The Mallys Ruin Air Travel

[JHeathen]

When strangers (on a plane or anywhere else I don't want to be disturbed) try to engage me by asking a question, I just say, "I really don't think that's any of your business." Repeat as necessary, and turn to your book.

Usually for strangers at the door, I just don't answer the door, even if it is obvious that someone is home. Occasionally for people at the door, when I have answered by mistake or something, I have told them I am an atheist and have been since I was a child, I only believe in Science, and they are completely wasting my time AND their own. Then I close the door.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

The last time I flew I was invited to my seat mate's grandson's birthday party. :lol: He had been traveling from halfway across the world for a full 24 hours to see his family and was just the sweetest guy. I'm a nervous flier so I enjoy when someone wants to make smalltalk.

If someone actually has the nerve to try to "save" you on a plane, I don't think it's classless to tell him or her to mind her own damn business.

As for home, a few months ago I put up no soliticing signs I screencapped and printed from Google Images, and then placed in laminating sheets. They specifically say "no soul winning." Wish I'd have done it years ago. I need to buy/order something that looks better, but I was going to snap if one more person knocked on my door for any reason (I work from home so I'm here all the time). I live on a county road with houses spaced out and get more strangers at the door than I ever did in neighborhoods!

[thoughtful]

She was lucky Samuel L. Jackson wasn't there.

[DGayle]

Ok. I don't travel by plane much. Maybe every other year. But this summer I'm flying from New York to Honolulu. Direct flight. Ten fricken hours. What if I meet a person who wants to save me? In my youth I would have said shut up you dickweed, or eat shit and die or f*uck off. But now I am a middle aged woman with class(well not really, but want to play the part).

Can I have a bunch of smart lines to get them to shut up and be scared of me, my husband and/or my son. Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated.

"I am not interested in discussing religion," followed with a question about something else, like the purpose of their trip. If they try turning it back to religion, "Like I already said, I'm not interested in discussing religion." If they try again, "Excuse me," and start reading a book. If they still try, ring for a flight attendant because that's a point where they're being hostile.

[DGayle]

My comment, and it's awaiting moderation. So it'll be deleted.

I think you were condescending to the first man. He's many years your elder, and pointed out something extremely valid. When you get older, you DO read things differently. You grow more, and grow up.

You say there's only 1 correct way to read things. Why is that 1 correct way the way YOU read it? How do you know his discomfort wasn't because he was trying to find some polite way to shut down the conversation with a little girl going to a youth camp who clearly thought she knows better? I guarantee you, you won't get people to come around to your way of thinking when you're sitting there pitying someone for not being your idea of a good Christian because they believe in tolerance and growth while you believe in intolerance and stagnation.

You also are offensive to Catholics when you hint at Gabrielle needing more Christians to come along. She IS Christian.

When you ask people in a majority-Christian country what their religion is, there's a good chance they'll say Christian of some denomination. I'm not sure why you see this as the lord arranging anything. Now if you're in a place that is majority non-Christian, and 3 out of 4 people you asked were Christian, against the odds, that would be unusual.

You were extremely out of line responding to the Episcopalian man's tolerance by comparing that to Hitler. Supporting different lifestyles in no way compares to the Holocaust. A couple gay people living and loving together is between them. What Hitler did was KILL MILLIONS.

I wouldn't be surprised if these comments are moderated and this comment doesn't make it through, but I hope you will read it and think about what you are doing wrong.

[DGayle]

I probably wouldn't have the nerve to do it, but what pops into my mind is answering the first question about my spiritual life by cheerfully asking "How much do you weigh? Do you squeeze your zits? How many times a week do you have sex? Are you wearing an adult diaper?"

Then waiting a few beats (I'm assuming shocked silence would ensue), and chirping "Oh! I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to have a conversation entirely composed of inappropriately private questions."

Next time I'm a captive audience, this is what I'm asking. I have brass balls if I'm backed into a corner.

[FaustianSlip]

If I had someone try proselytizing to me while I was trapped next to them on a plane, it would end like one of those scenes in Airplane! where the guy is telling his story (in interminable fashion) to people who keep offing themselves:

I would absolutely call the flight attendant and ask that either the troublemaker or I be moved, and if they didn't comply, I'd get their name and immediately start tweeting at the airline/contacting them via e-mail and/or phone and so on upon landing. I paid my money to be taken from Point A to Point B, not to listen to some windbag carrying on about how I need to be washed in the blood of the lamb.

[sandberry]

Is it wrong that I want to post some bible verses about humility and respecting your elders on her comments? That first man sounds a lot nicer than I would have been and when he politely tries to suggest that perhaps she might feel differently in years to come (no doubt in order to get out of this conversation) she compares him to Hitler!!

also why do fundies spend all their time converting fellow Christians? are the atheists not worth the effort or is it that their only point of reference for argument is the Bible and therefore they haven't any arguments for the rest of us

[KittenMitten]

also why do fundies spend all their time converting fellow Christians? are the atheists not worth the effort or is it that their only point of reference for argument is the Bible and therefore they haven't any arguments for the rest of us

Hmmmm. Interesting. Do fundies get more points for converting atheists (or Jews or Muslims or Pagans) to Christianity or Christians to Christianity? Does anyone know the scoring system?

[SnazzyNazzy]

Thank god I suffer from a severe case of resting bitch face. None of this stuff ever happens to me.

[kpmom]

If someone actually has the nerve to try to "save" you on a plane, I don't think it's classless to tell him or her to mind her own damn business.

Amen! We worry too much about offending people who do not give two craps about whether they're offending us.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

Hmmmm. Interesting. Do fundies get more points for converting atheists (or Jews or Muslims or Pagans) to Christianity or Christians to Christianity? Does anyone know the scoring system?

Maybe they've learned that many atheists know the bible better than they do so it's not worth arguing about!

[SassyPants]

Thank god I suffer from a severe case of resting bitch face. None of this stuff ever happens to me.

I have just the opposite problem. People deem me approachable. One time I had a very large, older lady ask me to apply her seat belt. She was in the window seat and I was in the aisle. When I told my family, they all screamed at me, "you needed to hit the call light. That is the attendant's job, not yours."

[Hane]

I probably wouldn't have the nerve to do it, but what pops into my mind is answering the first question about my spiritual life by cheerfully asking "How much do you weigh? Do you squeeze your zits? How many times a week do you have sex? Are you wearing an adult diaper?"

Then waiting a few beats (I'm assuming shocked silence would ensue), and chirping "Oh! I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to have a conversation entirely composed of inappropriately private questions."

*shrieking with laughter*

Back in the early '70s, when Jesus-freakiness was first getting off the ground, a young guy came up to me in the parking lot of the supermarket. He said he was working with a group of young Christians and asked me for a contribution. I brightly replied, "How nice! I'm working with a group of young Druids and we're saving up for our own sacred grove! Would you like to make a contribution?" and held my palm out. HE GAVE ME A QUARTER.

I put it into the collection basket at Mass the next Sunday.

[Naga Viper]

Thank god I suffer from a severe case of resting bitch face. None of this stuff ever happens to me.

I have this too. Doesn't mean I don't get approached, but the moment I turn to meet their gaze, it's hard to miss the "Fuck off" in my eyes. :lol:

Failing that, I've done a few of the techniques listed here and I'm totally not above wasting their time for fun. And if I'm feeling salty enough, I've been known to go the perv route, regardless of the person's gender: "You know, you have a beautiful [fill in the blank]. That purity ring comes off, right?" It's even better when there's two of them trying to double-team me and I turn it on them: "You guys hook up? Together? 'Cause I don't think I have a preference here." I might not do it somewhere I can't escape, like a plane, but otherwise...

[acheronbeach]

I have just the opposite problem. People deem me approachable. One time I had a very large, older lady ask me to apply her seat belt. She was in the window seat and I was in the aisle. When I told my family, they all screamed at me, "you needed to hit the call light. That is the attendant's job, not yours."

Me too. Weirdos are always coming up to me or trying to talk to me. Most recently, a fiftysomething man at the airport approached me to tell me I had "pianist's hands" and tried to engage me in conversation about pianos. :\

[Coconut Flan]

I'm a nurturing type and it must exude out my pores. People turn to me for help and young children cling to me when they're lost. So I smile sweetly, pull out a bottle of water (not always holy water), and proclaim my desire to bless them and pray for their immortal souls. I'm usually left in blessed, horror struck silence.

[KittenMitten]

Oh, oh, OH. I'm covered! I just remembered! I have a Get Out Of Hell Free card. Even better, my minister gave it to me. Whew!

I can just imagine that conversation. Yup, my minister gave it to me so I'm saved :dance:.

[DarkAnts]

You can buy get out of hell free cards.

http://www.getoutofhellfree.com

[lawlifelgbt]

When I was in college, the school's LGBT org had a get-together. They gave out "get out of hell free" cards to all the LGBT people attending, in case we ever ran into religious bigots. :lol: :nenner:

[DugFan]

O...M...G! That was painful to read. "He came up with an explanation of the passage to go along with his viewpoint, but it was a pretty big stretch. It was also very clear to me at that point that he simply did not understand the gospel!" Uh... isn't that what fundies do with pretty much every passage in the Bible?!?!?! :cry:

Reminds me of my favorite birthday card:

http://www.nobleworkscards.com/8353-bus ... -card.html

[Walking Cat Bed]

Pecan thief would have his shirt tucked in unlike that unholy heathen

Episcopalian Man needs a craft beer.

[Delilah]

You can buy get out of hell free cards.

http://www.getoutofhellfree.com

Love this!!!

[thoughtful]

Episcopalian Man needs a craft beer.

When he gets to the 19th hole. Right now, he's focused on his swing.