Miss Raquel's "mission" trip

[formergothardite]

I want to discuss Miss Raquel's "mission" trip to Peru. This is her second trip there and it pretty much seems like a two week vacation. I can't tell what she is supposed to be doing besides hanging out with teen boys and basking in their adoration. I cannot help but think that no reputable missions organization would not allow Raquel to go and behave the way she is behaving. IMO she is crossing the line into behaving in completely inappropriate ways.

 

Keep in mind when reading this she is talking about teen boys. There does appear to be some younger children there, but most of her pictures are of teenagers, so I suspect she stuck with them.

 

For dinner, the boys mingle with the team at nine different tables, and that first night, mine filled up the quickest. My heart was so happy.

 

Of course Raquel has to brag about how they all love her the best.

 

the weeks I was there were spent, literally, just being with them. Loving on them, teasing them, laughing, playing cards, writing with chalk, drawing pictures, going on walks and hikes, a water balloon fight, taking pictures, playing games, watching Guardians of the Galaxy, tickle fights, and many, many hugs.

 

I stayed up till 2 a.m. whispering in the dark with one of my boys. And he fell asleep on my shoulder as I stroked his hair.

 

I kept hugging one of the boys (who calls me ‘hermanita’ – sister) and telling him it felt so right and perfect to be back in Kusi. He smiled and told me he was glad I was back too. And that he had missed me.

 

This fifteen-year-old boy called me out on a habit I didn’t even know I had. He tested my patience, pushed me to a limit, seemed demanding sometimes, appeared to others as a bit violent, didn’t express or show affection easily, and rarely smiled. But I loved him. And I knew he needed love. It took a couple days but after we got over the little bumps, we were inseparable. And he smiled when he was around me. He smiled in the pictures I took with him. He started showing affection, too. Held my hand, hugged me, wanted me to sit with him, and even grabbed my arm and put it around his shoulders.

 

Apparently there was one boy who didn't automatically adore her and took some time to warm up to her.

 

Raquel's "mission" trips really do not seem healthy for the boys at the boys homes she visits. She bounces in, showers them with love and affection and then bounces right back out in a week or so.

 

god-sdaughter.blogspot.com/

[ILoveJellybeans]

I think Raquel is being innapropriate. Its weird for someone to stay up til 2am with a teenage boy, and stroke his hair until they fall asleep together, all the hugging and affectionate stuff with teen boys she barely knows. This would be okay if she was talking about cuddling little toddlers and stuff, but between 15 year olds and immature young adults, it seems wrong. Like its more of a crush kind of thing.

[formergothardite]

She made one of "her boys" her man crush Monday. :?

http://instagram.com/p/xw3senw4S6/?modal=true

I am 100% sure that Raquel would not go on these trips if she was going to a home for teen girls.

[VVV]

I want to discuss Miss Raquel's "mission" trip to Peru. This is her second trip there and it pretty much seems like a two week vacation. I can't tell what she is supposed to be doing besides hanging out with teen boys and basking in their adoration. I cannot help but think that no reputable missions organization would not allow Raquel to go and behave the way she is behaving. IMO she is crossing the line into behaving in completely inappropriate ways.

Keep in mind when reading this she is talking about teen boys. There does appear to be some younger children there, but most of her pictures are of teenagers, so I suspect she stuck with them.

For dinner, the boys mingle with the team at nine different tables, and that first night, mine filled up the quickest. My heart was so happy.

Of course Raquel has to brag about how they all love her the best. :roll:

the weeks I was there were spent, literally, just being with them. Loving on them, teasing them, laughing, playing cards, writing with chalk, drawing pictures, going on walks and hikes, a water balloon fight, taking pictures, playing games, watching Guardians of the Galaxy, tickle fights, and many, many hugs.

I stayed up till 2 a.m. whispering in the dark with one of my boys. And he fell asleep on my shoulder as I stroked his hair.

I kept hugging one of the boys (who calls me ‘hermanita’ – sister) and telling him it felt so right and perfect to be back in Kusi. He smiled and told me he was glad I was back too. And that he had missed me.

This fifteen-year-old boy called me out on a habit I didn’t even know I had. He tested my patience, pushed me to a limit, seemed demanding sometimes, appeared to others as a bit violent, didn’t express or show affection easily, and rarely smiled. But I loved him. And I knew he needed love. It took a couple days but after we got over the little bumps, we were inseparable. And he smiled when he was around me. He smiled in the pictures I took with him. He started showing affection, too. Held my hand, hugged me, wanted me to sit with him, and even grabbed my arm and put it around his shoulders.

Apparently there was one boy who didn't automatically adore her and took some time to warm up to her.

Raquel's "mission" trips really do not seem healthy for the boys at the boys homes she visits. She bounces in, showers them with love and affection and then bounces right back out in a week or so.

god-sdaughter.blogspot.com/

Someone needs to take her aside pronto and firmly let her know that this is completely inappropriate behavior. If the "mission" organizers won't do it, the adults in at the boys' home in Peru need to. If not them, her parents. This is so far over the line that it boggles my mind. :angry-banghead:

[formergothardite]

I wonder why the adults at the boy's home allow this. I hope that most of this just happened in Raquel's mind because I can't understand why no adults intervened and told her to stop.

This is the place she goes to. They have "boys" up to the age of 21 living there.

.scriptureunionperu.org/sites/kusi/

[Belugaloo]

That is so inappropriate I do not even know where to begin! I know quite a few missionaries, and I myself have done (and will be doing) "missionary" work (I put quotes because my upcoming long-term trip overseas is not affiliated with a religious organization).... I don't know anyone who would ever think that was appropriate... EVER. (and I am actually acquainted with some of the missionaries that FJ snarks on...) I know adult missionaries who have families on the field, and I know missionaries who entered the field as teens and chose to continue working after they became 18. None of them would ever think that that behavior was appropriate and they would certainly never hesitate to call someone who was acting like that out. They'd probably disinvite that person from ever coming to serve with them again, because it is just so harmful. Honestly, most of the people/organizations I know no longer allow short-term trips to work directly in orphanages. For example, one group I know busies short-term mission teams with doing stuff around their orphanage, but they don't actually let them get in on the day-to-day care of the children because it is harmful to their emotional health.

I really wonder who Raquel is serving with, because I don't know anyone who would allow that behavior. :? :shock:

[TrueRebel1]

Wow, that is just totally inappropriate! Hugging and holding hands and stroking hair...for a 5 year old boy would be okay. NOT a teen-age boy just 3-4 years younger than you, who probably only likes you because you're a cute American girl paying him attention.

[ladyamylynn]

Wow. Hope she doesn't come back from the next trip knocked up.

[ViolaSebastian]

Tickle fights... :shock: A lot of very personal body contact can go on in tickle fights.

[Miss M]

Every single thing about her post in inappropriate!! I worked for two summers with ASP (Appalachian Service Project) and one of the first things we talked to the youth (high school kids) about was "appropriate distant with same age kids" within the families of the homes we were working on. I did have to pull a girl aside once and have a talk about the teen boy in the family and her behavior when around him, which was completely inappropriate and much like the same behavior Raquel was displaying.

We also talked about the toddlers, they are NOT pets, they are not to be carted around and petted on, we were there to work and work hard, apparently Raquel was there to further stroke her own ego!!

[formergothardite]

It is also very concerning to me that she only calls them "my boys". It is like she does not see them as individuals, but just as things she owns and that make her feel better about herself. I don't know how any adult in her life could read that blog post and not be concerned.

[salex]

A couple of the boys and I'm guessing other members of her "team"

There may have been a boy or two (she captions one pic with a boy "the oreganians"

Here is one with the "boys" not seeming as thrilled to be touched.

What is her "team's" mission? To go to Peru and take a group of kids swimming and out to eat? Couldn't that be achieved by sending a check? If all the airline ticket prices had been sent as a cash donation, how much more could have been accomplished?

[formergothardite]

Raquel and one of "her boys"

These two don't seem to be thrilled about Raquel's attention. Their faces are like "WTF is up with this crazy chick? We do not want to snuggle with you."

[treehugger]

I feel like I need brain bleach just reading that :ew:

So, so not appropriate! I am actually horrified that any agency would allow a young woman to "minister" to teenage guys. As an MK myself - and having spent all of my life around missionaries and mission organizations (including orphanages, children's homes, and schools), I don't know of a single organization that would actually allow someone of the opposite gender to spend any significant amount of time (never mind staying overnight) in an orphanage or children's home. Besides the ick factor, most of the children/teenagers who end up in those homes are from very unstable backgrounds - and have often been sexually molested or abused themselves. This is just so, so wrong!

[ViolaSebastian]

I certainly hope that first photograph isn't of one of the 'boys' with whom she's having a tickle fight. Because if I happened to walk in on those two 'tickle fighting' I'd just assume they were going at it or about to go at it.

[Miss M]

Raquel and one of "her boys"

These two don't seem to be thrilled about Raquel's attention. Their faces are like "WTF is up with this crazy chick? We do not want to snuggle with you."

The first picture with the older young man, he is not a BOY, makes me so extremely uncomfortable, he is at least as old as Raquel, and well it is just not right!!

[formergothardite]

According to the ministry website this is a home for abandoned boys and that it is estimated 90% of boys who are abandoned on the streets are sexually abused. The last thing these boys need is a person like Raquel who has no boundaries and only cares about herself. I really hope she is not able to ever go back again.

[ViolaSebastian]

I manage a lot of volunteers that provide child care services and I realize that it isn't quite the same thing as missionary work, but if I saw one of my volunteers engaging in the sort of behavior that Miss Raquel describes (tickle fights, cuddling, physically intimate behavior) with young boys or teenage boys, she'd be out on her ass faster than you can say "inappropriate." Doubly so because she's dealing with a group of teens that is high-risk in nature. Just no, Raquel, that is not okay by any stretch of the imagination.

Not only is she putting those boys in a bad position, she's also being a danger to herself and to exposing her organization to legal/ethical issues.

[ILoveJellybeans]

According to the ministry website this is a home for abandoned boys and that it is estimated 90% of boys who are abandoned on the streets are sexually abused. The last thing these boys need is a person like Raquel who has no boundaries and only cares about herself. I really hope she is not able to ever go back again.

Why is someone like Raquel even allowed to visit a bunch of abandoned and mostly sexually abused teen boys? She has no boundaries and is acting inappropriately with them, which isn't healthy for them. Her behaviour seems so flirty around them...which is especially weird as some of them are underage. I know she isn't that old, but she is legally an adult and should know better. Did nobody talk to her about her behaviour? Was appropriate boundaries not explained to her when she started? Why was this allowed to happen in the first place? Surely there was some oversight on the missionaries, and people supervising them, because of the chances that something like this might happen, especially with the boys who are adults or almost adults and have developed those kinds of feelings...it would be perfectly normal and okay for Raquel to have feelings for some of those boys, and for them for her if they were people she met at school, or through a shared interest, or lived near her, especially the ones that are her age, but because they are in an orphanage and she is a missionary, people should try and stop her from doing this.

[crazyforkate]

Anyone know the organization she's working for? It would be interesting to see if they're at all ethical about these trips.

[formergothardite]

Anyone know the organization she's working for? It would be interesting to see if they're at all ethical about these trips.

scriptureunionperu.org/sites/kusi/

This is who she went with. I just keep hoping she made this whole thing up.

[Bugnyou]

That whole thing is terribly concerning! I have a teenage boy so it just gives me the creeps.

[fundiefun]

As someone who works with teen boys who have been sexually abused and traumatized Raquel's behavior seriously disturbs me. We have strict guidelines on how we interact with them and things like even rough housing or picking them up isn't allowed I can't imagine cuddling and stroking their hair especially considering many of them have boundary issues and have molessted other children before. We work hard to teach them appropriate boundaries and how to interact safely with others I don't know how the organization she is with can see this behavior as okay.

[dairyfreelife]

scriptureunionperu.org/sites/kusi/

This is who she went with. I just keep hoping she made this whole thing up.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I think someone should contact them with links to Raquel's blog posts about her actions. If they are a legitimate missions service they will not be happy and hopefully they will not allow her to go back.

[eh02]

I don't know any of the history of this woman, so I have no context beyond this thread, but yikes. I don't know if the children's age even matters here; it's disturbing if she's doing this with, say, a 15 year old boy, but it's inappropriate even with young children IMO. Kids with serious troubles of their own don't need a stranger building close relationships with them just to feel good about themselves, and then abruptly disappearing out of their lives again.

"Coming back from Peru this second time has definitely been harder than the first. In July, my focus was on building a foundation of friendship with the boys. And in December/January, my goal was to build on that foundation and cultivate the relationships."

So her goals, just to be clear:

1. Make friends

2. Keep being friends

Great mission!