Women + Premarital Sex = Filthy Dishrags

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

Wow- this seriously makes me boil. They will never call men out because they are "just programmed that way". And having premarital sex does not mean you are bad person or will be a bad wife and mother.

I even grew up being warned about pre-martial kissing and how that will haunt you for the rest of your life. The ridiculousness just never ends.

[moodygirl86]

What a charming man. Not.

[smittykins]

Wow- this seriously makes me boil. They will never call men out because they are "just programmed that way."

And, doncha know, Men Have Needs. :roll:

[thoughtful]

Does it never occur to any of the congregants that these stupid analogies mean the person making the analogy thinks a woman is just an object?

Don't they ever think about the fact that sex is something people do, not something that marks them forever if it happens once?

All of the "used object" analogies are just bizarre, besides being insulting. It's like saying you'd never marry someone who had gone out and done some gardening, or changed the oil in the car, or worked out, as if they still had soil or oil or sweat on them, forever and ever.

Consenting adults have sex. Then they wash up. Then they go on about their business, no "dirtier" or more "used" than they were before.

:cray-cray:

Oh, and I wish the pastors who want to dictate what women wear would all just go into fashion design already. Clearly, that's what they really want to do for a living.

:lol:

[feministxtian]

What about the MEN who have premarital sex? Last I remember, it takes two to tango...

[smittykins]

Well, as it's been said before, men can't control themselves--full stop--so unless the women dress/act modestly so as not to cause their brothers in Christ to "stumble," the men are in danger of being led astray by the slutty sluts who slut.

[bluehydrangea]

Hi, Marshmallow World, welcome to FJ!

Where are these funerals where women are whoring it up? I've never been to one, but upon hearing this I'm thinking about rewriting my will to require everyone to dress like prostitutes at my funeral.

Okay, I think this guy is a total asshat and in no way agree with him, but I recently had an experience at a funeral where something along these lines actually happened:

My elderly childhood neighbor died earlier this year. He was 97. He was beloved by the community, so there were many people, young and old present. There was a girl who was a year older than me in school (so 25 or 26 now) present, and I was a bit surprised at the outfit she had selected -- a super-short, skin-tight (black) bodycon dress with 5 inch heels. As she walked in the line to greet the family, she had to yank the skirt down to prevent it riding up to perilously high levels. At a funeral for a little old man, it was a little shocking, but I just chalked it up to bad taste/nothing to wear(?) rather than an intention to whore it up. I will say that I do think it's important for any person (a man or woman) to know how to choose an appropriate outfit for different occasions, BUT...this guy just automatically assumes that anyone dressed a certain way is a "filthy dishrag", which of course is ridiculous.

I wonder what it's like to spend all your time at important events like weddings and funerals judging the shit out of everyone in the name of the Lord. How can he justify it?

[August]

This obsession with sex and other people's sex lives really shows how unsatisfying it is for them to have married people who turned out to be sexually incompatible. Should have figured that out before you committed, guys, and you would have been able to talk about something more adult now.

[BrownieMomma]

For me, the absolute most annoying thing about this is what does he hope to accomplish?

The first and main irritation is how women are filthy but WTF seriously what about the guy who put it in her? Why is he not as filthy? This is just so stupid.

Then, if a woman has already lost her virginity, even if to the man she married, what's the point? Is it to keep a woman from catting around and having more sex with someone she's not married to? If you are already filthy, does the degree of filthiness matter?

How about encouraging people to moral behavior rather shaming them into it?

Well, that's nice they have a dress code, we have one at my church too but I see the spirit of it broken every single weekend by my sisters who wear the correct length skirt and sleeve but the tight fit leaves zero to the imagination. I suppose its better to not show any thigh but ah.. hmm... instead of strict rules, how about encourage women to dress beautifully yet modestly?

[Shirley Blest]

Why yes! I am a dirty...dirty girl...and I like it that way!

After spending 35 years as the "good girl", I like the view from over here...its much more fun! :mrgreen:

[RosyDaisy]

Seeing as how my fiancee and I are getting married, I'm pretty sure he doesn't consider me a filthy dishrag for having sex with other men before him. If he heard another man say that to me, he would probably kick his ass. Fuck these MRAs!

The problems is twofold. First, these MRAs want power and control. Plus they feel entitled to sex. Well, you know what assholes? You are owed nothing and deserve nothing. Now go introduce your right hand to your dick!

[browncoatslytherin]

Oh, you know, the token funeral jezebel. There's always that one wild lady flaunting her calves and shoulders all willy-nilly, trying to upstage the corpse...

for the record, i have seen a couple of people at funerals who were not quite dressed appropriately. they didn't look like night walkers, i suppose, but wore clothes i would have considered immodest for a funeral (and i'm actually pretty high on the scale of being for wearing what you want and fuck anyone who doesn't like it...i just also hold to the notion that there are some circumstances where a certain amount of decorum is expected and should be delivered).

[Rebelwife]

for the record, i have seen a couple of people at funerals who were not quite dressed appropriately. they didn't look like night walkers, i suppose, but wore clothes i would have considered immodest for a funeral (and i'm actually pretty high on the scale of being for wearing what you want and fuck anyone who doesn't like it...i just also hold to the notion that there are some circumstances where a certain amount of decorum is expected and should be delivered).

I've seen it at a few funerals as well, usually girls in their early 20's. I generally get the impression that they're (respectfully) trying to follow the tradition of black at a funeral and maybe don't recognize that if the only black dress you own is one you go clubbing in, perhaps it would be better to wear a different color in a more suitable outfit. I put it down to youth and don't assume they're Jezebels, unless they start actively chatting up guests at the wake. :D

[Georgiana]

I wont sleep with a man who has any qualms about my sexual past. Honestly, it's not going to be worth it because they wont be any good. To me, that denotes selfishness and insecurity.

When a guy is happy that you've explored your sexuality because it means you know what you like and you know how he can please you, now THAT's a guy worth taking to bed.

[Selah]

After growing up pretty deep in the purity culture (especially for an english girl - that hype isn't so big over here), I remember actually losing my virginity and expecting the waves of guilt and realisation that I am indeed, a dirty filthy dishrag, unable to give my whole heart to my husband. :shifty:

It never came. In fact, in a lot of ways I felt happier, less miserable and even closer to God than I had before. Trying to be 'pure' had been a thoroughly miserable experience. But sex in a healthy context was actually rather enjoyable (shock, horror!).

Next :popcorn2:

[Bretta]

*rants*

This is so disgusting. Ugh.

What is the point in making those kinds of statements? Even if you are a person who has made your own choice to not have premarital sex, that doesn't meant that you can or should publicly shame or use abusive language on people (specifically, only women) who do.

Creating that kind of atmosphere/pressure/condemnation and is not going to change a single person's decision. Their decision is their own - but there will perhaps be many who DO make the choice, and then they might be forced to deal with their problems alone because they feel they have no one to go to. They will also suffer guilt. What is the point in alienating young women who you don't feel measure up to your dictates? What is the point in creating a "standard" and expecting people to live up to it? And what if it was rape... do they then become worthless? Why should a young woman's entire self-esteem and value be based on your judgment of them? This is really destructive...

It pisses me off because I know there are many religions who prefer to still believe in not having premarital sex, which is fine because its peoples' personal choice ie shomer negiah. It just makes all those people look ridiculous and arrogant.

One can hold to all the right "Biblical" or "evangelical" doctrine, sure. One can believe in the Ten Commandments - no one's stopping you. But one can believe in all the *right* things (ala according to the book) and have an ugly attitude, and at the end of the day I believe one's attitude is what really counts.

Because this preacher is a Christian, you can look at the Christian example and see that the emphasis is really more on themes like redemption and salvation. The Christian doctrine (agree or disagree with it) is not that those who do certain things are sinners, worthless, or worth less than others. In fact, it states that one's "righteousness" or "right-doing" are filthy rags. Basically, you can do all the right things, but if your heart is ugly, you are just as bad. The emphasis is that is all have weaknesses and failings in one form or another and that one shouldn't think oneself better than another. Instead, all need "redemption" - that is the basis of Christianity. A statement like this preacher has made would be in fact in direct contradiction to what the evangelical scriptures really refer to as "filthy rags" or "worthless".

Or if you look at Christian theology, for example (I really like this quote but I can't remember it exactly), Dietrich Bonhoeffer said that chastity is not the end, not some supreme ideal or virtue, and that on its own its virtually useless. For him, it was more of the orientating of his life towards a goal and that fixation on it as determining the choices he made.

*rant over*