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My husband trained me to be just like a dog!


Koala

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** nightgown, baseball cap, hoodie, blanket over head and body, gloves, tennis racket and pillowcase.

Can we have a smiley of this? Please? It's a beautiful image.

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Ha ha ha!! Yes one must have a ridiculous get up in order to catch flying bats. I was able finally to swat the bat out of the air and scoop it into the pillowcase. Of course I was screaming silently the entire time.

Chapter 2 of this story is at least as dramatic as chapter one. I did not want to kill the bat, but I also did not want to just let it go because I'd heard that they'll just come back if they have made a home in your attic or chimney or whatever. So the following morning, I took my bat-filled pillowcase on a ride 15 miles south to the field behind my friends house. 2 days later... Bat flying through living room. Me screaming. Hiding. Suiting up. Capturing. Driving 30 mile east to different town. Days later... Repeat and drive further afield... ...

paintergurl, i am so sorry you had to go through that but it's just so hilarious. :lol:

You are awesome, doing horrifying things like this and still managing to keep the kids asleep so they won't be scared. :clap:

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IFLScience had a photo on FB today of a spider eating a snake. Yes - regular spider, body about 2.5 inches long and legs jeez i guess about 10 in. long. I won't post the photo because it's just too tempting to click spoilers but here's the link to the IFLS fb post:

facebook.com/IFeakingLoveScience/photos/a.456449604376056.98921.367116489976035/978629332158078/?type=1

regular site:

iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/spider-versus-snake

eta: the youtube suggestions after the video had one about Monster Quest on the History Channel - what the ever living hell. So many things to freak out about :lol: i hope my kids don't decide to like bugs etc. etc. etc. Much rather stick to extinct stuff like dinos.

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Ha ha ha!! Yes one must have a ridiculous get up in order to catch flying bats. I was able finally to swat the bat out of the air and scoop it into the pillowcase. Of course I was screaming silently the entire time.

Chapter 2 of this story is at least as dramatic as chapter one. I did not want to kill the bat, but I also did not want to just let it go because I'd heard that they'll just come back if they have made a home in your attic or chimney or whatever. So the following morning, I took my bat-filled pillowcase on a ride 15 miles south to the field behind my friends house. 2 days later... Bat flying through living room. Me screaming. Hiding. Suiting up. Capturing. Driving 30 mile east to different town. Days later... Repeat and drive further afield... ...

Be really careful chasing and trying to catch bats though. Bats are a very common carrier of rabies... A couple in Georgia had to get post-exposure shots last year after their indoor only cat contracted rabies from a bat in the house. If they're in your house, it might be more wise to have an exterminator out.

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When I lived in Georgia, I encountered flying cockroaches.

*twitches uncontrollably and whimpers*

I can clean up vomit, feces, moldy food, clean out wounds, etc... but bugs are my downfall. :embarrassed:

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IFLScience had a photo on FB today of a spider eating a snake. Yes - regular spider, body about 2.5 inches long and legs jeez i guess about 10 in. long. I won't post the photo because it's just too tempting to click spoilers but here's the link to the IFLS fb post:

facebook.com/IFeakingLoveScience/photos/a.456449604376056.98921.367116489976035/978629332158078/?type=1

regular site:

iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/spider-versus-snake

eta: the youtube suggestions after the video had one about Monster Quest on the History Channel - what the ever living hell. So many things to freak out about :lol: i hope my kids don't decide to like bugs etc. etc. etc. Much rather stick to extinct stuff like dinos.

Woahhhhhh that is so cool! Nature is awesome!

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May I ask what part of the country you live in where crickets and grasshoppers enter your home!?! Never heard of such a thing. Earwigs are a bit gross too. Daughter #2 thought they were baby lobsters. I don't like being surprised by snakes. Not too botherd by them, but a friend had a snake lay eggs in her basement it was pretty terrible.

:o :cry: :ew:

I would move. Not even kidding. I would move and then burn the fucking house down.

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My mom taught third and fourth grade many years ago and had a snake in her classroom named Jake. Jake the Snake got out over spring break of 1996 and was never seen again. So somewhere in that elementary school is Jake or the remains of Jake.

/that's all I have to add to this discussion

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I think I can summarize every single post from TJFW.

1. Here is the nasty thing that someone did to me. (Usually the husband, but yesterday it was her family and today it's another girl.)

2. Here is how I never fought back, never defended myself, took everything to heart, sacrificed myself, etc.

3. Here is how I decided that every sacrifice was all about me being perfect for God. However, I'll add a disclaimer at this point claiming that I'm not saying that I'm perfect at all, even though that's exactly what I'm trying to say.

4. Here is where I come to the conclusion that whatever sacrifices I made and whatever shitty stuff I experienced were all part of God's will, that women should be treated like doormats and learn to love it. If you disagree with me, you disagree with God's will and clearly aren't willing to be a Godly martyr like me.

5. Here is how I turn a man's shitty treatment of me into some sort of virtue. Husband being bossy and unkind? Describe him as a manly leader! Father allowing kids to leave in a pigsty and fighting with the mother? Make him into your hero!

6. Next, finish off the mental gymnastics by putting down everyone else. See a couple that doesn't fight? Describe them as dogs. See a man that doesn't boss his wife around? Imply that he's not a real manly man and leader. Other men don't open a car door for you? Tell yourself that they aren't thoughful like your (porn-addicted with an anger management problem) husband. See that your own mother didn't cope well with domestic chores? Convince yourself that she was lazy, ungodly and unloving, and pat yourself on the back for being a far better "wife" to your father, because that's not remotely icky at all.

Presto! Shitty life is now transformed into martyrdom, with a side order of passive-aggressive digs and disrespect for anyone in a normal relationship.

I feel bad for her in some ways, because this is all clearly a coping mechanism, but someone needs to call her out.

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I do think it's kind of funny every time someone (fundie or not) makes this comparison, because I totally train people I interact with using principles I learned from training dogs.

[Mom calls me at work (undesired behavior) -> ignore call (no reward); Mom emails me at work -> respond by calling at next break (positive reinforcement!)] Heck, there's a whole CHAPTER about this in "Don't Shoot The Dog" by Karen Pryor. :P

That said, the kind of learned helplessness that she describes is icky and goes along with BAD dog training.

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I just saw her latest reply.

I'm torn between feeling really sorry for her, because it sounds like she's been treated like crap by many people for a long time, and feeling frustrated that she seems to be continuing the cycle instead of breaking it.

It's almost too sad and pathetic for snark. I think she needs some real counseling, not just internet advice. She's hinting at some heavy-duty neglect, a possibly narcissistic mother, and a father who was a passive enabler. The "mommy was sinful, I was a better wife" dynamic doesn't sound remotely healthy. It really sounds like emotional incest (to be clear, I'm NOT suggesting actual sexual abuse, I'm saying that she's describing how her role changed from being a child to being her father's "wife" except for the bedroom).

In order to cope, she had to figure out a way to see this as a good thing. She demonized her mother, but needs to see her father as the good guy so she can't let herself see that her father should have acted like a parent and treated her like a child. Now, she's training her kids to copy a dysfunctional family pattern. They are expected to cater to daddy (again, the guy with the anger management issue and the one with the porn problem who nearly landed them on the streets), and get to see mommy as the victim. At some point, her kids are going to feel pressure to take on adult roles to "protect" mommy, who can't take care of herself.

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I just saw her latest reply.

I'm torn between feeling really sorry for her, because it sounds like she's been treated like crap by many people for a long time, and feeling frustrated that she seems to be continuing the cycle instead of breaking it.

It's almost too sad and pathetic for snark. I think she needs some real counseling, not just internet advice. She's hinting at some heavy-duty neglect, a possibly narcissistic mother, and a father who was a passive enabler. The "mommy was sinful, I was a better wife" dynamic doesn't sound remotely healthy. It really sounds like emotional incest (to be clear, I'm NOT suggesting actual sexual abuse, I'm saying that she's describing how her role changed from being a child to being her father's "wife" except for the bedroom).

In order to cope, she had to figure out a way to see this as a good thing. She demonized her mother, but needs to see her father as the good guy so she can't let herself see that her father should have acted like a parent and treated her like a child. Now, she's training her kids to copy a dysfunctional family pattern. They are expected to cater to daddy (again, the guy with the anger management issue and the one with the porn problem who nearly landed them on the streets), and get to see mommy as the victim. At some point, her kids are going to feel pressure to take on adult roles to "protect" mommy, who can't take care of herself.

She needs to ditch Lorken and come hang out at FJ -- get some real life advice, vent in a healthy way, and maybe get the courage up to leave him, if he's truly abusive/neglectful. I understand it's really difficult though. Having kids with a person who turns bad is just so tricky to navigate. Sometimes keeping enemies close is smart. I just wish she'd stop trying to believe the submission = strategy advice, that's going to give her a nervous breakdown eventually.

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Be really careful chasing and trying to catch bats though. Bats are a very common carrier of rabies... A couple in Georgia had to get post-exposure shots last year after their indoor only cat contracted rabies from a bat in the house. If they're in your house, it might be more wise to have an exterminator out.

Yes! Bat rabies is the most common domestically acquired rabies in this country- and often people don't even realize they've been bitten. In NY state if you wake up in a room with a bat you qualify for post-exposure prophylaxis shots. If you can catch the bat, you can have your local health department examine it for rabies to avoid the shots. But do be careful. Rabies is still uniformly fatal.

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She needs to ditch Lorken and come hang out at FJ -- get some real life advice, vent in a healthy way, and maybe get the courage up to leave him, if he's truly abusive/neglectful. I understand it's really difficult though. Having kids with a person who turns bad is just so tricky to navigate. Sometimes keeping enemies close is smart. I just wish she'd stop trying to believe the submission = strategy advice, that's going to give her a nervous breakdown eventually.

She reminds me of my MIL, and the part with the mother also reminds me of my mom and grandmother.

FJ isn't enough. She's going to need some real support and qualified counseling, because it's so hard to break these patterns. It's taken years (decades) for my MIL to make baby steps in her progress, as she really needed to turn her thinking on some issue upside down, and realize that when she was being passive and obedient, she wasn't being "good" at all. [FTR, I adore my MIL, and she adores me. She's also willing to talk and listen to advice. It's just so hard for her to overcome extreme guilt, learned helplessness and fear of confrontation.]

Both she and Lori are similar in some ways. They feel trapped, the idea of leaving seems impossible, and they need to figure out how to best functioning within their current situation.

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May I ask what part of the country you live in where crickets and grasshoppers enter your home!?! Never heard of such a thing. Earwigs are a bit gross too. Daughter #2 thought they were baby lobsters. I don't like being surprised by snakes. Not too botherd by them, but a friend had a snake lay eggs in her basement it was pretty terrible.[/quote]

Well, the bolded certainly made me laugh.

I live in the midwest, not far from the Arndts, in fact. Anytime you're in a farm-y area, you're likely to get crickets and such. I've never heard of anyone having a home that was entirely bug-free, but maybe only because I live in such a naturally bug-gy area.

(Although I remember having random bugs in the house just about everywhere we've lived -- the Mojave desert, Mississippi, Nebraska, Texas, Indiana,. etc.)

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When I lived in Georgia, I encountered flying cockroaches.

*twitches uncontrollably and whimpers*

I can clean up vomit, feces, moldy food, clean out wounds, etc... but bugs are my downfall. :embarrassed:

Bugs in general don't really bother me. Bugs that jump at me certainly do. Vomit, though, that's a whole other kettle of fish. Thankfully, my husband has always been pretty decent about taking on puke-duty. *shudder*

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Be really careful chasing and trying to catch bats though. Bats are a very common carrier of rabies... A couple in Georgia had to get post-exposure shots last year after their indoor only cat contracted rabies from a bat in the house. If they're in your house, it might be more wise to have an exterminator out.

Well now that the subject of cats with bats has come up, I can tell the third and final chapter of 'The Summer of Bats'. One day towards the end of that summer, my mom, who lives in the upper half of my rental, called me on the phone, screaming at me to come upstairs to get the bat! She told me that Sophie, her Siamese kitty, had caught a bat in the living room and she had thrown a towel over it. I thought it was very odd, because it was daytime, and all of the bat escapades thus far had taken place in the middle of the night. But I said nothing about this. I just asked if it was dead. She said it was just stunned. Pay special attention to that phrase, 'Its just stunned'. So I went up, scooped it up, towel and all, into the waiting pillowcase and put it out on the porch, until after work when I would drive it away.

Having driven to outlying towns to the north, south and west, this time I chose a location 40 miles to the east, crossing my fingers that this would finally be the right place. So you would think by now that I would be less freaked out by the proximity and handling of bats. You would be wrong. And the procedure for setting them free was just as delicate as the procedure for capturing them. I pull the car over to the side of the road, open the door just enough to squeeze the pillowcase through, squeeze my eyes shut tight, quickly shake it out and slam the door shut superfast. And then I look to make sure nothing is there. Except this time something is there - a lumpy gray/brown form. Well shit, I thought. She said it wasn't dead. Just stunned. I look closer through the window and see that the lumpy form is....a piece of dried up fungus. A mushroom. I had just driven 40 miles. Each way! To set free a mushroom. A Stunned Mushroom.

I presented the mushroom to my mother when I got home. She could explain how Sophie could have brought in the fungus from outside. What she couldn't explain, what she could never explain, was how she thought the fungus was ever alive and only stunned into unconsciousness. It makes for a very memorable and funny story though and to this day, when my children and I see something with a mushroom decoration, we say, 'Look Nini! Its a bat!!!'

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Bugs in general don't really bother me. Bugs that jump at me certainly do. Vomit, though, that's a whole other kettle of fish. Thankfully, my husband has always been pretty decent about taking on puke-duty. *shudder*

A fellow emetophobe? I can do bugs, needles, bleed, wounds, mold, but vomit is a thing I can't do. I panic when people say they feel sick, let alone if they actually throw up. I can do baby spit-up fine, but not actual vomit. I do not know what I will do if I have children. If I marry my current bf, I think he will end up the one on barf-duty.

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My mom taught third and fourth grade many years ago and had a snake in her classroom named Jake. Jake the Snake got out over spring break of 1996 and was never seen again. So somewhere in that elementary school is Jake or the remains of Jake.

/that's all I have to add to this discussion

My brother had a snake named Sllllithor and the exact same thing happened! Just disappeared one day, never to be found.

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My brother had a snake named Sllllithor and the exact same thing happened! Just disappeared one day, never to be found.

Depends on the snake........but I like to think that these escaped snakes are something big like a reticulated python, and will turn up in a few years in the most inconvenient place, now 17 feet long.

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Depends on the snake........but I like to think that these escaped snakes are something big like a reticulated python, and will turn up in a few years in the most inconvenient place, now 17 feet long.

Except that's actually a legit problem down here in the Everglades - huge Burmese pythons with no natural enemies. Biologists think some are escaped/dumped pets and some are decendants of snakes that escaped from destroyed pet stores during Hurricane Andrew. They've been known to eat deer!

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My brother had a snake named Sllllithor and the exact same thing happened! Just disappeared one day, never to be found.

My brother had a pet tarantula named Ick that escaped his cage and disappeared. He turned up two months later in our dining room despite a cat and the house being bombed for pests. We have no idea where he hid all that time. :shock:

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A fellow emetophobe? I can do bugs, needles, bleed, wounds, mold, but vomit is a thing I can't do. I panic when people say they feel sick, let alone if they actually throw up. I can do baby spit-up fine, but not actual vomit. I do not know what I will do if I have children. If I marry my current bf, I think he will end up the one on barf-duty.

*sits next to dairyfreelife*

If I see it, smell it, or hear it touch the floor - I'm done.

I've actually laid on the bathroom floor begging God to not make me throw up.

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*sits next to dairyfreelife*

If I see it, smell it, or hear it touch the floor - I'm done.

I've actually laid on the bathroom floor begging God to not make me throw up.

I'll just join you here in the no puking section.

The first time my husband got sick to his stomach after we married, I had to leave the apartment and go outside.

Over the 35 years since then, I can now generally manage to get him a cold washcloth and a glass of whatever (water, gatorade, sprite) and leave it for him... and since the house is bigger, I don't have to go outdoors, but suffice it to say I don't stay around.

Happily for everyone, he rarely gets a stomach bug.

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The first time my husband got sick to his stomach after we married, I had to leave the apartment and go outside.

Over the 35 years since then, I can now generally manage to get him a cold washcloth and a glass of whatever (water, gatorade, sprite) and leave it for him... and since the house is bigger, I don't have to go outdoors, but suffice it to say I don't stay around.

Happily for everyone, he rarely gets a stomach bug.

In three years of marriage, my H has never thrown up. Thank The Lord baby Jesus.

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