Woman-child Amy "Duggar"

[LongDogMom]

I will admit that the 'At her age I had done X, Y, & Z' thing is a huge pet peeve of mine. It's totally arbitrary, superficial, and frankly often quite snobby. It's just not a helpful way to evaluate a person's life - in my opinion.

I agree. People have different circumstances in their lives and you can't judge. I know some families who have a lot of money so they've paid for their kids to live in big cities (in paid apartments) and do grad studies in other countries like Australia (we're in Canada). We can't afford to do that for our kids but it doesn't mean their kids are so much more mature. Ours are paying for their own apartments and cars, etc. Some people come from abusive backgrounds and just finishing highschool might be a huge accomplishment. So much depends on circumstances and what people have available to them.

Plus the world can be a dangerous place. It has changed since I was young and stuff I was freely allowed to do as a child and young adult, I would not want my own kids to be doing these days. A lot of people prey on young women who go to Nashville to try to have a music career so maybe she's being smart to be so cautious. And everyone is different and we don't really know how mature or immature they truly are or what they've been through, especially Amy. I'm not slamming anyone, just saying.

[LongDogMom]

I don't mean to insult anyone but she has accomplished very little. She doesn't even live on her own. She seems to need her mommy for everything.

I believe you weren't trying to offend or insult anyone. It's easy to look at her and compare and know that you were being much more responsible for things on your own at her age and see that as immature. It's natural to do that and I didn't take offence and I wasn't trying to slam you for your comment when I pointed out that comparing isn't fair because we don't always know the circumstances of peoples lives and what they may have experienced or be overcoming. Just stating facts because I've seen families on both sides where the kids do a lot because the parents have lots of money to take them on world trips and pay for things like apartments for them to "learn" to be independant, and other families where a child was overcoming a lot of abuse and just finishing school was a massive accomplishment and something to be celebrated. Add to that health issues that aren't known, and it's even more complicated. There are so many variables that it's really unfair to judge her without knowing more about her life and what is really going on. That's my opinion.

[gustava]

I think its obvious that Amy has her issues. However, she has the right to live her life the way she sees fit. It isn't the way I would do things, but I also wasn't raised in the type of family or environment that she was. If I had been maybe I would have turned out the same way. And to be honest, knowing what we do about her extended family, its entirely possible that this lack of maturity isn't entirely Amy's fault - she could have been denied opportunities the same way her cousins have been, just in different ways.

As for traveling with her mom and Grandma, I don't see anything wrong with it. Is it odd when they go to meetings with her? Yeah. That's probably a bit much. However, she may feel more comfortable traveling with people she knows and trusts rather than traveling on her own right now - I know that I feel more comfortable traveling with family or my fiance than I would on my own.

When it comes to her name, I honestly think it is Duggar and always has been. And I don't see why someone would criticize her even if that wasn't the case. It's her name and her decision.

Her parents were not married until recently. I rather like that Deanna gave her daughter her own last name, rather than that of the absentee sperm donor.

[sorchah]

I definitely think we should be prepared for another excruciatingly boring Nashville episode. She IGed a photo while she was there that was tagged something like "hanging with the producer's kids." Can't imagine why the producer's kids would be in Nashville if they weren't filming...though I guess I can't really imagine why the producer's kids would be there even if they were filming. Vacation I guess?

I think she meant the record producer, or maybe music video producer.

[sophrosyne]

King Dill Pickle was in a head on collision. Broke his leg. Posted on Amy's Instagram.

"God spared his life."

instagram.com/p/yOFblqtkGs/

[roddma]

I do agree Amy is a bit immature, but I feel she sees more to life than courting/marrying/kids at 20. Michelle still acts like a giddy school girl herself. She has been married since 17.

[PracticeMakesProgress]

Doesn't it make you wonder what Grandma and Grandpa Duggar were like as parents to screw up their kids to the point that all the grandkids are such train wrecks.

As someone who works with a lot of families, and sees a lot of multi-generational relationships at that, I'd say they were probably as normal as normal could be. JB sees his older sister become a little rebelilous (cousin Amy born out of wedlock? Scandal!), and he responds by trending super religious fundie. I bet Grandma and the late Jimmy Lee were probably average church-goin' Southern folk who deep down were as probably :wtf: as the rest of us...

As for Amy, I don't care if her mom-ager and poor Gma go everywhere with her, if she lives at home until she is 100, and never pays a single bill. But for the love of God, could she please go to Nashville to interview for a job as an engineer? An accountant? Nurse? SOMETHING OF ACTUAL VALUE? What is wrong with people in our society that so many believe being the best singer in their church-not actual writer, musician, or producer-means they should pursue that and ONLY that professionally? She sings other peoples' songs, marginally better than I do in the shower. And I swear, these singing competition shows, when everybody in their talking heads talks about giving up a stable, decent, contributory job to pursue their *passion*...well, that's why I changed channels to TLC in the first place... :angry-banghead: :doh:

[Miggy]

Oh Amy, Amy ...

Son 2 wants to be a musician. He is 17 and has been having lessons with teachers since he was 2. He has attended many music camps, university workshops and professional development days. He has watched my life as a musician and the fact I teach as well as perform to make an adequate income. (This is not a negative thing: I am passionate about teaching and love the mix I have of performing and teaching.) So, Son 2 is off to university next month where he will train in production and performance so that he can work in a recording studio or theatre to supplement his performing income.

Amy, do you realise you are competing with people like my son? People who have worked hard for years? People who practice every day? People with university training on their chosen instrument? Enjoy singing for fun. Sing at church and friends weddings. Forget it as a career. It's not going to happen. (It may not happen for my son either, despite all his efforts. It's a competitive industry.)

[Firiel]

I don't think Amy wants to be a musician anyway. Amy wants to be a star. I think she has interest in concerts and fame and praise, not in teaching music lessons so she can continue performing for a living. And, I mean, that's a normal dream to have when you are 18-20. Not when you are 28. I think that's why I respect her so little. When I was about 19, I wanted to be a writer. I took some creative writing classes in college and realized that I like writing okay, but I don't really like it all THAT much. I like the idea of writing and the idea of producing creative works. Amy is 28 and hasn't even realized that she doesn't really like singing enough to be passionate about and pursue it.

[pega127]

I agree with this point 100%. They are not big on raising strong, independent, resourceful women in that family. Or men for that matter.......

Amy is just another example of a Duggars without further education and this one was not a home schooled product. Why isn't Amy at a college studying music education or something while she waits for her big break in Nashville?

[Paperplate]

Although I think Amy is immature (and obnoxious) I think it's wrong to say that you HAVE TO move out of your parents' house to prove your maturity and independence.

Under some circumstances it just doesn't make sense to move out. I'm not saying Amy would be able to handle living on her own (honestly, I don't think she could do it without her mummy there), but if there's room at her parents' house and she doesn't want to move away from that area at the moment, why should she get her own apartment? It doesn't make sense financially.

It also seems like she and her family enjoy each other's company so it wouldn't be a burden to them to spend time together daily.

But I still think Amy should get her act together, grow up and start actually doing something.

[calimojo]

I agree that her living at home is not a big deal, in general. It could very well be that she contributes to the household income and chores, and it is just a living situation, not a "I can't separate from my mommy" situation.

After my dad died, it was just my mom and I from the time I was 10 until age 14. She and I were very much like friends at that point. Being an only child, I was used to spending a lot of time with adults anyway, so in some ways I was more mature than my years. Had she not gotten remarried when I was 14, I can easily imagine that I would have continued to live with her after graduating college. In fact she hated the little town we lived in so I think she would have easily moved with me. I had a degree in nursing and could have moved anywhere and gotten a job. She was a teacher, and she also could have gotten a job elsewhere, especially as a substitute since she would have been partially retired by then.

As far as we know, Amy didn't go to college right? To me that is part of the issue. Not that college is for everyone, but it doesn't seem as she has done anything to really learn a skill or train for a career. As a young woman, she should have been trying to develop a career path. College or some sort of job skill training, instead of just being a part time nanny when it suited her. If she enjoys working with young kids, she could have gone for a degree or certificate for early childhood ed, She could have gotten a job at a daycare, or a Head Start program, etc. Instead, she just seems to have floated around since she graduated college, making appearances on the show, and babysitting here and there.

If I were a mom, who had a child out of wedlock and had to raise and support them more or less on my own for many years, I think that would have caused me to really stress to my daughter the need to learn to be independent, to have job skills and education. I imagine that Amy's mom had some lean years, financially and it couldn't have been easy, in the bible belt, in a small town, to be a single mom.

I would have done whatever I could to make sure my child had more opportunities and understood the need to be able to support themselves, because life can throw some curve balls, even good ones like a sweet little baby, and you need to be prepared.

As far as going to Nashville: Nashville is a fun city, with lots to do. Maybe her mom and G=Ma D, view it as a vacation to go with her. Amy is a small town girl, and might truly be uncomfortable driving and navigating in a bigger city by herself. I have friends who are my age who still hate to drive "in the city" and don't like to travel alone. I personally love it, and have traveled on my own to conferences or to visit out of state friends and family numerous times. I enjoy doing that, exploring a new city, and have even overcome my reluctance to dine alone at a nice restaurant, but it isn't for everyone. Some people are just more naturally comfortable doing things with other people all the time.

I don't think it is necessarily a sign of insecurity or immaturity. Yes, Amy is immature, but mainly because she seems to be extremely naive and almost arrogant, about how to earn a music career. She doesn't seem to get the connection between hard work and commitment and being respected and successful.

And sorry this is so long, but honestly, I support anytime poor G-Ma Duggar gets out of the house, away from the howlers and lost girls. While I am sure she loves all of those kids, I think she needs a break from doing laundry and watching someone else's children

[Firiel]

As far as we know, Amy didn't go to college right? To me that is part of the issue. Not that college is for everyone, but it doesn't seem as she has done anything to really learn a skill or train for a career. As a young woman, she should have been trying to develop a career path. College or some sort of job skill training, instead of just being a part time nanny when it suited her. If she enjoys working with young kids, she could have gone for a degree or certificate for early childhood ed, She could have gotten a job at a daycare, or a Head Start program, etc. Instead, she just seems to have floated around since she graduated college, making appearances on the show, and babysitting here and there.

IMO, Amy is just sitting around doing nothing while waiting to get married. She is just like her cousins in that way. I'm not going to cut her any slack because she wears short skirts and drinks booze while she's twiddling her thumbs and waiting for a husband.

In fact, I cut her LESS slack because she wasn't, you know, raised in a cult.

[Meloncollie]

I find the Amy storyline boring. Really. I wish they would never again air anything about her singing or going to Nashville. Duggars are famous for pumping out children and living a weird fundie life. A show about a marginally talented childless unmarried non fundie who sings is colossally uninteresting and a waste of TV time. Now if amy got married, popped out some kids and turned into an off the grid fundie non- vaccinator, that would be more in line with the show's concept and could be interesting, especially if she posted roadkill recipes to Pinterest and ate what she cooked on TV.

Regarding the duggars, I also find the episodes boring that don't showcase their uniqueness. Why not delve into ati and gothard? Why not show them at home church? The anti abortion March? Campaigning for right wingers? Show the politics within the family. Let's see Josiah's meltdown and how they dealt with it.

[zz22zz]

Why do people keep questioning her last name? Her mom was not married when she had Amy, her dad and mom broke up many times during Amy's childhood. ...think 16 and pregnant scenario. (This has been mentioned on the show several times ...it is in their books...Amy has clarified) since she was born out of wedlock it is not unusual at all that she would have her mom's last name.

Yes her parents are married now but that happened after Amy was over 18.. Why would she change her name at that point.

Also that people overlook that Jim Bob's sister ( his only sibling) had a baby as an unwed mom and he saw what that is like and then became attracted to strict courting rules for his kids isn't that shocking ....

Yes she is sheltered I agree there

[SassyPants]

I agree that her living at home is not a big deal, in general. It could very well be that she contributes to the household income and chores, and it is just a living situation, not a "I can't separate from my mommy" situation.

After my dad died, it was just my mom and I from the time I was 10 until age 14. She and I were very much like friends at that point. Being an only child, I was used to spending a lot of time with adults anyway, so in some ways I was more mature than my years. Had she not gotten remarried when I was 14, I can easily imagine that I would have continued to live with her after graduating college. In fact she hated the little town we lived in so I think she would have easily moved with me. I had a degree in nursing and could have moved anywhere and gotten a job. She was a teacher, and she also could have gotten a job elsewhere, especially as a substitute since she would have been partially retired by then.

As far as we know, Amy didn't go to college right? To me that is part of the issue. Not that college is for everyone, but it doesn't seem as she has done anything to really learn a skill or train for a career. As a young woman, she should have been trying to develop a career path. College or some sort of job skill training, instead of just being a part time nanny when it suited her. If she enjoys working with young kids, she could have gone for a degree or certificate for early childhood ed, She could have gotten a job at a daycare, or a Head Start program, etc. Instead, she just seems to have floated around since she graduated college, making appearances on the show, and babysitting here and there.

If I were a mom, who had a child out of wedlock and had to raise and support them more or less on my own for many years, I think that would have caused me to really stress to my daughter the need to learn to be independent, to have job skills and education. I imagine that Amy's mom had some lean years, financially and it couldn't have been easy, in the bible belt, in a small town, to be a single mom.

I would have done whatever I could to make sure my child had more opportunities and understood the need to be able to support themselves, because life can throw some curve balls, even good ones like a sweet little baby, and you need to be prepared.

As far as going to Nashville: Nashville is a fun city, with lots to do. Maybe her mom and G=Ma D, view it as a vacation to go with her. Amy is a small town girl, and might truly be uncomfortable driving and navigating in a bigger city by herself. I have friends who are my age who still hate to drive "in the city" and don't like to travel alone. I personally love it, and have traveled on my own to conferences or to visit out of state friends and family numerous times. I enjoy doing that, exploring a new city, and have even overcome my reluctance to dine alone at a nice restaurant, but it isn't for everyone. Some people are just more naturally comfortable doing things with other people all the time.

I don't think it is necessarily a sign of insecurity or immaturity. Yes, Amy is immature, but mainly because she seems to be extremely naive and almost arrogant, about how to earn a music career. She doesn't seem to get the connection between hard work and commitment and being respected and successful.

And sorry this is so long, but honestly, I support anytime poor G-Ma Duggar gets out of the house, away from the howlers and lost girls. While I am sure she loves all of those kids, I think she needs a break from doing laundry and watching someone else's children

I agree about GM Mary. Plus she is Amy's GM too, not just the packs' GM. I know many GPs have a soft spot for their first grandchild, the one who made them a grandparent (s).

[zz22zz]

Couple of more points...

My daughter is an only, last born grandchild. My fundie brother has a handful of children and my daughter is by far my mom's favorite. She loves all the kids but I think it is easier with my daughter because she doesn't have to worry about breaking any fundie rules. If my kiddo decided to persue Nashville in her late 20's I can totally see my mom tagging along. As for me....probably if my daughter asked me to come. The benefit of having only one child is that you have the flexibility and opportunity to be more focused on their lives. I had several only child friends growing up and it was the same, that is one of the reasons I only had one child.

Second I know the show glossed over it but I'm pretty sure Amy had been nannying for one family and babysitting for others for several years. I have nannied myself for several stints over the past 20-25 years, especially when I was laid off at different points in my career. (I have two undergraduate degrees and my masters and have worked different industries (changing when the others became obsolete)). Nannying can pay very well. I just forced myself to give up my last nannying gig of 3 years to get my 'real' career back on track. I was making more nannying and it is mostly a cash arrangement. Especially in a rural area it would be a 'good' job for a young woman. Would you rather she be like Whitney Bates and have a college degree and work at Sonic?

[SassyPants]

Couple of more points...

My daughter is an only, last born grandchild. My fundie brother has a handful of children and my daughter is by far my mom's favorite. She loves all the kids but I think it is easier with my daughter because she doesn't have to worry about breaking any fundie rules. If my kiddo decided to persue Nashville in her late 20's I can totally see my mom tagging along. As for me....probably if my daughter asked me to come. The benefit of having only one child is that you have the flexibility and opportunity to be more focused on their lives. I had several only child friends growing up and it was the same, that is one of the reasons I only had one child.

Second I know the show glossed over it but I'm pretty sure Amy had been nannying for one family and babysitting for others for several years. I have nannied myself for several stints over the past 20-25 years, especially when I was laid off at different points in my career. (I have two undergraduate degrees and my masters and have worked different industries (changing when the others became obsolete)). Nannying can pay very well. I just forced myself to give up my last nannying gig of 3 years to get my 'real' career back on track. I was making more nannying and it is mostly a cash arrangement. Especially in a rural area it would be a 'good' job for a young woman. Would you rather she be like Whitney Bates and have a college degree and work at Sonic?

It's probably easier to be GM to Amy than the others...she doesn't have to do Amy's laundry and there's only Amy. When does she ever get 1:1 time with any of JB's kids...other than with Joy in the laundry room?

[Dandruff]

How about Crown College? She'd be away from home, could take music courses, and cousin Joseph goes there. Yeah...I'm kidding, though an episode showing her visiting and learning about the rules would be entertaining.

[BarbaraMary]

Except CC has a no judging CC rule :p

[calimojo]

Couple of more points...

My daughter is an only, last born grandchild. My fundie brother has a handful of children and my daughter is by far my mom's favorite. She loves all the kids but I think it is easier with my daughter because she doesn't have to worry about breaking any fundie rules. If my kiddo decided to persue Nashville in her late 20's I can totally see my mom tagging along. As for me....probably if my daughter asked me to come. The benefit of having only one child is that you have the flexibility and opportunity to be more focused on their lives. I had several only child friends growing up and it was the same, that is one of the reasons I only had one child.

Second I know the show glossed over it but I'm pretty sure Amy had been nannying for one family and babysitting for others for several years. I have nannied myself for several stints over the past 20-25 years, especially when I was laid off at different points in my career. (I have two undergraduate degrees and my masters and have worked different industries (changing when the others became obsolete)). Nannying can pay very well. I just forced myself to give up my last nannying gig of 3 years to get my 'real' career back on track. I was making more nannying and it is mostly a cash arrangement. Especially in a rural area it would be a 'good' job for a young woman. Would you rather she be like Whitney Bates and have a college degree and work at Sonic?

I don't think that being a nanny is a bad career choice but I just never got the impression that Amy really took it seriously. It was more like "I nanny for a few families part time" which sounded more like babysitting on an as needed basis.

Speaking of nannying jobs, If Michael Bates works as a nanny does that mean that the family she nanny's for has a full time working mom? How can the Duggars or the Bates justify doing "nanny" work for a heathen working mother? Or are they what I have heard called a "mother's helper" where they go into a home when Mom is there or busy running some of the little ones here and there and they help out?

[Georgiana]

I don't think that being a nanny is a bad career choice but I just never got the impression that Amy really took it seriously. It was more like "I nanny for a few families part time" which sounded more like babysitting on an as needed basis.

Speaking of nannying jobs, If Michael Bates works as a nanny does that mean that the family she nanny's for has a full time working mom? How can the Duggars or the Bates justify doing "nanny" work for a heathen working mother? Or are they what I have heard called a "mother's helper" where they go into a home when Mom is there or busy running some of the little ones here and there and they help out?

Like Zsu's "Navajo Nanny"!

[roddma]

IMO over 90% of todays singers cannot sing or at least only average. J Lopez never sings live. Rihanna admitted to have never taken a vocal lesson. I read Taylor Swift sings flat and off key on stage. .And I wont even get started on Justin Bieber. It seems to be the 'look' people like and that gets promoted. That means Amy has as good as chance as any except she should leave country music alone.

[RosyDaisy]

Taylor Swift did a phenomenal job with Def Leppard on a episode of CMT's Crossroads.

[Meloncollie]

IMO over 90% of todays singers cannot sing or at least only average. J Lopez never sings live. Rihanna admitted to have never taken a vocal lesson. I read Taylor Swift sings flat and off key on stage. .And I wont even get started on Justin Bieber. It seems to be the 'look' people like and that gets promoted. That means Amy has as good as chance as any except she should leave country music alone.

Yes - a device called "Auto-tune" - a pretty amazing thing - will process someone singing (say, badly and out of tune) and automatically tune and improve it . I think it can even work on live singing. This technology is totally different from regular sound mixing which is done manually by a recording engineer, and just layers multiple voices on top of each other producing a richer sound. Auto-tune can take someone who is pretty darn terrible and make them sound like Barbra Streisand. Paris Hilton even recorded a CD and it sounded pretty good. NO, I didn't buy it. I loved Wilson Philips in the 80s and listening to them now, they were probably autotuned also which makes me kind of mad, actually, because I thought they were genuine. Old recordings of Johnny Cash and Motown are priceless - think Etta James singing "At Last" - because they were real, from the heart emotional singing by people with actual talent.

Regarding Miss Amy, I"m thinking you all are right. If anybody thought she had "the look" and something marketable, some agent/producer/promoter would snap her up in a heartbeat, give her a contract, rearrange her face, plug her into an autotune machine and work her like a horse to make some bucks.

I'm all for people following their dreams, particularly in the arts. Most people don't get to be stars however can get satisfaction as singer songwriters through doing what they love, performing locally for small groups and their loyal fans, or even church I guess. If Amy is all about the music and not being a star, maybe that's what she'll do. Music ministry is a wonderful thing!