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Amy & king dill pickle


Milly-Molly-Mandy

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Yes Amy is getting older but one thing about her is her Mom and Dad did not get married for quite some time so she may still getting in her Daddy time, what of it? Until we see a show with her parents moaning that she won't move out we really should not worry about it. One of our kids stayed longer than we expected but it didn't cost us anything and she got a good start when she moved out to an apartment in big bad Houston.

I know her parents did not officially wed until Amy was a teenager but I thought they were still together through the years and raising Amy in an intact family unit. I could be wrong, now I can't say why I thought this.

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I'm not really one to disparage choices like living at home or only working part time. If it's working for everyone involved, who cares? There isn't one right way to live and the sooner you realize that in my opinion the happier and more relaxed you become. But the thing with Amy is that she claims she has this dream, but she doesn't seem to actually want to work for it. I think she probably really wants to get married, have a couple kids, maybe work part time and volunteer at church or the kids' school. That's great, but things don't always work out the way you want or plan and it's like she has no back-up. If singing were actually her dream in life she'd be working a hell of a lot harder at it.

Similar to every other Duggar who has been introduced to the world (minus GM Mary). None of them have a solid education or backup plan. Not one them works hard, at least not by most folks' standards. They are all ill-prepared for life in the real world.

Why should Amy be any different or called out for her laziness? She is the same as the rest of the Duggars.

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But the thing with Amy is that she claims she has this dream, but she doesn't seem to actually want to work for it.

Excuse me?

You must forget. Amy is a Millenial.

She has appeared on a reality television show AND she has expressed that she would like to sing.

WHAT, exactly, do you expect her to do beyond allll that?!

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Excuse me?

You must forget. Amy is a Millenial.

She has appeared on a reality television show AND she has expressed that she would like to sing.

WHAT, exactly, do you expect her to do beyond allll that?!

:lol:

She's still missing a YouTube channel! Or is that too much work?

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Excuse me?

You must forget. Amy is a Millenial.

She has appeared on a reality television show AND she has expressed that she would like to sing.

WHAT, exactly, do you expect her to do beyond allll that?!

Weird, as a millennial myself I must have missed that memo.

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It also annoys me that the duggar girls example of a non fundie girl is someone with no ambition and little talent. It's her life to do as she pleases but I wish she'd gone to college, have a career and maybe not such a disastrous love life.

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Weird, as a millennial myself I must have missed that memo.

I did too. As did all of my friends. Here we are actually working towards our goals....

.... Sign me up for the next reality tv show if that's all it takes.

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Eh ... I am sincerely sorry if I hurt any feelings here - not my intention. But I have to admit, I give major side-eye to anyone who is in their mid, let alone late twenties, and has never been on their own. Like, you should not be pushing thirty, and have no idea what the cost of toilet paper is, or how to set up an account for your utility bills, or how to stretch a food budget. If you are in school, okay. If you HAVE been out in the world, but are having a rough time (divorce, lost your job, etc), and need to go back, okay. Your family needs help (Gram has dementia, Dad has cancer, Mom is recovering from an accident), okay. It's really great that your parents can give you a soft place to land (and/or you can help out), and no one should begrudge you that. But just ... never leaving? And posting lots of pics on instagram of you spending money (eating out, fancy coffee, shopping, etc)? Sorry (not sorry), but to me that looks like delayed adolescence. I'm sure many people would like to postpone adulthood, but that's just not how life works. If I were a man, and interested in Amy (no), I would be EXTREMELY wary of dating her seriously - she seems like she would be entirely dependent AND unused to making a priorities-based budget. So, basically, if you ended up living together - all bills/lease in your name, all credit cards in your name, responsibility of providing is on you, etc etc. Can you imagine teaching a 28 year old that most of her income (if she has any) is no longer discretionary, because bills need to be paid? That cheap toilet paper will have to do? That you don't have a fully-stocked kitchen to choose from when you "save" money by cooking? What if she can't stand being alone - is she going to be waiting at the door when you get home, like a puppy?

On the other hand, in that super conservative fundie (light, in Amy's case) culture, woman need to be kept child-like to ensure subservience, so it behooves her family for her to maintain her dependence. I mean, she's just going to be a SAHM, right? No need for education, job experience, financial literacy, etc.

***I mean no disrespect to most SAH parents, who make the choice to do so, and are perfectly capable of supporting themselves if need be.

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Eh ... I am sincerely sorry if I hurt any feelings here - not my intention. But I have to admit, I give major side-eye to anyone who is in their mid, let alone late twenties, and has never been on their own. Like, you should not be pushing thirty, and have no idea what the cost of toilet paper is, or how to set up an account for your utility bills, or how to stretch a food budget. If you are in school, okay. If you HAVE been out in the world, but are having a rough time (divorce, lost your job, etc), and need to go back, okay. Your family needs help (Gram has dementia, Dad has cancer, Mom is recovering from an accident), okay. It's really great that your parents can give you a soft place to land (and/or you can help out), and no one should begrudge you that. But just ... never leaving? And posting lots of pics on instagram of you spending money (eating out, fancy coffee, shopping, etc)? Sorry (not sorry), but to me that looks like delayed adolescence. I'm sure many people would like to postpone adulthood, but that's just not how life works. If I were a man, and interested in Amy (no), I would be EXTREMELY wary of dating her seriously - she seems like she would be entirely dependent AND unused to making a priorities-based budget. So, basically, if you ended up living together - all bills/lease in your name, all credit cards in your name, responsibility of providing is on you, etc etc. Can you imagine teaching a 28 year old that most of her income (if she has any) is no longer discretionary, because bills need to be paid? That cheap toilet paper will have to do? That you don't have a fully-stocked kitchen to choose from when you "save" money by cooking? What if she can't stand being alone - is she going to be waiting at the door when you get home, like a puppy?

On the other hand, in that super conservative fundie (light, in Amy's case) culture, woman need to be kept child-like to ensure subservience, so it behooves her family for her to maintain her dependence. I mean, she's just going to be a SAHM, right? No need for education, job experience, financial literacy, etc.

***I mean no disrespect to most SAH parents, who make the choice to do so, and are perfectly capable of supporting themselves if need be.

Just because you don't live on your own doesn't mean you cant learn the things you listed. When I lived with my parents, I paid for my own food, I paid them rent, etc. And, just because you live out of your parents' house doesn't mean you have to learn any of those things. There are many rental options that allow for people to have the landlord cover the utilities (I live in that situation; I pay way more than I should be for what I'm getting (but that's what happens when you can only house hunt using a computer and you're 3000 miles away), but my utilities are completely covered). Not to mention, not everyone has to stretch their food budget just cause they live on their own. 1/4 of my paycheck goes to healthcare, 1/4 goes to rent, 1/4 goes to savings, and I have 1/4 left over for everything else. At the end of every month, I still have about $200 left over of my "everything else," and that includes all the times that I'm eating out and/or going out.

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Yeah, the problem is that you're conflating everyone who still lives at home in their mid-late 20s with people like Amy. That's more than a little unfair. You can be an adult living at home with an ADULT role in the household. Plenty of mature adults remain at home for a variety of reasons, and frankly it's a bit ignorant to 'side-eye' them and assume that they're all naive, sheltered and helpless.

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You're right. It is judgmental, and I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time not being judgy about it. I cannot place myself or anyone I know well in a situation where we lived at home, in our childhood rooms, in perpetuity. Maybe it's generational - I'm 34, and none of my friends/family my age stayed home after college (if they didn't leave before). I'm not saying I don't know anyone who stayed at home, I'm saying I don't know anyone well (like, am actual friends with, had a relationship with for more than a hot minute, etc). I was personally out at 18, went back for a year at 23 after losing my job, and busted my butt saving money to get back on my own by 24. It's how I was raised, to be independent. If you aren't at home to go to college, help out your parents/grandparents, get back on your feet, etc, then why would you stay home? There are things about being an adult that you just don't get until you're on your own. I apologize if I didn't make it clear that the dependence stuff was specific to Amy - it has nothing to do with you specifically. She is 28 and has nothing to show for it that hasn't been manufactured by TLC.

If my kids weren't ready to be out during/after college, no matter how much I enjoyed their company, I'd feel I was doing them a disservice. Because I would worry about how they'd take care of themselves if I weren't around. I can see that other families and cultures aren't like this, but that is honestly how I feel. YMMV, obviously.

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My brother lived quite happily "at home" with my parents until he was nearly 30. The whole time he worked and saved this money and then he had his own house built and is very much set financially for many many years. He was not the college "type" Just a high school diploma, he's a welder now and perfectly happy with a fiancee. Thinking back on it now, me going out living on my own after college trying to get an entry level job and then working my way up was damn stressing, sometimes I wish I had done it his way! LOL

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You're right. It is judgmental, and I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time not being judgy about it. I cannot place myself or anyone I know well in a situation where we lived at home, in our childhood rooms, in perpetuity. Maybe it's generational - I'm 34, and none of my friends/family my age stayed home after college (if they didn't leave before). I'm not saying I don't know anyone who stayed at home, I'm saying I don't know anyone well (like, am actual friends with, had a relationship with for more than a hot minute, etc). I was personally out at 18, went back for a year at 23 after losing my job, and busted my butt saving money to get back on my own by 24. It's how I was raised, to be independent. If you aren't at home to go to college, help out your parents/grandparents, get back on your feet, etc, then why would you stay home? There are things about being an adult that you just don't get until you're on your own. I apologize if I didn't make it clear that the dependence stuff was specific to Amy - it has nothing to do with you specifically. She is 28 and has nothing to show for it that hasn't been manufactured by TLC.

If my kids weren't ready to be out during/after college, no matter how much I enjoyed their company, I'd feel I was doing them a disservice. Because I would worry about how they'd take care of themselves if I weren't around. I can see that other families and cultures aren't like this, but that is honestly how I feel. YMMV, obviously.

Because times are different and life is more expensive now than it was 10+ years ago.

I could not have afforded to live on my own anywhere near my parents' house. I had to move out of state to afford the cost of living. And, I wasn't financially able to move out the state until a year ago. It's a huge financial investment to move out of state (not counting the cost of interviewing in different states (I interviewed in Texas, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and North Carolina in the year and a half before I finally landed my job in CT), it cost me $3000 or $4000 to drive across the country, $800 for the flights to and form before the drive, and $2000 to fix my car after it broke down in Oklahoma (the cost for towing it to CT is counted in the cost of the drive). And, yes, all that was still less expensive than renting near my parents.

Here, I pay $600 for a room per month utilities included (I'm getting ripped off, but I'm stuck here for a while longer). If I lived back near my parent's house in CT, the cheapest I would be able to secure would have been $1600 for a studio apartment without any utilities included and not having been able to bring my dogs with me. If I wanted to rent near my parents and bring my dogs with me, I would have paid an upwards of $1800 a month for a studio apartment without any utilities included. Both my job here and my job when I lived with my parents paid the same: $600 a week.

At one point, while living with my parents, gas got over $5 a gallon for a couple months. Here, the highest I've paid for gas was $3.95 (now, I'm paying $2.87-3.03 (I use premium when it's cheap enough to do so because I have an old car that doesn't do well with less than premium) depending on where I am when I need to fill up). If I was to rent near my parent's house, the closest I could have lived to anywhere I could have gotten work in my chosen field and still afforded the bills would have been 24 miles. If I had stayed at the job I had when I lived with my parents, it would have been 40 miles. Here, I live 16 miles from work (again that problem with finding a place to live when you're 3000 miles away, but it's not too bad). At 16 mpg, I'm saving at least a gallon of gas per day with my commute compared to what I would have had if I had rented near my parents (actually, between my old job and my parents' house and my new job and my current house, I'm saving about a gallon a day).

If you live with your parents, you're considered a dependent. If you're a dependent, you can claim their health insurance. If you live with your parents for 3 years after the age cut off, you're still counted as a dependent and you get to claim COBRA. If I was to have paid for health insurance on my own, I would have gotten half the coverage $100 more than I did under COBRA. That's the biggest problem I have with living here: no good coverage options. At least when I lived out there, I could have gotten a co-pay plan. Here, they're all high deductible plans. I broke my hand 2 years ago. Because I was getting my health care through COBRA, I only had to pay $30 per doctor's visit and $40 for the two prescriptions they gave me for pain meds. All my x-rays were free. All 4 of my casts were free. All my visits to the cast room to make sure that things were still fitting right were free. My splint was free. If I had broken my hand under a high deductible plan, I would have paid for the majority of it.

Edited to complete a thought I forgot to finish

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Speaking of dill pickles, my workplace closed down yesterday, and they actually let me keep this:

photo_zps6cb3e590.jpg

Random, but is that from a Jimmy Johns?

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I'm 30 and I live at home. I do not have a permanent job. I pay rent. I pay for groceries, insurance, phone and my gas.

I lived alone for 4 years, but my parents are unwell and I moved back. I don't think it's that weird - I know others who do the same, especially from certain cultural backgrounds (a lot of my Chinese and Muslim friends, for instance).

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I moved out at 22 and have lived on my own since then. I think it's been a good experience, but I also probably would have stayed at home longer if I'd been able to. It would have made a lot more financial sense, mainly. I know a lot of people my age (26) and older who are still living at home, because a) they and their parents are fine with it, and b) they're trying to save money, often to buy a house. It's harder to do that these days than it was a decade or two ago.

Another thing: I'm not really sure what 'things' you just don't get until you've lived on your own. I can see how this would be true for some people, but I can't think of much I've learned exclusively from living on my own. Paying bills, managing finances, cooking, cleaning, etc. are all things one can learn and do while still in the family home. Living at home as an adult does not have to mean being dependent on your parents as you were when you were a child. If the issue is that the lifestyle you want to lead doesn't seem compatible with remaining in the family home, well, that's a personal decision you have to make, but for many it isn't a problem.

The concept of a nuclear family unit consisting of (ideally) two parents and their minor children, wherein the children are expected to move out into their own self-contained and independent households between the age of 18 and about 25 regardless of whether they're starting their own family or not, is a relatively recent and unusual phenomenon. I'm not saying it's wrong - just that through most of history it wasn't the norm, and still isn't for many even in western society.

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My college educated, 24 yo, employed son lives at home. I live here PT (my hubs is working outside of the area) and I travel quite a bit. It works for us- and I do not need the money, so he does not pay rent. He'll be able to buy a home much easier- This IS how some kids get ahead. I am retired and totally financially secure. Both of my kids are educated, employed and responsible.

Of course if my hubs and I were struggling, things would be different. My hubs owned his own home at 22. Every family and every situation is different and unique.

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My sons are educated and employed as well. They pay board/rent every week, they are expected to do their share of housework, mow the lawns etc, they pay all their own bills - phone, insurance, and make all their own appointments (someone above referenced parents making dental apps).

They are almost 21 and almost 22, and pretty much have enough money saved for a house deposit (definitely, if they buy a place together). They come and go as they please, one has been overseas and the younger one is planning to next year - we're all fine with the arrangement so far.

Are there things they could learn by moving out? Sure. But I'm sure as hell glad they're not in the position of some of their mates, already engaged with pregnant girlfriends at 21 and very little money behind them. Not that I am criticising anyone who makes the choice to start a family early, I just am glad mine aren't.

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34 here, and while I moved out for good at 24 (not counting time living at college), I know a number of people I went to college with that didn't move out until their late 20s for various reasons. For what myself and a lot of my friends majored in, tv/film production, getting into the industry is flipping hard. So many times you have to pay your dues with a lot of freelance work. Which if you have a ton of living expenses you can't do. One friend that didn't move out till he was 30 and engaged, he used the money he was saving to start his own production company and invested in equipment. That eventually led him to having an industry job today. He and his wife, who lived at home till she was 28, now own a beautiful house. I know so many with similar stories. I moved out to an area closer to jobs that I wanted, but couldn't get a break. I gave up and got a steady office job that I've been at for 10 years and hate it. If I could have stayed at home longer to have that extra time to try to get into the field I wanted I would have loved that. Bottom line just because an adult still lives at home doesn't mean they are still living like a teenager mentally. Neither does living on your own mean you always use the best judgment when it comes to money.

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I'm 30 and I live at home. I do not have a permanent job. I pay rent. I pay for groceries, insurance, phone and my gas.

I lived alone for 4 years, but my parents are unwell and I moved back. I don't think it's that weird - I know others who do the same, especially from certain cultural backgrounds (a lot of my Chinese and Muslim friends, for instance).

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Nobody needs to justify their life choices to me:) My personal opinion (and the way I was raised) was that, once you're an adult, you need to sink or swim on your own (obviously everyone should help out if it's needed). It's nice to stay home and save for a house, it's nice to figure things out and not have that pressure to work work work to make ends meet, but that is not the reality for many people, and parents have no obligation to provide that. If it works in your specific family, great! For me, personally, I would rather struggle financially and have my independence (well, pride, if you want to get right down to it), and look back and say "hey! that sucked, but I made it, and I can do it again if I have to!" Again, that is my personal opinion and is common within my peer group (mostly college educated and in early to mid-thirties). It takes all kinds, so it's great that other families have different values and function differently.

Regardless of all that, Amy acts like a teenager, and appears to live like one too (with fewer rules). Must be nice, right? I'm sure she's used as a cautionary tale to her cousins.

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That would be correct.

I personally think their pickles are just ok, but consider that I am vey spoiled by my aunt's home made dill pickles and I think all store bought pickles like Vlassic are gross.

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I don't think cousin Amy is besties with her cousins, despite what's said on show and shown on social media (although TLC hasn't been doing a very good job with the social media). Episodes featuring Amy have always come across a very staged. I have fundies in my family, and my side of the family is barely tolerated.

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