Help, my family is fundy...

[longskirtstshirts]

So I would happily describe myself as Fundy Ultra-Lite.

I wear a skirt that hits below the knee every day but this is a more recent thing that stemmed from yes, wanting to be more modest, and also the fact that DAMN, did y'all know modest dress is super comfy???

I have shoulder length hair... it used to be halfway down my back, then I did Locks of Love and then it was getting long again and I broke my arm so I cut it to chin length because long hair is just too much when you can't use your left arm for three months... It's been growing since then. For me long hair is a choice I make purely because I think it looks really nice. I am blessed to have super healthy hair.

Despite my modest dress in public, I live with my brother a few blocks away from the ACCREDITED COLLEGE we both attend and I wear shorts at home all the time because I'm not afraid my brother won't be able to overcome his weak man urges (snark) and rape my kneecap or something. I also work full-time outside the home on top of part time school.

I've always been very spiritual (I really hesitate to describe myself as "religious") and attended various churches since I left home (even the Catholic church, OH THE HORROR!!!). I read the KJV bible and own 3 copies... I also have a copy of "The Message" and an NIV Study Bible because you know, I want to go STRAIGHT TO HELL.

My parents took us to various churches as kids. My dad is and always has been staunchly Baptist and so is his whole family. He took me to Baptist churches and then at the urging of my mom now attends a First Christian church. I went to a Christian School that was attached to a MegaChurch of God so I attended there a lot as a kid as well. Then when I was 14 or 15 my parents decided I was WAY too rebellious to soil their family home with my presence so I got sent to live with my maternal Grandma and her husband, who are pretty sure if you don't go to the Church of Christ you are also going STRAIGHT TO HELL.

Church of Christ (at least the one I went to) is pretty fundy-lite. No music with a rock beat, hell no music period unless it was voice only. There is definitely a major emphasis on submissive women and headships. I believe in the "submissive wife" concept but not nearly to the extent fundies do (at least I don't think so...). I don't think they wanted us to wear skirts and grow long hair or anything but there was some emphasis put on modesty of dress and behavior.

I am 100% "pro-choice" on most things in life... If you wanna have an abortion, great, have one. I won't. Wanna get married? Get married. But I also think that applies to things like wanna own and AK-47? Go buy you one.

So anyway, Me = Fundy Ultra-Lite. The older I get the more I lean toward Fundy but honestly I just can't justify hating entire groups of people or beating kids to death (I got the belt regularly. I didn't know that was frowned upon by anyone until I came to FJ.) so.. yeah.

I just found out my paternal grandmother and her PREACHER BROTHER and probably that whole side of the family save my dad and his siblings are INDEPENDENT FUNDAMENTAL BAPTISTS. I swear on my life I never knew this (or maybe never realized it. Fundy wasn't a thing to me until I stumbled on y'all because of an article about Jana Duggar, then I became a faithful lurker). I was looking for a new church and I thought I would look into my great uncle's church. I knew he was Baptist but as I began reading their site I realized a theme and then... there it was in the Church Constitution. Independent. Fundamental.

Are there good Fundies in the world or does this mean I've lived my entire life thinking these were good people that I loved, and it turns out they are racist, sexist, evil child-beaters? Are all IFBs ultimately the same or should I start asking them questions? This is rocking my world. My great aunt and my grandma are the two sweetest old ladies I know... surely they don't believe all this stuff.

P.S. Sorry this is so long. I'm expecting some tl;dr and maybe some snark on my personal beliefs.

[SamE]

What kind of input are you looking for? A prize for being fundie?

FJ is a wide group of people with a wide variety of beliefs.

I am borderline Catholic fundie and my kids go to a conservative Catholic school. I toyed around with becoming a Nun before I got married. My son was conceived out of wedlock and I refused to get an abortion or have invasive medical testing when I was preggers with him. My daughter belongs to American Heritage Girls instead of Girl Scouts. I am divorced. I used to be a Duggar fangirl and was tickled pink when my kids got to hang with the howlers at an event. I am not a fangirl anymore. I have been known to attend a RHEMA church because I liked the music and style of worship. My BFF is Buddhist. My family ranges from Salvation Army to Pentecostal to agnostic to IFB. I certainly don't get a prize.

[calimojo]

never mind

[longskirtstshirts]

I think you missed my question. :)

I was asking if this meant my family is probably wrapped up in an evil cult or if any evidence had been discovered saying that not all IFB churches are cray cray.

I'm not Fundy... like I said Fundy Ultra-Lite. People I went to the Church of God with were crazier than me, hands down.

How are you "borderline Catholic fundy" if you go to a RHEMA church??? Just curious. I attended a Catholic church for a while and even made it about 3/4 of the way through RCIA. I just don't see how you could be borderline fundy Catholic if you don't attend Mass at least once a week.

[formergothardite]

Are there good Fundies in the world or does this mean I've lived my entire life thinking these were good people that I loved, and it turns out they are racist, sexist, evil child-beaters?

People are usually not 100% horrible. Lori Alexander might be the exception because I haven't be able to find anything nice about that woman. People can believe and do horrible things and still also do nice things. You have to decide for yourself if these are "good" people.

Are all IFBs ultimately the same or should I start asking them questions?

Of course they aren't all the same. You should ask them what they believe and why they believe it.

My great aunt and my grandma are the two sweetest old ladies I know... surely they don't believe all this stuff

You would have to ask them if you want to know the answer. Would they be the sweetest old ladies if you were a gay atheist? Or are they only sweet because you are like them?

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

One of the sweetest old ladies I knew disowned her daughter for marrying a black man. She would walk out of the room if her daughter walked in. She removed all pictures of her and refused to acknowledge her grandchildren. I realized that she wasn't as sweet and nice as she appeared.

As for your beliefs, if you want to wear skirts and it makes you happy, go for it. As long as you are doing it of your own free will and don't do it because you feel pressured by God/religion/other people, I have no fucks to give about it. I do feel sad for people who don't truly want to dress that way but feel like they must or they are sinning. Same with being submissive. Do you really want to be a submissive wife or do you feel like you must or it will be a sin? Why do you think that women should be submissive? Have you bought into the idea that men must be in charge or marriages won't be successful? Think about why a penis magically gives men the ability to lead. Spoiler: It doesn't.

[Monkeebrainz]

What kind of input are you looking for? A prize for being fundie?

FJ is a wide group of people with a wide variety of beliefs.

I am borderline Catholic fundie and my kids go to a conservative Catholic school. I toyed around with becoming a Nun before I got married. My son was conceived out of wedlock and I refused to get an abortion or have invasive medical testing when I was preggers with him. My daughter belongs to American Heritage Girls instead of Girl Scouts. I am divorced. I used to be a Duggar fangirl and was tickled pink when my kids got to hang with the howlers at an event. I am not a fangirl anymore. I have been known to attend a RHEMA church because I liked the music and style of worship. My BFF is Buddhist. My family ranges from Salvation Army to Pentecostal to agnostic to IFB. I certainly don't get a prize.

I understand why you want to dodge abortion but what do you mean by invasive medical proceedures?

[Monkeebrainz]

I think you missed my question. :)

I was asking if this meant my family is probably wrapped up in an evil cult or if any evidence had been discovered saying that not all IFB churches are cray cray.

I'm not Fundy... like I said Fundy Ultra-Lite. People I went to the Church of God with were crazier than me, hands down.

How are you "borderline Catholic fundy" if you go to a RHEMA church??? Just curious. I attended a Catholic church for a while and even made it about 3/4 of the way through RCIA. I just don't see how you could be borderline fundy Catholic if you don't attend Mass at least once a week.

A fundamentalist church is not necessarily a cult. A cult is a new religious movement. It has to have new beliefs and often a new prophet or avatar of a god. Independent baptists and other fundi groups are sects and many of them have become denominations. They have strict beliefs and rigid rules but they can still be nice.