The allure of Starbucks - MERGED

[RachelB]

Remind me to stop getting extra foam!

Also, who noticed it tasted like semen? I thought oral sex was forbidden. Was it a man or woman?

The things those crazy fundies do in the name of science!

A church choir buddy shared this story on the carpool home after service a couple weeks ago, and without thinking, I said, "Avoid the creamer." She is going to be laughing about that for years.

[Cran]

It's not like I haven't swallowed before... :morningcoffee:

[JBsHairspray]

Oh you guys.....stop it!!

I just choked on my Pumpkin Spice Spunkaccino.

[Black Aliss]

I just watched the video. I am stunned that there is a preacher out there who makes our beloved PP look almost sane.

All the same, I'm sticking with brewed black coffee, just to be safe.

[ViolaSebastian]

Yes, you read that right.

According to Pastor James David Manning, of the All the Land Anointed Holy Worldwide Missionary Church in Harlem, Starbucks tasty, tasty coffee is, in fact, spiked with the semen of men who have sex with other men. As well as 'ground zero' for the Ebola virus.

“They had a big bucket of Starbucks coffee. They said that this church is a hate church, and that I’m a hate preacher...Starbucks is a place where these types frequent and a lot of body fluids are exchanged there. But the thing that I was not aware of is that there has been information that has been released… what Starbucks was doing, is they were taking specimens of male semen, and they were putting it in the blends of their lattes. Now, this is the absolute truth.â€

Evidently, semen not only flavors up the coffee, but has the magical ability to make you feel like you're having a good time. So that's why a latte costs $6.

I'll take mine with extra cream, please.

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/starbucks-semen-rant/

[CallmeChaCha]

We already started discussing how many shots of "sodomite semen" we all like in our Starbucks drinks :D

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=23950

[Four is Enough]

"So, I'm a Starbucks virgin. If I drink a latte, can I get pregnant with a sodomite's baby?" :shock:

[feministxtian]

the truly sad thing is that there are people who would believe this bullshit.

[bean]

I have no witty commentary, but I am going to leave this here:

http://m.nydailynews.com/news/national/ ... 8333#bmb=1

[thoughtful]

I have no witty commentary, but I am going to leave this here:

http://m.nydailynews.com/news/national/ ... 8333#bmb=1

Well, that's OK, though -- because he's straight! :lol:

And I'm glad you had something to contribute, because it is fitting and proper that someone who posts as "bean" is represented on the coffee thread.

[Hane]

thoughtful, knock it the fuck off. I'm sitting here in my office and hyperventilating and Kegeling as hard as I can because I don't have a spare pair of jeans here.

[thoughtful]

thoughtful, knock it the fuck off. I'm sitting here in my office and hyperventilating and Kegeling as hard as I can because I don't have a spare pair of jeans here.

[wildcatgrrl]

What if I don't drink coffee? Is the Vanilla Bean Creme Frappe safe? It's all white, so how can I tell? I also like the Cinnamon Dolce syrup in it, and dolce sounds Spanish-o as Jim Bob Duggar-o would say, and Mexicans are Catholics. So am I getting sodomite and Catholic semen? I really need some more direction on this.

[doggie]

I bet see this idiot sneaking into Starbucks just for the house special

[thoughtful]

Now I'm concerned that there is one person assigned to, um, harvest everything. Can you imagine being that guy? I can, and oddly, there seems to be music involved. :wink-kitty:

Attend the tale of one poor sod.

His hand was tired and his eye was odd.

He milked the members of sodomites,

For hours in the daytime, then into the nights.

He made each rod dispense its wad,

Did that poor sod,

The semen squirter of Starbucks.

He kept it up till they went down,

Made fappucinos for our whole town.

And what if none of these guys got humped?

They went to their bagels impeccably pumped.

By that guy,

By that poor sod,

The semen squirter of Starbucks.

Flip your wrist with skill, poor sod,

Hold on, close your eyes.

Freely pull the pud of those who sodomize.

His needs were few, his room was bare.

Some Jergen’s lotion, a comfy chair.

And, if he missed it when they went “pop,â€

An apron, a towel, a pail, and a mop.

For neatness he deserved a nod,

Did that poor sod,

The semen squirter of Starbucks.

And I have to stop there -- not even I can do the part with the rats. :shock:

[bBvideo 560,340:1mw8v1nn]

[/bBvideo]

[salex]

I bet see this idiot sneaking into Starbucks just for the house special

[karupin]

Huh. So it's not salt that makes the flavor on my salted caramel mocha. :whistle:

[doggie]

I wonder how much they pay? may as well get paid for something I do for free usually.

[antwan]

:pink-shock:

[Hane]

Now I'm concerned that there is one person assigned to, um, harvest everything. Can you imagine being that guy? I can, and oddly, there seems to be music involved. :wink-kitty:

OK, now, thoughtful--I have officially now fucking had it with you. I was literally shrieking out loud with laughter before I even got to the third line, and had to run for the john before the end of the first stanza. My face hurts. My chest hurts. My abdomen hurts. My dog thinks I'm having a stroke.

And the worst part is that it's 1:40 AM, I live alone, and have NO ONE with whom to share this genius.

:worship: :worship: :worship:

[FloraKitty35]

David Waller must secretly dream of working at Starbucks.

[thoughtful]

OK, now, thoughtful--I have officially now fucking had it with you.

Ah, this kind of love is what I live for! :lol:

You will understand how annoyed I was that the two syllables of "Starbucks" don't rhyme, like "Fleet Street."

[Hane]

Ah, this kind of love is what I live for! :lol:

You will understand how annoyed I was that the two syllables of "Starbucks" don't rhyme, like "Fleet Street."

Indeed I do. "Starbucks" does rhyme with some other useful words, but they weren't exactly apropos here.

The sainted Allan Sherman is shining his beams of approval down on you.

[freedomjesusfootball]

Dr. Miracles Episode 4: http://youtu.be/SMrrdfOUNxs

He probably saw this and thought it was true.

[PrairieGirl]

I just watched the video. I am stunned that there is a preacher out there who makes our beloved PP look almost sane.

All the same, I'm sticking with brewed black coffee, just to be safe.

Oh please. You know PP will pick up on this and run with it. There is not a sane bone in his body.