'Strike your children like a doc in surgery'

[JaChelle Sugar]

A local fundy pastor says we should spank our children 'with the care we would want a doctor to have when doing surgery on us'.

Yeah. No.

[lemonhead]

Damn. That's cold.

My parents were hitters, and this was their approach. Cold, methodical, beat 'em till they stop crying, because as long as you're crying you're still rebelling.

I sometimes wished my mom would just get mad because her totally disconnected, unemotional voice and facial expression was so horrifying. Spanking with surgical precision is just fucked up.

[doggie]

Christianity the peaceful religion

[thoughtful]

:shock:

As with Michael Pearl, I find the idea of being so interested in spanking that one wants to develop technique incredibly sickening.

[feministxtian]

Christianity the peaceful religion

Yeah...I'm a Christian and didn't spank much. Well...there was the time I popped my then 15 year old daughter in the mouth for mouthing off...that's when she threatened to call the cops on me. I told her go ahead and tell the 911 dispatcher they'd be coming to investigate a murder because I wasn't going down for child abuse. She figured out that mama was pissed and had enough of her bullshit. Sometimes it gets the point across. BUT...I do not advocate the fundy child abuse method. I also kicked my then 19 year old son's ass because he was stupid enough to take a swing at me. I'm not saying it was right and I probably should have found a different way to deal with things, but at the time...

Yeah, my kids were hellions who usually only understood reasserting who was the Alpha of the pack. I WILL say that the children in question, as adults, now admit that what they did was wrong and they got what they deserved for messing with mama. Not that I said anything to them about it...they had the clarity to look back and realize that their own behavior was out of line. I believe and have always believed that my kids are the most fantastic, incredible individuals I've ever had the privilege of knowing and find it mind-blowing that I created these human beings. I'm quite proud to be their mama.

[momof2treasures]

I hate spanking, but I have popped my child when I have been pushed and tested to the limit. I have a limit and my son likes to test. So a single swat on the butt or the hand has happened. And yeah I was mad. Otherwise I wouldn't have resorted to a swat to get my kids attention. There are almost always better ways to discipline and I find the idea of spanking a child calmly and without anger super creepy.

[trailmix2014]

Umm, yeah. Christian mom here who doesn't spank at all. I think spanking is horrible. I believe in gentle parenting. In my opinion, the spanking zealots give the rest of us Christians a bad name.

[BrownieMomma]

A local fundy pastor says we should spank our children 'with the care we would want a doctor to have when doing surgery on us'.

Yeah. No.

What the heck is that supposed to mean? Get a good night's rest, have a good breakfast, be clear minded, have the education and skills and experience to successfully perform... a spanking?

This is some kind of piggybacking akin to abortion = holocaust.

[JaChelle Sugar]

Ugh, no kidding. Maybe it means you should be extra careful not damage the child? I dunno. Metaphor fail.

[Trynn]

I would not want my surgeon to hit my child, especially if they were performing surgery on my child while hitting them.

[julie paradox]

I think it means you should use it as a tool to get the results. You're a surgeon rather than an armed attacker.

It's the same idea that says you shouldn't hit your children out of anger. A lot of people don't like the idea of coldbloodedly hitting a child, but given that there are people who coldbloodedly decide they will hit their child if they consider it necessary it's probably a good thing if they're persuaded not to do it in a rage.

[docmom]

Rotten, rotten, rotten analogy (quelle surprise). Surgeons go in primarily to do good and have to cause harm in the process so I sort of see that analogy if you think spanking is ultimately good (I don't), BUT surgery also results in scar tissue. Things are never completely the same after they've been cut into and even when fully healed scars are much more fragile than tissue that's been left alone. So not something I really want done to my child...

[browncoatslytherin]

A local fundy pastor says we should spank our children 'with the care we would want a doctor to have when doing surgery on us'.

Yeah. No.

that analogy makes absolutely no sense to me :shock:

[Koala]

Yeah...I'm a Christian and didn't spank much. Well...there was the time I popped my then 15 year old daughter in the mouth for mouthing off...that's when she threatened to call the cops on me. I told her go ahead and tell the 911 dispatcher they'd be coming to investigate a murder because I wasn't going down for child abuse. She figured out that mama was pissed and had enough of her bullshit. Sometimes it gets the point across.

I'm sorry, but did you just say that hitting someone in the face and then flippantly insinuating you'll kill them if they call the cops to report the assault is a way to "get the point across"??? (yes, I get that the threat was in jest, but it's still wildly inappropriate. If you'd hit your spouse in the face, people would be urging him/her to phone police)

Does that work for friends and significant others, or do you reserve that treatment for your children?

[eviek]

We joined a church years ago, and when they found out we didn't spank, we were sat down by several leaders and just barraged with information on how we were damaging our kids. :shock: So wrong.

Jesus take the wheel.

[kpmom]

I'm sorry, but did you just say that hitting someone in the face and then flippantly insinuating you'll kill them if they call the cops to report the assault is a way to "get the point across"??? (yes, I get that the threat was in jest, but it's still wildly inappropriate. If you'd hit your spouse in the face, people would be urging him/her to phone police)

Does that work for friends and significant others, or do you reserve that treatment for your children?

I read that and wondered what would have happened if 15 y/o had called her bluff and gone ahead and called the cops?

[treemom]

I spanked my child once. It has taken me a long time to admit that because I am so ashamed. I regret it very much. I can't decide whether I think it is abuse, but I do know that I think it is lazy parenting.

[Freed]

I read that and wondered what would have happened if 15 y/o had called her bluff and gone ahead and called the cops?

From friends' experiences? The cops would have laughed it off and told the kid they deserved it.

[RosyDaisy]

Damn! These fundies have no critical or logical thinking skills. A surgeon informs the patient or parent about the surgery, gives anesthesia or local anesthetic when performing surgery. Surgery is also fixing something that's wrong with your body. A whipping, not so much.

I don't have kids myself, but I have watched my sister discipline her kids, and she never once used corporal punishment. Sorry if this offends, but it seems to me that corporal punishment is lazy parenting and can turn children into bullies.

[feministxtian]

I'm sorry, but did you just say that hitting someone in the face and then flippantly insinuating you'll kill them if they call the cops to report the assault is a way to "get the point across"??? (yes, I get that the threat was in jest, but it's still wildly inappropriate. If you'd hit your spouse in the face, people would be urging him/her to phone police)

Does that work for friends and significant others, or do you reserve that treatment for your children?

It worked. She realized she had pushed me too far. She's now 32 and will tell you that that was the day she figured out that her BS act wasn't working with me. Yes, it got the point across.

I HAVE hit my spouse...with a dutch oven lid...while he had me in a choke hold and was reaching for a knife.

[Koala]

From friends' experiences? The cops would have laughed it off and told the kid they deserved it.

And that's a damn shame, because children are the only people in the US that you can smack in the face and get away with it. Disgusting. Like I said, if a man had done this to his wife and then made such a threat *even in jest*, people would come un.fucking.glued

[Koala]

It worked. She realized she had pushed me too far. She's now 32 and will tell you that that was the day she figured out that her BS act wasn't working with me. Yes, it got the point across.

I HAVE hit my spouse...with a dutch oven lid...while he had me in a choke hold and was reaching for a knife.

The ends don't justify the means. If hitting your child in the face is the only way you can convey that "her bs isn't working for you" then I'd suggest you were a HUGE part of the problem. Seriously, what if someone decided that being smacked in the face "worked" for you. Would that be okay as long as it "got the point across"?

The fact that you were abused by your spouse is horrifying, but in no way justifies you being physically violent with your daughter. Hitting someone who has you in a choke hold doesn't compare with hitting a smart mouthed kid in the face.

[JaChelle Sugar]

Damn! These fundies have no critical or logical thinking skills. A surgeon informs the patient or parent about the surgery, gives anesthesia or local anesthetic when performing surgery. Surgery is also fixing something that's wrong with your body. A whipping, not so much.

I don't have kids myself, but I have watched my sister discipline her kids, and she never once used corporal punishment. Sorry if this offends, but it seems to me that corporal punishment is lazy parenting and can turn children into bullies.

No damn sense. Then again, this guy also said we hate our children by loving them to much putting them first etc, and the most loving thing we could do for them is to hate them like god says you must hate your father, mother, sister, brother etc.

This guy is usually fairly sane, fundy-lite, but sometimes weird fundy stuff comes out.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

The ends don't justify the means. If hitting your child in the face is the only way you can convey that "her bs isn't working for you" then I'd suggest you were a HUGE part of the problem. Seriously, what if someone decided that being smacked in the face "worked" for you. Would that be okay as long as it "got the point across"?

The fact that you were abused by your spouse is horrifying, but in no way justifies you being physically violent with your daughter. Hitting someone who has you in a choke hold doesn't compare with hitting a smart mouthed kid in the face.

Yeah...between hitting your daughter in the face and getting into a physical altercation with your 19 y/o son, I think there is a serious cycle of violence going on in feministxtian's family. So completely disturbed by the story and by the flippancy of tone. :pink-shock:

[DGayle]

We joined a church years ago, and when they found out we didn't spank, we were sat down by several leaders and just barraged with information on how we were damaging our kids. :shock: So wrong.

Jesus take the wheel.

If your kids respond well to no spankings ever, how is it damaging to not change that? We spank if our kids on purpose break the rules that they know (every couple months or so, one swat by hand), and won't stop when given warnings. The whole no-spanking didn't work for us. But it does for some people.

The people who advocate spanking every kid to the point of beating are just like the people who think there should never be any punishments of any sort, or even a no, because Junior's feelings might be hurt, are different sides of the same coin. Extremism is bad. If you're in the middle, and what you're doing works, then excellent, the extremists can shut up.