My husband trained me to be just like a dog!

[polecat]

No worries, nobody in my house except me has seen it ;). But there may be some FJites on here quite as sensitive to spiders as my family member and they could be really intimidated by it. I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of "subtenant", anyways.

It's not a spider. It's a cricket. :)

Although it's still a hideously horrible cricket.

[Coco]

Back when I was teaching at the Christian school, I went on a set-up coffee date with a BJU grad who insisted on picking me up. When we arrived at our destination, I got out of the car like a normal adult. Once we were seated, he lectured me on how I screwed up by not waiting for him to open my car door. At the end of the even more awful afternoon, he informed me on dropping me off at home that I was too independent for any man to ever consider marrying.

Somehow, my husband has managed to overlook that problem. He actually likes the contrast to his mother. His parents are not at all fundie (very moderate Catholics). While she does open her own car doors, she doesn't do anything else. She does not know how to pump gas. Will not drive out of town because it is too difficult. She has never spent a moment in her life doing any yard work or any other labor around the house outside of simple cleaning (no vacuuming as the vacuum is "too heavy", no doing floors, won't help move anything, etc...) and cooking. This was a problem for us early on as I am accustomed to helping with those tasks as I did growing up and husband thought I should not or would not know how. My husband actually talks about how his dad has pampered her by doing too much for her and made her helpless, and he worries about how she will function if his dad dies first or were to become incapable of doing these things (the way my dad has).

My mom is like the polar opposite. She was a farm girl. She can do all the heavy lifting, fix stuff, and will still get out of the car and pump the gas even though she is no longer able to drive due to her vision.

:clap: :clap: :clap: Amen. Farm women would laugh joyfilledwife to shame for sitting in the car, not paying attention to the others in her group.

Any woman who can close an electric fence's post and wire stretch gate has my undying admiration. Those gates, jeez. It's like dragging a huge round post across the dirt field road, stretching it into the bottom wire loop, and holding it closed to hook the top wire loop over. Seems like the most difficult thing to do on a farm except throw hay. Which i can't do, lol. i've tried to close those gates, and it's just too difficult. And farm women do these things and more every day. Can't find a photo because no one takes photos of farm gates from hell apparently but this is close:

totally OT but my dad grew up on a farm in the midwest and one of his favorite stories is how his brother crawled under the electric fence once with pliers in his jeans butt pocket. :cracking-up:

[docmom]

I joke with my husband that the only reason I keep him around is to deal with the mice. I can't stand them. Bugs don't bother me but mice- urgh. On the other hand, if I were forced to deal with mice on my own, I would (by calling an exterminator).

[louisa05]

:clap: :clap: :clap: Amen. Farm women would laugh joyfilledwife to shame for sitting in the car, not paying attention to the others in her group.

Any woman who can close an electric fence's post and wire stretch gate has my undying admiration. Those gates, jeez. It's like dragging a huge round post across the dirt field road, stretching it into the bottom wire loop, and holding it closed to hook the top wire loop over. Seems like the most difficult thing to do on a farm except throw hay. Which i can't do, lol. i've tried to close those gates, and it's just too difficult. And farm women do these things and more every day. Can't find a photo because no one takes photos of farm gates from hell apparently but this is close:

[attachment=0]Capture.JPG[/attachment]

totally OT but my dad grew up on a farm in the midwest and one of his favorite stories is how his brother crawled under the electric fence once with pliers in his jeans butt pocket. :cracking-up:

My grandparents had three kids--a boy, then a girl eight years later and a second girl (my mom) 14 mths after that. By the time my mom was ten or so, her brother had left home and she and her sister were helping with all the farm work. She moved irrigation pipe as a young teen and learned to drive tractors before cars. She is 5'2" if she stretches and doesn't weigh a 100 lbs, but she is ridiculously strong still at 70 years old. And my grandmother was a strong hardworking woman. A typical midwestern farm wife. She was a devout Christian, in a mainline denomination, who taught Sunday school for over 50 years of her life, chaired women's groups (including being statewide pres of a large interdenominational one) and did anything else her church needed. She would shake her head in disgust at these fundie women who claim that being helpless hothouse flowers makes you a good Christian woman.

[socalrules]

Polecat, I would lose my mind if those were running around my house. I itch just looking at it.

I don't have a problem with someone opening my car door or pulling out my chair. I find it nice if it is something they want to do. I just don't wait expecting them to do it.

[Maggie Mae]

Who has time to wait for someone to walk around the car and open the door for you? What do you do while waiting? What strange behavior.

[dairyfreelife]

:animals-dogrun: Sit, good girl. Good sit. Here's a treat. Because being treated that way is totally not degrading whatsoever. :roll:

Seriously, my dogs are not this helpless.

[Coco]

Who has time to wait for someone to walk around the car and open the door for you? What do you do while waiting? What strange behavior.

Well, dahling, you dab your nose with powder, or check your manicure, or fluff your curls... the most chahming men usually jog a bit around the cahr.

[salex]

Oh-- I kill spiders for my husband.... I wonder what Lori would think of that.

[ViolaSebastian]

Polecat, we had those exact same giant grasshoppers in our kitchen. (My headship refers to them as 'Those big Jurassic Park looking motherf'ers). I finally had an exterminator buddy of mine come out and it turns out our crawlspace was like a grasshopper den of inequity. He did a grasshopper treatment in our crawlspace and it got rid of them. If you're really bothered by them, I'd ask around about spraying them.

[RandomTrivia]

:clap: :clap: :clap: Amen. Farm women would laugh joyfilledwife to shame for sitting in the car, not paying attention to the others in her group.

Any woman who can close an electric fence's post and wire stretch gate has my undying admiration. Those gates, jeez. It's like dragging a huge round post across the dirt field road, stretching it into the bottom wire loop, and holding it closed to hook the top wire loop over. Seems like the most difficult thing to do on a farm except throw hay. Which i can't do, lol. i've tried to close those gates, and it's just too difficult. And farm women do these things and more every day. Can't find a photo because no one takes photos of farm gates from hell apparently but this is close:

[attachment=0]Capture.JPG[/attachment]

totally OT but my dad grew up on a farm in the midwest and one of his favorite stories is how his brother crawled under the electric fence once with pliers in his jeans butt pocket. :cracking-up:

Dad has some of those wire gates on the farm. Some of them I could manage, some not (not electrified, thank FSM). They are wicked buggers if you don't have the arms to wrangle them (especially if they were built by a stronger person who wasn't thinking about the kids having to fight them).

Way back when I was in college, I lived in an all-female dorm for a few years, and I was one of the designated bug squashers somehow. I was also one of the suckers who ended up catching a bat that got onto our floor one night - dorm was built in the 40s, so roaming bats weren't unheard of. Another gal and I caught it with a laundry basket and a blanket, then handed it off to the RA of the dorm next door, who was in one of the bio programs or something animal-related.

I don't mind spiders, I can deal with crickets unless they're noisy, and I'm very good at baiting and setting snap traps for mice, but I prefer my mice dead. I reached into a feed bin one day in high school, to get some chicken feed, and a mouse ran up my arm and leaped off my back. Pretty sure I screamed. Also not a big fan of black snakes in the chicken house, but that was more because I never knew where they were, and they liked to hang out in the eaves, so I was worried they would drop down onto me. Not that one ever did, so who knows where that came from.

Our house now, though, is mostly bug-free except for house centipedes. Google them, I won't put a picture here, but I hate those things. They're big and leggy, and I swear they run right at me on purpose. Evil little buggers.

[PrairieGirl]

Polecat, we had those exact same giant grasshoppers in our kitchen. (My headship refers to them as 'Those big Jurassic Park looking motherf'ers). I finally had an exterminator buddy of mine come out and it turns out our crawlspace was like a grasshopper den of inequity. He did a grasshopper treatment in our crawlspace and it got rid of them. If you're really bothered by them, I'd ask around about spraying them.

I don't know why, but "grasshopper den of inequity" has me cackling.

[PrairieGirl]

Dad has some of those wire gates on the farm. Some of them I could manage, some not (not electrified, thank FSM). They are wicked buggers if you don't have the arms to wrangle them (especially if they were built by a stronger person who wasn't thinking about the kids having to fight them).

Way back when I was in college, I lived in an all-female dorm for a few years, and I was one of the designated bug squashers somehow. I was also one of the suckers who ended up catching a bat that got onto our floor one night - dorm was built in the 40s, so roaming bats weren't unheard of. Another gal and I caught it with a laundry basket and a blanket, then handed it off to the RA of the dorm next door, who was in one of the bio programs or something animal-related.

I don't mind spiders, I can deal with crickets unless they're noisy, and I'm very good at baiting and setting snap traps for mice, but I prefer my mice dead. I reached into a feed bin one day in high school, to get some chicken feed, and a mouse ran up my arm and leaped off my back. Pretty sure I screamed. Also not a big fan of black snakes in the chicken house, but that was more because I never knew where they were, and they liked to hang out in the eaves, so I was worried they would drop down onto me. Not that one ever did, so who knows where that came from.

Our house now, though, is mostly bug-free except for house centipedes. Google them, I won't put a picture here, but I hate those things. They're big and leggy, and I swear they run right at me on purpose. Evil little buggers.

Centipedes are pure evil. I once shared an apartment with a particularly friendly centipede family and one of them crawled across my FACE when I was napping on the couch one afternoon. :angry-screaming: I have never been the same since.

[polecat]

Polecat, we had those exact same giant grasshoppers in our kitchen. (My headship refers to them as 'Those big Jurassic Park looking motherf'ers). I finally had an exterminator buddy of mine come out and it turns out our crawlspace was like a grasshopper den of inequity. He did a grasshopper treatment in our crawlspace and it got rid of them. If you're really bothered by them, I'd ask around about spraying them.

I wouldn't want to muddy the good name of grasshoppers by accusing them of being hideous camel crickets. ;) No poison because cats, guinea pigs and a highly allergic kid. Now that we have young cats, they pretty much keep them under control. They don't eat them, but they de-leg them and traumatize them to death, so I only have to pick up the corpses these days.

[Rachel333]

We used to have those crickets in our basement, too. They're harmless, but they are pretty hideous (by the way, I thought you made it clear there was something awful under the spoiler, polecat). Our cat used to chase them and leave their legs for us to find.

I'll admit I can find it kind of annoying at times when people are helpless when it comes to harmless bugs and similar animals because I think it's a behavior that is sort of encouraged among women in our society (and according to some Christians, God made women afraid of snakes and other such creatures after the fall). I don't like that women are expected to be reliant on men in that area. At the same time, I know some people have legitimate phobias that go beyond just being squeamish. I just wish it wasn't such a gendered issue, where women are expected to have that fear while men are mocked if they have the same fear.

[Grimalkin]

May I ask what part of the country you live in where crickets and grasshoppers enter your home!?! Never heard of such a thing. Earwigs are a bit gross too. Daughter #2 thought they were baby lobsters. I don't like being surprised by snakes. Not too botherd by them, but a friend had a snake lay eggs in her basement it was pretty terrible.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

My husband's keyless entry on his truck hasn't been unlocking the passenger side so he will unlock and open the door for me most of the time, especially if it's cold/rainy. And in the past with older vehicles he's done the same. I imagine he does the same for any passenger because to him it's just good manners, not some gallant act of chivalry. I appreciate the gesture, even though I don't expect it. But I've never in my life sat in a car and waited for someone to let me out. Yikes.

I'd take a house with mice, snakes, crickets, and wood roaches over an ant infestation! The little fuckers make themselves at home every spring and fall, and it makes me want to burn down the house! They're in the bathrooms more than even the ktchen, which makes zero sense to me.

[paintergurl]

Ok I think I can jump in here on this off topic cringe fest. One time years ago I went into my darkened bedroom to check on my two toddlers sleeping in my bed. Heard a strange whirring sound and something brushed against my cheek. A freaking BAT!!! I dropped to the ground and, in what I can only describe as 'scuttling', scuttled full speed on all fours out into the living room towards my boyfriend. The look of horror on my face, combined with the extremely odd way I was moving, startled him so badly that he got up and ran away from me. Lol. He screeched at me "what the hell is the matter with you?!" Me - pointing and whispering- "bat bat bat".

Well, he was just as horrified as I was and did NOT immediately rush in to capture the bat flying in circles over my babies' sleeping bodies. So I, in what has become my official* bat capturing uniform**, went back in and saved the day myself.

*because yes, this has happened in my house many more times over the years.

** nightgown, baseball cap, hoodie, blanket over head and body, gloves, tennis racket and pillowcase.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

** nightgown, baseball cap, hoodie, blanket over head and body, gloves, tennis racket and pillowcase.

I have picture somewhere of my husband dressed very similarly, also to expel a bat. :lol: He put on his coveralls, a hoodie, goggles, and had a pink floral blanket wrapped around himself while carrying a badminton racket. I was in tears. I opened a door and we shooed it out fairly easily, thankfully. Took a lot less time than it did for him to suit up!

We're you able to remove it okay?

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Okay, I promise I am not at all trying to defend that lady's entire comment. Her premise that she just forgot until everyone had left is ridiculous. I think she just wants to make herself sound righteous? better than? Something. But am I the only one who took the training part as just kind of a figure of speech? Like, her husband just does this so often it has become ingrained in her reaction to sit and wait? Maybe it was just me. I said something similar to that recently, that my husband had trained me to expect the coffee to be ready when I come downstairs because he always preps it for me when he leaves for work. I didn't mean he actually trained me, of course.

He does always open doors for me, and he has taught the boys to stand when ladies come to the table. He doesn't do it to be forceful, he is just genuinely a very sweet and thoughtful person. And when the boys were having some rough-with-the-girls issues, he thought opening doors, standing at the table, etc., would help them in their efforts to be gentlemanly ;-)

The pumping gas stuff made me lol. I hate pumping gas!!! It doesn't help that we live in a very cold place so pumping gas is miserable half of the year, especially when it's windy. I do it when I need to. But my husband is very happy to try and keep it taken care of as much as he can.

[paintergurl]

Ha ha ha!! Yes one must have a ridiculous get up in order to catch flying bats. I was able finally to swat the bat out of the air and scoop it into the pillowcase. Of course I was screaming silently the entire time.

Chapter 2 of this story is at least as dramatic as chapter one. I did not want to kill the bat, but I also did not want to just let it go because I'd heard that they'll just come back if they have made a home in your attic or chimney or whatever. So the following morning, I took my bat-filled pillowcase on a ride 15 miles south to the field behind my friends house. 2 days later... Bat flying through living room. Me screaming. Hiding. Suiting up. Capturing. Driving 30 mile east to different town. Days later... Repeat and drive further afield... ...

[paintergurl]

BTW SquirellySquirrel, I love your name and avatar. As much as I dislike bats, I absolutely adore squirrels and have twice fostered and raised litters of orphaned squirrels. So freaking CUTE!

[neuroticcat]

This lady's post makes me so sad. She is TRAPPED in her life and TRAINED that it is normal.

I didn't grow up fundie, but I did grow up with a helpless mother. It's interesting someone brought up pumping gas, because my mom to this day won't pump her own. She hates it to be below 1/2 tank, and my dad will go fill it up for her at that point. She won't drive on the highway. She won't travel alone. She relies on him for all decisions - or on her kids. Anyway, her choices, I guess. But the infuriating thing is that she (and my enabling dad, I suppose) taught me a lot of that learned helplessness.

And as an adult it is ridiculously hard to overcome it. I still have difficulty driving myself places, because it was never "safe" for me to do that as a young adult. I was never allowed to go on long trips by myself and instead my dad would drive me. I know it sounds whiney to be a grown ass adult whining about this sort of stuff, but it is hobbling when you've had "you are weak and helpless" shoved down your throat for eighteen years to then try and retrain yourself to think: I am capable and can take care of myself.

I hope this lady can find a way to get out and believe in herself and I hope more than anything that she stops passing this toxic stuff onto her kids.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

BTW SquirellySquirrel, I love your name and avatar. As much as I dislike bats, I absolutely adore squirrels and have twice fostered and raised litters of orphaned squirrels. So freaking CUTE!

Aw, thanks! I have a serious love for little critters. At our old house we had the squirrels so spoiled they'd literally follow my vehicle down the road if I was coming home, knowing I'd toss them peanuts. Or if we were home they'd be staring at us through the windows. One would eat out of our hands. I for real considered trapping them and bringing them with us when we moved 3 years ago. :lol:

My daughter and I rescued 2 tiny babies this spring, and my hat's off to you for fostering! I could not wait to pass them off to a professional rehabber after 2 nights of little sleep, and 2 days of my dogs going insane trying to get to them.

[Grimalkin]

Ok I think I can jump in here on this off topic cringe fest. One time years ago I went into my darkened bedroom to check on my two toddlers sleeping in my bed. Heard a strange whirring sound and something brushed against my cheek. A freaking BAT!!! I dropped to the ground and, in what I can only describe as 'scuttling', scuttled full speed on all fours out into the living room towards my boyfriend. The look of horror on my face, combined with the extremely odd way I was moving, startled him so badly that he got up and ran away from me. Lol. He screeched at me "what the hell is the matter with you?!" Me - pointing and whispering- "bat bat bat".

Well, he was just as horrified as I was and did NOT immediately rush in to capture the bat flying in circles over my babies' sleeping bodies. So I, in what has become my official* bat capturing uniform**, went back in and saved the day myself.

*because yes, this has happened in my house many more times over the years.

** nightgown, baseball cap, hoodie, blanket over head and body, gloves, tennis racket and pillowcase.

I laughed and laughed and laughed some more after reading the description of you scuttling accross the room and your husband running away. Still giggling.