Possible options for the Duggar children

[Sundaymorning]

After the threads about Josh and the other older kids and how much get clearly got screwed over by their parents, I was wondering, if you were a Duggar over 18, what would you do?

 

Imagine that it would somehow dawn on you that maybe Gothard and your parents might not be right on all the things they do, and that there might be another life out there for you. And that, if you keep on living the way you live now, your options and future look pretty dim. What could you do?

 

Sure, you could make a run and write a tell-all book. But what if you didn't want to burn all bridges with your family and also didn't want to destroy the Duggar gravy train aka TLC show?

 

I think Josh would have it the easiest. He could keep his job at this hate group known as FRC and take some evening classes in order to have better prospects once he will need to find new job. And after 4 kids, he could tell Anna that they will take a break trying to have more children.

If I were Jana, I'd somehow try to move in with Josh and Anna. Maybe she could take some college classes from there. But for Jana, it would be hard to escape right now.

Jill and Jessa could also take some college classes and Jessa could tell Ben to finish college and take some classes that will make him somewhat employable (like accounting).

[VelociRapture]

After the threads about Josh and the other older kids and how much get clearly got screwed over by their parents, I was wondering, if you were a Duggar over 18, what would you do?

Imagine that it would somehow dawn on you that maybe Gothard and your parents might not be right on all the things they do, and that there might be another life out there for you. And that, if you keep on living the way you live now, your options and future look pretty dim. What could you do?

Sure, you could make a run and write a tell-all book. But what if you didn't want to burn all bridges with your family and also didn't want to destroy the Duggar gravy train aka TLC show?

I think Josh would have it the easiest. He could keep his job at this hate group known as FRC and take some evening classes in order to have better prospects once he will need to find new job. And after 4 kids, he could tell Anna that they will take a break trying to have more children.

If I were Jana, I'd somehow try to move in with Josh and Anna. Maybe she could take some college classes from there. But for Jana, it would be hard to escape right now.

Jill and Jessa could also take some college classes and Jessa could tell Ben to finish college and take some classes that will make him somewhat employable (like accounting).

Josh has the benefit of distance on his side - it is much tougher to control someone when they aren't nearby. However, he is married to a woman who still seems to follow what she was raised to believe and he makes a living by spouting those same beliefs. He could quietly try to take courses at a college, but that's assuming he has the educational background necessary for being admitted. We know they lack skills in science and probably lack skills in other areas as well. So, in Josh's case, I seriously doubt he will be able to break free easily.

As for the married girls, I doubt either of them have the skills, educational background, or motivation to earn a college education. I do believe that having husbands who have a college education could make things easier for them to leave, but only if they want to leave.

The rest of the kids are pretty much stuck as far as I can tell. Unless they are able to make a run for it and stay with a sympathetic family member that is - I doubt Deanna or Amy would help because they care too much about their family. And I don't know if the kids are close enough to Michelle's family for them to intervene.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

If I was a Duggar over 18, I would probably be doing what the Duggars who are over 18 are doing. I mean, we have the advantage of looking at their family as outsiders, we know what they "should" or "could" do. They don't have that advantage. Plus, lets be honest, as long as TLC is around, what purpose do any of them have in rocking the boat?

[Becket70]

Though we don't know for sure if they do, it would be nice if those kids (and adults) in the family would find a subject they are interested in and become a "student" of it on their own. My brother never went to college (he was in the Marines and then transferred his service skills to a position in the aviation industry) but he is a student of WWII. He reads volumes about it and knows details of the battles, theaters and, of course, the planes. Mr. Becket is interested in volcanoes and does tons of reading about them. Why couldn't Jim Bob nurture some curiosity in those kids so, even though they don't have advanced educations, they can still study and learn just for the pure joy of it. Maybe some of the kids who went to space camp would like to study the history of NASA and the space program. There is a never-ending supply of interesting topics. Does everything they do have to be God-centric? How sad.

[IronicallyMaeve]

I would pretend Jesus wanted me to be a pediatric nurse. "I been praying about it real hard, and God wants me take to take care of children, like Miracle Josie. I kin take some classes at the community college. Of course, until God finds me the perfect husband, I'll live here, in a Godly home." Then I'd book it as soon as I got a job.

[straygoldfish]

If I was a Duggar over 18, I would probably be doing what the Duggars who are over 18 are doing. I mean, we have the advantage of looking at their family as outsiders, we know what they "should" or "could" do. They don't have that advantage. Plus, lets be honest, as long as TLC is around, what purpose do any of them have in rocking the boat?

I agree. We're looking at it from an outsider's perspective. These kids have been raised to believe that any deviation from what their parents taught and expect is a sin and a one-way ticket to hell. When you have that looming over your head, it's hard to go rogue.

[Sundaymorning]

I'm asking these questions cause I really feel for these kidults. They are stuck between a rock and a hard place. One the one hand, they still support horrible cult beliefs which cause a lot of harm to other people, on the other hand, what would their realistic options be to break out of this hell?

It's easy for us to say how horrible it is that they are still working for the FRC, still posting stupid shit on instagram and so on. And of course, their actions really suck.

But would they even have a practicable way out?

[JHeathen]

I'm asking these questions cause I really feel for these kidults. They are stuck between a rock and a hard place. One the one hand, they still support horrible cult beliefs which cause a lot of harm to other people, on the other hand, what would their realistic options be to break out of this hell?

It's easy for us to say how horrible it is that they are still working for the FRC, still posting stupid shit on instagram and so on. And of course, their actions really suck.

But would they even have a practicable way out?

Well, exactly, they can't just take one of the family vehicles and drive away into the unknown. We don't know if they even have their own bank accounts or if J"Chelle keeps it all together (was it her who said she kept their money for them, like a bank would, and kept all their additions and subtractions in a big bank register?

Seriously, I was an abused child and had fantasies and very realistic dreams at night about running away for as long as I can remember. But my dad was a cop and my parents were excellent liars, and I knew if I ran away before the age of 18, I would just be returned home if found. I got an after-school job as soon as I was allowed, so I saved like crazy and bided my time until my 18th birthday. These kids...they might not have ANY access to their money. No option to get out. I ran to my grandmother's house...I don't think they would have a "safe" place to go. They don't have unlimited Internet access, so they wouldn't know of any resources/help groups.

Also, if they leave the compound under such circumstances, they lose their whole family and their friends. This is why cults isolate people.

[SassyPants]

Well, exactly, they can't just take one of the family vehicles and drive away into the unknown. We don't know if they even have their own bank accounts or if J"Chelle keeps it all together (was it her who said she kept their money for them, like a bank would, and kept all their additions and subtractions in a big bank register?

Seriously, I was an abused child and had fantasies and very realistic dreams at night about running away for as long as I can remember. But my dad was a cop and my parents were excellent liars, and I knew if I ran away before the age of 18, I would just be returned home if found. I got an after-school job as soon as I was allowed, so I saved like crazy and bided my time until my 18th birthday. These kids...they might not have ANY access to their money. No option to get out. I ran to my grandmother's house...I don't think they would have a "safe" place to go. They don't have unlimited Internet access, so they wouldn't know of any resources/help groups.

Also, if they leave the compound under such circumstances, they lose their whole family and their friends. This is why cults isolate people.

The access to money is key.

I doubt that TLC pays JB and he immediately doles out the money to each working person. I think JB controls all the money. He knows each person's currency and uses that to keep them all in line. Homes for Jill and Jessa+ their spouses, plane for JD's use (sometimes), a connection in DC for Josh. Probably a small allowance for all those 18+ years old and still living at the TTH. The rest, food, a dorm room and the occasional pat on the head.

J'slaves for Michelle, so she can avoid doing any real work.

[CorruptionInc.]

The Duggars are also expert grifters... I bet they can talk people into gifts if they were "poor"; Look at the wedding and baby registries - items were purchased by deluded fundies and fans, and a few joke purchases from those at FJ for good measure. :)

[Feberin]

I can't see Jill attending college. If she was going to continue with studies then she would continue doing her midwife training instead of dropping it when she got married then pregnant. I read in another thread that part of what she needs to do is written exams so there is no reason that her pregnancy would restrict her from studying and taking the tests. Plus she's going to have a baby soon and most likely will be pregnant again.

I actually think short of running away any of the kids wanting to take community college classes would be turned down. Instead I think they're going to have to look towards career options that don't require too much education. I could see some of the boys going into real estate, missionary work, opening another car lot or some sort of business like Lawson Bates' lawn care one. Perhaps if they get lucky some might manage to find jobs similar to Josh in a political field based on their fame. I don't think any of the girls are going to have careers without leaving home.

But honestly right now they aren't in a bad place financially with TLC and the show is doing well ratings wise. I don't see it ending for a couple more years at least. And even when it does end they'll still have enough recognition to be able to do things like write books or do paid visits to churches. I wouldn't be surprised if we get a book about courtship from them soon probably written from their married children's perspective.

[JHeathen]

Thankfully they have plenty of money lying around, so if each of the boys decide they want a business...dry-cleaning, pest control, restaurant...the capital will be there for them. The girls are just SOL.

[JHeathen]

...But honestly right now they aren't in a bad place financially with TLC and the show is doing well ratings wise. I don't see it ending for a couple more years at least. And even when it does end they'll still have enough recognition to be able to do things like write books or do paid visits to churches. I wouldn't be surprised if we get a book about courtship from them soon probably written from their married children's perspective.

I wonder if the bunch o' boys behind Joy will "write" a book about courtship from a male perspective when they get a little older? I would guess the field is wide open and they already know what to expect from a book tour.

[Toothfairy]

I would probably keep my mouth shut play along. If the tv show was still there I would wait until it's over, no way I'm leaving now that I can get freebies and don't have to starve. Maybe if I get courted I will do the same thing Jill and Jessa did and get gifts from viewers. I wouldn't get pregnant right away. I would just tell JimChelle that I'm trying and praying but nothing is happening while using condoms or bc. If I'm stuck at home raising siblings, I would tell daddy that I got a calling. A calling to help people. Maybe I can do mission trips. Or tell JimChelle I got a calling to go to college or become a nun. Or get approved jobs like babysitting. I can't imagine sitting at home doing nothing with my life. I would keep my thoughts to myself and plan on what to do next. Maybe reach out to my sister in laws siblings if I really want to get away. But then I would have to sacrifice the relationship with my children (siblings) I've raised. Tough call.

[DefrauderDaughter]

I honestly have no idea what I would do. I'd keep drinking the Kool-Aid while TLC was there and (fair warning, I'm one of those girls who's goal in life is to get married and be a mom, so a career isn't super important to me. I know I'm the anomaly though!) actively seek out a guy to court and marry really quickly to get out.

But if someone like Ben came along, I'd run for the hills. There'd be no way I was going to marry that child.

As much as we'd all love to see the kids write a tell-all, I would hate for them to experience the severance of familial relationships because of it, so I probably wouldn't do that if I was them.