Why do these women need to be "rescued" by men to be happy?

[fabkiwi06]

Part of it... for me at least.. is the fairytale aspect. Even though I know the real world is a cold cruel place and I am a strong independent woman who is more than happy to take care of myself and encourage other women to do the same, there is still a (pretty substantial) part of me that LOVES a good fairytale story.

The Duggar Girls - Jana in particular - have had a life that we perceive to have been very rough and we want them to have their happy ending. The most cliche happy ending (that makes the most sense based on their lifestyle) is for them to marry someone that would fill the "handsome prince" role. Realistically, none of them are gonna run the way we all want them to.

Yeah... I know life's not a fairytale. But honestly... the Duggars are about as real to us as Cinderella or Snow White. Unless you know them personally, it really is just harmless, silly speculation.

[luv2laugh]

Jim Bob is only going to allow them to marry men with the same beliefs. Then, Jana would be subject to her husband. I guess I find it most surprising because most of you are very against the Duggars beliefs yet are hoping for Jana to marry "to escape". It would not be "an escape" from her current life. Do you realize that her future husband will have the same beliefs that her father does? Do you expect her to divorce her husband to "escape" then? There will never be the type of escape you all are talking about unless Jana were to A) leave her parents and family or B) divorce her future husband. Albeit hard, both can be done however, I believe Jana never will because I think she is happy.

[Nishi621]

How could Jana support herself with a jr high education, at best, and no marketable job skills? She can't leave as easy as you think.[/quote]

Here in NY, tons of people make a very good living as a nanny, dog walker and tons of other jobs that do not require a higher education. Plus, as lousy as her homeschooling might have been, to have gotten a GED from the state, she would have had to have passed the state GED test, so, she has that at least

[Free Them All]

Jana has money and should be allowed to leave her home and go to get a college education so she can decide on a career. If marriage comes later, so be it....but the career is essential as a means of independent support. A parent that forbids this is in my opinion committing child abuse. I do not support any of these girls getting married BEFORE they have become independent adults with an education and career goals met. The same is true for John David and all of the adult children in that family. Take your money, find a good community college, get your GED and go forward with school.

[CorruptionInc.]

Jana has money and should be allowed to leave her home and go to get a college education so she can decide on a career. If marriage comes later, so be it....but the career is essential as a means of independent support. A parent that forbids this is in my opinion committing child abuse. I do not support any of these girls getting married BEFORE they have become independent adults with an education and career goals met. The same is true for John David and all of the adult children in that family. Take your money, find a good community college, get your GED and go forward with school.

Bit hard when you all share the one communal bank account and kids only get 1 cent per chore...

[BlackSheep]

Besides lack of a decent education and no job experience, Jana and the other girls have no experience at having a job.

They've never had to fit their life around a work schedule that's set by a boss whose concern is The Business - not you.

They don't spend hours each day interacting closely with people whose views and language and ethics don't match theirs. You don't have to like your coworkers, but you have to get along with them. And if you can't get along with them, then you just have to deal with them.

Feeling sick and not able to help with your buddy group or jurisdiction? Your gaggle of siblings and their servants' hearts will be happy to pick up the slack. Your coworkers? Maybe. Maybe not.

Need to request time off? Need to adjust your schedule for a doctor appointment? When you have a real job, you can be told no.

And Duggar time? Yeah, that's not happening.

Getting a job might be the easy part. Holding onto said job? Possibly huge adjustments on all levels.

[luv2laugh]

If Jana wanted to leave, she could be a nanny easily or even work at McDonald's. There are a plethora of minimum wage jobs available for people with GEDs. However, again, Jana does not want to leave. It is normal to be sad when the sisters you've been so close with move away and get married. It is completely normal for her to be a little sad about it. The point is, she is clearly happy with her life and I don't understand why people create crazy rumors about her and everyday post on this site begging for a man to take her so she can "escape". If she marries, the husband will have the same beliefs as Jim Bob. Then will you be begging for her to get a divorce to "escape"? It seems like some here are setting themselves up for disappointment.

[Kira]

If Jana wanted to leave, she could be a nanny easily or even work at McDonald's. There are a plethora of minimum wage jobs available for people with GEDs. However, again, Jana does not want to leave. She is clearly happy and I don't understand why people create crazy rumors about her and everyday post on this site begging for a man to take her so she can "escape". If she married, the husband will have the same beliefs as Jim Bob. Then will you be begging for her to get a divorce to "escape"?

How do you know she does not want to leave? Have you spoken to her? Are you just guessing she doesn't want to leave? Do you know her parents have said the kids will live at home until they're married? I'm not saying that she's sad. I don't know how she feels about being at home.

No one here is begging for a man to marry her. Marriage can be a way out for a woman like Jana. Yes, her husband will be Christian, but that doesn't mean he will be like Jim Bob. Look at Jill's husband Derick. There is a chance that marriage could be worse that living at home, but it could also be good for Jana.

I don't think getting a job would be hard. The hard part would be deciding to leave her family.

[luv2laugh]

How do you know she does not want to leave? Have you spoken to her? Are you just guessing she doesn't want to leave? Do you know her parents have said the kids will live at hone until they're married?

No one here is begging for a man to marry her. Marriage can be a way out for a woman like Jana. Yes, her husband will be Christian, but that doesn't mean he will be like Jim Bob. Look at Jill's husband Derick.

Derrick shares the same beliefs that Jim Bob has. Well, if you think that marriage is her "escape" (again, Jana is happy), then how do you expect her to "escape" from her husband? Do you expect her to get a divorce? That would be MUCH harder than her choosing to be like Amy if she wanted. Maybe people's ideas of this phantasmal escape are just a projection onto Jana. Some so hate their beliefs and lifestyle that they truly start to believe that Jana hates it too. Again, I don't know what kind of "escape" you all are looking for but I think those that want her to "escape" through marriage are setting yourselves up for disappointment.

[Kira]

Derrick shares the same beliefs that Jim Bob has.

Yes, Derick is a Christian, that doesn't mean that he is the same as Jim Bob

[Kira]

I wouldn't call Jill and Jessa's marriages an escape. I wish these women were given more options. I hate that marriage is the way out of their parents house.

[Feberin]

Derrick shares the same beliefs that Jim Bob has. Well, if you think that marriage is her "escape" (again, Jana is happy), then how do you expect her to "escape" from her husband? Do you expect her to get a divorce? That would be MUCH harder than her choosing to be like Amy if she wanted. Maybe people's ideas of this phantasmal escape are just a projection onto Jana. Some so hate their beliefs and lifestyle that they truly start to believe that Jana hates it too. Again, I don't know what kind of "escape" you all are looking for but I think those that want her to "escape" through marriage are setting yourselves up for disappointment.

Although I don't know the whole story of their courtship one of Anna's sisters is married to a man who after they were married decided to become conservative mainstream Christians instead of fundies. The Keller parents accepted this because she was following her headship's control, which was not their reaction to their oldest son or single daughter also leaving fundamentalism. People also do change over time especially young people. Even somebody like Ben who posts hateful things all the time and seems really gun ho now may change his tune over time. He's at an age when many people tend to be most fanatic with their beliefs. Jim Bob on the other hand is very unlikely to start questioning things.

Personally I don't see marriage as an escape however I think for many of the girls it's what they desire. They've been taught all their lives that their goal in life is to be a wife and mother. Reading posts Sarah Maxwell makes me believe that she would like nothing better then to marry and have her own family. Jana is less clear but it would in no way surprise me to find out that she wanted to marry a man with similar beliefs and start a family.

I'm also confused about the part where you talk about her being like Amy. What does that even mean? Amy didn't have to leave her family since she was never raised fundie and her relatives accepted that since there was never the expectation that Amy would be a fundie. Also what amazing thing has Amy done with her life? She's trying to become a country music star, nannies and I believe lives at home. That's a pretty privileged life that can only be enjoyed by those whose parents support them "finding" themselves throughout their twenties. I could be wrong and she nannies full time and pays rent to her parents/has her own place. But she always seems like she just nannies part-time and mooches off her parents. I doubt Deana would be wiling to support her niece was well.

[alba]

If Jana wanted to leave, she could be a nanny easily or even work at McDonald's. There are a plethora of minimum wage jobs available for people with GEDs. However, again, Jana does not want to leave. It is normal to be sad when the sisters you've been so close with move away and get married. It is completely normal for her to be a little sad about it. The point is, she is clearly happy with her life and I don't understand why people create crazy rumors about her and everyday post on this site begging for a man to take her so she can "escape". If she marries, the husband will have the same beliefs as Jim Bob. Then will you be begging for her to get a divorce to "escape"? It seems like some here are setting themselves up for disappointment.

I really don't see Jana finding work as a nanny, unless she manages to hit upon a family of leghumpers. Imagine you were a parent, and you have this applicant who either a) you've never heard of, and she has no references besides her own parents (a HUGE no-no on CVs), and no experience besides caring for her own children, or b) you have heard of her, because she's from this uber-right-wing family on TV whose values you really don't want instilled in your children. Fundie women would never admit such failure as to need a nanny, so those are out, unless there's a widower with a gaggle of small children. So that leaves leghumpers, who probably would love nothing more than having a Duggar woman teach their children all the Duggars' "good Christian values". So theoretically Jana could find work as a nanny, but only if she found the right kind of family.

I admit I don't know what it's like in the US, but every time someone says the Duggar women could easily find minimum wage jobs really gets on my nerves, because I spent two years being shot down for minimum wage jobs with a Master's degree because I "lacked experience" (yeah, no one explained how I was supposed to get that experience). It can be really, really hard to get that foot in the door until you have something to put on your CV besides "running my parents' household since the age of 7". This isn't directed at you specifically, but just because there are jobs out there that hire people with Jana's education level doesn't mean they'd take on someone with Jana's work experience.

[Toothfairy]

I see marriage as one way out. Fundies finally get to spend time alone. The only downside is babies right away. And who would hire a fundie as a nanny?