Hilarious List of Dont's For Christian Men Looking For Wife

[freejingerbeth]

nycpastor.com/2014/12/29/10-women-christian-men-should-not-marry/

My daughter shared this on Facebook. According to this list, she is a complete fail, as a perspective wife for this particular brand of Christian men. All I can say is, "Thank Goddess!" :cracking-up:

[jerkit]

I want to know what the age difference limit is. Is a day older acceptable or is determined by year you were born?

[littlemommy]

I would totally email this to Robert, but he'll just see it for himself when he coasts in to check up on us.

In Christ, Littlemommy

[EyeQueue]

Number 2 is so assbackwards. So, if a woman divorces her husband (unless he has been getting it on on the side), she's good to go for a second marriage. But, if she initiates the divorce for any other reason (presumably including abuse), she's a dirty whore that can't achieve everlasting salvation, so don't marry her.

Also, it says nothing about a man divorcing the woman. So, if a man divorces his wife for any reason other than his own adultery, the woman cannot then move on to another marriage without burning in the pits of Hell?

:pull-hair:

[ExMW]

[fade][/fade]

Number 2 is so assbackwards. So, if a woman divorces her husband (unless he has been getting it on on the side), she's good to go for a second marriage. But, if she initiates the divorce for any other reason (presumably including abuse), she's a dirty whore that can't achieve everlasting salvation, so don't marry her.

Also, it says nothing about a man divorcing the woman. So, if a man divorces his wife for any reason other than his own adultery, the woman cannot then move on to another marriage without burning in the pits of Hell?

:pull-hair:

I still live with the ramifications of #2 20 years and another marriage later! I have relatives that still won't speak to me because of the heinous sin of divorce! :cray-cray:

That is one hell of a list - and way too familiar. The church I was raised in was big on all of that crap. A man should only date a 'true believer' who believed and acted just as the rest of the church did. :evil-eye:

[KittenMitten]

But she did offer a place to click for instructions to ensure heaven tomorrow. By that list, I'm in trouble. Oh well.

[LovelyLuna]

Well I’m out. I want kids eventually, but I use Ebil birth control so taken in context I’m all of them. Mr. LL is 13 months younger then me. :lol:

[salex]

Number 2 is so assbackwards. So, if a woman divorces her husband (unless he has been getting it on on the side), she's good to go for a second marriage. But, if she initiates the divorce for any other reason (presumably including abuse), she's a dirty whore that can't achieve everlasting salvation, so don't marry her.

Also, it says nothing about a man divorcing the woman. So, if a man divorces his wife for any reason other than his own adultery, the woman cannot then move on to another marriage without burning in the pits of Hell?

:pull-hair:

Once upon a time, an inlaw explained these verses. Only men were allowed to remarry, even in the case of adultery, per his interpretation. His father had been living with another woman part time then nearly full time for years, after more years of having other affairs consistently. Said inlaw said that his mother was ineligible to remarry, because those verse are just for men. A man can divorce a woman who cheats and if he remarries, his sin is on her head. A man who cheats-- well his wife still can't divorce him, since the verse is about men, and if she does, she can't remarry without adultery. :?

My dad, an anti divorce sunday school teacher said "Well, remember those verses were aimed at desert tribesmen who viewed and treated their wives like property... so I'd say that isn't exactly a workable plan.

A while later, same inlaw's daughter was divorced (wretched marriage, she was as much at fault as he, he had an affair and let her know about it so she would/could divorce him at their church--then he promptly became an atheist) Oddly enough, his daughter was allowed to remarry (to a Christian man with 2 previous marriages) and goes to the inlaw's same uber fundie church.

Funny that.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

The male version of the list is all stuff like "the addict" and "the liar." So a woman is out of line if she's too talkative or likes to travel, but all a man has to do is not be a cheating alcoholic!

[stardust]

I found it more sad than hilarious. Like a lot of others on this site, I was bought up Christian (and still consider myself a Christian) and it just makes me so sad that there are people who think like this. It's even worse for me because I'm one of those people who do not want to get married or have kids. As I've gotten older I've started to see the appeal of marriage but I never ever want children and I've always known that.

I don't get hounded for it that much because I'm only 19, but in a few years down the road if I do decide to get married I won't be able to stand people badgering me about kids. This is why people dislike Christianity. Not every woman wants children and marriage and some women want one or the other. Not every woman wants both!

[DGayle]

Number 2 is so assbackwards. So, if a woman divorces her husband (unless he has been getting it on on the side), she's good to go for a second marriage. But, if she initiates the divorce for any other reason (presumably including abuse), she's a dirty whore that can't achieve everlasting salvation, so don't marry her.

Also, it says nothing about a man divorcing the woman. So, if a man divorces his wife for any reason other than his own adultery, the woman cannot then move on to another marriage without burning in the pits of Hell?

:pull-hair:

If a man divorced her, she's probably supposed to be like Henry VIII's first wife, and go life a life somewhere else while still devoted to her ex-husband.

[nelliebelle1197]

Sounds like Natty Darnell's ideal mate.

[DGayle]

1) Devout atheist. Point against me.

2) Married 1x, to my husband, so point for me.

3) Older woman? Yes, yes. I'm old enough to remember when MTV first was on the air. He wasn't born. Point against.

4) Feminist? I should get a few points.

5) Sexy-dresser. Sometimes. Point against anyway.

6) Loud-mouth. No shit, I'm a loudmouth. Proudly. Against.

7) Child-hater. Nope. I love mine dearly.

8) Wanter Luster. Strange thing, I don't care to travel out much.

9) Career woman. Yes.

10) The Devotion-less Woman is redundant because non-believers won't do this. I guess another point against me anyway.

I'm a -4. Cool.

[Burris]

You'd think someone like me would be first on that list and I don't even place, since most of the points don't deal with past sins or with character flaws but rather with minutiae that would disqualify every non-virginal woman over the age of 18.

1) I actually do believe in God - which is off, because one would think I should totally be an atheist by now. I have a well-marked Bible which I read often - the good parts and the bad. I understand it more or less in the same way as John Wesley did, but with a lot more access to scientific knowledge. It's a mixture of explanatory myth that casts light on both the good and the bad in human nature. And while atheists may not agree with my, especially given the kind of creature I am, reading the Bible and meditating on both the good and the bad has made me, perhaps, a better person than I once was.

2) I'm not divorced and doubt I ever will be. Were I, however, then why the hell would I want to get on intimidate terms with a man who sees me as damaged goods? He can go fuck himself.

3) God forbid that a woman have an advantage whatsoever over her husband, including age. He's allegedly a natural leader and yet lists like this encourage him to find every opportunity he can to find a woman no where near his equal. (Some of these lists say, for example, not to marry women who weigh more than you do or who are more educated). Apparently a man can't lead unless he has every advantage even though proponents of this shit claim men are just naturally more inclined for leadership. If nature were such, then age and education would make no difference: Women would follow their genetic imperative to submit just as naturally as we follow the imperative to breathe.

4) God forbid the woman you marry should see herself as a fellow human being worthy of respect and capable of actually contributing to the family. I guess when fundies use the term "help meet" they really mean "brood mare" when a woman is of child-bearing age and "heavy sack of rotten meat" once she has passed her expiry date.

Seriously - as if these men need to worry about marrying feminists, when in reality most self-respecting feminists would have no interest in such men as these.

5) If she dresses with care, the woman thinks too highly of herself to be your mindless plaything. Avoid her.

6) In truth, men talk more than women and are just as apt to gossip. Instead of calling the woman who passes on sensitive information a loudmouth, she should be called untrustworthy - but apparently hearing her voice above a crowd is worse than her whispering things she was told in confidence.

7) If a man does not want children, it is best that he should marry a woman who feels the same. Telling men and women they're wrong for failing to continue in the Quiverfull quest to overburden the world is not only misguided but also an invasion of the couple's privacy.

8) As is the case with number three, a man should avoid any woman who has seen more than he has or/and who wants to continue learning through travel. God created the world so QF families can stay in Arkansas and bring down the state IQ, rather than to explore the world.

9) See number three - and may God have mercy on those idiots if the breadwinner becomes disabled of if he dies - especially if he dies when the women is older and thus off the shelf according to the standards of this list.

10) Oh, I pray. Some are even answered - but that raises even more questions. If these is a God who does answer some prayer, then why did this being not prevent all the evil people have done to one another.

But then I guess asking a question such as that would disqualify me from the fundie marriage material list.

Here's a better list, for both genders:

1) Don't marry an abuser. No, your love and support will not change the other person.

2) Don't marry a penny pincher or a greedy person; one who lacks charity.

3) Don't marry someone cruel to animals. That kind of cruelty mars, and it affects human relationships. Stay way clear of such.

4) Don't marry someone who sees you as less than his or her equal.

5) Don't marry a serial adulterer.

ETA: 6) Don't marry an incurious person who had no desire to learn.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Oh this guy is nice, I enjoyed his all babies who die go to hell post:

nycpastor.com/2015/01/04/where-do-dead-babies-go/

[Burris]

Oh this guy is nice, I enjoyed his all babies who die go to hell post:

nycpastor.com/2015/01/04/where-do-dead-babies-go/

He's so arrogant he thinks he knows the answer, and so cruel he thinks the answer is that babies go to hell. He should remember that passage in the Bible about how God measures people by how those people measure others.

[DGayle]

Oh this guy is nice, I enjoyed his all babies who die go to hell post:

nycpastor.com/2015/01/04/where-do-dead-babies-go/

Not a single commenter agrees with him. Good.

[KittenMitten]

Skimmed through NYCPastor. Oh, my. What a horrible creature. Does anyone go to his church?

[Bugnyou]

It would seem that he thinks infants who die go to hell. Sad, sad man.

[jerkit]

He's so purposefully inflammatory that I wonder if he's a Poe

[Cartmann99]

Oh this guy is nice, I enjoyed his all babies who die go to hell post:

nycpastor.com/2015/01/04/where-do-dead-babies-go/

I hope this wretched man has no congregation. Imagine a couple dealing with the death of their infant or young child going to him for pastoral counseling. :(

[Firiel]

He's so purposefully inflammatory that I wonder if he's a Poe

I was wondering that too. Few denominations believe that ALL dead babies go to hell. I don't even think many (any?) of our fundies would claim this.

[jerkit]

I was wondering that too. Few denominations believe that ALL dead babies go to hell. I don't even think many (any?) of our fundies would claim this.

And the part at the beginning of the "bad wife qualities" article talks about sharing on FB to get people talking or something like that.

Never mind. I was mistaken.

[PennySycamore]

I've never been divorced, love kids (although I'm glad mine are grown) and don't dress particularly sexy, but yeah, I'm pretty much everything else.

[Rachel333]

I was wondering that too. Few denominations believe that ALL dead babies go to hell. I don't even think many (any?) of our fundies would claim this.

I dunno, I actually know people who seem relatively normal who believe that dead babies go to hell. Everyone is sinful, even babies. I've even seen someone use the fact that fetuses have been observed masturbating as evidence that even in the womb babies can sin.