How Many More Before Anna Cracks?

[LongDogMom]

Raising kids is not easy, especially a lot of very young kids who require a lot of maintenance and attention and can't do much on their own. With Anna now preggers with her fourth and with no sign of stopping, I wonder how many more babies before she might find it too much to handle.

 

Clearly she gets all her self esteem from living the Duggar beliefs of having as many kids as possible and we all know JB and M are doing everything they can to encourage that despite Michelle having had her own anger issues and a breakdown of sorts when her oldest kids were young (I think she had around 5 at the time)...it's hard when you don't have a bunch of live=in babysitters to do all the hard work and you have to parent all those kids on your own.

 

With Gothard's rules of behaviour for women being that they should always be happy and joyfully having all these kids and looking after them, not to mention cooking for her family, cleaning, homeschooling and ready for sex whenever hubby wants it... well, I can't help but think that the reality of actually having to take care of so many kids every day with little help will take its toll eventually. And if it does...will Anna even feel able to raise the issue of being overwhelmed or tired or unable to cope? Everything about their way of life is centered about the whole belief of having this army of kids and the woman being happy and subservient. How could she help but feel like a failure if she finds herself struggling? Not to mention the dangers of post partum depression or worse, psychosis. I just don't know how they lifestyle can't take a toll on the woman's self esteem and set them up to feel like failures, at least secretly to themselves. I love my kids, but there were some days ... and I only had two to worry about.

 

How many before we start seeing Anna start cracking?

[nst]

I think Josh will crack first

and Anna will crack after 2 more imo

[Belugaloo]

I think she'll crack around the time she finds out she is pregnant with #7.

I just think it'll be interesting to see if she cracks a la Michelle, and becomes even more fundie/continues procreating, or if she'll go fundie lite.

[ariel9]

I agree with Josh cracking first and it sorta feels like it already is happening. It seems like Josh is ok with having a smaller family but Anna wants more. Josh knows that he has to take care of them all for who knows how long. He does not have a steady job and will find it near impossible to go to college. I mean best case scenario is that he finds scholarship but he still has a wife (who idk if she can contribute) and 4 kids to support. The messed up part is a lot of the predicted issues can be prevented by just wearing a condom or secretly getting a vasectomy.

I think Anna will probably crack if Josh does not give her the children that she wants. Women in that culture derive a lot of self worth from babies.Also another way she can crack is if she does not have another girl soon or she starts having kids in closer intervals.

[MatthewDuggar]

She seems completely stressed out and ready t crack no whenever all of them are awake and Smugs is gone. I call that she'll be having a "Nanny" after she grunts out #4. The only J'slaves left are Jana, Jinger and Joyless Anna. Does Anna have any suitable sisters to fill the role?

[anjulibai]

I don't think she'll crack. They'll just send a sister-in-law over when she's on kid 6 or 7.

Plus, by the time she is on kid 6 or 7, Mackynzie will probably be 9-11, well old enough to be a sister-mom, family cook and maid in their world.

Josh, though, might crack. He's looking rather worse for wear lately.

[16strong]

Remember now, J'chelle cracked at what, 5?, but she kept going...and going...and going. Mental states seem irrelevant to fundies.

[JoylessAnna]

She seems completely stressed out and ready t crack no whenever all of them are awake and Smugs is gone. I call that she'll be having a "Nanny" after she grunts out #4. The only J'slaves left are Jana, Jinger and Joyless Anna. Does Anna have any suitable sisters to fill the role?

Nope. Esther (a.k.a. real-life Poisonwood Bible), Rebekah (fundie-lite), and Priscilla are all married with families. Their youngest sister, Suze, lives in TX and has a daughter.

ETA: Suze also left ATI altogether by the looks of it.

[MoonFace]

She seems completely stressed out and ready t crack no whenever all of them are awake and Smugs is gone. I call that she'll be having a "Nanny" after she grunts out #4. The only J'slaves left are Jana, Jinger and Joyless Anna. Does Anna have any suitable sisters to fill the role?

Perhaps one of the 'maiden' aunts will come to 'help' for a while.

Might be that will become Jana's "calling"?

[singsingsing]

She won't crack. Her kids will continue to be spaced 2+ years apart, so she will have a little more time between pregnancies and newborns to recover. She will never have the financial or emotional burden that Michelle did. Plus, Anna seems to genuinely LOVE children and truly want more of them. She will always have people around to help her. Most likely her fertility will decline with each passing year and she won't have more than 10. That's still a crazy number, and I'm not saying she won't be stressed and tired. But I don't think she'll crack. This is what she's always wanted, and she seems to still want it even after the reality of 3 babies.

[Alexa]

Josh is going to crack before she does. He looks like he's 40 and he is only 25 or so. He looks like he just wants to come home and relax but that option isn't open to him. It makes me wonder how Anna is really doing with the housekeeping and child raising since Josh looks so stressed out. From what they make it seem, Anna should be doing all the house/child work and Josh makes the money.

Anna will crack at about 6 kids. If she was sending her kids to school and preschool she would get more of a break, but with all of them home I don't think things are going to be pretty. Anna doesn't appear to have the stamina that Michelle has and Josh already looks like he's older than Jim Bob. I won't be surprised if they send their kids to private school.

I really hope Jana doesn't get stuck raising their kids too.

[Toothfairy]

Josh is going to cracked before Anna does. He needs to talk about his concerns with her

[Georgiana]

I think the real test isn't going to be number of children (Anna does have fairly long spacing between pregnancies), but the decreased financial means and style of living with each additional child.

Its much easier going from little to much than it is to go from much to little. If you can get your hands on one of the early specials, LOOK at the Duggar's living conditions: everything second hand, 14 kids in a TINY house, the cheapest food, all bought in bulk. No computers. No cell phones. No luxuries.

Now look at them. Everyone has an iPhone. They have a huge, nice house. 80 gajillion vehicles. NEW clothes.

Even Josh and Anna...look at THEIR wedding. It's nothing on Jill's, but still it was a step up from probably what would have happened pre-TLC. Look at their clothes and house from then to now.

The TLC money will run out, and when it does, Josh and Anna will have to make a choice: keep having kids and go back to the style of living the Duggars had pre-TLC....or stop and keep living the way they've become accustomed. I personally think that Josh did not like growing up the way he did and will choose the latter.

[fabkiwi06]

I question if either of them are cracking already and that's why they keep shipping Jana to DC.

Anna seems blissfully unaware of any "bad things" in the world. She has a sister-in-law for a nanny, relatively good kids, a husband who is pulling in a heafy TV paycheck on top of whatever is from his "real job", and now she gets to do her favorite thing in the world - be pregnant. Anna is doing fine.

Josh seems overwhelmed with life in general... I'm sure baby #4 is more than he can handle. And if Michelle had a honest to goodness mental breakdown... I'd worry that her kids are prone to that too. I'm sure Josh had it easier than the J'Slaves... but I have a feeling Josh had his cross to bare as the oldest child and had to shoulder some responsibility beyond what should have been expected of him. Add in the fact he's in a culture that does not encourage seeking help for anything outside of reading the bible...

I don't think he's doing well at all.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Josh will crack first. He lived the hell of having 18 younger siblings, so maybe he doesn't want his own kids to feel like he did. Anna doesn't realise how much it sucked, as she only got to know them when things had improved, she didn't see the earlier years, and didn't live it herself as she was one of only eight. Having parents that don't really care, and a whole bunch of younger siblings isn't fun. Especially not when you are one of the older ones-they are the first to be overlooked. How much time did Josh get with Michelle and Jimbob when he was a little kid and wanting attention? This laundry room meltdown Michelle had was when she had seven kids, so Josh would be little enough to need attention himself, but also have memories from this age. I bet life was chaos then, his mom always being heavily pregnant, parents too busy with being very pregnant, having a tiny baby and a few toddlers to look after, no time for him because he can dress himself and wipe his own butt, and knows not to stick a fork in the toaster or drink the bleach under the sink. All of their attention is on the endless amounts of chores and the babies. When youre drowning in laundry and have to get it done or the kids will have no clothes to wear tomorrow, but the baby is crying, toddlers are tantruming and getting into things they shouldn't, there is always someone who needs to go potty or needs changing, or is about to do something dangerous, or is crying...they wouldn't have time for the seven year old who doesn't need much supervision. That doesn't mean he doesn't need attention, but they were so overwhelmed the babies were their priority and they weren't coping...any sane person would have stopped until the kids were older, but having so many little kids is inevitable for Quiverfull people. He remembers the years where they were crammed into a tiny house, being given Pearl style spankings and nobody was there for them to hide that from as everyone they knew approved of it, the ugly clothing, living in poverty and not having much to eat. Also the kids who would get the worst of it if Anna ended up like Michelle, and would be slaving away looking after their siblings, and getting ignored by their parents? The ones who are about now that he is bonding with and loves very much. I imagine a lot of people with shitty parents worry about one day being a bad parent to their own kids.

He is a loving father, and does a better job than his parents-Josh and Anna seem to do well with their 3 kids, hopefully things wont go downhill if they keep on having more.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I'm in the camp that thinks Josh will crack first.

I hope he actually tries to take some control over this situation and discuss birth control options with Anna before they have too many and it gets to be too much for them to handle. If she won't listen, maybe he could refuse sex to show he's serious about limiting their family size.

I don't want Josh to do anything to hurt or control Anna in any way, but maybe he needs to threaten something drastic in order to get her attention sot hat she understands too many kids isn't the right decision to make.

[RosyDaisy]

I'm also in the Josh will crack first camp. It may prompt him to seek out a real job and put the kids in public school.

[anjulibai]

He could always have a vasectomy on the down low. Doesn't require her to do anything at all and she can't really prevent him from doing it.

[Sundaymorning]

He could always have a vasectomy on the down low. Doesn't require her to do anything at all and she can't really prevent him from doing it.

This. He really could just get a vasectomy and don't even tell her about it. It is only a small operation, and he could refuse sex (claiming he's tired) as long as it would take to heal.

But I think if Josh would put his foot down, Anna would agree on some type of bc, since she was raised believing that the husband has the power to make the decisions in the household. She might not like it, but I think she would go along with it thinking that Josh will have to bear the responsibility before God.

Josh might not do it just now, since the show is still running, but I can see him deciding that he doesn't want to have eleventy kids after all.

[rainbow_sprinkles330]

When/how did Michelle crack? I thought she was just always a nutcase...What happened? I must have missed it.

[Ursula]

Anna will never crack, at least not in the same way Michelle did/was forced to. She (Anna) will never have to. Josh and Anna seemed to do just fine with 2.5 kids, and it was around the time Marcus became mobile that Jana and Joy were shipped off to help. Two J'slaves was probably unnecessary which is why Jana stuck around while Joy went home, but I'm sure one or both will be sent back when M4 is born. Anna lucked out like crazy marrying into the family she did if she truly wants 10+ kids.

Look, the youngest fuck trophy of Boob and OfJimBoob is about to turn five. Josie is still a little girl but hardly needs the constant attention of her buddy. Jill and Jessa are starting their own families but it will be a few sprogs down the line before they'll require help. Even if Jana and Jinger are married and unavailable for free slave labour in a couple of years they will still have Joyless and by that point Johanna, Jennifer, Jordyn and Josie will ALL be old enough to ship off to their older sibling's homes to help with laundry, light cooking, clean up chores, etc. They won't have graduated home fooling themselves, but the Duggars have never been shown to give a shit about education, especially the education of a lowly female, before. As long as they can read and write and do enough math to file taxes, they're golden. Also by that time Mackenzie with the weird spelling will be plenty old enough to start being an official buddy herself. Don't forget that the oldest Duggar daughters started being buddies around 7/8 years old themselves. Johanna and Jennifer are 9 and 7 right now.

It's going to continue on in a cycle like this. In 10+ years when Johanna, Jennifer, etc. are getting married and having their own children the younger girls of Jana, Jill, etc. will be sent off to help them, then those younger girls will get help from the youngest of Johanna, Jennifer, etc. AD INFINITUM. It is only the first generation Quiverfucked parents who have a hard go at it. After that, enough poor souls have been brought into their world to take care of the poor souls who continue to be brought into their world.

[ADoyle90815]

I'm also in the camp that thinks that Josh will crack first, as he didn't look exactly happy in that video announcing her 4th pregnancy. He's also gone through the hell of having an extremely large family, while Anna was just one of 8. I also think Josh would get a vasectomy without telling his wife or anyone else about it, as he might claim he had a stomach bug to explain away any pain, then claim to be too tired for sex.

[txmommyof4]

I know this is a bit off topic, but when my husband had his vasectomy the doctor called me to make sure I was on board. I just assumed that was normal procedure?

[Sundaymorning]

I know this is a bit off topic, but when my husband had his vasectomy the doctor called me to make sure I was on board. I just assumed that was normal procedure?

Where I live, there is a thing called medical confidentiality.

So basically your doctor can't tell anyone anything about a vasectomy or any other operation or illness. Hospitals usually give the closest family members (spouse, children, parents) information if there was an emergency for example and the patient isn't able to talk himself, since they assume that the patient is ok with his doctors telling his close family what's happening with him. However, as soon as the patient tells medical staff that they can't tell anyone, not even his spouse, the doctors make themselves prosecutable if they do.

But I don't know how this is regulated in the US.

[GeoBQn]

I think Josh will resort to the only form of "birth control" that won't arouse suspicion in the ATI crowd--long, repeated, and well-timed business trips that take him away from the house.