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Robert or Steve Maxwell?


Grimalkin

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i could take or leave meat, except bacon. but i could sneak pre-cooked bacon pretty easily. ;)

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For me: Ken > Robert > Steve > PP > Pearl

PP and Pearl get their rocks off from whipping babies so they're really equal in my book. And I find Steve only marginally less frightening. Just because he probably doesn't physically abuse Teri doesn't make him any better. He has some serious control to be able to have all his adult children stay in line the way they do. It scares the bejesus out of me.

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The thought of any of them is enough to put me off the opposite sex forever, but of all of them, I think the Pisser would be the easiest to handle. He's such a whiny little dickless worm that I'd probably have him crying for his mommy within 5 minutes.

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Wait Steve doesn't eat meat?

Yeah I can't do that. At least robert could wrangle me, err get kicked by, a cow for me.

So your telling me that if Steve told you not to eat meat you wouldn't ? I would tell him to fuck off loudly and often. He can cook his own fucking burrito goop. What's he going to do?

Robert likely has a secret soundproof room in the basement with multiple locks and no windows. And since he has no friends nobody would come over. Ever.

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For me: Ken > Robert > Steve > PP > Pearl

PP and Pearl get their rocks off from whipping babies so they're really equal in my book. And I find Steve only marginally less frightening. Just because he probably doesn't physically abuse Teri doesn't make him any better. He has some serious control to be able to have all his adult children stay in line the way they do. It scares the bejesus out of me.

In all seriousness how do you think they would react if you refused. They don't seem violent. PP does not. Pearl maybe. But he also has a recognizeable name and exposing him would be a real threat to him. Nobody know who Robert is, nobody cares. He seems to have no friends or supporters in real life. He could lock me away and nobody would know. He lives out where God lost his shoes and never found them.

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So to take it a step further - Fuck Marry Kill? To Robert: This is a game and NOT an actual threat against you personally. I don't even know your last name or where you live. Nor do I care to find out specifics.

My first inclination would be to marry Steve, fuck the PP, and kill Robert. But then I realized that PP is probably overall more dangerous. But Robert is hideous, whereas PP, if I kind of blur my vision and try not to listen can sort of pass for Matthew Fox. I just don't think I could "do" Robert without vomiting. Is this too gross? Sorry.

Either way, Steve Maxwell is the one I'd marry. At least I have SOME things in common with him, even if it's just working out and hiking being a great vacation. Plus he's not bad looking, really. Not like Robert who is just disgusting and awful.

Between Ken and Robert, Ken. I'm shallow. Robert and Pearl? Oh, god. I guess Robert. He's dumber and could probably be manipulated a little easier. Plus he's closer to my age, and I think Pearl lives somewhere in the south and I'd rather not move out of this general region.

Not ignoring this. I considerd the same game but realized that Robert is not only to stupid to understand it is a game, he also is cowardly and paranoid. I don't want a crazy file out on me or him twisting things around and tattling on us.

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Yeah robert thinks googling is a physical threat, so I can imagine he thinks marry fuck kill is tantamount to actual murder .

AND fornication AND adultery :D lolz

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In all seriousness how do you think they would react if you refused. They don't seem violent. PP does not. Pearl maybe. But he also has a recognizeable name and exposing him would be a real threat to him. Nobody know who Robert is, nobody cares. He seems to have no friends or supporters in real life. He could lock me away and nobody would know. He lives out where God lost his shoes and never found them.

I really don't know. Steve could be locking his family members in the basement for weeks at a time and no one would be the wiser either. Living in a neighborhood isn't doing his women any good.

They all suck, point blank. We'll have to agree to disagree on PP and Pearl being violent. In my veiw they both clearly are. They both brag about beating babies and children, and Pearl's honeymoon story is not for the weak.

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I really don't know. Steve could be locking his family members in the basement for weeks at a time and no one would be the wiser either. Living in a neighborhood isn't doing his women any good.

They all suck, point blank. We'll have to agree to disagree on PP and Pearl being violent. In my veiw they both clearly are. They both brag about beating babies and children, and Pearl's honeymoon story is not for the weak.

I agree, they all suck and I would rather be single forever than have to deal with any of them. One thing about PeePee is that the only real isolating he did for his wife is bring her to the US, and her family is still in Germany. Other than that, they live in a regular neighborhood, and she's able to leave her home with her children without her husband. The only violence that could happen with the Pisser would involve the Border Control or other law enforcement agency as he's been known to pick fights at border checkpoints and his family wasn't with him at the time.

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Somewhat related, especially with the analysis of PP's looks.

Robert was actually pretty handsome as a young man (I think-- y'all can correct me if I'm wrong). Check out how good-natured and happy (and thin!) he looks in his wedding photos:

clubcreatingkeepsakes.com/forums/p/84367/685313.aspx

I hope you understand that when Robert reads this he is going to think you all have the hots for him. He is going to start bragging how the feminists fantasize about having wild, dirty, animalistic,monkey sex with him. That's all he is going to take away from Free Jinger now. That's the way his little pea brain works.

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Somewhat related, especially with the analysis of PP's looks.

Robert was actually pretty handsome as a young man (I think-- y'all can correct me if I'm wrong). Check out how good-natured and happy (and thin!) he looks in his wedding photos:

clubcreatingkeepsakes.com/forums/p/84367/685313.aspx

But it looks like he ate constantly for the next 15 years,

https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3513/402 ... 30c4ff.jpg

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I hope you understand that when Robert reads this he is going to think you all have the hots for him. He is going to start bragging how the feminists fantasize about having wild, dirty, animalistic,monkey sex with him. That's all he is going to take away from Free Jinger now. That's the way his little pea brain works.

Gross, you're right. And the reality is, I can't imagine anything worse than that.

:ew:

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AND fornication AND adultery :D lolz

AND vulgarity :wink-kitty:

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But it looks like he ate constantly for the next 15 years,

https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3513/402 ... 30c4ff.jpg

Oh man, that's the first time I've seen a pic of the guy. THAT'S the guy that's stronger than 99% of men? THAT'S the guy that can wrassle a bull? THAT'S the guy that can't get women to stop propositioning him? I just can't stop laughing... :lol:

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The comments in this thread had me in stitches (no pun intended)! Okay, first I had to Google Steve Maxwell (shudder!) so here's how I'd rank these dudes in my hypothetical no-win situation:

1. Ken -- He's easily manipulated/distracted, he travels a lot and I don't believe he was as into the kiddie discipline as much as Lori;

2. Pee Pee -- He's not bad looking and I'd refuse to have children with him;

3. Steve -- Ugh! All I can say is that he's preferable to the last two; no kids with him either;

4. Michael -- I'm younger, faster and I'm pretty sure I could incapacitate him so he wouldn't try anything funny; and

5. Robert -- Arrogant, creepy, repulsive, hideous and stupid separately do not make for attractive marriage material. All together in one package? Hell no!

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As a newcomer here, I've had to scrounge around to try to find pictures of these dudes, so I think it would be an awesome idea to post their pictures for easy reference. So, I might not have seen the most recent pictures, but I have done my best, and I now respectfully submit my thoughts on each.

I just googled to see a pic of Micheal Pearl. Interesting look. A cross between Abraham the Prophet, and Duck Dynasty. I'll bet there is a reason he has such an affinity to quarter inch plumbing tubing. Maybe he has only quarter inch plumbing. I can only picture fellowshipping with him if he was dressed in black polyvinyl assless body suit, fitted with a ball gag, and handcuffed over over a thinly padded leather bench. Then I would show him what quarter inch plumbing line really feels like.

Steve Anderson doesn't seem so bad looking, but I know that he'd be sprinkling pee all around the toilet, because he'd think he is hung well enough to stand farther away from it than he actually should. Really, I am sure his knees should be pressing against the rim. And there is no way in hell he'd ever put the seat down afterwards. Probably wouldn't lift it to begin with, since pissing is such a fetish with him. I will bet that he pees on the walls of his house at night. It is probably painted white, with nasty orange stains running down the sides, from about knee height.

Just looked at Steve Maxwell's picture. Wow, he looks like the kind of guy that in a horror movie, keeps women chained in the basement and brings them up only to eat them. And never in a good way. Seriously, look at this guy. He has the eyes of a psychopath.

Ken Alexander: I've seen worse. It is inteteresting that he is still rocking the 70's haircut, and the porn 'stache. I guess that would be his major good point. "You could do worse."

Now, Doug Phillips (is a tool) reminds me enough of actor John C. McGinley, to be a bit endearing. If you have never seen Wagons East, you should, to watch John portray the fabulously gay rascal that he does so well. I think that if Doug (who is a tool, apparently), would watch John's portrayal of this character, he might find hints on how to act LESS GAY. I can't see interacting with Doug (the tool), in a sexual manner, but maybe we could go shopping some day.

Bill Gothard: I think it may be time to let old corpses lie. This guy is too far gone to do anything with anyone, male or female. If he can get his wienie out of his pants in time to keep from wetting his Depends, I'd be surprised. So, pass.

Robert "Cabinetman": He's not too bad, visually. Maybe just a few pounds and years away from becoming the new Larry The Cable Guy. I think that I would initially try him out, from curiosity alone. And ask each time: "Was this supposed to be the 20%?"; "Was this supposed to be the 20%?"; "Was this supposed to be the 20%?"; "Was this supposed to be the 20%?"; "Was this supposed to be the 20%?"; ???? "Oh, come on! Well, hand me the AA batteries, and get out of my way. And, fix me something to eat, you miserable excuse for a penis carrier."

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Oh man, that's the first time I've seen a pic of the guy. THAT'S the guy that's stronger than 99% of men? THAT'S the guy that can wrassle a bull? THAT'S the guy that can't get women to stop propositioning him? I just can't stop laughing... :lol:

And you can see more of him in the bottom right photo here, https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2823/929 ... abe5_b.jpg

I bet you need a cold shower now, right?

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"Was this supposed to be the 20%?"; "Was this supposed to be the 20%?"; "Was this supposed to be the 20%?"; "Was this supposed to be the 20%?"; "Was this supposed to be the 20%?"; ????

i love you for this :lol:

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A game of fundie Fuck, Marry, Banish to a Remote Desert Island With Nothing To Read But the Twilight Saga*? Hmm.

I'm a little worried about leaving Robert in a remote place with a copy of Twilight, he might enjoy it. But I can't imagine having... relations... or being married to the man. So congratulations, Bob, you win a lifetime vacation!

I guess I'd have to fuck Ken, because from what Lori says- I know it'd be over in less than ten minutes, and he wouldn't care that I scrunched my eyes shut the whole time and laid there like a dead fish. He's used to that. It'd probably take me years of margaritas to recover, but these are the sacrifices I make for you people. Blergh.

I think Steve Maxwell would magically believe in divorce if he were married to me- I'd ban Joseph from using Scriptina, my jokes would give the UNMARRIED PEOPLE too much information about the SEX, and I'd eat too many animal crackers. Yes, God would surely approve of divorcing me.

*since y'all are right, Robert isn't that bright and probably doesn't get out enough to know about FMK. Heaven help us if he finds out about Cards Against Humanity.

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A game of fundie Fuck, Marry, Banish to a Remote Desert Island With Nothing To Read But the Twilight Saga*? Hmm.

I'm a little worried about leaving Robert in a remote place with a copy of Twilight, he might enjoy it. But I can't imagine having... relations... or being married to the man. So congratulations, Bob, you win a lifetime vacation!

I guess I'd have to fuck Ken, because from what Lori says- I know it'd be over in less than ten minutes, and he wouldn't care that I scrunched my eyes shut the whole time and laid there like a dead fish. He's used to that. It'd probably take me years of margaritas to recover, but these are the sacrifices I make for you people. Blergh.

I think Steve Maxwell would magically believe in divorce if he were married to me- I'd ban Joseph from using Scriptina, my jokes would give the UNMARRIED PEOPLE too much information about the SEX, and I'd eat too many animal crackers. Yes, God would surely approve of divorcing me.

*since y'all are right, Robert isn't that bright and probably doesn't get out enough to know about FMK. Heaven help us if he finds out about Cards Against Humanity.

I'm with you. I have no problem telling Steve to Fuck off when he tried to wake me at 3 am, or want me to clean a fan. "Listen here Steve-o I don't want to cook bean goop, or reflect on death, I want my motherfucking Pepsi! Got it? Good. Now shut the fuck up and get me a fucking Pepsi. I want it cold, in a glass, with five ice cubes. Don't mess it up either you fuck wit."

I would switch out Kens Viagra with Vicodin, and a stack of porn, I might get away with it. And perhaps a blow up doll, tell him he can keep it forever.

Boobert gets banished. Without sunscreen or water though. He can keep Twilight. I do think he would like it and the total codependency part. I even will allow him 50 shades.

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Oh God, that's a difficult decision. Im a lesbian, but I wanna join in the fun. Personally if I absolutely had to, it would be Ken, he seems easier to manipulate. Robert is pretty dumb too, I find neither of them attractive, but I think Robert is ugly and generally a worse husband-Lori is a massive bitch and the train wreck they call a marriage is a combination of both of their faults. Amanda seems to be the victim in this, not part of the problem, so Robert is likely a bigger jerk.

Or maybe PP....he is whiny and annoying and I bet I could make a submissive helpmeet out of him in a week. I think he is more insane than the others and more likely to be physically abusive though. He just seems like the kind of guy who will just flip into violence and start shooting or something. Also I would make him madder because I cant just stand there and listen to half baked conspiracy nonsense.

Steve Maxwell has serial killer eyes, he just looks like some kind of creepy psycho. Although I bet I could get him to kick me off the compound in a week, as it would be just so much fun to rebel. If I had to obey the rules though, ugh, no. What a sad, miserable life. He sucks the joy out of everything like a happiness vampire. Theres something in his eyes that makes him lower down the list than he would be if he was a normal guy, what the hell did he do to brainwash all of the others under his control???

Michael Pearl? Oh hell no. He is a child abuser, nearly raped Debi to death on their honeymoon and is possibly the ugliest human being to ever exist. He looks like a crazy mountain man and has such a creepy empty look in his eyes. He looks like the kind of person to have a freezer full of dismembered corpses.

I don't know who I would choose between Michael Pearl and Gothard. They are both creepy and repulsive. Theyre both old too, but I think Gothard is older, richer and looks more likely to die soon. Pearl looks like hes probably in okay health, and seems more likely to be violent. Michael Pearl would probably want actual sex, but Gothard is more likely to not be able to get it up and prefer just fondling and foot touching...still gross though. Okay, gonna go with Gothard. Ew.

But if I had a choice between any of these guys and licking the cat's asshole, kitty it is.

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But if I had a choice between any of these guys and licking the cat's asshole, kitty it is.

:lol:

Amen to that.

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A quick thought. If Ken actually had loving and caring kind wife who was thoughtful and kind hearted he might never of ended up as a douche.

Because as a submissive wife she is quite the bitch. Imagine what she was like back in the "rebellious" days. Ken may have some sort of neurotic crazy form of PTSD.

Ponder it.

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A quick thought. If Ken actually had loving and caring kind wife who was thoughtful and kind hearted he might never of ended up as a douche.

Because as a submissive wife she is quite the bitch. Imagine what she was like back in the "rebellious" days. Ken may have some sort of neurotic crazy form of PTSD.

Ponder it.

Every time I start thinking this way, Koala very kindly shows up with Ken quotes to remind me that Ken is pretty awful on his own. :D

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