Christian Missionary ‘Discouraged’ Africa Isn’t wasteland

[moodygirl86]

Right, people thought she sent naked photos, but there were no naked photos. So what is so publicly humiliating here? What should she be humiliated about? She is calling out a man that assaulted her. SHE did not do anything worthy of humiliation. He did.

Just because she maybe made a stupid decision by letting this creep get too close to her and her family doesn't mean she is somehow responsible for being assaulted.

I have two very close friends who were both raped by people close to them. And guess what? In both cases, half their friends didn't believe them, said that it had probably been consensual, and that they probably didn't remember it right. People acted like these poor, helpless men had to deal with "crazy women" tarnishing their reputation. One of the men that assaulted them ended up assaulting THREE OTHER WOMEN in our town and people still refused to believe he was a rapist until finally a woman pressed charges. Because everyone "thought he was a nice guy."

I really don't know what it takes for people to trust a woman when she says she was assaulted. It's like nobody is willing to believe it unless there is video evidence that includes her saying NO, STOP right into the camera. Rape happens ALL THE TIME. It is not that outrageous to believe this woman could have been raped.

I'm so sorry for what your friend's been through, and glad her rapist was finally caught.

[lilah]

Right, people thought she sent naked photos, but there were no naked photos. So what is so publicly humiliating here? What should she be humiliated about? She is calling out a man that assaulted her. SHE did not do anything worthy of humiliation. He did.

Just because she maybe made a stupid decision by letting this creep get too close to her and her family doesn't mean she is somehow responsible for being assaulted.

I have two very close friends who were both raped by people close to them. And guess what? In both cases, half their friends didn't believe them, said that it had probably been consensual, and that they probably didn't remember it right. People acted like these poor, helpless men had to deal with "crazy women" tarnishing their reputation. One of the men that assaulted them ended up assaulting THREE OTHER WOMEN in our town and people still refused to believe he was a rapist until finally a woman pressed charges. Because everyone "thought he was a nice guy."

I really don't know what it takes for people to trust a woman when she says she was assaulted. It's like nobody is willing to believe it unless there is video evidence that includes her saying NO, STOP right into the camera. Rape happens ALL THE TIME. It is not that outrageous to believe this woman could have been raped.

f*** that victim-blaming bullshit.

she and her husband both trusted this man. He and helping their family. He betrayed that trust. It is not her fault "for letting him get too close." Given so many rapes are perpetrated by friends and family wouldnt we all love to have a crystal ball to know which people are going to be those rapists.

story absolutely breaks my heart I don't know what's a turn the way that she tried to not tell her husband because she did not want to interfere his sermon that she wanted to drop the charges because she felt that if she felt so unsupported

[eh02]

f*** that victim-blaming bullshit.

she and her husband both trusted this man. He and helping their family. He betrayed that trust. It is not her fault "for letting him get too close." Given so many rapes are perpetrated by friends and family wouldnt we all love to have a crystal ball to know which people are going to be those rapists.

story absolutely breaks my heart I don't know what's a turn the way that she tried to not tell her husband because she did not want to interfere his sermon that she wanted to drop the charges because she felt that if she felt so unsupported

I think you maybe misunderstood. SHE (the OP) is implying that it "must have been consensual" because, essentially, this woman must have been giving signals to the man (because apparently you can give signals that you want to be raped?). And THAT IS WRONG. It doesn't matter if this guy was a creep, it doesn't matter if he showed that maybe he was interested in her, it doesn't matter if "she should have known," it wouldn't even matter if she DID send him naked photos - because nothing makes rape OK.

The woman could have flaunted around naked with a dildo in her hand and it still wouldn't make her responsible for her own rape. ONLY HE IS RESPONSIBLE. Period.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

That story is awful. What do you mean when you say public humiliation?

The woman might be an idiot, but what happened to her sounds absolutely horrible. I think it is pretty brave to share her story, especially when the man who assaulted her is someone everyone in her community clearly knows.

Maybe what Mitz was (inelegantly) trying to say is that victims who speak out are often subject to intense, unfair scrutiny and criticism. Especially if she was speaking out against somebody in a tight-knit church community she may have some experience with having her name smeared. That might explain why she's so panicked to be an object of criticism again-- I bet it brings up a lot of crappy memories of being ostracized and blamed for her ordeal, and I have sympathy for that, even though I think the criticism is completely valid when it comes to her mission trip.

[Black Aliss]

Things have improved for Jessica and her "little preacher man" in that they found what their god called them to Kenya to do. They spent a day in the music room at a local college, tuning the violins and dusting the keyboards. Praise Jesus.

[Mitz_]

I think you maybe misunderstood. SHE (the OP) is implying that it "must have been consensual" because, essentially, this woman must have been giving signals to the man (because apparently you can give signals that you want to be raped?). And THAT IS WRONG. It doesn't matter if this guy was a creep, it doesn't matter if he showed that maybe he was interested in her, it doesn't matter if "she should have known," it wouldn't even matter if she DID send him naked photos - because nothing makes rape OK.

The woman could have flaunted around naked with a dildo in her hand and it still wouldn't make her responsible for her own rape. ONLY HE IS RESPONSIBLE. Period.

eHO2, You must be insane. I didn't say anything like any of that , what is your problem?

I said that she was humiliated because she was. She says so in later blog entries. It's common for rape victims to feel that way.

I'm sorry if you don't understand that he took pictures of her while he was raping her, I've tried to explain it to you and I'm not explaining anything else to you about this.

Lilah, Jes was in shock and on auto pilot, just going through the motions. That's why she didn't tell her husband right away. From reading the blog, she sounds like she just completely detached herself from it at first (to be able to deal with it) . Later on in her blog she finds out that Barry is a predator that has victimized other women too. She and her husband heal over time. Her husband is very supportive.

That story is deeply disturbing, I wish I hadn't even read it. I think it says a lot about how patriarichael teachings put women at risk and doesn't hold men accountable.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

eHO2, You must be insane. I didn't say anything like any of that , what is your problem?

I said that she was humiliated because she was. She says so in later blog entries. It's common for rape victims to feel that way.

I'm sorry if you don't understand that he took pictures of her while he was raping her, I've tried to explain it to you and I'm not explaining anything else to you about this.

Lilah, Jes was in shock and on auto pilot, just going through the motions. That's why she didn't tell her husband right away. From reading the blog, she sounds like she just completely detached herself from it at first (to be able to deal with it) . Later on in her blog she finds out that Barry is a predator that has victimized other women too. She and her husband heal over time. Her husband is very supportive.

That story is deeply disturbing, I wish I hadn't even read it. I think it says a lot about how patriarichael teachings put women at risk and doesn't hold men accountable.

I didn't read the other entries. Did anything ever happen to Barry since he did it to other women? Makes me sick he's walking around free

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Nope he's still free and active in his church.

kw.com/kw/agent/middle-tennessee-real-estate

[salex]

Plus, poor people in America have probably done something to bring it on themselves. They're lazy, or they do drugs, or make bad decisions.... :shifty-kitty:

The last bit is exactly what my husband said when we were laughing and rolling our eyes about this woman earlier. She couldn't go feed some hungry child in the USA, because the poor people here bring it on themselves..... And besides, it isn't as exotic to go across town as it is to go around the world.

[DGayle]

There are plenty of places to see crushing poverty here in the US, but you'll notice these types never do anything about that.

More than half of American school kids come from families so poor that they get free lunches at school, yet people like Jes are the sort to argue against any sort of aid. I swear some people get a high off of thinking they're above other people.

[DGayle]

It makes me think of the American Dad episode where Stan is horrified to discover that his new friend is an atheist, so he goes on a mission to ruin the guy's life so he will turn to Jesus during his personal crisis.

I love that show. It can seem crass at times, but it's really often just uncomfortably blunt about issues like this.

[DGayle]

[i really don't know what it takes for people to trust a woman when she says she was assaulted. It's like nobody is willing to believe it unless there is video evidence that includes her saying NO, STOP right into the camera. Rape happens ALL THE TIME. It is not that outrageous to believe this woman could have been raped.

As Steubenville showed us, you can have video showing the victim unconscious and still being violated, yet it's still her fault, and the real victims are the rapists, and it's a bigger crime to get the evidence and come forward with it (the whistleblower faced longer jail-time).

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

[tenth muse]

It sort of reminds me (sort of) of American missionaries to Australia. Like, no. We have plenty of fundies here anyway without you coming. And we do have running water and houses and everything!

[August]

The really really really eyewateringly dumb thing about the bootstrappers is how they say the developed world poor should get a job, but are horrified at suggestions they pay a poor person in the developing world to do the job the missionary would have done.

Like tuning pianos and dusting violins. Could they not have sponsored a Kenyan for a piano tuning course with their airfare? Then that person would have a useful profession with which to feed their family.

[louisa05]

It sort of reminds me (sort of) of American missionaries to Australia. Like, no. We have plenty of fundies here anyway without you coming. And we do have running water and houses and everything!

I know of former students from Christian school who are full time missionaries in such impoverished non-Christian places as Italy, Holland and the UK. :angry-banghead:

[Loveday]

I know of former students from Christian school who are full time missionaries in such impoverished non-Christian places as Italy, Holland and the UK. :angry-banghead:

I wonder if I could find a church to sponsor me in such a godless, heathen place as the Cornish coast. :think:

:doh:

[ViolaSebastian]

There's a very unfortunate myth in the West that people in Africa are poor and hungry. I bet nothing annoys Africa's middle-classes and aristocracies more than hearing and seeing this being bandied about in the UK and America. Yes, some people in Africa are hungry, and some of their regions are poverty-stricken. But they're not the only continent. Homelessness and poverty is rising in Britain too, and it'll probably get worse before it gets better.

I love this webpage that is a spoof on the "Save Africa" campaigns of various celebrities: http://www.africafornorway.no/

And this one, which is poking fun at the "sponsor a poor child" organizations:

http://www.sponsor-now.org/

[lilah]

The really really really eyewateringly dumb thing about the bootstrappers is how they say the developed world poor should get a job, but are horrified at suggestions they pay a poor person in the developing world to do the job the missionary would have done.

Like tuning pianos and dusting violins. Could they not have sponsored a Kenyan for a piano tuning course with their airfare? Then that person would have a useful profession with which to feed their family.

We've seen most fundie missionary trips are just opportunities for them to gawk/sneer at people in developing countries and maybe do some little side job. Look at Raquel. Her mission trips consisted of just hanging out at an orphanage and taking the orphans to a swimming pool.

[August]

We've seen most fundie missionary trips are just opportunities for them to gawk/sneer at people in developing countries and maybe do some little side job. Look at Raquel. Her mission trips consisted of just hanging out at an orphanage and taking the orphans to a swimming pool.

Because what every orphaned teenaged Bolivian boy needs is to feel up tickle a hot American chick, right?

All joking aside, just think of the poor kids in orphanages, and how one of the biggest problems is RAD. Yeah, sure those babies need a visit from a stranger to show random affection. :angry-banghead: :pull-hair: Have I posted info on half the sky before? Awesome organisation improving conditions in Chinese orphanages, started by a woman who adopted a Chinese daughter and couldn't forget that there were other children left behind.

[louisa05]

I wonder if I could find a church to sponsor me in such a godless, heathen place as the Cornish coast. :think:

:doh:

The one in Holland friended me on Facebook. I finally unfriended her because I couldn't take all the self righteous crap about how she was saving a nation. She gets $8000 a month in support money from suckers in the U.S. She lives in a lovely house, goes to mission conferences in exotic locales (Morocco was the last one before I blocked her), takes bike rides, goes on long walks with her dog each day, attends language class, posts selfies and scenery pics on instagram, and ministers to people "through one on one mentoring". The only mentoring relationship she seemed to actually have was with the teenage daughter of some other missionaries. And the church they all go to seems to be entirely ex-pats and missionaries.

[ExMW]

That article is the perfect example of why mission trips need to be stopped all together. jmo :embarrassed:

[salex]

The one in Holland friended me on Facebook. I finally unfriended her because I couldn't take all the self righteous crap about how she was saving a nation. She gets $8000 a month in support money from suckers in the U.S. She lives in a lovely house, goes to mission conferences in exotic locales (Morocco was the last one before I blocked her), takes bike rides, goes on long walks with her dog each day, attends language class, posts selfies and scenery pics on instagram, and ministers to people "through one on one mentoring". The only mentoring relationship she seemed to actually have was with the teenage daughter of some other missionaries. And the church they all go to seems to be entirely ex-pats and missionaries.

I told my husband about this as we drove to work this morning. We decided we are feeling the call to be missionaries to the wine growing regions of France and Italy.

We expect it will take at least a decade to really make a difference.

What is the name of that place Jill uses to collect her money????