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Caroling/Maxhell Christmas - MERGE


justakitten

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Stevie baby, slip One Ton Ramp under the tree for me;

Been an awful bad girl, Stevie baby,

So hurry with my chore pack tonight.

Stevie baby, an extra-modest frumper outfit too, light blue;

I'll wait up for you, dear; Stevie baby,

So hurry with my chore pack tonight.

Think of all the Pepsi I've missed;

Think of all the fellas that I wish I’d kissed;

Next year I could be just as bad...if you check off my Christmas list.

Stevie baby, I want Uriah and really that's not a lot;

Been a devil all year; Stevie baby,

So hurry with my chore pack tonight.

Stevie honey, one little thing I really need...

The deed...to the gates of Hell, Stevie baby,

So hurry with my chore pack tonight.

Stevie cutie, please sing a chorus of “Trust and Obey,â€

Tell me where I’m going when I die,

And hurry with my chore pack tonight.

Come remove the Christmas tree

From the home for elderly;

I really do believe it's true -

Cleaning is THE THING to do!

Stevie baby, forgot to mention one little thing...sheltering...

Take away my beastly TV; Stevie baby,

And hurry with my chore pack tonight,

Hurry with my chore pack tonight,

Hurry, tonight!

Oh, this is great! Is there any way we can sneak a guest singer into the nursing home to serenade this to Steve? I'm not sure he'd know whether to be offended or aroused. :lol:

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I think Sarah was sort of apologizing for going caroling on a Sunday. They normally don't do anything but church on Sundays. I'm sure Pearl Harbor Day wasn't even on their radar or she would have said so.

Those jackets the "sister-in-laws" (sigh) are wearing are really cool. They are expensive, but what pregnant and/or mother of an infant wouldn't love to have a winter coat like that they can actually zip closed in front AND carry baby in to keep warm. I'd never seen those before. I would have loved one when my son was born 9 days before Christmas in my very cold and wet climate!

I do wonder what's up with their very busy schedule. I think John's courting and maybe there is another sting-operation wedding in the works before NR-Anna delivers in (is it?) February.

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I think Sarah was sort of apologizing for going caroling on a Sunday. They normally don't do anything but church on Sundays. I'm sure Pearl Harbor Day wasn't even on their radar or she would have said so.

I don't know why Sarah is sort of apologizing, cause I checked the older posted about the Caroling and they do it on a Sunday in December, although I think the last few were later on in the month.

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I think Sarah was sort of apologizing for going caroling on a Sunday. They normally don't do anything but church on Sundays. I'm sure Pearl Harbor Day wasn't even on their radar or she would have said so.

Those jackets the "sister-in-laws" (sigh) are wearing are really cool. They are expensive, but what pregnant and/or mother of an infant wouldn't love to have a winter coat like that they can actually zip closed in front AND carry baby in to keep warm. I'd never seen those before. I would have loved one when my son was born 9 days before Christmas in my very cold and wet climate!

I do wonder what's up with their very busy schedule. I think John's courting and maybe there is another sting-operation wedding in the works before NR-Anna delivers in (is it?) February.

They've had baby carrier compatible coats or coats with built in carriers in Japan for years. Those coats are the first I've seen in the USA market though.

Why, when they had several blog posts about the Walk Through Jerusalem, did they not show any of the Walk Thru Jerusalem? Is it because the Walk itself did not involve the MaxHells?

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Choose your tune -- St. Louis or Forest Green (and apologies to those who know the 2nd verse with the halves reversed!):

O little town of Leavenworth,

How still we see thee lie.

Your shades are drawn, in hopes, by dawn,

The Maxwells will go by.

For down thy dark streets prowleth

Those ever-pushy pests.

Oh, how you fear they’ll knock this year

Those uninvited guests.

There’s Teri, Steve and Mary,

All gathered with the rest.

You want to sleep, but up they keep

Their caterwauling fest.

O mourning Maxwells, whining,

Start warning you, from birth

“You ne’er do well, you’ll go to Hell

When your soul leaves this earth.â€

How silently, how silently,

Your fam’ly now does crouch.

As Maxwells croon each Christmas tune,

They hide behind the couch.

No ear desires its coming,

But if your walls are thin,

Where homes aren’t brick that’s plenty thick,

Their singing enters in.

O tender folks of Leavenworth,

Beware the Maxwells’ creed.

They’ll talk of sin and enter in,

With loaves of poppy seed.

With dawn we hear the angels

The great glad tidings tell:

They’ve stopped their song and moved along,

Went back to chez Maxwell.

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Maybe John's already married? Or maybe he got married last week, so they had to carol early before heading out to the wedding.

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Reading that recipe... Is there really such a thing as "butter flavoring"??? Blasphemy, absolute blasphemy. Butter is a gift from God, it should not be reduced to mere "flavoring."

I've seen it in the store, but never used it. What's wrong with real butter? Steve would probably object to the loaves have a richer flavor.

Butter flavoring is clear, like vanilla flavoring, which is different than artificial flavoring. They're used when they're the flavoring for something that's meant to be white, like a pure white cake. You'll also usually use only egg whites. Real butter, whole eggs, and real or artificial vanilla, will tint white cakes slightly yellow. Some people are okay with that, but any time you see a true white cake, it's flavoring.

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[spoil][/spoil]

]

k2-_a8c3468d-e57d-4c54-8f75-5d8233afaf71.v1.jpg

Ho Ho HO...

Well it fits right in with the imitation church, imitation school, imitation smiles...imitation life. Plus I'm sure it's low cal :roll:

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So I went to their site (damn you guys :D ) to have a look at the baby wrangling coats. They look (and are) expensive but I'm sure NR Anna will wear hers til it's threadbare and Melanie can pass hers on down to Elisa. Hopefully later rather than sooner. And oh dear God those denim skirts to the ankle. I guess the frugal style skirts balance out the $200 coats.

I wonder if it ever passes through NRAnna's head - especially while she's grinning like a maniacal fundie stepford wife - holding a fucking elmer's glue stick and construction paper - that she used to be a crafter of fine goat's milk soap? Now she's delegated to preschool crafts with age appropriate materials. Even if I were raised in that lifestyle, I'd require a lobotomy before joining Stevie's family.

If I lived within a five mile radius of them, not only would my porch light be off the entire month of December but the front curtains would be drawn and an email would direct any visitors to the rear entrance. :D

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Choose your tune -- St. Louis or Forest Green (and apologies to those who know the 2nd verse with the halves reversed!):

O little town of Leavenworth,

How still we see thee lie.

Your shades are drawn, in hopes, by dawn,

The Maxwells will go by.

For down thy dark streets prowleth

Those ever-pushy pests.

Oh, how you fear they’ll knock this year

Those uninvited guests.

There’s Teri, Steve and Mary,

All gathered with the rest.

You want to sleep, but up they keep

Their caterwauling fest.

O mourning Maxwells, whining,

Start warning you, from birth

“You ne’er do well, you’ll go to Hell

When your soul leaves this earth.â€

How silently, how silently,

Your fam’ly now does crouch.

As Maxwells croon each Christmas tune,

They hide behind the couch.

No ear desires its coming,

But if your walls are thin,

Where homes aren’t brick that’s plenty thick,

Their singing enters in.

O tender folks of Leavenworth,

Beware the Maxwells’ creed.

They’ll talk of sin and enter in,

With loaves of poppy seed.

With dawn we hear the angels

The great glad tidings tell:

They’ve stopped their song and moved along,

Went back to chez Maxwell.

Beautiful.... Just beautiful!

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Those coats are the bomb! I would have loved to have had something like that when I was braving Indiana winters with wee ones.

I still need to borrow Ruthanne for cuddles. A hot pink footed sleeper! So un-Maxwell! You go, NR Anna.

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Why is Elisa allowed to be in the Maxwell Family Band but Anna Marie & Melanie have been excluded? I think Steve is making an idol of Elisa... Something to think about Steve-o.

I also think there is a secret courtship/wedding in the works. They're not so busy they couldn't go caroling later in December.

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Poor Sarah. Still trying to rock that headband with a big flower/bow on it at the age of 32. Looks like this time it was a fresh poinsettia blossom that was wilted by the time caroling was over.

And is that blue long-sleeved jacket Joshua is sporting in the high chair photo part of his bib routine? He's eating a cookie, not spaghetti! Good lord, such overkill.

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Poor Sarah. Still trying to rock that headband with a big flower/bow on it at the age of 32. Looks like this time it was a fresh poinsettia blossom that was wilted by the time caroling was over.

And is that blue long-sleeved jacket Joshua is sporting in the high chair photo part of his bib routine? He's eating a cookie, not spaghetti! Good lord, such overkill.

I noticed the flower too. Sarah looks like she is 10 holding the bread loaf. Yes that is Josh's bib routine. Sarah plugged it in a post earlier this year.

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I noticed the flower too. Sarah looks like she is 10 holding the bread loaf. Yes that is Josh's bib routine. Sarah plugged it in a post earlier this year.

I think NR-Anna forgot to take the "bib Joshua in creepy HAZMAT process" off the schedule and therefore cannot help but to continue that silliness. He will likely be 6 or 7 before someone realizes and edits the schedule.

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I think NR-Anna forgot to take the "bib Joshua in creepy HAZMAT process" off the schedule and therefore cannot help but to continue that silliness. He will likely be 6 or 7 before someone realizes and edits the schedule.

And i really doubt that Maxwell kids are wild food-throwing monsters :lol: I don't blame them for bibs if that were the case, like my kids - it's can save so much time to nip that food mess in the bud before it gets on clothes, toys, furniture... but the Maxwells definitely take it too far.

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My guess about the bibs is they don't want to ruin the clothes because they expect to need them for future children. My son doesn't wear bibs, but he's ruined a few shirts from dropping one food. He has a cute T-Rex shirt that is now stained brown because he spilt his chocolate milk all over it.

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O little town of Leavenworth,

How still we see thee lie.

Your shades are drawn, in hopes, by dawn,

The Maxwells will go by.

For down thy dark streets prowleth

Those ever-pushy pests.

Oh, how you fear they’ll knock this year

Those uninvited guests.

There’s Teri, Steve and Mary,

All gathered with the rest.

You want to sleep, but up they keep

Their caterwauling fest.

O mourning Maxwells, whining,

Start warning you, from birth

“You ne’er do well, you’ll go to Hell

When your soul leaves this earth.â€

How silently, how silently,

Your fam’ly now does crouch.

As Maxwells croon each Christmas tune,

They hide behind the couch.

No ear desires its coming,

But if your walls are thin,

Where homes aren’t brick that’s plenty thick,

Their singing enters in.

O tender folks of Leavenworth,

Beware the Maxwells’ creed.

They’ll talk of sin and enter in,

With loaves of poppy seed.

With dawn we hear the angels

The great glad tidings tell:

They’ve stopped their song and moved along,

Went back to chez Maxwell.

Thoughtful, you lost me my Christmas cookies!

I was singing this song to myself, which annoyed my wife. I then explained why it was so funny and pointed out your better lines...then my wife said to the cat "[lawlifelgbt's] not getting the rest of her cookies, is she?"

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I have no idea why they caroled on 12/7, and it really isn't that big a deal.

But we all know how Steve gets more and more extreme once he latches on to an idea, and it got me thinking -- thinking to the tune of O Holy Night (lawlifelgbt, my apologies in advance to your wife - sing it mentally only, if you want those cookies):

Pearl Harbor Day - the Maxwells are wassailing,

Though it’s a day that in infamy lives.

Loudly their songs our ears are now assailing,

It is so early – hey, Stevey, what gives?

It thrills old Steve to give his kids no choices,

“We sing tonight, don’t dare to look forlorn!â€

Plug up your ears! Here come the Maxwell voices!

Oh night too soon. Oh night when others mourn.

Oh night too soon, Oh night, O night too soon!

Led by the light of Stevey’s flashlight beaming

With open mouths by their neighbors’ they stand

Poppy seed loaves, with ersatz butter gleaming,

Each Maxwell holds in a hot little hand.

Just count your blessings, Stevey could get stranger,

Start sooner yet, if he goes ’round the bend:

“Hey! Labor Day! Of frost, there’s little danger.

Let’s carol then, we’ll start a brand new trend!

That’s not too soon, I say it’s not too soon!â€

Who cares what meanings days may have to others,

Steve’s law is all that his family has got.

“Let’s go on Fathers’ Day, again on Mothers’!

All Ramadan, Holi and Tu B’shvat!

Why wait to start this music in December,

Since no one ever tires of Christmas tunes!â€

Steve is in charge of every family member.

So sing Silent Night, even though it is mid-June!

O night too soon, O night, O night too soon!

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If I lived within a five mile radius of them, not only would my porch light be off the entire month of December but the front curtains would be drawn and an email would direct any visitors to the rear entrance. :D

Same here!!

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