Alyssa Webster Pregnant Another Bates Grandbaby - MERGED

[SPHASH]

Yes, that's what they did.

Anytime a Duggar, Bates, Schrader, Waller, or a Maxwell gets preggo that is my response.

[Closed Womb]

I think that Alyssa being pregnant isn't that surprising. Not wanting a big family does not mean that you don't want children young. Given my choice, I'd much rather have children in early 20's and have grown children in my 40's than freedom in my 20's and young kids in the 40's.

I know that the poor women feel they are created to birth and rear children, so I'm sure that Erin might be sad. But, in a way, I'm happy for her. If she has just a few children she might really be able to enjoy life and even a career (via church musician or private lessons, of course), since music seems to be one of the few outside interests women are allowed to peruse.

[Odd1Out]

I think these fundie kids now grown up want to do some things differently from their childhood, but still want acceptance and approval from their parents. Having babies is one way to get that approval.

[ariel9]

She's the same age as my sister and my sister with a husband and baby scares me.

[justmy2cents]

This news is not that surprising. Even though she said she could see herself with 6, or maybe 8 or 10 at the most, she said in the same interview that she didn't look for a job because with her luck she would get a job and become pregnant and have to quit. Guess it never occurred to her that she can be pregnant and still work.

[LurkerOverThePond]

You took the words right out of my mouth.

And out of mine, too.

[HereticHick]

Don't assume any of these people are leaving or even drifting away from the lifestyle unless you see actual tangible proof. Wishful thinking is not enough. There was never any proof at all that Alyssa was going anywhere. She still dressed modestly, she married the son of an ATI family when she was 19, she didn't work, didn't go to school, she never gave any indication that she wanted anything different. Her comment about not wanting a million children was naivete. Maybe she thinks God won't give her that many if he doesn't think she can handle it. Good luck, Alyssa.

Actually, Alyssa did work in a flower shop. I don't want to look down on people who work part time as "not working" or "not having real jobs." I am so bummed. I really had some hope for her. How sad that the only Duggar or Bates gal who doesn't give birth in less than 14 months after marrying is Erin-- and only because she had a miscarriage, and we assume, fertility problems--not because she wanted to have any control over the size of her family.

[Firiel]

Or Erin decided not to announce the second the pee stick is dry*, after the last experience. But whether she's pregnant or not, it's way too soon to be labeling her infertile. She's already been pregnant at least once, and miscarriages are pretty common (not saying they're easy by any means, though).

ETA *Dear god I am not trying to start a 10 page debate on when to announce. People should do whatever the hell they want to do.

:lol:

[singsingsing]

Actually, Alyssa did work in a flower shop. I don't want to look down on people who work part time as "not working" or "not having real jobs." I am so bummed. I really had some hope for her. How sad that the only Duggar or Bates gal who doesn't give birth in less than 14 months after marrying is Erin-- and only because she had a miscarriage, and we assume, fertility problems--not because she wanted to have any control over the size of her family.

You're right, she did. But it was so clearly a 'just for now, just till I get married' way to pass the time. She never pursued anything seriously, never had any interest whatsoever in a career or a higher education. There's nothing wrong with that at all, it's just yet another point against the assumption that she was going fundie lite.

I think Alyssa may still go fundie lite or even mainstream at some point, but it's not happening yet.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

It's wishful thinking to believe that Alyssa would ever leave this lifestyle,but I'm still disappointed. She seems so young.

Never know--might just pop a few for the new tv show and be done. It's a continuation of Michelle--Kelly baby rivalry, but with grandchildren now.

[singsingsing]

Never know--might just pop a few for the new tv show and be done. It's a continuation of Michelle--Kelly baby rivalry, but with grandchildren now.

You really think that there is an actual 'baby rivalry' that is SO ENTRENCHED in these two families, that their children are now purposely getting pregnant and bearing children in an effort to continue the feud?

[Firiel]

You really think that there is an actual 'baby rivalry' that is SO ENTRENCHED in these two families, that their children are now purposely getting pregnant and bearing children in an effort to continue the feud?

Well, duh. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that the daughters of two fertile women belong to a religious sect that doesn't believe in using birth control are now getting married.

Instead, it has everything to do with a baby rivalry that has been passed down through the generations. Hatfields and McCoys, y'all got nothing on the Duggar/Bates baby feud! :roll:

[nokidsmom]

You're right, she did. But it was so clearly a 'just for now, just till I get married' way to pass the time. She never pursued anything seriously, never had any interest whatsoever in a career or a higher education. There's nothing wrong with that at all, it's just yet another point against the assumption that she was going fundie lite.

I think Alyssa may still go fundie lite or even mainstream at some point, but it's not happening yet.

I took Alyssa's working in the flower shop as 1) passing the time until she got married and got her "real job and 2) helping the family pay bills. Because I never thought Lawson was the only one helping to keep the family financially afloat.

It's way too soon to see whether Alyssa or any of the married kids will go fundie lite or mainstream. I understand the hopes that many of us here at FJ have for that to happen as I have been one of them. But as many of us also know, the process of figuring out what you really want in life and shedding / changing any beliefs that you have been raised with, that takes time.

One thing I would like to point out about Alyssa, she got out at 19, so she is now considered an "adult" in the fundie world. She didn't spend years at home waiting for Daddy to pick a husband. She's not living the life of the Botkinettes, who are pushing 30, waiting on Daddy and for suitors that will pass Daddy's test (as in never, probably). In a sense, she's better off, as young as she is. She is out, living away from family, living with her husband in her own house. She's got some independence, such as it is, already. Whether that independence leads to her moving away from fundiedom, remains to be seen, but she might have a better chance because she's out of the family home.

Back to her announcement, color me not surprised that she's pregnant. But agree that just because she starts young, doesn't mean she's doomed to having as much as her mother. This is just my personal feeling, but I really don't think any of the Duggar or Bates girls will have families as large as the ones they came from. Both have done enough raising of siblings already so I think that after a few, many of them will call it enough. Or their headships will because of financial strains.

[Idolatry]

Or Erin decided not to announce the second the pee stick is dry*, after the last experience. But whether she's pregnant or not, it's way too soon to be labeling her infertile. She's already been pregnant at least once, and miscarriages are pretty common (not saying they're easy by any means, though).

ETA *Dear god I am not trying to start a 10 page debate on when to announce. People should do whatever the hell they want to do.

WTF. Having one miscarriage six months ago doesn't make you "infertile." Not infertile medically, probably not even by fundie standards. That's actually a very normal thing with a very normal period of time trying.

And, yea, maybe she is also superfertile and waiting for the pee to dry to announce this time.

[nokidsmom]

You really think that there is an actual 'baby rivalry' that is SO ENTRENCHED in these two families, that their children are now purposely getting pregnant and bearing children in an effort to continue the feud?

I never got the impression of any sort of big "feud". I have gotten the vibe that Kelly/Gil and the J'parents don't necessarily like each other and maybe there are some feelings of rivalry between them but the kids of both families seem to get along fine. Really don't think the kids are trying to help "compete" just following what they have been brainwashed raised to do.

[BeccaGrim]

While I wish Alyssa and John the best, and I do, I feel terrible for Erin. Not because I personally think that she has to be popping out babies--I do NOT--but because of what it must be like in *her* world that she hasn't had a baby yet.

[HereticHick]

WTF. Having one miscarriage six months ago doesn't make you "infertile." Not infertile medically, probably not even by fundie standards. That's actually a very normal thing with a very normal period of time trying.

When I make a reference to Erin's supposed infertility, I am referring to previous discussions on this forum quoting either friends or family of hers saying that she was being treated for infertility.

And, yea, maybe she is also superfertile and waiting for the pee to dry to announce this time.

[Coco]

You're right, she did. But it was so clearly a 'just for now, just till I get married' way to pass the time. She never pursued anything seriously, never had any interest whatsoever in a career or a higher education. There's nothing wrong with that at all, it's just yet another point against the assumption that she was going fundie lite.

I think Alyssa may still go fundie lite or even mainstream at some point, but it's not happening yet.

Maybe that's one reason Gil and Kelly agreed to the new show. Just another way to keep their adult children in the cult: to preserve the image and help support the remaining siblings. It's as if they never left their parents' influence, now. They're still required to keep up the ideal and work for the family instead of branching out into independent, possibly less strict lives.

[Dandruff]

I don't think the Duggar or Bates kids are competing for numbers of children, but I do think the grandparents are keeping count.

Congrats to Alyssa and John.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I'm still trying to figure out how the Bateses got another show greenlit - didn't the first show get cancelled due to lack of interest?

[coffeebean7]

WTF. Having one miscarriage six months ago doesn't make you "infertile." Not infertile medically, probably not even by fundie standards. That's actually a very normal thing with a very normal period of time trying.

And, yea, maybe she is also superfertile and waiting for the pee to dry to announce this time.

Of course one msicarriage doesn't make her infertile. The OP was referring to all the infertility stuff that the Bates have hinted to in promoting their new upcoming show. They made comments about how the show will have stuff about some sort of medical thing that is giving Erin trouble with TTC.

I'm not surprised Alyssa is pregnant, but I was so hopeful that they would wait a bit longer. Especially with her just turning 20. The baby will be born before their 1st wedding anniversary. I feel bad for any fundie whose first months of having sex and experiencing that are ruined by morning sickness and pregnancy symptoms. I'm pregnant (also due in April) and am SO thankful that I didn't experience those first few months of having sex while being in my first trimester.

[Idolatry]

Of course one msicarriage doesn't make her infertile. The OP was referring to all the infertility stuff that the Bates have hinted to in promoting their new upcoming show. They made comments about how the show will have stuff about some sort of medical thing that is giving Erin trouble with TTC.

I haven't seen what the Bates are hinting, but this is dicey. Having slogged through infertility, I really hope this isn't the case. Going through infertility on TV is not worth any amount of TV money. Plus it's terrible TV because it's just a bunch of waiting at doctor's offices, vagina cams, crying, crying about money, drugs that make you a giant raw nerve, and waiting on hold with insurance companies, waiting for the test results, waiting for the blood results, peeing on sticks, crying some more. Repeat next cycle.

Of course, they could just be cashing in on a dramatized storyline following the miscarriage, which is gross in its own way, but much less sad. Barring some other medical issue, trying six months after a miscarriage is NOT infertility. You couldn't even get seen at my practice. Whining about a miscarriage and not having a baby after being married one freaking year would be only mildly more interesting than Anna's negative pregnancy test.

[nokidsmom]

Maybe that's one reason Gil and Kelly agreed to the new show. Just another way to keep their adult children in the cult: to preserve the image and help support the remaining siblings. It's as if they never left their parents' influence, now. They're still required to keep up the ideal and work for the family instead of branching out into independent, possibly less strict lives.

My guess it's more about the money than trying to keep the adult kids involved in the cult though it does require the adult kids to be in the show and toe the line for the family image. Maybe there are concerns that their adult kids might be heading down a less stricter path (must be some signs or it's a case of parents truly fearful to let go). However, they have got to be hurting for money. They have lost a couple of earners in the family and maybe the tree business isn't doing so well. Gil looks good for a man his age but still he can't be climbing trees forever. Maybe he's run through all the people he can grift from. Maybe Lawson in his quest to become a recording artist isn't bringing as much money.

However given their first show has cancelled pretty early, not sure how long this show will last anyway. Not familiar with the new network, but IIRC, the TLC show didn't get the numbers to keep going so maybe with this network, they might have a chance of running longer. I don't know.

[HereticHick]

Does anyone know how much US Magazine (or People or OK!, or any other mag) pays for "Exclusives" like the Alyssa baby announcement??

I honestly have no idea if we are talking $200 or $2000 or $20,000!

Or, does the payment for the "exclusive" go to the TLC (for Duggars) or UP Network (for Bates) and not to the subject of the exclusive?

I found this NY Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/05/busin ... .html?_r=0 but it is 6 years old, and is talking about major celebrities, not C list celebrities like the Duggars, or D list celebrities like the Bates!

[Idolatry]

Hey! I have the UP Network. Currently showing a Supernanny marathon, then two holiday themed G-rated romantic comedies, then "The Parkers" and Moesha. I don't see any original programming.

Maybe the Bates are supposed to carry the network, like RuPaul carries LOGO.

Edit to add: Looks like they do have a morning show, UP in the Morning, and something called UP Christmas, which appears to be gospel, featuring various performers.