much more likable the Bates are compared to the Duggars. (I know every family is different but they have a similar belief system and family size.)

 

My first observation was how happy the Bates seem. They are louder and the teenage girls are pretty obnoxious. That's how they should be! They didn't have that shy kitten voice. They look like they are fun girls.

 

The older boys seem very personable. Lawson is pretty great guy. It's great that he has a job that can support himself but also pursue something he loves. Good for him and good for his parents for letting him try. It was interesting to see which siblings were realistic and which were dreamers in regards to Lawson's music career.

 

I also love how the married children are finding their own way and Kelly and GIl accept that their adult children will have different standards. I love that Zach kissed Whitney before they were married! Good for him. He feel in love and he kissed the girl! They decorated the nursery in Pooh Bear. Alyssa was in a sleeveless top. NIKE! I love how Michael said she is affectionate. They hug everyone so of course she is going to hug her boyfriend- yep used that word!

 

I really couldn't help but really like Erin. It was very sad to see her go through her troubles with infertility. Anyone that either has had a child or difficulties having one can understand her heartache. It was nice seeing her spend time with her little siblings. They seem to adore her. Michael seems very much in love. What a difference between her and Jessa. How much more responsible is it to graduate from college and then establish yourself before getting married. Makes Ben look like an even worse decision.

 

I didn't get the sister mom feeling that I do from the Duggars. I love how Kelly fully admits that the older children really help her and it's a challenge now they are not around as much. I also love how when Kelly or Gil would forget something or mess up with something they would admit it and laugh it off. It was nice watching the family do things together. The garden was great. Camping was great. I don't think the Duggar kids would tease Jim Bob about snoring. Even the singing practice was great. Again they admitted they needed more practice. I loved how the girls kept giggling.

 

Seeing this family (the way they are editing) shows how robotic the Duggar children are. They way they "trained" their children is very different. Overall it looks like there is a lot of happiness in the Bates household. It highlights the opposite with the Duggars.

[Firiel]

Well, this is going to get crazy.

:popcorn2:

[feministing]

Last night I binge watched the Bates show. I was really struck with how much more likable the Bates are compared to the Duggars. (I know every family is different but they have a similar belief system and family size.)

My first observation was how happy the Bates seem. They are louder and the teenage girls are pretty obnoxious. That's how they should be! ;) They didn't have that shy kitten voice. They look like they are fun girls.

The older boys seem very personable. Lawson is pretty great guy. It's great that he has a job that can support himself but also pursue something he loves. Good for him and good for his parents for letting him try. It was interesting to see which siblings were realistic and which were dreamers in regards to Lawson's music career.

I also love how the married children are finding their own way and Kelly and GIl accept that their adult children will have different standards. I love that Zach kissed Whitney before they were married! Good for him. He feel in love and he kissed the girl! They decorated the nursery in Pooh Bear. Alyssa was in a sleeveless top. NIKE! I love how Michael said she is affectionate. They hug everyone so of course she is going to hug her boyfriend- yep used that word!

I really couldn't help but really like Erin. It was very sad to see her go through her troubles with infertility. Anyone that either has had a child or difficulties having one can understand her heartache. It was nice seeing her spend time with her little siblings. They seem to adore her. Michael seems very much in love. What a difference between her and Jessa. How much more responsible is it to graduate from college and then establish yourself before getting married. Makes Ben look like an even worse decision.

I didn't get the sister mom feeling that I do from the Duggars. I love how Kelly fully admits that the older children really help her and it's a challenge now they are not around as much. I also love how when Kelly or Gil would forget something or mess up with something they would admit it and laugh it off. It was nice watching the family do things together. The garden was great. Camping was great. I don't think the Duggar kids would tease Jim Bob about snoring. Even the singing practice was great. Again they admitted they needed more practice. I loved how the girls kept giggling.

Seeing this family (the way they are editing) shows how robotic the Duggar children are. They way they "trained" their children is very different. Overall it looks like there is a lot of happiness in the Bates household. It highlights the opposite with the Duggars.

How did you watch them? They took the YouTube vids down two Nights ago.

[PicklePrincess]

Comcast On Demand

[Kira]

Well, this is going to get crazy.

:popcorn2:

:lol: I disagree with many of the OP points. Kelly had sister moms or a sister mom. Michael did Kelly's job. In my opinion Michael didn't "wait" for marriage, she was needed at home.

Zach and Whitney had to apologize for kissing before marriage. Whitney even said it was not something that would recommend.

Goodbye, I'm going to stay out of this thread :lol:

[SassyPants]

:lol: I disagree with many of the OP points. Kelly had sister moms or a sister mom. Michael did Kelly's job. In my opinion Michael didn't "wait" for marriage, she was needed at home.

Zach and Whitney had to apologize for kissing before marriage. Whitney even said it was not something that would recommend.

Goodbye, I'm going to stay out of this thread :lol:

She is actually younger, albeit by a couple of weeks, than Jana Duggar. I guess Kelly is more equipped (or interested) to handle the load vs Michelle.

[Mela99]

Wait wait wait wait... they legit kissed before marriage? Once? Repeatedly? :pink-shock:

Does this mean they can't go to heaven now?

Who did they have to apologize to??

[formergothardite]

Zach and Whitney kissed before marriage. Zach felt guilty because his parents raised him in such a fucked up way that completely normal things seem sinful. So he confessed to his parents and apologized.

[lascuba]

The way Whitney and Zach talked about it had me side-eyeing the Bates harder than usual. They were super apologetic and serious about it with Whitney insisting that it's not something they would ever encourage. That doesn't sound like parents accepting their adult children's choices.

I do agree that they have much better TV presence than the Duggars and they come across as much less scripted. Like when they brought up how long it's been since Kelly's been pregnant. It was mentioned casually after Kelly said she's getting rid of her maternity clothes, one of the older girls said, "We used to have 3 kids in diapers and now there's just one." I like how Kelly just said, "It's sad, but I'm old." The whole scene just felt like something that would have happened exactly as it did without any cameras around. I can count on one hand with fingers left over how often I've gotten that impression from the Duggars.

[sorchah]

I got a definite sister mom vibe when it was mentioned that Michael potty trained nearly all of her siblings.

[PegBundyOfFundies]

I think thats what makes the Bates so much more dangerous than the Duggars. JB and J'Chelle fly their freak flag high (whether its intentional or unintentional is up for debate), they make it obvious that theyre "other", and you would never want to be like them. I still don't understand of 19KAC is supposed to be a ministry, because it drives me and most others I know in the opposite way of their beliefs, but I digress.

Gil and Kelly, ESPECIALLY in this new series, come off as these quaint, charming parents who have loving relationships with all of their kids; they seem more real. Its the folks that seem more normal you have to watch out for, those are the families that will "win souls" for their cult.

Its like poison, the Duggars come off like a box of rat poison, its obvious its not good for you so you avoid it. The Bates are more like an apple laced with drugs ala Snow White, it looks so shiny and good and normal you don't know what you've bitten into until its too late.

There's also the questionable racist imagery that used to be in Bates home, but thats been :dead-horse: here a million times.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I think thats what makes the Bates so much more dangerous than the Duggars. JB and J'Chelle fly their freak flag high (whether its intentional or unintentional is up for debate), they make it obvious that theyre "other", and you would never want to be like them. I still don't understand of 19KAC is supposed to be a ministry, because it drives me and most others I know in the opposite way of their beliefs, but I digress.

Gil and Kelly, ESPECIALLY in this new series, come off as these quaint, charming parents who have loving relationships with all of their kids; they seem more real. Its the folks that seem more normal you have to watch out for, those are the families that will "win souls" for their cult.

Its like poison, the Duggars come off like a box of rat poison, its obvious its not good for you so you avoid it. The Bates are more like an apple laced with drugs ala Snow White, it looks so shiny and good and normal you don't know what you've bitten into until its too late.

There's also the questionable racist imagery that used to be in Bates home, but thats been :dead-horse: here a million times.

Same cult, different spin. Because they haven't had much money they've had to let their kids have a bit more freedom to earn money. They went to college and know that it doesn't have to mean the end of someone's faith so they've let them do some of that--albeit online or at a very strict college. They still follow Gothard's teachings, they just package it differently. CLEARLY the people doing the show have read EVERY criticism of the Duggars ever posted here. I DO think Kelly DOES do more with her kids, but likely that is because Gil DOES go off and work. Jim-Bob hasn't done that in years. He made his money thru real estate deals more than anything else. He did work back in the day, but that cell phone tower and rental properties have been his income [aside from the show]. I notice the Bates have now banished the homemade dresses and now wear Duggarish clothes, much of which was probably picked by a stylist.

[HarleyQuinn]

Didn't the Bates' essentially force Whitney into fundamentalism as well? If i recall, she wasn't fundie, wore pants, and had a job before she met Zach?

I don't know a lot about the Bates to be honest. I didn't realize that Zach apologized for kissing Whitney. Makes me wonder how they feel about Alyssa and her jeans and tank tops. lol

[Mela99]

I don't get it ... Who is he apologizing to? And for whAt? Don't all these people say thAt courtship rules are set out by the couple? If they chose to kiss, that's their business. And they got married for gods sake ... I'm so curious now. Was it one kiss? Repeatedly? Were they ever allowed to be without two or tree chaperones again? More to the point how did they even kiss if they're being watched constantly? So many questions

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I don't get it ... Who is he apologizing to? And for whAt? Don't all these people say thAt courtship rules are set out by the couple? If they chose to kiss, that's their business. And they got married for gods sake ... I'm so curious now. Was it one kiss? Repeatedly? Were they ever allowed to be without two or tree chaperones again? More to the point how did they even kiss if they're being watched constantly? So many questions

You're supposed to set the rules and keep to them. Not set the rules and then change them as you go. Otherwise it's no different than dating.

Also, I'm not sure what their chaperone status was. The Bateses are more lenient about chaperoning than the Duggars are (their courting children don't have group texts involving the parents and such), so it's possible that they weren't being watched. [im speculating cause I haven't been able to watch the show since the first episode aired -- I have no cable or internet (outside of the Internet my cellphone company provides)).

[Toothfairy]

The Bates are more liberal. I think because they're so poor they can't afford all those kids just living there doing nothing. They're just as bad as the Duggars.

[RosyDaisy]

Didn't the Bates' essentially force Whitney into fundamentalism as well? If i recall, she wasn't fundie, wore pants, and had a job before she met Zach?

I don't know a lot about the Bates to be honest. I didn't realize that Zach apologized for kissing Whitney. Makes me wonder how they feel about Alyssa and her jeans and tank tops. lol

Yep. She became "convicted" to wear pants after meeting with Kelly and the girls.

[RosyDaisy]

Same shit different wardrobe with some southern charm thrown in. Let's take a look:

* Gil quit a good paying job at Nabisco to start his own business per Gothard's teachings.

* Grifted for free stuff while claiming they aren't on welfare.

* They belong to a cult whose former leader, Bill Gothard, has sexually harassed and assaulted teen girls and young women.

*2 daughters married to and 1 courting fundie royalty.

* Gil is on IBLP BoD (happened around the same time the courtships began).

* The girls are sent to Journey to the Heart, putting them in Bill Gothard's path.

* Jobs held by the Bates ladies are Gothard approved.

* Kelly pimped out Zach to fundie families with marriageable daughters after his failed courtship and while he was dating Whitney.

* "Convicted" Whitney to wear skirts only.

* Older daughter homeschooling her younger siblings.

* Late Bates

* Kelly didn't leave to check on her son after his wreck.

* These people seek to make away our rights.

There is absolutely nothing likeable about the Bates or Duggars...PERIOD. They are hateful people who hide behind take smiles and fake wholesomeness, and they hide the ugly. They have spiritually and emotionaly abused (and MAYBE even phsically) their kids. They deserve no sympathy, and I will cut them no slack or give them the benefit of the doubt.

[jinseng]

Its clear they are less extreme than the Duggars. The middle teenage girls are so obnoxious and everyone is VERY sarcastic with each other. Although I'm not a mother I cringe a bit at the way they speak to each other, and I am sure Gothard culture would definitely consider it rebellion. Judging by Kelly's blog comments etc, she seems to be able to think far more critically than Michelle, and gives specific answers to people's curious questions. This is probably owing to the fact that Kelly has a college degree, but I really appreciate this about Kelly because no matter what anybody ever asks Michelle, she will just reel off some regurgitated waffle about how it's a new season of life.

[roddma]

It's like the difference between Coke and Pepsi. Same product different flavor.

[KittenMitten]

Well, this is going to get crazy.

:popcorn2:

:lol:

And I'm here long enough to know what you mean :dance: !

[lascuba]

Its clear they are less extreme than the Duggars. The middle teenage girls are so obnoxious and everyone is VERY sarcastic with each other. Although I'm not a mother I cringe a bit at the way they speak to each other, and I am sure Gothard culture would definitely consider it rebellion. Judging by Kelly's blog comments etc, she seems to be able to think far more critically than Michelle, and gives specific answers to people's curious questions. This is probably owing to the fact that Kelly has a college degree, but I really appreciate this about Kelly because no matter what anybody ever asks Michelle, she will just reel off some regurgitated waffle about how it's a new season of life.

I'm inclined to think that it goes back to how scripted the Duggars are. They're probably pretty similar to the Bates--sarcastic siblings and all--when the cameras are off.

[RosyDaisy]

If the new show lasts for a few seasons, I predict attitudes towards the Bateses will change just like they did for the Duggars in the early days.

[Raecheal]

Same shit different wardrobe with some southern charm thrown in. Let's take a look:

* Gil quit a good paying job at Nabisco to start his own business per Gothard's teachings.

* Grifted for free stuff while claiming they aren't on welfare.

* They belong to a cult whose former leader, Bill Gothard, has sexually harassed and assaulted teen girls and young women.

*2 daughters married to and 1 courting fundie royalty.

* Gil is on IBLP BoD (happened around the same time the courtships began).

* The girls are sent to Journey to the Heart, putting them in Bill Gothard's path.

* Jobs held by the Bates ladies are Gothard approved.

* Kelly pimped out Zach to fundie families with marriageable daughters after his failed courtship and while he was dating Whitney.

* "Convicted" Whitney to wear skirts only.

* Older daughter homeschooling her younger siblings.

* Late Bates

* Kelly didn't leave to check on her son after his wreck.

* These people seek to make away our rights.

There is absolutely nothing likeable about the Bates or Duggars...PERIOD. They are hateful people who hide behind take smiles and fake wholesomeness, and they hide the ugly. They have spiritually and emotionaly abused (and MAYBE even phsically) their kids. They deserve no sympathy, and I will cut them no slack or give them the benefit of the doubt.

Can you please explain fundie royalty to me? newbie here.

[twinmama]

Zach and Whitney had to apologize for kissing before marriage. Whitney even said it was not something that would recommend.

I find this so bizarre. The only reason I can see someone saying that is because they had to in order to toe the family line. Because really, how has a few kisses prior to their marriage hurt their marriage??? What could it POSSIBLY have done? lol