Did JB & M Marry Jessa Off Due to Her Rebelliousness?

[LongDogMom]

There have been allusions to Jessa being stubborn and somewhat headstrong. A lot of people wondered why they allowed Ben to court her when he was so young and not really settled in a job, but I wonder if some of it was because Jessa was starting to show signs of rebelliousness and they were worried that if they didn't marry her off quickly, then she might do something that would blow up in their faces. I noticed a lot of eye rolling and side-eyes that she gave her parents while courting and there was the comment about eloping some mentioned. I think she's been chomping at the bit to get away and maybe was making life difficult for them. I think she was wanting male attention and they figured this might be a good solution. Even with the wedding she clearly was making some choices that I'm not sure Michelle and JB were happy with, but I think she's pretty headstrong and will continue to make her own choices. (As opposed to Jill who seems to still be drinking the koolaid and acting like the model child following the M & JB's plan with the immediate pregnancy and talking points). What do others think?

[singsingsing]

It seems like people are torn between Jim Bob being essentially forced (for some reason, some way) to let Jessa and Ben marry even though he was really against it, and Jim Bob orchestrating the entire thing for profit, public relations, or control. What I think is that Jessa met a guy she liked. He wanted to date her, and she wanted to date him. Jim Bob decided that he passed all of his criteria. They decided they wanted to get married. So they got married. Doesn't make for as juicy a story, but it's probably much closer to reality... anyway, that's my opinion and others will disagree.

[VelociRapture]

It seems like people are torn between Jim Bob being essentially forced (for some reason, some way) to let Jessa and Ben marry even though he was really against it, and Jim Bob orchestrating the entire thing for profit, public relations, or control. What I think is that Jessa met a guy she liked. He wanted to date her, and she wanted to date him. Jim Bob decided that he passed all of his criteria. They decided they wanted to get married. So they got married. Doesn't make for as juicy a story, but it's probably much closer to reality... anyway, that's my opinion and others will disagree.

That's what I think too.

As for Jill, I think the same thing - she met a guy she fell in love with and they decided to have a baby right away. Did her upbringing influence that choice? Of course. But I think she is a very maternal person who would have wanted to have kids regardless. I don't see her as being a kool-aid drinker like everyone else - I just think her strong maternal instincts and loving personality make this lifestyle an easier fit for her than for someone like Jessa, who would have made an excellent politician or businesswoman.

[Kira]

A month(and earlier) after Jill got married many here said similar things about her marriage to Derick("I can't believe JB let her marry him", "this means she wants to leave"). Also, Jill had some non-tradional choices for her wedding. Then she announced her pregnancy... What are we going to say if by the end of the year Jessa announces she pregnant? Jessa is behaving like a model child. She speaking about marriage, along with her married siblings, at a conference next year and post biblical quotes all the time :shrug:

[DGayle]

I wouldn't be surprised if her being more headstrong had to do with it. If she goes off the rails now, it'll be Ben's fault as her new lord and master. Boob's off the hook!

She's a horny 21-year-old who probably has visions of passion that's blinding her to how Ben isn't capable yet of supporting a family. She can have sex now and a bit of freedom.

Ben is a teen fanboy who had stars in his eyes, and opportunistic parents.

None of this has any good reasons to marry.

[eh02]

I think the ol' Boob has a lot less involvement in their relationships than they let on.

Michelle seems like the one who is more in control of drawing the dating lines, and even then, I really think they've realized the amount of control they intended to exert over their adult children is just not realistic for their family. It's not like they're the Maxwells; the Duggar kids have iphones, travel regularly, meet all sorts of people (including people like Ben who creepily seek them out) etc. There's really only so much JB+M can do. They already can't even keep track of all the kids on their own without the help of the J'slaves.

I think Jessa just found a guy she had the hots for and they rushed into marriage. I don't see their relationship as any different than other young couples that are horny and eager and rush into sex and commitment.

JB+M would NEVER show that they are unhappy with anything one of their precious 19 blessings did. They'd manipulate any situation to make it seem like everything's utter perfection, and we know that, so while I can't imagine what the full story must be, I'm totally not buying the Ben story as they've shown it on TV. It's way too vague and he does not at all seem like the kind of guy Jim Bob has told the girls to look for - he's young, immature, has no career, no savings most likely, no plan for "providing." Something's up.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I think being headstrong helped Jessa in her relationship, but I don't think that JB married her off out of fear of rebellion. He did give Ben the seal of approval and he supported Ben moving closer to Jessa (to the point where he put Ben up). I really think that JB and Michelle wanted Jessa to marry Ben, and I really think that Jessa and Ben wanted to marry each other. The fact that they waited 11 months after officially courting to get engaged shows they weren't just rushing to get into the sack. I mean, Josh and Anna got married in what 3 months, and only met each other a handful of times before the engagement.

[louisa05]

A month(and earlier) after Jill got married many here said similar things about her marriage to Derick("I can't believe JB let her marry him", "this means she wants to leave"). Also, Jill had some non-tradional choices for her wedding. Then she announced her pregnancy... What are we going to say if by the end of the year Jessa announces she pregnant? Jessa is behaving like a model child. She speaking about marriage, along with her married siblings, at a conference next year and post biblical quotes all the time :shrug:

Is this a real thing? Are her and Jill, married for ten and fifteen minutes respectively, actually going to be speaking about marriage? Are people paying for that? Seriously? :roll:

[Feberin]

I think Jim Bob knew a wedding would keep the show alive. Jessa was an obvious choice when Ben came along. I think her being headstrong might have made Jim Bob feel that not allowing her to court Ben might blow up in his face. I know a lot of people made similar comments about Josh being married off to prevent his rebellion and I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that Jim Bob finds it easier to marry off the children who are less likely to happily remain at home as adults.

[singsingsing]

'Something's up.' - Okay, what's up? I see this assertion thrown around a lot. What's the big scandal? What's the secret? What's the motivation behind it? Jim Bob and Jessa and Ben and everyone are deceiving the world, for what purpose? What do they hope to gain, or fear to lose, and what are they actually trying to hide? People talk about the fact that Ben is young and doesn't have a career like these are dark secrets the Duggars don't want to get out, when in fact this is all common knowledge and has been featured openly on the show. There is no cover up. For better or for worse, they know these things about Ben, they've had no issue sharing them, and they don't seem to see them as flaws.

'Jessa and Ben were so horny they rushed into marriage' - really? A year of dating is rushing into marriage? Once again I want to challenge everyone who continues to throw this accusation out there as to why it applies to Jessa and Ben and not to Jill and Derick. Why are Jessa and Ben, who actually waited longer than Jill and Derick to get married, accused of being motivated solely by their libido, while Jill and Derick, who 'rushed' into marriage much faster, are not? Is it because Jessa and Ben are hotter? Seriously, I'm waiting for some kind of none bullshit explanation here.

Maybe it's just me, but it really seems especially in the past few months that the snark directed at the Duggars has taken a turn from focusing on the things they actually do and say, to the things that people amuse themselves imagining they might be thinking and doing in secret. But how can you attack someone for an action or thought which as far as you know exists only in your own imagination? What's the point of speculating on the why's and what if's of totally made-up dilemmas?

They've become total caricatures here: Michelle is the mentally unhinged sociopathic robot obsessed to the point of insanity with producing more offspring; Jim Bob is the manipulative mastermind behind vague and inexplicable conspiracies, pulling the strings and selling his children for profit and power; Jessa is a cold-hearted bitch chomping at the bit to get away from her family but also so desperate to have sex that she'll marry the first chump who comes along; Ben is a complete idiot incapable of anything, motivated purely by horniness, and either the puppet or the mortal enemy of Jim Bob. I could go on, but what's the point? What's the point of snarking on fictional characters - because that's what they've become. This is now a complete circle jerk of reinforcing each other's fantasies.

It's obvious that a lot of people get a lot of enjoyment out of this. Okay, then. I can't understand it, but go for it. Have fun insulting 'Jimboob', 'Milkdud', 'Bin', 'Smuggar', and 'the Dullards'. I'm sure the real Duggars truly appreciate that your attention has been removed from them and directed at these cartoonish parodies. The more ridiculous the speculation gets, the less seriously anyone will take criticism leveled against them, so I'm sure they will thank you (I'm sorry, are thanking you, given that they read here obsessively and respond to your posts via passive aggressive updates on instagram).

[nst]

On a side note - The Duggar extravaganza of the wedding, the courtships, the pregnancy made People magazine's 2014 intriguing list.

with a picture of the six of them

https://www.google.ca/search?q=images+o ... B600%3B450

[Kira]

Is this a real thing? Are her and Jill, married for ten and fifteen minutes respectively, actually going to be speaking about marriage? Are people paying for that? Seriously? :roll:

It's called the "Alive Festival" :

viewtopic.php?f=87&t=24385

[AndyActually]

'Something's up.' - Okay, what's up? I see this assertion thrown around a lot. What's the big scandal? What's the secret? What's the motivation behind it? Jim Bob and Jessa and Ben and everyone are deceiving the world, for what purpose? What do they hope to gain, or fear to lose, and what are they actually trying to hide? People talk about the fact that Ben is young and doesn't have a career like these are dark secrets the Duggars don't want to get out, when in fact this is all common knowledge and has been featured openly on the show. There is no cover up. For better or for worse, they know these things about Ben, they've had no issue sharing them, and they don't seem to see them as flaws.

'Jessa and Ben were so horny they rushed into marriage' - really? A year of dating is rushing into marriage? Once again I want to challenge everyone who continues to throw this accusation out there as to why it applies to Jessa and Ben and not to Jill and Derick. Why are Jessa and Ben, who actually waited longer than Jill and Derick to get married, accused of being motivated solely by their libido, while Jill and Derick, who 'rushed' into marriage much faster, are not? Is it because Jessa and Ben are hotter? Seriously, I'm waiting for some kind of none bullshit explanation here.

Maybe it's just me, but it really seems especially in the past few months that the snark directed at the Duggars has taken a turn from focusing on the things they actually do and say, to the things that people amuse themselves imagining they might be thinking and doing in secret. But how can you attack someone for an action or thought which as far as you know exists only in your own imagination? What's the point of speculating on the why's and what if's of totally made-up dilemmas?

They've become total caricatures here: Michelle is the mentally unhinged sociopathic robot obsessed to the point of insanity with producing more offspring; Jim Bob is the manipulative mastermind behind vague and inexplicable conspiracies, pulling the strings and selling his children for profit and power; Jessa is a cold-hearted bitch chomping at the bit to get away from her family but also so desperate to have sex that she'll marry the first chump who comes along; Ben is a complete idiot incapable of anything, motivated purely by horniness, and either the puppet or the mortal enemy of Jim Bob. I could go on, but what's the point? What's the point of snarking on fictional characters - because that's what they've become. This is now a complete circle jerk of reinforcing each other's fantasies.

It's obvious that a lot of people get a lot of enjoyment out of this. Okay, then. I can't understand it, but go for it. Have fun insulting 'Jimboob', 'Milkdud', 'Bin', 'Smuggar', and 'the Dullards'. I'm sure the real Duggars truly appreciate that your attention has been removed from them and directed at these cartoonish parodies. The more ridiculous the speculation gets, the less seriously anyone will take criticism leveled against them, so I'm sure they will thank you (I'm sorry, are thanking you, given that they read here obsessively and respond to your posts via passive aggressive updates on instagram).

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[nst]

'Jessa and Ben were so horny they rushed into marriage' - really? A year of dating is rushing into marriage? Once again I want to challenge everyone who continues to throw this accusation out there as to why it applies to Jessa and Ben and not to Jill and Derick. Why are Jessa and Ben, who actually waited longer than Jill and Derick to get married, accused of being motivated solely by their libido, while Jill and Derick, who 'rushed' into marriage much faster, are not? Is it because Jessa and Ben are hotter? Seriously, I'm waiting for some kind of none bullshit explanation here.

Maybe it's just me, but it really seems especially in the past few months that the snark directed at the Duggars has taken a turn from focusing on the things they actually do and say, to the things that people amuse themselves imagining they might be thinking and doing in secret. But how can you attack someone for an action or thought which as far as you know exists only in your own imagination? What's the point of speculating on the why's and what if's of totally made-up dilemmas?

They've become total caricatures here: Michelle is the mentally unhinged sociopathic robot obsessed to the point of insanity with producing more offspring; Jim Bob is the manipulative mastermind behind vague and inexplicable conspiracies, pulling the strings and selling his children for profit and power; Jessa is a cold-hearted bitch chomping at the bit to get away from her family but also so desperate to have sex that she'll marry the first chump who comes along; Ben is a complete idiot incapable of anything, motivated purely by horniness, and either the puppet or the mortal enemy of Jim Bob. I could go on, but what's the point? What's the point of snarking on fictional characters - because that's what they've become. This is now a complete circle jerk of reinforcing each other's fantasies.

I seriously love what you wrote :D

[calimojo]

SingSingSing, your post was brilliant

[OodOnTheLoo]

On a side note - The Duggar extravaganza of the wedding, the courtships, the pregnancy made People magazine's 2014 intriguing list.

with a picture of the six of them

https://www.google.ca/search?q=images+o ... B600%3B450

Intriguing? No, freak show curiosities? Yes! They look so normal, pretty even and yet...

[Mellanya]

I agree with previous comments.

Jessa and Ben did NOT "rush" into a marriage (well, for my personal view on that they kind of did, but not for fundie circles). It's obvious they waited longer than average, and it seems to me that they did it at a point they felt they were ready for it - and not out of any sexual motivation.

Also, I do think that Jessa was never "disgusted" or anything by Ben. At the beginning, she acted weird, yes. But IMO that's not just because she's not the deeply emotional type but because she was taught all her life that relationships are dangerous without a wedding ring. She needed some time to find a way to relate to a guy who was romantically interested in her. And I think, the pictures 6 months into their courtship (and after that) display this change, aka the getting used to it, very nicely.

Their wedding pictures (which are stunningly beautiful) and the pics they posted after the wedding really do speak of love and affection for each other. Seriously, have you seen Jessa's smile on some of them? She never smiled like that on the show. Like it or not - she's very happy right now. And that, I think (or hope) is something her idiot parents saw coming and no matter how twisted they are, Jessa acting within the rules of their world and being really happy was enough to convince them that this marriage is a good choice.

Now, I personally don't believe that this is going to last forever, simply because Ben is very young and immature and I don't think they'll deal well with change, but that's my opinion, not a fact. Also, I do think Ben made a bad choice when he agreed to become Bob's little slave, and I think that close connection there is going to weight heavily on the couple a few years down the road. I also can't imagine that Ben is personality-wise strong enough to handle Jessa in a way that is demanded of him, but he might change, and I think that's also going to cause problems.

As for Ben, as much as I dislike him because he IS a tool, I can see why Jessa likes him. Also, while he's not my type, he does have beautiful blue eyes.

So now, I think we should focus again on what's really wrong with the family.

[JillyO]

I don't think there's some huge conspiracy going on as to why Jessa and Ben were allowed to get married. Do I still think it is curious? Heck yes, and here's why:

Jim Bob made huuuge deal out of questioning Derrick how he was going to provide for Jill bla bla bla and Derrick had to explain how he had just been offered a job and how he had no student loans from college, yada yada yada. About two-and-a-half seconds later, Ben asks to marry Jessa. Because he knows that Ben has no way of providing for Jessa, Jim Bob decides that he won't question Ben about it, and gives them his blessing anyway. Because what was Ben supposed to say? "Why, I do not know Mr. Duggar. Perhaps you could pay me to scrub your toilets?"

Bottom line, do I think Jessa (seriously) threatened to elope or provoke some other kind of scandal? I highly doubt it. But I sure as hell think Jim Bob is a huge hypocrit for preaching financial responsibility and how the man is supposed to provide for his family and then allowing a 19-year-old boy without a job or any kind of degree to marry his daughter and have eleventy kids with her.

[RosyDaisy]

I think JB wants his pretty princesses married to men who are not from fundie royal families. He wants them married to yes men and/or men he doesn't have to share the spotlight with. I don't think it has anything to do with Jessa showing signs of rebellion.

I also think JB now feels pressured to marry off Jana and JD off given all the negative attention the family has been getting lately. Actually, I thinking JB was feeling pressure to marry off some of his older offspring since it's been ~6 years since Josh married Anna.

[nst]

I am from the camp that Jill and Derick rushed into marriage for whatever reason,

Jessa and Ben in my book didn't rush - it seems to me they really got to know each other. It was over a year, as for Jessa in the beginning of her relationship with Ben -she did seem awkward and less emotional, but towards the engagement and second part of the season this year you could tell she was becoming more emotionally involved with him especially once he moved in.

You could tell a difference. And when I noticed a huge difference was in her voice changing if that made any sense and her complete happiness during the engagement episode, - you can always tell when Jessa is emotional by the way her voice changes, i saw it in that episode and I have seen it in the previews for the wedding. I think Jessa is not the perfect fundie princess but a woman who fell in love with the man she courted and wanted to be with him. I think Jessa being headstrong is part of her personality and I applaud her for it.

And I think that Jessa knows the show will end one day and probably is looking forward to it. She will have to live with Ben when the cameras are away and she knows that.

their wedding photos are stunning -there is a passion you can see in the pictures - a real happiness and that is lovely to see.... and yes Jessa is glowing and it is a lovely thing to see.

[eh02]

Do I still think it is curious? Heck yes, and here's why:

Jim Bob made huuuge deal out of questioning Derrick how he was going to provide for Jill bla bla bla and Derrick had to explain how he had just been offered a job and how he had no student loans from college, yada yada yada. About two-and-a-half seconds later, Ben asks to marry Jessa. Because he knows that Ben has no way of providing for Jessa, Jim Bob decides that he won't question Ben about it, and gives them his blessing anyway. Because what was Ben supposed to say? "Why, I do not know Mr. Duggar. Perhaps you could pay me to scrub your toilets?"

Bottom line, do I think Jessa (seriously) threatened to elope or provoke some other kind of scandal? I highly doubt it. But I sure as hell think Jim Bob is a huge hypocrit for preaching financial responsibility and how the man is supposed to provide for his family and then allowing a 19-year-old boy without a job or any kind of degree to marry his daughter and have eleventy kids with her.

Yes, this!! I'm sorry, how is it not hypocritical for Ben to be A-OK by Duggar standards when we have been subjected to literally a decade of them going on and on about how specific their requirements for "husband material" are? And now Ben comes along and we find out everything is just a loose suggestion? :roll:

I don't know HOW many times we have had to hear Jim Bob, Michelle, and even the girls say that they expect a man to be able to financially provide for his family at the time that he is married. Jim Bob even co-wrote that fundie book about young adult men saving money while living at home to buy a house/car in cash before marriage, didn't he?

Now, I don't care if Jessa and Ben get married - they definitely WANTED to get married, that much is obvious - but Jim Bob and Michelle being totally fine with it...I'm not buying it. And I don't think it is unreasonable to think that they fake being fine with it because they have to make everything look like they are in control on the show. Frankly, your daughter marrying a younger man who has to do random chores just to make a few bucks to buy an engagement ring is a pretty big sign anyone is not ready for marriage, much less a fundie family who is supposed to be living on one income.

And that's the difference between Ben and Derick IMO. First off, I think Jill and Derick probably knew each other longer than we realized and didn't get engaged quite as quickly as they make it seem. But beyond that, fast fundie marriage is not unusual in itself. The unusual part is getting married when the man is that young and unable to provide financially. Ben is in school with little to no income, and that's a really sharp contrast to most other fundie men who are working very hard to save up from a pretty young age. Derick would clearly be able to provide for Jill without the show. WTF would Ben do?

[jerkit]

The correct answer is usually the most obvious: Jessa and Ben were attracted to each other. They had a relationship. They got married.

[nst]

I don't know where to post this = but apparently the duggar clan including Jill and Derick (Which i find insane - should a pregnant woman be flying 15 hours?)

are off to El Salvador

- no mention of J&B

which is a good thing :D

[eh02]

I don't know where to post this = but apparently the duggar clan including Jill and Derick (Which i find insane - should a pregnant woman be flying 15 hours?)

are off to El Salvador

- no mention of J&B

which is a good thing :D

Wow, I remember them saying recently they were prepping for the trip, but I'm surprised Jill is going. I doubt it's especially high risk for her (very unlikely that she'd give birth at ~26 weeks with a so far seemingly healthy/normal pregnancy) but...you obviously couldn't do any physical labor, would need to rest a lot etc.

Then again, since most of the "work" they do seems to be handing out tracts and talking about Jesus to poor unsuspecting brown skinned people, many of whom are ALREADY CHRISTIAN, I guess Jill would be perfectly fine. El Salvador is over 75% Christian. The Duggars really need to stop the stupid voluntourism.

[BrownieMomma]

Wow, I remember them saying recently they were prepping for the trip, but I'm surprised Jill is going. I doubt it's especially high risk for her (very unlikely that she'd give birth at ~26 weeks with a so far seemingly healthy/normal pregnancy) but...you obviously couldn't do any physical labor, would need to rest a lot etc.

Then again, since most of the "work" they do seems to be handing out tracts and talking about Jesus to poor unsuspecting brown skinned people, many of whom are ALREADY CHRISTIAN, I guess Jill would be perfectly fine. El Salvador is over 75% Christian. The Duggars really need to stop the stupid voluntourism.

Amen to that.