So why aren't Jana and Jinger married? According to JB

[Feberin]

If that is the reason then we should never discuss women's orientation on this forum because they are either under the authority of their father or their husband. For adult women it does not make a difference wether they live at home or with a husband because they are never independent. It will always be "dangerous" to discuss women's issues here. But were else could we do it if not here. And it's a snark forum, people are talking about Joy's body (even though she is a minor) or Josie's possible mental disability (she is a small child!!). It could be far more (physically) dangerous for Joy when her body shape is discussed here.

I think speculating on women is a little different. Since most of their husbands would be more willing to laugh that off then they would with their sons or daughters. I mean do you really think Jim Bob would have the same reaction to finding out we think Michelle is a lesbian then finding out we think one of his unmarried daughters is a lesbian? There are also men like Derrick who I can't ever imagine hurting Jill especially over an internet rumor. I also agree with others who pointed out in most cases we're talking about horrible stereotyping. _____ is so feminine he must be gay seems to be the entire basis for most speculation here. It's not like we're saying "did you see the pictures leaked of Josh kissing another man? He must be gay."

I also think in the Duggars' world view things like a mental disability is not the same as being gay. I've never heard any of them claim that people with mental disabilities are going to hell or anything. While I could see Josie suffering if she's unable to keep up with tasks they set for her. I can't see them beating her because of an internet rumor that she's disabled.

[acheronbeach]

It's also something else to watch a clip, and say "I don't know them, but this person can't hide their gayness, I can tell! Oh and they should totally hook up with other celebrity who isn't out but whom my gaydar has also 100% identified!"

Beyond the sheer stupidity and arrogance of it, it puts these young fundies in a potentially dangerous situation - I'm already imagining the so called counseling, or re-education programs, etcetera.

[isarhenne]

It's also something else to watch a clip, and say "I don't know them, but this person can't hide their gayness, I can tell! Oh and they should totally hook up with other celebrity who isn't out but whom my gaydar has also 100% identified!"

Beyond the sheer stupidity and arrogance of it, it puts these young fundies in a potentially dangerous situation - I'm already imagining the so called counseling, or re-education programs, etcetera.

Again: This is a snark forum and IMO there are things discussed here that are "worse" and could cause more damage (like Joy's body type). Someone above said that we can close freejinger entirely then. the majority of comments here are...to use your kind words... arrogant and stupid because it's a snark forum.

Seriously: Calling the whole forum freejinger would be the biggest arrogance and stupidity of it all!!! We should immediately rename this place. I would say this forum as a whole could cause Jinger more problems than any comment (if it has effected her in any way at all).

Also I think people are overestimating the influence freejinger has on the Duggars. Really. We go here several times per week to read (at least I do). Of all the Duggars maybe Amy does that if she even knows about it. The rest of them simply don't have the time to do so and would probably not believe a single bit what evil strangers talk about them. And they don't take Amy that seriously.

[acheronbeach]

Actually, I find most comments on here pretty thought-provoking. Snark is rarely stupid and shallow.

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

It's because these two are planning their escape via the underground tunnel they've been digging with their plastic spoons.

The TTH Redemption?!

(Leaving out certain conditions in the state pen, of course. Just the digging to freedom and being "confined" parts.)

[acat7]

I can't believe yall can read that much into that one little comment on starcasm of all places. You want to know what I think? Jim Bob knows he doesn't have an answer and is facing criticism, so he's dancing around the question and basically saying the exact same thing for both girls. He can't directly say the same thing or else it would be obvious that he's throwing out blanket statements, so he just changed up the wording and unfortunately, the way he worded Jinger's sounded weird- probably because it was the second. Do you really think Jim Bob Duggar would actually say anything that would insinuate his daughter doesn't like men? You have got to be kidding.

Jana and Jinger are in a fucked up situation that makes their dad gatekeeper of their marriages. So far the guys have been complete weirdos or stalkers and beig that Jana and Jinger are IMO the smartest of the oldest girls, they aren't trying to play with fire and end up married to a total man child just cause one time they told their dad the guy is cute

[Walking Cat Bed]

It's also something else to watch a clip, and say "I don't know them, but this person can't hide their gayness, I can tell! Oh and they should totally hook up with other celebrity who isn't out but whom my gaydar has also 100% identified!"

Beyond the sheer stupidity and arrogance of it, it puts these young fundies in a potentially dangerous situation - I'm already imagining the so called counseling, or re-education programs, etcetera.

I can also see the person themselves taking speculation very badly. If one of the Duggar kidults WERE gay/lesbian, I have no doubt that they're very focused on not letting it show; the idea that people watching the show notice behaviors/mannerisms/whatever else could be enough to really upset one of them, and at minimum lead to more effort in hiding (and could spiral into worse and worse outcomes from there, like self-harm).

So, yeah, I'm okay with not speculating about fundie kidult sexuality.

[SassyPants]

Frankly, I think that the girls are at home because the Duggars still need help with the younger kids. Plus, Jana and Jinger seem to be the quieter and shy types, and those folks usually have a harder time when it comes to attracting others...people often view that type as "stuck up." I have seen it on more than 1 occasion with co-workers. The nicest people ever, but because they are really quiet they are perceived as unfriendly.

[Cats B4 Quivers]

There is always the chance that some of the male talent that have trotted past JimBoob have been so underwhelming, even compared to manchild Ben (now there is a thought!), that Jana and Jinger are in no hurry to transfer headship.

Anecdote moment, in my early 20s, my mother decided I was going to die a spinster and arranged a blind date with the son of a church friend. I ... Just ... Couldn't believe it! I was appalled in about 50 different ways ranging from "nononononono not anyone ever from THAT church!" to "what the hell? I have a boyfriend and I don't see the need in marrying him. And quit saying why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. That is insulting.". Basically, I would never, ever in a billion years go near my mother's choice in suitable life partners. I know myself well and her taste in men is atrocious.

But how the hell is either Jana or Jinger or any of the Duggar kids ever meeting the best person for each of them when JimBoob is judge and executioner? What a sickening and abusive system.

[snarkykitty]

I think speculating on women is a little different. Since most of their husbands would be more willing to laugh that off then they would with their sons or daughters. I mean do you really think Jim Bob would have the same reaction to finding out we think Michelle is a lesbian then finding out we think one of his unmarried daughters is a lesbian? There are also men like Derrick who I can't ever imagine hurting Jill especially over an internet rumor. I also agree with others who pointed out in most cases we're talking about horrible stereotyping. _____ is so feminine he must be gay seems to be the entire basis for most speculation here. It's not like we're saying "did you see the pictures leaked of Josh kissing another man? He must be gay."

I also think in the Duggars' world view things like a mental disability is not the same as being gay. I've never heard any of them claim that people with mental disabilities are going to hell or anything. While I could see Josie suffering if she's unable to keep up with tasks they set for her. I can't see them beating her because of an internet rumor that she's disabled.

Have you seen how they appear to (not) engage with Michele's sister, who is gay? Her sister, with whom she grew up, and spent every day, for her entire childhood??

[SassyPants]

There is always the chance that some of the male talent that have trotted past JimBoob have been so underwhelming, even compared to manchild Ben (now there is a thought!), that Jana and Jinger are in no hurry to transfer headship.

Anecdote moment, in my early 20s, my mother decided I was going to die a spinster and arranged a blind date with the son of a church friend. I ... Just ... Couldn't believe it! I was appalled in about 50 different ways ranging from "nononononono not anyone ever from THAT church!" to "what the hell? I have a boyfriend and I don't see the need in marrying him. And quit saying why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. That is insulting.". Basically, I would never, ever in a billion years go near my mother's choice in suitable life partners. I know myself well and her taste in men is atrocious.

But how the hell is either Jana or Jinger or any of the Duggar kids ever meeting the best person for each of them when JimBoob is judge and executioner? What a sickening and abusive system.

Frightening that an undereducated, unemployed, 19 yo was deemed A-OK, and that other potential suitors might have been worse.

[Ellimenopy]

Frightening that an undereducated, unemployed, 19 yo was deemed A-OK, and that other potential suitors might have been worse.

While I agree with your statement, I never got the impression that Ben was enthusiastically A-OK with Jim Bob as contrasted with Derick. Maybe that's just me.

[straygoldfish]

I wonder if it's a case of they "devil" the know is better than the one they don't. At least with JB, life is stable and they know what's expected of them and what to expect from him. Marrying a guy you've known less than a year and have never even spent 5 minutes alone with is more than a little scary, IME. Especially when their sexual education is sketchy at best and I doubt they even know their own bodies in that way.

I hate that it seems like they get treated like cattle at an auction and get "sold" to the candidate JB deems acceptable.

[SassyPants]

While I agree with your statement, I never got the impression that Ben was enthusiastically A-OK with Jim Bob as contrasted with Derick. Maybe that's just me.

In Gothard's system, any reservation, no matter how slight, would have been reason enough for JB to have said, "no" to the the union. In the absence of such, JB must have been A-Ok. Not sure why the enthusiastically was added??? These folks are back and white thinkers and decision makers. Ben was either A-Ok or he was not. Clearly, he made JB's cut.

[Ellimenopy]

In Gothard's system, any reservation, no matter how slight, would have been reason enough for JB to have said, "no" to the the union. In the absence of such, JB must have been A-Ok. Not sure why the enthusiastically was added??? These folks are back and white thinkers and decision makers. Ben was either A-Ok or he was not. Clearly, he made JB's cut.

That's not entirely true. While Jim Bob could have said "no," Jessa also could have eloped. She joked about it at one point. She actually had more power in this situation than a normal ATI girl would because of the scrutiny of the cameras. I think Ben meets the basic requirements for an ATI husband, and I don't think Jim Bob resents him or anything, but I stand by my assessment that he was never as enthusiastic about Ben and Jessa like he was about Jill and Derick. Now, that could be because he likes Jill better in general, or just because he thought that Jessa was less in love than Jill - it never really became clear what his reasons were. But he did seem to be more reserved with Ben than with Derick. Maybe for the simple fact that he knew Derick longer.

[SassyPants]

That's not entirely true. While Jim Bob could have said "no," Jessa also could have eloped. She joked about it at one point. She actually had more power in this situation than a normal ATI girl would because of the scrutiny of the cameras. I think Ben meets the basic requirements for an ATI husband, and I don't think Jim Bob resents him or anything, but I stand by my assessment that he was never as enthusiastic about Ben and Jessa like he was about Jill and Derick. Now, that could be because he likes Jill better in general, or just because he thought that Jessa was less in love than Jill - it never really became clear what his reasons were. But he did seem to be more reserved with Ben than with Derick. Maybe for the simple fact that he knew Derick longer.

Personally, I did not see JB treat Ben any differently than he treated Derick-maybe a few quips about Ben being afraid of heights and pulling him by the tie as they prepped for Jill's wedding, but...I did hear JB ask Derick how he intended to support Jill and I did not see the same with Ben, which was odd since Derick has a degree and job independent of the Duggars.

Sometimes I think people project and see what they think they should see. It makes sense that ANY parent would prefer an educated, independent, employed 25 YO vs an uneducated and unemployed 19 yo teen for a potential spouse for their daughter.

There was little actual chance of Jessa eloping- where would they have lived and how what they have supported themselves?

[eh02]

While I agree with your statement, I never got the impression that Ben was enthusiastically A-OK with Jim Bob as contrasted with Derick. Maybe that's just me.

I'm not sure Derick is necessarily A-OK with Jim Bob as much as he just respects the fact that he's Jill's dad. I'm already somewhat suspicious of the whole "prayer partner" story because I think they are probably leaving out a lot of details.

I don't think it's unusual to bend to tolerate things you wouldn't normally to try to form a good relationship with a spouse's family. I'm sure most of us have played nice with someone in a spouse's family that we don't care for just because it seems like the right thing to do, and because you love your spouse and respect their relationship with their family. I mean, Jill and Derick did NOT look like they were enjoying being treated like inept children when Jim Bob and Michelle thought it'd be a great idea to handcuff them to see if they could make a sandwich with one hand each. I mean, WTF? Even Jill flat out suggested her dad was an idiot who treated them like children. And that's Jilly Muffin. I'mt not suggesting Derick actually dislikes Jim Bob, but I don't think he's exactly kissing his feet either.

Ben might put up with some stuff from Jim Bob, but I do think he likes JB+M. He seems much more inclined toward the black and white type of beliefs with very limited real world practicality, just like the Duggars.

I mean, I know it's small, but things like them going to the Broadway show or not instagramming loaded images like Josh, Anna, Jessa and Ben is already as much of a departure from the "Duggar way" as we've seen so far. I am not buying that the absence of those things is just a coincidence or accident - it's intentional IMO. Everything the Duggars put on instagram or facebook is intentional.

[Et Moi]

Speaking as an out to the world gay adult from a conservative background, this speculation about gay Duggars, even if particular names aren't named or it's only hinted at while talking about a specific kid really needs to not happen.

I was able to fly under everyone's radar as a kid, and had myself convinced that it was just that none of the guys I met were up to my standards until I was at the point in my life where I was able to safely consider things. By the time I started coming out to myself I was an adult with the experience to know that everything I'd been told about gay people as I was growing up was a lie, and I was able to accept myself with minimal mental anguish. If people had started trying to drag me out of the closet by speculating about me and my lack of relationships in a way I was aware of it would have either driven me into deeper denial or it would have made a relatively painless processing of my sexuality as an adult into a mass of self-hatred and efforts to change so as to avoid the fires of hell.

And that's not even going into if everyone is speculating about a kid that knows full well they're gay and are trying to fly under the radar until they're in a position to leave. Drawing attention is a bad idea. That's true whether people come right out and say, "I think XYZ Duggar is gay," or if it's just hints being dropped.

Not speculating has nothing to do with homophobia or with assuming everyone is straight, it's about giving potentially queer kids the space to grow and find themselves without too much attention.

[Irish13]

This quote has been on a few threads and it always makes me wonder...where does he go to hear about them? Do they all line up somewhere together? :lol:

I think it is a typo, I think he most likely said "I have gone to HER about each one"

Jana spent a lot of time in DC over the summer. I am hoping she met someone there and was able to "date" somewhat normally and is just keeping it quiet.

[marmalade]

Have you seen how they appear to (not) engage with Michele's sister, who is gay? Her sister, with whom she grew up, and spent every day, for her entire childhood??

Not necessarily. Michelle's oldest sister Pam is 22 years older than she, making her 70 now. Remember, Pam was pregnant at the same time their mother was pregnant with Michelle. I'm not sure of Evelyn's exact age, but she appears to be in her early-mid 60's, bit I know for sure that the only brother, Garrett Jr., who is second to last in the birth order, is 7 or 8 years older than Michelle. Meaning, Evelyn was out of the house probably around the time Michelle was around 7 or 8, tops. Given the age differences, I don't think Michelle had very close relationships with her siblings, many of whom moved back to Ohio (where the Ruarks originated if you read the obituaries) once they were grown.

[nolongerIFBx]

I agree. My husband has a certain je ne sais quoi that draws me to him. Sure, I think other men are attractive, but not as much as him. I think Jana and Jinger are both wise to be picky or they'll just get trapped in the cycle.

Jenna said what? (Sorry couldn't resist!)

[bBvideo 560,340:d06mrfxz]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUUGq-KwAD0https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUUGq-KwAD0[/bBvideo]

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I don't know. I just read Jim Bob's comment about Jinger as "So far, she wasn't interested in the guys that were interested/expressed interest in her."

So she hasn't found someone she likes? That's hardly unusual at her age. The only difference is she hasn't been thru umpteen boyfriends along the way like most girls her age. I hope she marries one of the crew!

[Selah]

So she hasn't found someone she likes? That's hardly unusual at her age. The only difference is she hasn't been thru umpteen boyfriends along the way like most girls her age. I hope she marries one of the crew!

I can actually see that, they can run away and he can show her the world

I'll keep dreaming.

[Coffee Addict]

I can actually see that, they can run away and he can show her the world

I'll keep dreaming.

I actually thought that would happen when the show first started. I was ready for an immediate scandal of one of the girls hooking up with someone on the crew. As I watched the episodes I gave up on that happening. I believe that most of the crew is married.

I did think it was odd that Boob allowed so many adult men in his home around his daughters. They film in the girls' room and everything. I guess anything to keep the money rolling in. :doh: :cray-cray: For some reason this has always bothered me. It seems so out of line with their beliefs and is a big reminder to how hypocritical Boob and Mullet are.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I actually thought that would happen when the show first started. I was ready for an immediate scandal of one of the girls hooking up with someone on the crew. As I watched the episodes I gave up on that happening. I believe that most of the crew is married.

I did think it was odd that Boob allowed so many adult men in his home around his daughters. They film in the girls' room and everything. I guess anything to keep the money rolling in. :doh: :cray-cray: For some reason this has always bothered me. It seems so out of line with their beliefs and is a big reminder to how hypocritical Boob and Mullet are.

At this point, if the Duggar parents felt that putting cameras in the bathrooms would make TLC give them more money, I think they would do it without question. Money is their god now.