My husband trained me to be just like a dog!

[Koala]

Today the joyfilledwife commented on Godly Mentor Lori's blog. She was explaining to everyone how her husband has trained her just like a dog...so charming :cray-cray: In fact, she is so well trained that she can hardly function in group settings without him there to see after her!

Recently, I was driving with a few friends (two women and a husband) and, when we got to our destination, it took me a minute to realize that everyone was out of the car and already walking except me. My husband refuses to allow me to open my own car door and he's trained me to sit and wait until he comes around and helps me out. The man that was with us seemed not to be inclined in that way and, being used to sitting and waiting for my door to be opened and to be let out, I just sat there for a while until it dawned on me that everyone was walking away and it was up to me to open my car door. I accidentally did the same thing getting back to the car. I just stood outside the vehicle until I realized my husband was not present and the other gentleman was not opening doors for any of the women in our group. I love that my husband, when he drives people around, always opens the door for each lady in the group.

[Firiel]

:character-yoshi:

Sorry, that was going to be a puking smiley but I got bored looking for the right one and couldn't resist Yoshi.

[Koala]

Other lessons in learned helplessness"

I am usually told I live in an alternate universe or that I am doing my children a disservice when I open up about my husband handling certain things or when he is not around, our 6 year old son handling things around the house.

See, that's what's wrong with patriarchy. 6 year old "men" end up running their mother's because MAN!

pssst....You are the mother. You should not be relying on your 6 year old like a helpless imbecile.

[jerkit]

My husband finds helplessness and ditziness a complete and total turn off. There's nothing he hates more than a woman who acts like she can't do anything without a man.

[Firiel]

I don't think Ken and Lori understand that there are a million steps between a person (woman, in their case) who is an abrasive know-it-all who refuses all help and a person (woman) who cannot do anything without the help or approval of a man.

I'm a completely capable human being. It doesn't mean I never need help or that I don't gladly accept the help that I need.

[Sundaymorning]

I personally think it's quite charming if a man (or a woman for that matter) does nice things like open the door for his/her partner (or even other people) or helping them out of the coat, but seriously, this women is just mental.

I wonder what happend that she is that brainwashed that she thinks it's ok for a human to be trained like an animal.

And a 6 year old handling things around the house?? Even PP and ZsuZsu (the most crazy fundies I know) would tell you that this is ridiculous and that children should obey their parents and not the other way round. Not that I agree with their philosophy of child raising at all, but I do agree that it's the parents who should have the final say about how things go, and not the children.

[PrairieGirl]

If I was driving with someone (that was not 2 years old and an able-bodied adult of sound mind) and realized that they were stuck in the car and incapable of getting out themselves, I would probably rush back in fear because my first thought would be that they had a sudden terrible medical condition strike them and they needed paramedics STAT!

[BrownieMomma]

What a b.

Passive-aggressive slam at her companions. She's not that idiotically brain dead. She's just trying to show how superior she and her husband are.

Newsflash - a real lady wouldn't have pointed it out, not even on a blog that can still be read by the companions.

[polecat]

I am sincerely hoping that she's really, really exaggerating about this because I can't see how anyone can be proud of the fact that they are incapable of opening their own car door (barring physical problems, obvi).

Now, I do think it's sweet when someone opens a door for someone else. My husband, my youngest son and my father-in-law have all opened my car door for me to get in (and in FIL's case, to also get out). But guess who opens her door all be her little lonesome in EVERY other situation? Yep, me. Because I'm totally capable of doing it and it's hardly some kind of ladylike olympics.

Real question: Can these women do ANYthing on their own? How do they even manage to raise their kids if they are so incredibly helpless?

[Koala]

I'd like to know where this, "my husband has trained me to..." bullshit is coming from. I have seen it a lot recently in the Super Secret Comment Section of the Godly Mentor's blog.

Where in the Bible does it say anything about husbands training their wives??? :evil-eye:

[docmom]

What sort of man is so incredibly insecure in his masculinity that he has to "train" his wife to be helpless?

Newsflash fundies: real men are not intimidated by women.

[sparkles]

I'm actually speechless here. WTF?

[Smartshoes]

What sort of man is so incredibly insecure in his masculinity that he has to "train" his wife to be helpless?

An abusive man.

[salex]

I'd like to know where this, "my husband has trained me to..." bullshit is coming from. I have seen it a lot recently in the Super Secret Comment Section of the Godly Mentor's blog.

Where in the Bible does it say anything about husbands training their wives??? :evil-eye:

The Book of Penthouse Forum, thought instead of like a dog, I think it is supposed to be like a pony.

:lol:

[salex]

OK, i am going to admit it. Sometimes my husband opens the car door for me to get in. (In our case, it is the SUV door)

But not always. And it is not big deal either way, he just does it sometimes.

Also, if it is raining, he will often come around with our oversized umbrella, open the door for me and carry the umbrella over our heads (mostly mine, since there is over a foot difference in our height)

And yet, he views me as an equal person. HE does not suppose when he is out of town I'm helpless in the face of rain or car doors. And I'm not trained...

ETA Oh, GoD, I read the comments.

The husband who, instead of fixing the toilet tells the oldest child how to jiggle the flapper or reattach the chain... losers all around.

I think this is the antithesis of the Botkin's latest "Fathers deserve a dowry because the daughter has skills that are worth so much" diatribe.

[NoneandDoneinCali]

I have to admit, I do not like my car door opened for me (or chairs pulled out for me). It's just ... I'm a grown woman and I can get in/out of a car/chair much more efficiently on my own. I don't blast men for doing it, but I will (nicely) say, "that's really thoughtful, but not necessary!" And then, if they keep doing it, I just kind of wonder if they think they're getting cool points or something (not that I lash out or anything - you've got to pick your battles). I don't particularly care for men taking the coat off their back and giving it to me either (though if they have a spare, that works!). YMMV.

However, if you want to help me carry a heavy package or hold a door (which everyone should do for everyone, really), please and thank you. And this is horrible. HORRIBLE. But I appreciate the man paying for dinner on the first date (assuming he invites me out, if I invite him I will pay). I know. I need to burn my feminist card.

This woman, however, sounds willfully incompetent. And how many children is she responsible for?!

[browngrl]

What kind of woman is attracted to a religion that makes it a good thing to be so helpless that a 6 year old can be the leader? I imagine that it must be some combination of fear, low self esteem, possibly a psychological disorder, possibly abuse - but either way I just can't understand it.

[Odd1Out]

Other lessons in learned helplessness"

See, that's what's wrong with patriarchy. 6 year old "men" end up running their mother's because MAN!

pssst....You are the mother. You should not be relying on your 6 year old like a helpless imbecile.

So, she drives her son somewhere and reaches back, unbuckles his car seat, then waits for him to get out and open her car door for her? ;)

[church_of_dog]

How [bleeping] ridiculous.

If someone wants to extend a courtesy like opening a door for someone else, that's fine. And even if they're doing it because it fits their societal image of gallant and they want to be that, that's fine too.

But after the first time or three, an actual kind-and-helpful person then pays attention to how their "gallantry" is received. If the recipient appreciates it, then sure, continue doing it -- but at that point you're doing it BECAUSE THEY APPRECIATE IT and to show that you know them and want to please them. And if they don't appreciate it, then don't do it anymore, or if they don't care one way or the other, then do it when you're in the mood and not when you're not.

But in no case are you doing it BECAUSE THEY AREN'T CAPABLE of doing it on their own! Why would anyone feel flattered if that's the message they think they are receiving?

I don't mind having a door opened for me if my arms are full or if the door is extra-heavy and I just threw my back out. But if someone is opening that door for me because they don't think I am a capable person, what a turnoff!

I can't even imagine how messed up these folks are... :shrug:

[Grimalkin]

So, she drives her son somewhere and reaches back, unbuckles his car seat, then waits for him to get out and open her car door for her? ;)

She might not even drive. My MIL never learned because my FIL is a controlling fuck shit.

[Grimalkin]

Today the joyfilledwife commented on Godly Mentor Lori's blog. She was explaining to everyone how her husband has trained her just like a dog...so charming :cray-cray: In fact, she is so well trained that she can hardly function in group settings without him there to see after her!

I think this is the most disturbing thing I ever read. My inlaws are not Fundie but my MIL looks confused whenever we eat out. She looks at her husband when the waiter asks what she wants. It's actually weird because she likes to talk tough but she can't do anything, but clean her house. She purses her lips when she is over because I don't iron our clothe. She also used to beat the ever loving shit out of my husband when he was a kid, and during school breaks she would pack him a lunch and he had to leave the house in the morning and not come home until 4:30.

[Coco]

Opening car doors and getting coats could become irritating pretty fast, depending on the attitude of the guy doing it. In the best case, it could be a sign of respect and honor out of true love as equals, but on the other hand I'd hate to sit twiddling my thumbs while some douche strutted around the car with a shit-eating grin, showing off that he's so awesome. I've seen that in person by the way, no thanks, and i promise this is not jealousy talking in that case.

When i was in a youth group, a friend of mine never put gas in the car she and her sisters shared. She depended on her dad to do that for her. I don't know very many guys who would want that kind of high-maintenance wife, except the super insecure control freak types. What guy would want to start parenting the day he gets married? :lol:

[Cartmann99]

When i was in a youth group, a friend of mine never put gas in the car she and her sisters shared. She depended on her dad to do that for her. I don't know very many guys who would want that kind of high-maintenance wife, except the super insecure control freak types. What guy would want to start parenting the day he gets married? :lol:

Years ago, I knew an older woman who relied on her husband to put gas in her car. The funny thing was that he didn't pump gas either. He would drive her car to the full-service station, have the attendant fill up the car, and then bring the car back to her.

Everything was fine until he had an accident which made him unable to drive for a while. One of her adult daughters took over the gas pumping duties until the woman's husband recovered. (Yes, the adult daughter fearlessly pumped her own gas. :D )

I would hate having to rely on my husband to keep gas in the car, but they were very happy with the arrangement. :shrug:

[Grimalkin]

I hate to admit this but we have a sudden mouse problem. I cannot bring myself to empty the traps live or not live. I totally rely on my husband to get rid of them. I want to so bad but I really can't. Yesterday a mouse somehow got in my washing machine, I literally screamed, slammed the door shut and ran away. Shudder.

[JaChelle Sugar]

Oh my goddess mice. Shudder. I found a dead mouse in my laundry once. And one night I was lying half asleep when I shit you not a mouse ran across my back. I flipped the hell out. Shortly after that two feline headships were installed as hohs and they take care of the mice.

Eta details.