Robert or Steve Maxwell?

[salex]

Would it be any harder if you HAD to choose between Robert and PeePee?

(We should introduce the two!!!)

I'd be single. My single sister visited 8 countries the last 6 months of last year, for work. I think I'd be single if given those choices.

[formergothardite]

Ken. He will be gone half the time and when he is home he will be out with the guys so I will rarely have to deal with him. And despite his manly-man talk, it is clear that Lori runs that house. Robert never seems to leave Amanda alone and controls every aspect of her day.

Michael Pearl vs. Robert. I can't decide. They are both such awful, controlling monsters that I don't think I could choose.

[Grimalkin]

Ken. He will be gone half the time and when he is home he will be out with the guys so I will rarely have to deal with him. And despite his manly-man talk, it is clear that Lori runs that house. Robert never seems to leave Amanda alone and controls every aspect of her day.

Michael Pearl vs. Robert. I can't decide. They are both such awful, controlling monsters that I don't think I could choose.

How old is Mr. Pearl? My only hope would be to outlive him.

[Firiel]

I would choose PeePee over Robert. PeePee at least seems to like Zsu. He's a terrible person, but I don't seem to remember that he treats her terribly.

Ken vs. Robert... I would choose Ken, in a heartbeat. Again, when he was stuck with Lori of all people, it doesn't sound like he mistreated her actively. He just ignored her. I think I can deal with being ignored by Ken. Plus, it's not adultery unless penetration happens? I could live with that. :P

Robert vs. Michael Pearl... this is the only one I will choose Robert on. I think Robert is an abusive narcissist, but at least he wouldn't force me to beat my children.

[Jana814]

How terrifying that there are men out there that make Stevehovah Maxhell look like a more desirable husband.

Agree!

[jerkit]

Ken over Robert. Ken is an ass, but again, he doesn't give me a super creeper vibe like Robert does.

[salex]

Robert vs M. Pearl? Robert. He locks his wife out of the house, but didn't nearly rape her to death on their honeymoon, to our knowledge.

[Grimalkin]

I would choose PeePee over Robert. PeePee at least seems to like Zsu. He's a terrible person, but I don't seem to remember that he treats her terribly.

Ken vs. Robert... I would choose Ken, in a heartbeat. Again, when he was stuck with Lori of all people, it doesn't sound like he mistreated her actively. He just ignored her. I think I can deal with being ignored by Ken. Plus, it's not adultery unless penetration happens? I could live with that. :P

Robert vs. Michael Pearl... this is the only one I will choose Robert on. I think Robert is an abusive narcissist, but at least he wouldn't force me to beat my children.

I picture Pearl as old and frail. I think I can take him on. I also think I may be able to force him into a nursing home sooner. If I were to say Robert may be mauled by a bull and become incapacitated, I am not threatening him in any way, but that may be a plus. I imagine there are lots of accidents that can happen in the wilderness, on a homestead. In the middle of nowhere, where one has no friends to come looking in case he goes missing. There is no threat in this Robert. Just speculating. Of course that could be turned around on me so.......

[Grimalkin]

Robert vs M. Pearl? Robert. He locks his wife out of the house, but didn't nearly rape her to death on their honeymoon, to our knowledge.

OMG! I forgot about that.

[FundieWatcher]

Add another vote for Steve.

Being married to Robert would be roller coaster ride in hell. He is emotionally all over the place. No self-control.

Steve's household is just a bore. Snark worthy, but not scary.

[jaynie]

All of the things Robert posts sound to me like the backstory the news would provide after the kind of incident that makes you go "how could somebody do something like that?" He seriously gives me the creeps. He's got to be hoarding more than his fair share of red flags. So Stevehovah, for sure. Ken is gross but at least Lori gets away with manipulating him to her own end a fair bit, it seems. PP, its a trickier call, but at least there is always the chance that the tragic news story would be "look what this monster did to himself" rather than "look what this monster did to his family".

Mostly though, I'm just very grateful to live in a time and place wherein I am not compelled to marry one of these pitiful examples of humanity.

[usmcmom]

Robert v PeePee?

Again, I'm going with location. PeePee lives near other people so...escape. Most importantly, we know he lives near a Krispy Kreme and I can't think of a better place to start a new life than hunkered down behind the counter of a Krispy Kreme eating myself into a lovely, liberated sugar coma.

Robert v Ken?

Ken. I'd just ask him a question every now and then and leave the room while he talks himself into a stupor with his own answer. Also...California is a good place for...you know...escape.

Robert v Michael Pearl?

I'd poke both of my own eyes out with an ice pick and allow myself to slowly bleed to death before making that choice.

[Maggie Mae]

So to take it a step further - Fuck Marry Kill? To Robert: This is a game and NOT an actual threat against you personally. I don't even know your last name or where you live. Nor do I care to find out specifics.

My first inclination would be to marry Steve, fuck the PP, and kill Robert. But then I realized that PP is probably overall more dangerous. But Robert is hideous, whereas PP, if I kind of blur my vision and try not to listen can sort of pass for Matthew Fox. I just don't think I could "do" Robert without vomiting. Is this too gross? Sorry.

Either way, Steve Maxwell is the one I'd marry. At least I have SOME things in common with him, even if it's just working out and hiking being a great vacation. Plus he's not bad looking, really. Not like Robert who is just disgusting and awful.

Between Ken and Robert, Ken. I'm shallow. Robert and Pearl? Oh, god. I guess Robert. He's dumber and could probably be manipulated a little easier. Plus he's closer to my age, and I think Pearl lives somewhere in the south and I'd rather not move out of this general region.

[jerkit]

Michael Pearl is perhaps the only man on earth i would choose Boobert over.

[Firiel]

So.

Robert vs. Gothard

:ew:

[jerkit]

So.

Robert vs. Gothard

:ew:

Gothard.

I'm 97.9% sure he's only sexually attracted to teenage girls and therefore he'd just leave me alone :P

[salex]

I am so not either's type... but. Gothard is nearer to death and more powerful and likely richer. :D

And didn't he have a bit of a foot fetish? I could live with some long foot rubs....

[browncoatslytherin]

yeah, i'd go with gothard. depending on his health, he may or may not function well anymore, so sex would be minimal. and since he prefers teen girls anyway, like jerkit said, he'd probably mostly leave me alone.

[formergothardite]

Gothard. He didn't give me a second look when I was a young teen, so I doubt he would want to lay a hand on me now. Plus, he has to have one foot in the grave and money squirreled away.

I don't think I could fake enthusiastic sex every other day for years with Robert. :ew:

[moodygirl86]

As others have said, I'd rather be lonely for the rest of my life than have to put up with ANY of these fundie creeps.

The first guy I went out with, I found out after two years he was still seeing his "ex" - she was away studying in another city, so it was easy for him to maintain the deceit. But I got really angry with him and asked him why he had to trick me like that. His reply? "I felt sorry for you because you were single." EXCUSE ME?! Why is being single considered such a bad thing? At least in my case I had the choice to tell this guy to fuck off - which I did - and show him that I wasn't so desperate to be with someone that I'd put up with cheating and/or being the other woman. But many of these guys' wives will be under some sort of pressure to forgive the most appalling behaviour, be it from church, family, or their own insecurity.

[Firiel]

Somewhat related, especially with the analysis of PP's looks.

Robert was actually pretty handsome as a young man (I think-- y'all can correct me if I'm wrong). Check out how good-natured and happy (and thin!) he looks in his wedding photos:

clubcreatingkeepsakes.com/forums/p/84367/685313.aspx

[browncoatslytherin]

Somewhat related, especially with the analysis of PP's looks.

Robert was actually pretty handsome as a young man (I think-- y'all can correct me if I'm wrong). Check out how good-natured and happy (and thin!) he looks in his wedding photos:

clubcreatingkeepsakes.com/forums/p/84367/685313.aspx

he does look a lot thinner, but he resembles a family member too much for me to consider him attractive

[jerkit]

Robert looks much less like a foot in the wedding photo.

[princessmahina]

I briefly considered Robert because at least he gave Amanda the option to leave, right? I don't think Steve would ever do that.

But ultimately, I'd prefer Steve. I don't eat meat, so I think I'd do okay food-wise. I love to hike and work out. My real issues would be the early rising, lack of sweets, and all interesting reading being forbidden.

[jerkit]

Wait Steve doesn't eat meat?

Yeah I can't do that. At least robert could wrangle me, err get kicked by, a cow for me.