Sarah Maxwell lays a guilt trip on people who are pro-choice

[Jana814]

Not surprisingly, Sarah's post is the argument of a childlike, uneducated mind.

Agree! They only side she sees is her father's. Who dosen't allow his children to form their own opinions.

[anjulibai]

I think if they really cared about these precious fetuses, they'd adopt as many as they could, or make their ministry about helping women and families care for their children.

But they do not. They just want to feel superior.

[floridiot]

Oh, I am so sick of the "women who have abortions are uneducated, soulless sluts" rhetoric.

Abortion sucks. There, I said it. I am a pro-choice feminist, by the way. But it sucks. I know because I had one. It is not something anyone should take lightly, so judging someone for having one or even just considering it is emotional cruelty. The emotional toll it takes on a woman cannot be measured. It has affected my life in numerous ways, even if I am considered one of the "lucky" few who do NOT regret my decision. But it was a gut-wrenching, painful ordeal to go through (largely alone, at that) at a young age and to live with now as an adult. Still, if I had to choose again, I would choose the same thing.

I was not a slut. I was a well-behaved and educated shy girl from a happy, functional, middle-classed family in the suburbs. I had two great parents that loved me and would have given their lives to take away my pain had I had the guts to tell them their only daughter had gotten pregnant by the first boy she had slept with. Even if that boy was fully prepared for whatever option I chose AND is now her husband...and we are still as in love at 31 and 33 as we were as naive virgins at 15 and 17. But I felt I couldnt tell them I was pregnant so that's what I chose. If anything, THAT is the only part I regret. Keeping it a secret (from my mom, specifically, as we have always been close). She only found out pretty recently after I had discussed it with my therapist and realized I had no reason to holdback anymore. My husband and I have two kids now and an amazing life. When we look back there are not many regrets. we have come to accept that our story is flawed and rife with a few painful memories, but the good has always outnumbered the bad and we have overcome each one TOGETHER.

[sonja_kat]

Sarah Maxwell, go sit down somewhere. Hard.

I'm so sick of these self righteous idiots who think that they experts on every freaking thing!!!!!!!! Sick.Of.It. How dare this adult-child cast aspersions on women who have to make such a hard decision in their lives. Someone who never had to work for a damn thing is trying to guilt trip/judge women with real life issues? SPARE ME. Go make some bean filled burritos and have a seat on all the toilets in AMERICA, Sarah.

And to everyone who feel icky about bringing up rape, Sarah needs to consider the realities of life outside of her Steve colored glasses. And I know that they read here. Life isn't as black and white as her father wants her and other idiotic people to believe. They get to cast everyone outside of their compound as the scum of the earth, but we're supposed to dance around her feelings? BULL EXCREMENT. I hope no one ever has to experience the AGONY and downright DEGRADATION of rape, not to mention the potential life that may be conceived via such a vile act. But dammit it happens. And how dare this twit who probably can't pick out her own damn underwear judge any woman. And unless her pappy is holding a gun to her head, making her write this post, she deserves every bit of disdain.

/rant.

[whoviana]

I haven't been following any of these freaks for a good while and to be frank, I've been quite happy without the daily dose of craziness. But the fact that a 33-yo spinster virgin womanchild DARES shitpost a load of crap condemning women in crisis from inside her cotton candy filled dollhouse, made me lose it. I left her a message. She didn't post it, what a surprise. If they SO love those zygotes growing inside other people's bodies, why don't they ever adopt a child but keep forcing people like Christina to keep having risky pregnancy after risky pregnancy, C-section after C-section, risk her life all the time, risk leaving her bunch of children motherless, why don't they ever adopt?

She celebrates her sad birthday as a virgin and right after that she reminds us quickly who she is: a stuck up, self righteous pampered baby girl of a fundie leader with vile beliefs, and cannot shut her trap about other people's business. I, personally would like to bitch-slap some sense into that air-filled head of hers.

Go back to writing your stupid books, sarah, or if you want to keep your holier than thou mentality, go out of your cotton candy life and volunteer at a women's shelter and wake up to fucking reality! BITCH!

[Handmaiden of Dog]

My grandmother's abortion story is a good example of why abortion needs to stay legal.

My grandfather was a minister in the Methodist church. He and grandmother had 6 children during the depression. His salary wasn't big but they got by. Then he developed a cancerous growth on his brain. In the couple of years between diagnosis and death it changed his personality and he became a violent man who could no longer work. There was little the medical profession could do for him; he was eventually locked up in an asylum where he died of starvation.

There was only a tiny pension for his widow and that didn't even start until he died, so grandmother got a job and the oldest son dropped out of high school to help support the family. At some point (I don't know the details of how or when) grandmother got pregnant again. A close family friend who was a doctor kindly offered to give her a D&C in his office. She accepted gratefully so that she could continue to work. She was so very lucky to have that family friend who was willing to help her out.

The rich will always have access to abortions even if they have to leave the country. Legal, safe abortions are needed for those who don't have the money and connections.

[FundieWatcher]

If abortion is made illegal in the US, I predict an increase of "tourism" to Mexico and Canada. Maybe they will take pity and give us discounts. :/

[whoviana]

The rich will always have access to abortions even if they have to leave the country. Legal, safe abortions are needed for those who don't have the money and connections.

My goodness... THIS!

I once was in a horrible situation. I literally had to move to another continent in order to be able to get rid of someone before he would kill me (like he told me he would, many times) and I was pregnant. In that part of the world, there were very few countries were they could perform an abortion.

I traveled to a country where there was an abortion clinic right in the slums. I sat in my funky smelling hotel room knowing they won't give me any anesthesia. I offered to pay more, they said they just couldn't, because the clinic was funded by, I think, the Catholic church (really!) and I would have been awake the whole time, under heaven knows what circumstances. I sobbed in that hotel room for about an hours, then got a hold of myself, used ALL my miles to get a ticket back to my country where they perform abortions under humane circumstances and paid for it with a credit card.

I would have never brought that kid to the world. I could not imagine being awake during an abortion with no anesthesia. But literally millions of women don't have any other option. They took good care of me in the hospital, I was asleep during the procedure, after that they put blankets on me, put painkillers and other meds to prevent me from vomiting, having cramps etc. into my iv, I was treated to a meal, they NEVER questioned my decision. I thing ALL women in the world should have access to safe, humane abortion without anyone questioning their decision or trying to dissuade them. Women don't owe an explanation to anyone, even though there is a profound and "valid" explanation to all of these stories, and they for sure aren't fun. Women around the world don't just undergo these, very often dangerous procedures for fun. Most of the times, it's a life-saver for them. And sheltered little c*nts like this Moody Bitch, don't know the last thing about what it's like to be a woman in crisis. I so would like to slap her face around and make her help out in a shelter and see what life is like beyond that sheltered little world of hers.

If this is how she compensates for being a virgin with no life forever, it's pathetic and outrageous.

[whoviana]

If abortion is made illegal in the US, I predict an increase of "tourism" to Mexico and Canada. Maybe they will take pity and give us discounts. :/

Interestingly, both places I visited belonged to the Mary Stopes institutes. Both the one that made me flee, and the one where I actually had a safe abortion with the most gentle, modern and humane methods. These clinics must be supported, via these clinics women in crisis are being supported. And the ones that depend on them. The ones in developing countries, they really need to be funded in order to be able to provide women at least with some comfort after all the horrors they go through. I think anesthesia, pain meds are the minimum that women should receive and these clinics should be equipped with the most recent devices.

[sonja_kat]

If abortion is made illegal in the US, I predict an increase of "tourism" to Mexico and Canada. Maybe they will take pity and give us discounts. :/

Yep

[Cartmann99]

If abortion is made illegal in the US, I predict an increase of "tourism" to Mexico and Canada. Maybe they will take pity and give us discounts. :/

You don't have to make it illegal, just make it where only women who live in or have reliable ransportation to a big city can get an abortion. If a woman in my town were in need of an abortion, she would have to fly or drive hundreds of miles to the nearest provider.

[WonderingInWA]

I've never known of anyone in the US since I became an adult in the 1980s that was under anesthesia for an abortion. I didn't know that was common here. A dear friend of mine had 2 -- one in a very nice clinic in a high rise in downtown Seattle in 1989 (no anesthetic) and one in a clinic in Las Vegas in 1992 (was given one Valium if she wanted it about 30 minutes before the procedure). Are there clinics that completely knock you out? I wouldn't trust that at all! Yikes.

[whoviana]

I've never known of anyone in the US since I became an adult in the 1980s that was under anesthesia for an abortion. I didn't know that was common here. A dear friend of mine had 2 -- one in a very nice clinic in a high rise in downtown Seattle in 1989 (no anesthetic) and one in a clinic in Las Vegas in 1992 (was given one Valium if she wanted it about 30 minutes before the procedure). Are there clinics that completely knock you out? I wouldn't trust that at all! Yikes.

Yep. It was in one of the clinics that belong to the Marie Stopes institutes but in that country, it's part of the procedure. They put you to sleep. I couldn't be happier that I wasn't awake... They wake you up right after the procedure that only takes some 15-20 minutes.

[sparkles]

I accompanied two of my friends when they had their abortions, one in 1971 and one in 72 (it was legal in NY pre-Roe v. Wade). I don't remember either one being knocked out; I think they were given some kind of sedation which is why they needed me on stand-by, but they were awake for the procedure. I don't think either one felt any pain, just a little discomfort and cramping afterwards. I can't imagine what their lives would have been like if abortion had been illegal since we were all still in high school. Each went on to college, successful careers, good marriages and happy, healthy children. Neither one has ever regretted her decision, which is as it should be.

ETA, to check my memory, I just googled the clinic that treated my friends. It was one of the clinics founded by abortion rights activist Bill Baird and apparently was also nation's first nonprofit birth control/abortion facility, staffed by doctors providing free reproductive health care. This is one case where I can definitely say "bring back the good old days."

[whoviana]

Yes, it's a life saver. That's why it was supposed to be available and affordable to all women. But what does a 33yo virgin know about women's issues. Her biggest problem is to choose the fabric material for her bible covers.

[Georgiana]

I am happy I was awake through my abortion. Since I was raised Catholic, I had all these crazy ideas of what the abortion was going to be and all the murder and blood, and how it would be this big deal medical procedure.

And it just...wasn't.

I think inserting the IUD was more of an ordeal than the abortion itself.

I think realizing "Oh....that's it?" was a huge part of me questioning the stigma around abortion that I had been taught.

Don't get me wrong, coming to terms with it has been rough, but I really think that mostly that's been because of the social stigma build up around it. I think it's because I have gallons of spilled Catholic guilt everywhere, and because I have to keep this secret that I don't even believe is that bad. The hard part was coming to terms with how I felt everyone else would feel about me having had an abortion...not really how I felt about it myself.

I didn't want to be pregnant. I ended my pregnancy. I felt HAPPY and RELIEVED when my pregnancy was ended. But then I felt like a monster or a broken woman because I was told I should feel sad and remorseful.

Everyone will handle an abortion differently. The best thing we can do for women, IMHO, is let them know that however THEY feel about it is valid and remove any stigmas surrounding it. There's no "correct" way to feel, and you aren't an X if you don't feel Y.

The other best thing is to treat them like adults and let them make their own decisions regarding their bodies.

[whoviana]

I wasn't sad, I was so relieved, I was euphoric after waking up and knowing that it was OUT, it was finally out. I also suffered from crippling morning sickness all the time, with a 5-week-old thing inside of me that wasn't even reminiscent of a "baby", it was from a horrible man who was trying to gain control over my life then destroy me, and then I went to sleep then I woke up and it was out of me. I cannot describe the happiness, I don't have the words to depict the relief.

(As to anesthesia I'm a huge sissy anyway. I hate being poked, stung, pierced, cut, if it's necessary I want to be knocked out for it, so yes, for me it worked out perfectly)

[floridiot]

Mine was physically painful. I was given a mild sedative (Valium perhaps?). I would describe the pain as being exactly in the middle between a menstrual cramp and natural labor.

I should add that even though Ive never regretted my decision, I HAVE felt shame only when it has been projected upon me during the few times I have told someone about it. The first question is always, undoubtedly, "do you regret it?" And, apparently, there is only one answer to that question deemed acceptable. When I say "no", even to a person I know to be pro-choice, their body language speaks volumes. The social stigma has always been worse then my own actual feelings regarding it

[WonderingInWA]

I wasn't sad, I was so relieved, I was euphoric after waking up and knowing that it was OUT, it was finally out. I also suffered from crippling morning sickness all the time, with a 5-week-old thing inside of me that wasn't even reminiscent of a "baby", it was from a horrible man who was trying to gain control over my life then destroy me, and then I went to sleep then I woke up and it was out of me. I cannot describe the happiness, I don't have the words to depict the relief.

(As to anesthesia I'm a huge sissy anyway. I hate being poked, stung, pierced, cut, if it's necessary I want to be knocked out for it, so yes, for me it worked out perfectly)

I am a sissy, too! But I also have a fear of being knocked out and never waking up again.

[whoviana]

Between a menstrual cramp and labor pains? My menstrual cramps, unless prevented by huge loads of painkillers the moment I begin to feel them, send me into a pain frenzy, I have cramps so bad that I become violently sick and (sorry) diarrhea ridden. I don't know what is beyond that, all I know is that I end up in the ER. I cannot imagine going trough with it PLUS handling the mental burden of being under surgery.

[floridiot]

Between a menstrual cramp and labor pains? My menstrual cramps, unless prevented by huge loads of painkillers the moment I begin to feel them, send me into a pain frenzy, I have cramps so bad that I become violently sick and (sorry) diarrhea ridden. I don't know what is beyond that, all I know is that I end up in the ER. I cannot imagine going trough with it PLUS handling the mental burden of being under surgery.

Yikes! I've never had cramps worse then just being a mild annoyance. I've only had to take Midol a handful of times in my life. Before I had kids if someone described labor as being comparable to "severe menstrual cramps", that always made me feel like "Hmmm not so bad then!" bc I had always been lucky in that area. Then I had my son...and wow (after a botched epidural) I was NOT prepared for that pain!!!

[whoviana]

One of my friends had a botched epidural, and she says that the entire left side of her body (scalp, face, eye, arm, leg etc involved go NUMB several times a day and her kid is already five.

Some people are afraid of epidurals (ME!!!) (I'm seriously horrified of having my spine poked) others are afraid of being knocked out.

I have no kids yet, and I cannot imagine what can be worse than vomiting, having your guts twisted with the cramps, and have your uterus try to kill you. I've been like this since I was in 6th grade. All my organs look normal, but I never know when am I going to wake up to a crazy purge-party with pains that break all scales. I'm on the pill all the time, I'll go pregnant from right off the pill, probably have a C-section then go on the pill again.

But I don't want to derail the topic so screw you Sarah!!! Steve you too!

[Jana814]

But what does a 33yo virgin know about women's issues. Her biggest problem is to choose the fabric material for her bible covers.

Got that right!!

[Emme]

If abortion is made illegal in the US, I predict an increase of "tourism" to Mexico and Canada. Maybe they will take pity and give us discounts. :/

The sad part is, there are SO many women who can't afford that kind of "tourism". That's why I donate to organizations that help women do things like pay for childcare, hotels, or gas to get to clinics that are far (thanks Republicans, for passing legislation that closed abortion clinics in so many states). God forbid abortion becomes illegal, I would absolutely donate money to fly a woman to another country to get an abortion.

[whoviana]

This, so much. I cannot imagine what it feels like, carrying an unwanted kid to term when every inch of your body cringes at the thought of having it inside of you. I'd pay just to make sure other women have access to a safe abortion in a good place.