Jesus is like a cell phone

[O Latin]

I have an uncle who is sort of fundie-lite-ish, I think (I'm not entirely sure). This morning he posted this on Facebook.

 

 

 

Quote

A friend wrote: Wonder what would happen if we treated our BIBLE like we treat our CELL PHONE? We CARRY it every where we go. We flipped through it throughout the day. We went home to get it if we FORGOT it. We RECEIVED messages from the text. We COULDN'T live WITHOUT it. We GAVE it to KIDS as gifts. We used it in case of emergency. One more thing, it would NEVER be disconnected, AND... JESUS has already paid the bill!

 

He posts stuff like this a lot, and it doesn't usually bother me, but this one did, for two reasons I think.

 

First of all, it reminds me of those "repost if you support cancer patients/earthquake victims/the troops/whoever" things, which just annoy me in general. I don't know why.

 

Second of all, I know I'm probably taking this to literally, but a cell phone is a practical thing to carry with you everywhere you go. The Bible is not. People don't carry cell phones everywhere because they're slaves to the technology gods (well, there might be some). They carry them because it's useful to be able to arrange to meet up with your friends after class or call someone to come get you if your car won't start or check an important email when you're not near a computer. The Bible cannot help me do any of those things. If I carried it around all day it would just be extra weight in my purse or backpack. I get that the point of the cell phone analogy is that Jesus should be your lifeline or whatever, but it still annoys me. Yes, Jesus is important (if you're a Christian), but there are also other important things besides Jesus.

[Trynn]

It annoys me too, especially nowadays when a lot of people have (or have the ability to have) the bible ON their cel phone.

[Buzzard]

It annoys me too, especially nowadays when a lot of people have (or have the ability to have) the bible ON their cel phone.

You beat me to it! But really, the two are not the same. Personally, the only "repost" I did was about knowing someone who has been eaten by dragons.

[Kitten]

a lot of people have (or have the ability to have) the bible ON their cel phone.

O Latin, maybe you should respond to him with something like "Oh, you mean you DON'T have the Bible on your cell phone??!! I thought EVERY GOOD CHRISTIAN made that their first priority!!"

But I'm just mean that way... :D

[bananacat]

Fundies are already hateful enough without constantly reading the Bible. If they took it with them everywhere, they might be motivated to hunt down some Midianites or stones some adulterers. That's such a violent book that the fewer messages they receive from it, the better.

[Jessica]

How about instead of putting it in such a way that sounds like bragging, he just buys himself a nice pocket Bible and moves on? http://www.christianbook.com/kjv-pocket ... ew=details

[doggie]

I could just picture someone thumping someone on the chest with a bible after he has a heart attack. I guess that is using the bible in an emergency? I guess you could throw the bible at a potential rapist too.

[slh12280]

I get the point of the status, but it does come out weird if you actually thought about doing that. Maybe if you looked at it symbolically, as in having the words of the Bible in your heart?

[Daenerys]

I've got a better one...

God is like a cell phone... you have to 'recharge' him every week (Church), and every so often, the model (Holy Book) gets outdated and needs to be replaced, but the core idea and usage remains the same (Religion)

[Trynn]

I've got a better one...

God is like a cell phone... you have to 'recharge' him every week (Church), and every so often, the model (Holy Book) gets outdated and needs to be replaced, but the core idea and usage remains the same (Religion)

Only once a week? What kind of superbattery do you have?! Or maybe I need a new one...and everyone knows that "real" christians go to prayer meeting, and get recharged more than twice a week.

God is also like a cel phone in that he knows where you are, as the phone contains a gps. That's another way God is like a cel phone.

[Buzzard]

But if I worship my cell phone isnt that some form of idolatry?

A big difference... if I ask my iphone to do something it actually does it...

[SamuraiKatz]

Well maybe there's an ap for that at the Iphone store? :lol:

[thoughtful]

This thread is making this song run through my head (which is OK, because I like it!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTmHvpzO ... age#t=370s

or, if you prefer a quieter version:

[Bookworm]

Personally, the only "repost" I did was about knowing someone who has been eaten by dragons.

Haha, I did that one too! I hate reposting stuff but that one was great. It's funny to see this thread because two of my friends JUST posted that quote on their statuses.

[Prek teach]

i just hope that jesus has better reception than my phone.