Jump to content
IGNORED

Duggars & "self control"


mollysmom

Recommended Posts

Yeah, if they couldn't even trust Jill and Derrick to go off alone and call his mother at their wedding rehearsal, they have zero concept or expectation of self control.

You just hit upon one of my major peeves. That they could trust Jill and Derrick to go to the hospital to visit his mother with cancer without a chaperone!?!?!?!?! I mean really... I sincerely hope that visit was just for the cameras and that other times they were allowed to visit alone... and doesn't Derrick's mother count as a chaperone? Or were they worried they would be making out in the car on the way? Or she'd have to go for some test and they'd hop in her hospital bed and screw like little bunnies. Talk about no trust! And on the same note, if God forbid my fiance's mother had cancer I would want to give him a REAL hug... maybe even a kiss on the forehead. Wouldn't learning real compassion in a crisis situation be a good learning experience? The fact that they weren't allowed that much during such a time REALLY ticked me off!

OK, I've vented.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You just hit upon one of my major peeves. That they could trust Jill and Derrick to go to the hospital to visit his mother with cancer without a chaperone!?!?!?!?! I mean really... I sincerely hope that visit was just for the cameras and that other times they were allowed to visit alone... and doesn't Derrick's mother count as a chaperone? Or were they worried they would be making out in the car on the way? Or she'd have to go for some test and they'd hop in her hospital bed and screw like little bunnies. Talk about no trust! And on the same note, if God forbid my fiance's mother had cancer I would want to give him a REAL hug... maybe even a kiss on the forehead. Wouldn't learning real compassion in a crisis situation be a good learning experience? The fact that they weren't allowed that much during such a time REALLY ticked me off!

OK, I've vented.

Love what's in bold. You are completely right!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Their kind of parenting doesn't teach self control. They teach controlling kids so they will never make any decisions for themselves. They teach "obey or else" instead of why they follow the rules they do. This doesn't teach self control, as all they have to hope for is that they have instilled enough fear of God in their children that they will be afraid to disobey the rules once they are too old to spank.

If the parents were suddenly removed from this family (and in the 'parent' category I'm including the eldest daughters), it would be like lord of the flies in that house. They would rip that place apart for the sheer joy of freedom. I think they turn the older siblings into parents primarily because they can't keep up with all their children, but there's the added benefit of giving those siblings parental/adult authority. Like it or not, they become another facet of the authority (which I'm guessing also makes it harder to move away from, because then they're going back on their previous actions). Just seeing how much destruction those children have done at times when it's only grandma and a couple of the older daughters watching them is pretty telling, but if all those authority figures were gone, all hell would break loose. They wouldn't even know how to function without someone watching over them, they would be totally lost. First would come insane rulebreaking and then probably complete terror. They would be outside the 'umbrella' of authority, which they believe also protects them from SATAN. As much as I hate the way some of the older 'adult' kids talk and behave (looking at you, Josh and Jessa), I also feel like they would be absolutely terrified to disagree with their parents' belief system. Because that's how the devil gets you. Maybe they also feel compelled to be active online because they finally have their own voice, but even still, this lifestyle makes every abusive effort to teach children that any dissenting thought AT ALL might damn you to hell. I hope that at least some of them will drift away from all this bullshit but it's hard to predict who might do it, whether they actually will, or what their family's reaction would be. I'll be so impressed with any of them who do, because it really is impressive to get free of infant-onward brainwashing. Unfortunately, adult life is hard enough without adding the constant, intrusive threat of damnation and the devil and it's hard to imagine they have the stress or anxiety coping skills to deal with that shit.

But even if they do, their family will continue to claim the same old thing about temptation drawing people from Godly life and how those people just don't have the self-control...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And yet, they put the men folk in charge of everyone else (patriarchy my friends). You know, the men folk, who can't control themselves when seeing an exposed knee, cleavage or collar bone.

just read ben's newwest facebook post and it states clearly what he is into

:nenner:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Which facebook account is Ben's account? I looked up his name and there were a couple of them... one looked more likely to me because of its frequent posts of quotes by Spurgeon and posts of wedding photos, etc, but it also had a post on January 1st from some random person congratulating them on expecting their firstborn! There were surprisingly few responses to it, just one person saying 'did I miss an announcement?' There were a few other posts on the page from people, which the account had 'liked', but this one wasn't one of them. First I wondered if the poster had confused Jessa with Jill, but then I wondered if it was his real account (partly also because some woman had commented to him 'I wish I could find a man like you' to which a dude had responded 'I found a great man like him, keep looking', which made me laugh but I would think that the real Ben would have immediately deleted :lol: )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Which facebook account is Ben's account? I looked up his name and there were a couple of them... one looked more likely to me because of its frequent posts of quotes by Spurgeon and posts of wedding photos, etc, but it also had a post on January 1st from some random person congratulating them on expecting their firstborn! There were surprisingly few responses to it, just one person saying 'did I miss an announcement?' There were a few other posts on the page from people, which the account had 'liked', but this one wasn't one of them. First I wondered if the poster had confused Jessa with Jill, but then I wondered if it was his real account (partly also because some woman had commented to him 'I wish I could find a man like you' to which a dude had responded 'I found a great man like him, keep looking', which made me laugh but I would think that the real Ben would have immediately deleted :lol: )

This is Ben's real account, according to Jessa's Facebook: facebook.com/benL4CSeewald

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe they have "self control" but maybe not. This blind item just appeared today on my favorite gossip site.

This religious family who loves cable and babies is about to take a big hit because a son-in-law had sex several times with his sister-in-law during the holiday season. A tabloid knows. The family is trying to make a deal. The Duggers

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is Ben's real account, according to Jessa's Facebook: facebook.com/benL4CSeewald

and because "the writer" is so original

L4C means Live for Christ

so original you "writer"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They called his mother shortly before the wedding ceremony, and they did their devotions together around the same time. Chaperoned? You bet. To me, it's beyond ridiculous to think that the children that you raised to believe in God would do something inappropriate while doing their devotions, in a church, right before their wedding. This isn't being conservative... this is being irrational. Being zealous about doing things 'correctly' shifts your focus from God to yourself.

JB and Michelle couldn't trust Jill going to a birth alone or Josh taking Anna to eat alone. Like they are going to get down and dirty in a restaurant or get laid supervising a birth? I just don't get it. It shows how insecure they are.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OMG, I know, right! The conviction thing drives me insane....

Hi. I'm new to all this. What does conviction mean? Thanks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If the parents were suddenly removed from this family (and in the 'parent' category I'm including the eldest daughters), it would be like lord of the flies in that house. They would rip that place apart for the sheer joy of freedom. I think they turn the older siblings into parents primarily because they can't keep up with all their children, but there's the added benefit of giving those siblings parental/adult authority. Like it or not, they become another facet of the authority (which I'm guessing also makes it harder to move away from, because then they're going back on their previous actions). Just seeing how much destruction those children have done at times when it's only grandma and a couple of the older daughters watching them is pretty telling, but if all those authority figures were gone, all hell would break loose. They wouldn't even know how to function without someone watching over them, they would be totally lost. First would come insane rulebreaking and then probably complete terror. They would be outside the 'umbrella' of authority, which they believe also protects them from SATAN. As much as I hate the way some of the older 'adult' kids talk and behave (looking at you, Josh and Jessa), I also feel like they would be absolutely terrified to disagree with their parents' belief system. Because that's how the devil gets you. Maybe they also feel compelled to be active online because they finally have their own voice, but even still, this lifestyle makes every abusive effort to teach children that any dissenting thought AT ALL might damn you to hell. I hope that at least some of them will drift away from all this bullshit but it's hard to predict who might do it, whether they actually will, or what their family's reaction would be. I'll be so impressed with any of them who do, because it really is impressive to get free of infant-onward brainwashing. Unfortunately, adult life is hard enough without adding the constant, intrusive threat of damnation and the devil and it's hard to imagine they have the stress or anxiety coping skills to deal with that shit.

But even if they do, their family will continue to claim the same old thing about temptation drawing people from Godly life and how those people just don't have the self-control...

See I no longer view it that way. At one time, it did seem like there was a great deal of monitoring and control, but IMO, that is long gone. I think it IS the Lord of the Flies in TTH. I think since most of the kids are upright, mobile, talking and toilet trained, all that monitoring is now gone. IMO, it's a free for all and the older girls are kicking back and enjoying every second of it. Sure, GMM does laundry, Mrs. Q does the schooling and the girls nuke some premade food for dinner, but other than that it's every Duggar for themselves. Once in awhile they probably do some minor housework, but otherwise, a free for all.

I think JB and M's give a shit for the day in and day out operation is at an all time low. There's virginity to protect- side hugs and kisses to ward off.

I also think this is why Jana is not in a relationship or married. I think Jana enjoys her free time and is not ready to do/start all that BS again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Something I don't understand with the Duggars way of thinking....they are all about "self control". Seems to be one of their rehearsed answers when asked about "courting" and refraining from touching, kissing, etc. HOWEVER as soon as they get married, the wife is never supposed to say "no" to her husband when he's "in the mood". Well, that shows NO self control on his part, at all! What's that all about?

Very good point.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If pants = sexy, then maybe the guys should wear skirts too. :lol:

lol! Tangentially: IMO, there are plenty of male skirt examples from antiquity that are pretty sexy. Greek togas, Roman soldiers uniform, Egyptian skirt-things, etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The only members of the family who are expected to have total self control and be responsible for their own behaviour are the babies being blanket-trained. I'll repeat - they expect a BABY to have perfect control but a full-grown male can't control himself around a female! :pull-hair:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.