Robert: whatever his problem is, it's your fault

[polecat]

More weirdness.

No matter what anyone says, Lorken and Boobert seem to always come at it from a negative point of view. He's claiming here that this teacher says "you only have to have sex twice per week." Why so negative? Why not come at it from a place where normal, Christian women WANT to have sex. At least twice a week. Women like sex Boobert! It's okay.

Gawd, he makes it sound like just one more thing to check off on the to-do list.

Sex can be a joyful experience, it can be dirty and nasty, it can be fun and playful, it can be deeply romantic, it can be full or love or full of lust, it can be a way to reconnect after a disagreement, it can be a way to burn off stress and feel closer. It can be sooo freaking many different things for a couple. But you make it into this sterile, boring thing that has to be gotten out of the way.

[jerkit]

Yes! I keep trying to put into words what frustrates me about Lorken and Boobert's views on sex and I can't seem to find the words. It's that it starts with the assumption that men want it and women don't. It starts with the assumption that a woman can't be excited and desirous of sex. It starts with the assumption that to women, sex is a to do item on a checklist. It starts with the assumption that sex is for men and women just have to put up with it.

It's so very negative.

[polecat]

Maybe his Mom was like Lori Alexander submissive yet.....

Though not Christians my MIL never worked after having a child. Never drove a car, or balanced a checkbook. She only had one child who left home at 15. Her entire life is about cleaning her house and talking about how exhausted she is all the time.

There is a reason he left home at 15. My submissive MIL took all her pent up rage and anger out on her son. My FIL is a shit and she is one crazy sick twisted manipulative POS.

The shit trickles down.

Of course it does. I just don't get why it's always, only ever the mother who gets blamed when kids grow up to be shits. Irl, I've often noticed that nasty, abusive, women-hating men often come from nasty, abusive, women-hating fathers.

(And this is coming from someone with a physically and emotionally abusive mother and a completely self-absorbed father who often saved his own skin at the expense of his kids, so obviously I'm aware that women can be just as awful as men when it comes to abuse.)

[Doormat12345]

Rather then his mom being a "piece of work" we can probably assume he percieves his mom to be a "piece if work" and has attributed to her fault for all manner if things that went wrong in his life. He has some serious mommy issues and set out to transform Amanda into the perfect wife so he wouldn't end up like his father.

If only mom had just submitted to daddy I would have had a happy home.

I find it very telling that hr has talked about his dad's transformation into someone he really respects, or talks foundly of how big and strong he was. But he hasn't got anything positive to say abouy mom.

He clearly picked dads side during the divorce, and I can only imagine that his subsequent decent into fundieland fueled his mommy issues into misogyny.

[Doormat12345]

Add some CDD and it's practically the biblical version of 50 shades of Grey ( not that I am in anyway giving that book any psychological credence ).

But seriously... 50 shades of God, by L Ron Cubbard.

[browncoatslytherin]

Add some CDD and it's practically the biblical version of 50 shades of Grey ( not that I am in anyway giving that book any psychological credence ).

But seriously... 50 shades of God, by L Ron Cubbard.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

[RosyDaisy]

Sex is definitely not just something on my to do list. However, I have never refused sex with my fiancée. I don't do it out of obligation. We just have a strong physical and emotional attraction. I hope that makes sense. Furthermore, the strong emotional attraction facilitates communication.

[memabelle]

Yes! I keep trying to put into words what frustrates me about Lorken and Boobert's views on sex and I can't seem to find the words. It's that it starts with the assumption that men want it and women don't. It starts with the assumption that a woman can't be excited and desirous of sex. It starts with the assumption that to women, sex is a to do item on a checklist. It starts with the assumption that sex is for men and women just have to put up with it.

It's so very negative.

This whole thing. It's what frustrates me about them as well and makes me feel even a little sorry for both the men and the women in the kinds of relationships Lorken and Robert are in.

[Grimalkin]

When you put it that way, it makes total sense. I'm thinking about the only sex I've ever known which is "an egalitarian pleasure party." If I were a human sex toy that my husband masturbated into, i would probably be a refuser too.

You are meeting Boobert at his level here with your language choice.

You make being married to Boobert so appealing! :ew:

[Emme]

From the comments... "It’s also not a secret that I stuck by my wife through ten years of hell for a marriage, have turned down real life sex from a good many women and my wife struggles greatly with hormones (although not like before, just in having a drive hormonally)."

His poor wife. It must suck to be married to someone who says those things about you.

[Grimalkin]

Of course it does. I just don't get why it's always, only ever the mother who gets blamed when kids grow up to be shits. Irl, I've often noticed that nasty, abusive, women-hating men often come from nasty, abusive, women-hating fathers.

(And this is coming from someone with a physically and emotionally abusive mother and a completely self-absorbed father who often saved his own skin at the expense of his kids, so obviously I'm aware that women can be just as awful as men when it comes to abuse.)

That was not my intention. I see your point. I was illustrating about a woman being submissive toward a a asshole and taking it out on the kids. It started at the top with the husband being a douch, and her not having any control or choices.

If there was mutual respect hopefully anger would be directed at the appropriate person.

If a man is abusive kids may also ame mom for whatever reason not being what she is supposed to be, or because she would take the anger where as if you confronted an angry asshole dad, you would get shit either verbal, or physical.

On my phone at hair salon I hope I make sense.

[littlemommy]

Robert sure spends a lot of time thinking and talking about sex.

Secret Robert reader, tell him I said he is a douche-tastic horndog.

[Doormat12345]

When you put it that way, it makes total sense. I'm thinking about the only sex I've ever known which is "an egalitarian pleasure party." If I were a human sex toy that my husband masturbated into, i would probably be a refuser too.

Exactly. The whole hang up on masturbation makes the spouses 100% responsible for providing sexual release. It's not just being available for sex. It's being available for all sexual releases. If I had to be on hand every single time my spouse wanted to wank it off plus the times he genuinely wanted to have sex eith me I'd pribably jump out the window.

[Hisey]

Robert told his wife that he must have sex 3 times a week and that this is "nonnegotiable".

Then he complains that all he gets is "duty sex."

Hello, Robert! You made it into a duty, buddy. I think Amanda is doing the best she can for you there. After spending the day "submitting" to your every request (how unlucky for her you work at home!), you want a tiger in bed?

[shedemei]

Crap, I wish he weren't the one posting this, because he's a woman-hating asshole.

I only read his post. I actually don't think it's that bad, and for some men there are many parts that are accurate. I mean men who aren't assholes/MRAs, but men who have this view of masculinity and find it hard to open themselves up and be emotionally vulnerable. They want it, but can't because it's out of their comfort zone and so difficult.

The second-to-last paragraph is just wah-wah-woman-blaming.

But, partners of people (not just men!) who have trust issues DO need to be extra gentle in order to build that trust. Someone who is used to bottling up emotions does need help from their partner to express them. So that part of his post feels true to me.

Again, I wish he weren't the one writing this. Also, maybe he edited out some more awful stuff I didn't get to read.

[usmcmom]

From the comments... "It’s also not a secret that I stuck by my wife through ten years of hell for a marriage, have turned down real life sex from a good many women and my wife struggles greatly with hormones (although not like before, just in having a drive hormonally)."

His poor wife. It must suck to be married to someone who says those things about you.

I have a serious, snark-free question: What in the world is a "Christian" man who supposedly values marriage doing in ANY situation where he even has the opportunity to turn down sex from "a good many women"? Any married man that has that many offers needs to seriously reconsider his activities if he's being propositioned so frequently.

Also, am I the only one who has never heard of a wife labeled as a "Refuser?"

"I'm so sick of you turning me down...you...you...you REFUSER!!" :o

[Rescinded and Mended]

Yes Robert, I'm certain that thousands of women the world over have had to stop themselves from convulsing into paroxysms of desire and melting into quivering pools of lust whenever your august presence is near. A single glance from you is all it takes to inflame their bodies with passion, and then they start panting like animals and they rip their clothes off and scream, "Take me, Cabinetman! Use your bear-like strength and immense, mountainous size and MOUNT ME ON YOUR SHELVES!"

Seems legit.

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

[jerkit]

I also find it curious at the end of that comment he says "women say they're not refusers but their husbands would say differently."

No dude. Because Mr. Jerkit is perfectly comfortable in his manhood and knows that different people have different sex drives, regardless of their genitals, he would willingly tell you that I am 100% of the time, NOT a refuser.

[Doormat12345]

Yes Robert, I'm certain that thousands of women the world over have had to stop themselves from convulsing into paroxysms of desire and melting into quivering pools of lust whenever your august presence is near. A single glance from you is all it takes to inflame their bodies with passion, and then they start panting like animals and they rip their clothes off and scream, "Take me, Cabinetman! Use your bear-like strength and immense, mountainous size and MOUNT ME ON YOUR SHELVES!"

Seems legit.

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

He once recounted a story of how he pulled over to help a lady with car trouble on his mountain pass and was propositioned after he got her car going.

I'm inclined to believe he only thinks he was propositioned, but wasn't really. I imagined it went something like this.

L Ron: "Your car is fixed."

A lady: "Oh Wow! Thank you so much! Can I repay you?" - with money being implied.

L Ron: "Get behind me satan." Dashes into car and speeds away.

A Lady: "WTF.... "

[lawfulevil]

...But, partners of people (not just men!) who have trust issues DO need to be extra gentle in order to build that trust. Someone who is used to bottling up emotions does need help from their partner to express them. So that part of his post feels true to me.

Again, I wish he weren't the one writing this. Also, maybe he edited out some more awful stuff I didn't get to read.

That's the thing about Boobert. He can seem so deceptively harmless because a lot of the things he says, even the kind of harsh ones, could be completely legit and productive coming from a good man/husband. (Not the stuff where, apparently, random women fall from the sky with the one ambition of banging some middle aged chunkerbutt in the middle of nowhere.)

On the other hand, sometimes he's just a laughably clueless idiot.

But I can tell you that most modern men look at the modern woman and see porn as the lesser evil/lesser pain to deal with... that is how lonely, frustrasted, disrespected, and deprived the majority of modern men feel...

Notice the "disrespected" thrown in there? We're right back to masturbation in women's bodies versus masturbation in one's hand. "Disrespect" with this type of man is when their walking talking Real Doll (with bonus housework programming!) has the nerve to have feelings and needs of her own. Women, whether the one one happens to own (wife) or the ones in porn, are useful only as long as they are pleasing men, and women who are not pleasing men are broken, like a vending machine that won't dispense your $%^&!#@$ coffee. This is the exact same entitled attitude I see (with different spin) in "nice guys", except Robert doesn't even think you have to put niceness into the vending machine until it owes you sex, Robert thinks he OWNS the vending machine and that's that.

Boobert knows on some level that "modern" women don't have any more interest in his kind of man than he has in a "modern" woman. And that is Not Allowed. One of the reasons feminism is Evil because it means women can look around at the world and go "well if that's the best I can do, I'd rather stay single forever".

[Grimalkin]

You would think he has long extensive conversations with many many couples to gather research on all this. What is he basing all his expert opinions on?

[polecat]

I have a serious, snark-free question: What in the world is a "Christian" man who supposedly values marriage doing in ANY situation where he even has the opportunity to turn down sex from "a good many women"? Any married man that has that many offers needs to seriously reconsider his activities if he's being propositioned so frequently.

Also, am I the only one who has never heard of a wife labeled as a "Refuser?"

"I'm so sick of you turning me down...you...you...you REFUSER!!" :o

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Serious, snark-free answer: Faithful, happily married men may indeed be getting plenty of offers under certain circumstances. My friend's husband is a k9 officer and reasonably attractive, and he's propositioned fairly regularly. I suppose the women are either wanting to get out of trouble or acting out cop fantasies. When my husband worked as a fire fighter, he also got occasional random offers. It does happen and to men who in no way invited the behavior, but somehow I struggle to believe that anyone is propositioning a pudgy, middle-aged cabinetmaker.

[RosyDaisy]

I also find it curious at the end of that comment he says "women say they're not refusers but their husbands would say differently."

No dude. Because Mr. Jerkit is perfectly comfortable in his manhood and knows that different people have different sex drives, regardless of their genitals, he would willingly tell you that I am 100% of the time, NOT a refuser.

My fiancée said that the one sure fire way for real man to go limp is knowing your partner isn't enjoying having sex with you. And, for me personally, there is no fun in trying to seduce a man who clearly isn't in the mood. Sex is about mutual pleasure, not a damn duty or job.

[jerkit]

My fiancée said that the one sure fire way for real man to go limp is knowing your partner isn't enjoying having sex with you. And, for me personally, there is no fun in trying to seduce a man who clearly isn't in the mood. Sex is about mutual pleasure, not a damn duty or job.

An egalitarian pleasure party, if you will.

[polecat]

An egalitarian pleasure party, if you will.

Now, now, now, "A man penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts." Sex is NOT an egalitarian pleasuring party!