Alyssa Webster Pregnant Another Bates Grandbaby - MERGED

[AngelGirl8811]

I don't see why she would have to be brainwashed since infancy to feel less important, and be under a patriarchal system and all of that to be happy right now. With what is going on in her life, right this minute. To her as an individual human being. She's young, she's healthy. She's with a man she seems happy with. She even has the added bonus of financial security. She may very well be happy to be having a baby right now. She could of been raised in a completely 180 degree opposite philosophy and be happy to be in this particular life, at this particular moment.

I was in a similar place at her age, except a couple years younger, and minus the financial security. I could not have been raised more differently. I was still thrilled and happy with my life, especially being a mom.

I don't quite get how it's somehow better to be partying in bikinis on the beach at 20. I get that it's that she's raised to believe she has no choice -- but we're all brainwashed by our culture to some extent. Whether it's the expectation that you should be having babies at 20, or if it's a hundred times more acceptable in your circle to be raging at spring break.

I think that for me, it's that they don't have a choice. If they want to get out of the house, they have to get married, and once they are married, there has to be babies. Perhaps they are perfectly happy with that, I am sure that some of them are but choice is good too. I think at this moment Alyssa is probably thrilled and she should be because it's what she wants and they can support this child and it's more than some people have. However, if she stops wanting them but doesn't believe that she can't stop having them; that makes me sad. There should be some line drawn and perhaps she will do NFP, I don't know. Collage isn't for everyone but if you have a dream and you can't pursue it because that's not what your religion says or you can't flirt with that cute guy or go to a bar even if you don't drink. I'm not saying it's something that you need to experience, although collage is great and you meet so many great people there, it's something that if you want to experience it, you should be able to. I know that Alyssa could have, even if it's not the best, but some fundie girls won't ever have that choice. I hate the lack of choice in this world! :angry-banghead:

[rene76]

I agree that she really feels like this is her only choice in life. I sincerely hope that as time goes by she realizes there are other options for family. I hope she has the freedom to act in the best interest of her own family whether they have 5 or 10 children.

[3 ring circus]

http://johnandalyssawebster.blogspot.co ... s-one.html

I feel for Erin. It has to be hard for her to see others getting pregnant after losing their baby.

[amster]

Alyssa posted a pic on Instagram today and hash-tagged it as 21 weeks. That puts her more than half way through her pregnancy, and she's still tiny! Compare her with Jill, who looks like she's got a watermelon shoved up her shirt.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

They're going to have good looking kids.

[jerkit]

When did Alyssa get married? Did she get knocked up that night? Fundie pregnancy math lol.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

When did Alyssa get married? Did she get knocked up that night? Fundie pregnancy math lol.

I think it would have been her second cycle after the wedding.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

And yeah she looks great! But I hate how tiny bump=great and big bump=not as great. We all carry differently! And all bumps look great to me :)

I wish i had got huge but had a premie. Next time I hope I get huuuuuge!

[lexiloumarie]

Alyssa got married at the end of May and would have conceived roughly the middle of July based on an "average" cycle. She's only two or so weeks behind Jill but married about a month longer.

[Oz1977]

I wonder if they found out the sex of the baby yet.

[HuggleMonster]

Definitely not a honey moon baby like Jill.

If I'm counting correctly, around 6 weeks after they got married she was pregnant. Works out about when people started saying she looked sick and tired in her Instagram pics.

Which makes me wonder when the segment about her wedding was filmed?

[nelliebelle1197]

These kind of discussions make me really uncomfortable. By proclaiming this girl must be miserable in her life or heading that way and without choice or agency because she does not live a life many of us would want, we are doing nothing differently than the fundies out there - trying to impose the life and lifestyle we think is best on someone else.

How do you guys know she does not have choices? She does; just not the what YOU consider valid choices. She believes in her god and her religion and seems quite happy with it. Why is it brainwashing? This is her religion and her value system. There is something wrong with religious fundamentalism in my opinion and I like making fun of the people who buy into it. But declaring someone who seems perfectly content with her lifestyle as brainwashed and bereft of choice because they don't view things like you do and they don't look at the world the same way is nothing but a secular fundamentalism.

I don't think religious fundamentalism is good for the world, women, children, men, politics, puppies, flowers or the Baby Jesus. I'd happily pay more taxes to send them to a little island somewhere so that Ted Cruz and John Webster could run their fundy Utopia without evil gayz and smelly feminists and critical thought to muck it all up before they destroy MY America. But the whole "fundy light" conversation along with the attendant issues to which the conversation inevitably leads really makes me roll my eyes.

Laugh at them, pity them, judge them harshly, fear them, shoot down their doctrines, but don't become them.

[Daenerys]

Yeah, I don't really think a woman getting married at 19 and choosing to have a baby pretty quickly is INHERENTLY an awful thing. Many of my non-religious friends have done exactly the same thing and it's been fine for them. Wanting to marry and have babies doesn't make you a terrible person.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I think that it's way too early to call if ANY of the Duggar or Bates kids will be Quiverfull. And, I know a lot of people who have children early and in quick succession after marriage. Most of my friends had children within a year or year and a half or marriage, with an average of 2 years between kids. Only a couple of them are any kind of religious, and they're more "by name only" type of religious (they don't go to church/temple except on major holidays; the Christian ones had their kids baptised, but the god parents may or may not even be christian; they had a traditional wedding, but only because they didn't want family drama for skipping out on that; etc).

I understand that babies are part of their brainwashing, but that doesn't mean that they're going to continue having babies. It's very possible that Josh and Anna are done having kids (they seem pretty content with what they have). It's also possible that Jill and Derick will limit their kids once they understand the ramification of having babies without buddies. I really don't see Jessa and Ben having anymore than a handful of kids (and I wouldn't be surprised if they stopped at 1 or 2). Whitney and Zach are hard to figure since Whitney married into a fundie family rather than coming from one. Erin and Chad may or may not limit their kids, though I like to think they'd be happy even if she never carried to term. I could very well see Alyssa sticking with a large by normal standards, but not fundie standards, family.

I also think it's too early to determine if any of them are going to stay fundie or if they'll go fundie-lite. I do see Josh and Anna going that way, and I'm sure Alyssa will as well. Jill might, or Derick might go fundie. Whitney might go fundie or Zach might go fundie-lite. And I'm on the fence as to which direction Jessa and Ben will go -- they are, without a doubt, very religious; but that doesn't necessarily mean they are going to stay that way or that they're going to pursue the fundamentalist lifestyle. It's possible to be very religious without being a fundie, as evidenced by many of my own family members. Plus, they're young, and still well within the "I know the answers to all things" stage of their lives. We'll see where they go in a few years when they've grown wiser.

[coffeebean7]

Alyssa got married at the end of May and would have conceived roughly the middle of July based on an "average" cycle. She's only two or so weeks behind Jill but married about a month longer.

Alyssa is about one week ahead of me in her pregnancy (she was 21 weeks on Thanksgiving, I was a day shy of 20 weeks). I am due April 24 based on my last period of July 18th, and am sure that I conceived from sex on July 29th/30th, and I think ovulated on July 31st (was actively trying to conceive/charting). So mid July for Alyssa is probably pretty accurate. The earliest Alyssa would have known she was pregnant was early August at about 4 weeks.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Alyssa is about one week ahead of me in her pregnancy (she was 21 weeks on Thanksgiving, I was a day shy of 20 weeks). I am due April 24 based on my last period of July 18th, and am sure that I conceived from sex on July 29th/30th, and I think ovulated on July 31st (was actively trying to conceive/charting). So mid July for Alyssa is probably pretty accurate. The earliest Alyssa would have known she was pregnant was early August at about 4 weeks.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Such a amazing time :)

[nokidsmom]

Agree that it's too early to call in what direction any of the married Duggars and Bates kids will go. Even Josh and Anna. Life is a journey and all of them aren't that far along on it. Just because all of them didn't ditch the fundie life the very minute they were married and out of their parents' homes doesn't mean they are doomed to make the same choices as their parents, be Quiverfull, etc. Not surprised at all that Alyssa and Jill are pregnant, not surprised that Whit had a baby last month, not surprised at any of them are having babies or trying to (as in Erin's case) right off the bat. Just as non fundie young people need time to decide who they really are, so it's going to be the same with fundie young people. The only difference is that they aren't allowed to experience any semblance of independence until they are married and often on way on their way to having a baby because that's what they have been raised to believe they must do.

I would say give it at least 10 years before calling it on whether any of them are still going to stay fundie or not. Maybe.

My prediction for waaay down the line: believe it or not, my money is still on Zach. Seriously. Yes, Whit went fundie and all, but she's still very young. Zach had two courtships and in both cases, actively chose young women who had something going for themselves. Not some SAHD and given Gil's position in ATI, there would have been plenty of SAHDs he could have chosen and married if he really wanted to. But he didn't and that says something about him.

[RosyDaisy]

Congrats, coffeebean7!

[Pretzel]

I don't believe all of them are going to stay quiverfull, either. Of course I hope for all of them that they only have as many children as they want and can handle. None of them should have to pray for a love of children. Each of them should know that limiting the number of children they have to whatever they desire is not something that can turn them away from God. God and the Baby Jesus do not love them any less for planning their family size. They might love them less for spreading hate and bigotry, but that's another story.

I really, really hope that Josh and Anna manage to break away from the Duggar cult and ATI and decide that they don't need to have 20 kids to be a godly couple. I'd also wish that Josh have a change of heart and decide hate-speech and hate-group and any work for them is wrong...but who am I kidding. Anna seems like she could handle one more, but I have a feeling they are quite content where they are at right now and that's great.

I hope Chad and Erin conceive if that is REALLY what they want.

I hope all of them realize that homeschooling, if not done really properly, is not a great choice for their kids and that charter schools and private christian schools are also a great option (esp. for Alyssa, who seems to at least not having to worry about monetary problems in the near future).

[nokidsmom]

I don't believe all of them are going to stay quiverfull, either. Of course I hope for all of them that they only have as many children as they want and can handle. None of them should have to pray for a love of children. Each of them should know that limiting the number of children they have to whatever they desire is not something that can turn them away from God. God and the Baby Jesus do not love them any less for planning their family size. They might love them less for spreading hate and bigotry, but that's another story.

I really, really hope that Josh and Anna manage to break away from the Duggar cult and ATI and decide that they don't need to have 20 kids to be a godly couple. I'd also wish that Josh have a change of heart and decide hate-speech and hate-group and any work for them is wrong...but who am I kidding. Anna seems like she could handle one more, but I have a feeling they are quite content where they are at right now and that's great.

I hope Chad and Erin conceive if that is REALLY what they want.

I hope all of them realize that homeschooling, if not done really properly, is not a great choice for their kids and that charter schools and private christian schools are also a great option (esp. for Alyssa, who seems to at least not having to worry about monetary problems in the near future).

I will give in to some predictions here:

Suspect that Josh and Anna will ditch the lifestyle after the show is over. Right now they have an interest in at least keeping up appearances because it brings in the $$$$. The $$$ is what helps them provide for the family but after that dries up, fiscal reality will hit. It hasn't yet. I have suspected Josh is over it, job at FRC notwithstanding, but there's the family show that's keeping him involved. Anna can rest assured that her own family isn't going to disown her if she decides not to embrace the lifestyle anymore.

Chad and Erin will have kids as it seems to be what they really want. Both of them seem pretty content with the lifestyle right now and really don't think either will break away even if they limit their family.

Whit will get over her fundie phase and Zach will go along.

Alyssa looks to be the sort that likes to have fun and the drudgery that can be the lot of the fundie wife is not going to be for her. I can see her limiting family and going fundie lite down the line.

[Miggy]

I understand that babies are part of their brainwashing, but that doesn't mean that they're going to continue having babies. It's very possible that Josh and Anna are done having kids (they seem pretty content with what they have).

Do you think? Josh might be but every time Anna opens her mouth she mentions the possibility of another one. I think she is very keen to be pregnant again.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Do you think? Josh might be but every time Anna opens her mouth she mentions the possibility of another one. I think she is very keen to be pregnant again.

Lots of young SAHMs today want 3 or 4 children and do fine. Four or five even. I can see Anna being like that, but SHES ON A SHOW that stresses endless child bearing. She poked fun at it, but you know the pressure is on them to emulate JB/M for the "...and Counting..." part of the show. Ditto the Makeover into Mini-Michelle. Maybe not that Jilly and Jessa are married they can take over that role and Anna can quit wearing solid color 80s maternity shirts and doing her hair like her mil. [i bet the mil thing is WHY Michelle changed her hair back--how many of us want to look like Mom or Mil??]

[LadyCrow1313]

http://johnandalyssawebster.blogspot.com/2014/11/plus-one.html

I feel for Erin. It has to be hard for her to see others getting pregnant after losing their baby.

Me too. And I also hope that she doesn't feel guilty about it (either with self guilt or someone making her feel that way). That's a situation that she had no control over whatsoever.

I think that going through something like that has helped/is helping her & Chad grow closer. However, as I haven't experienced anything like what she went through, I can't speak from personal experience. Maybe that makes me naive, perhaps?

[Bethella]

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=24121&hilit=bates+grandbaby

[roddma]

These kind of discussions make me really uncomfortable. By proclaiming this girl must be miserable in her life or heading that way and without choice or agency because she does not live a life many of us would want, we are doing nothing differently than the fundies out there - trying to impose the life and lifestyle we think is best on someone else.

How do you guys know she does not have choices? She does; just not the what YOU consider valid choices. She believes in her god and her religion and seems quite happy with it. Why is it brainwashing? This is her religion and her value system. There is something wrong with religious fundamentalism in my opinion and I like making fun of the people who buy into it. But declaring someone who seems perfectly content with her lifestyle as brainwashed and bereft of choice because they don't view things like you do and they don't look at the world the same way is nothing but a secular fundamentalism.

I don't think religious fundamentalism is good for the world, women, children, men, politics, puppies, flowers or the Baby Jesus. I'd happily pay more taxes to send them to a little island somewhere so that Ted Cruz and John Webster could run their fundy Utopia without evil gayz and smelly feminists and critical thought to muck it all up before they destroy MY America. But the whole "fundy light" conversation along with the attendant issues to which the conversation inevitably leads really makes me roll my eyes.

Laugh at them, pity them, judge them harshly, fear them, shoot down their doctrines, but don't become them.

Most of us have read up on this lifestyle and stories from those who left it. The kids have choices only if it is in alignment with their beliefs. They have been brought up to believe only one way is right. I will believe the have choices when one choose something out of the box like dating, wearing pants, cutting hair, being child-free or moving away without marriage and babies on the plate. To us 'outsiders' who were allowed college and normal lives, it seems so restricting. They dont think about the possibility of being left a widow with 12 kids or having a disable husband. Even those who married young in the secular world made decisions and lived normal teen years without parents micromanaging their lives.

How does anyone know they are happy? I am certain there are ones who stay happy with the QF life. Jill seems to be a fit and so does Priscilla Keller Waller. However,you cant use Priscilla Jill or Alyssa Bates as a measuring stick for everyone else. It is like saying look at the caged bird he's happy and singing. It's easy to be happier if you know no other life. I dont think we are trying to be like the Fundies at all on this manner. We are just concerned about the future of these kids with limited choices.