Parenting Tips for Derick

[LogansMama]

And once again, my favorite Mommy blog rocks it. Check out the parenting tips (and memes) JB will pass on to Derick. Feel free to add any of your own!

 

http://www.mommyish.com/2015/01/27/jim- ... dillard/2/

 

Two days in a row of awesome Duggar news, somebody pinch me! Today, People is asking the hard-hitting question of whether Derick Dillard will embrace fatherhood to which I say: 1. Too late to back out now. 2. Um, he married a woman with 18 siblings. I’m pretty sure Derick is more than ready to embrace fatherhood considering his pedigree. This pointless article did get me thinking, though- about the parenting tips Jim Bob Duggar could pass on to his son-in-law before their first baby arrives. He should know, right?

 

1. How To Negotiate The Best Mate For Your Daughter

Jim Bob has now weathered the match-making process for two of his daughters and at least tried to get talks off the ground for Jana and a certain super hot football player. He should have good advice on procuring the ideal suitors for any future daughters Derick and Jill have.

 

2. How To Make A Denim Diaper

You’ve gotta save money somehow and going cloth seems like a sensible move for a family that will likely have 20 kids to re-use them. We all know Jim Bob worships at the altar of Levi so he should have some choice tidbits to pass along.

 

3. How To Select Your Family’s Name Letter

We all know the letter Jim Bob and Michelle arrived on and also, their son Josh and his wife Anna. The jury is still out on whether Derick and Jill will forsake 96% of the alphabet, but if they do, they better make sure to pick a letter with many options.

 

4. How To Buy Denim (And Everything Else) In Bulk

Or used. Whatever. Big families cost a shitload and Derick, although an accountant, will need all the help he can get. Maybe he should consider buying denim by the roll.

 

5. How To Drive A Bus

Jim Bob has driven an out-sized family vehicle for the better part of the last two decades to accommodate his clan. He better teach Derick how to negotiate a behemoth van so he doesn’t derp it up in the church parking lot.

 

6. How To Fit 10 Bunk Beds In A 9×11 Room

Before the Duggars got all that sweet TLC cash, they lived in a rather modest home with only a few bedrooms for their 14 or 15 kids. I’m sure Jim Bob could teach Derick a thing or two about piling kids in a room like sardines. And in learning to live with no personal space whatsoever.

 

7. How To Stay Trim On A Diet Of Tater Tots And Cream Of Mushroom Soup

Again, the budget is a bitch. Unless Jim Bob filters down some of that aforementioned TLC coin, Jill and Derick will need to watch the grocery bill.

 

8. How To Handle A Dirty Diaper When There Is No Woman Around

We all know that baby stuff is the work of women but if the wife ever has to birth another child or take a poop, the menfolk may need to pitch in. Jim Bob can advise Derick on how to keep calm so he can do it without breaking a sweat.

 

9. How To Stay Cool When The Delivery Room Nurse Wears Pants

Seeing that nurse in pants all throughout the labor process might cause lustful thoughts. Jim Bob can teach Derick de-boner-ifying techniques to use for the next 20 years of birthing. I’m thinking a Bible in the lap- that sort of thing.

 

10. How To De-Clog Shower Drains From All That Hair

Because we all know what a hazard Duggar daughters pose to the household plumbing.

[CorruptionInc.]

This is brilliant!!!

Welcome to the circus you married into Derrick Dillard!

[DGayle]

"He better teach Derick how to negotiate a behemoth van so he doesn’t derp it up in the church parking lot."

I laughed harder than I probably should have.

#8: Call for Jana.

[txmommyof4]

How to get that baby off the breast faster so the next kid in line can start cooking.

How to pretend grocery shopping is a field trip.

[BrownieMomma]

How to Shop at Thrift and Secondhand Stores or Spending a Lot of Time Sifting Through Junk

How to Bid at Auctions (for used mattresses gag)

How to Hide the Unpalatable Parts of Your Chosen Lifestyle

100 Squicky Inappropriate Sexual Comments and Activities or How to Hump Your Wife in Public and Keep Your Fan Base

[bluebird]

Logansmomma your post is a knee slapping, rib cracking ahahaha!!!