The allure of Starbucks - MERGED

[obiterdicta]

A New York pastor has warned that Starbucks coffees are flavoured with the “semen of sodomitesâ€.

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2014/11/05/ny ... sodomites/

I'll take one fappiccino to go, please.

[notsocommon]

YUM!! I'll ask for extra SOS next time I go!

[CallmeChaCha]

The thing that I was not aware of is that… what Starbucks was doing, is they were taking specimens of male semen, and they were putting it in the blends of their lattes.

It’s the absolute truth. They’re using male semen, and putting it into the blends of coffees that they sell.

My suspicion is that they’re getting their semen from sodomites. Semen flavours up the coffee, and makes you thinks you’re having a good time.

Mmmm Starbucks :drool: :soda: :zombie: :morningcoffee:

[tralala]

Health codes be damned, eh? :cray-cray:

[blisterine]

Remind me to stop getting extra foam!

Also, who noticed it tasted like semen? I thought oral sex was forbidden. Was it a man or woman?

The things those crazy fundies do in the name of science!

[thoughtful]

Venti, baby -- venti.

Can we lock this guy in a room with Steven Anderson?

[Lissa1481]

Well no wonder I keep coming back for more.

Mmmmmmm Starbucks......

[MamaJunebug]

Protein! Hey wait -- hasn't Michelle Doogar been photographed plenty of times with Starbucks beverages?!?!?

[ThisOlGirl]

Not just sodomites, but "upscale sodomites". So I'm thinking Starbucks gets their sodomite semen from this guy?

[crazyforkate]

It's the absolute truth, huh? Glad to know that a random blogger has all the answers.

[doggie]

As much coffee as they sell they would need a huge team of donatiors. They would need a assembly line of jerkers. Wonder how much it pays

[ILoveJellybeans]

Hahaha ewwwwwwwww.

[KnittingOwl]

Is that a seasonal flavor or can I get it all year?

[fun2beme]

Ugh - I'm nauseous yet hysterical reading these comments, especially the extra foam one.

*reaching for second cup of coffee*

[Peas n carrots]

Could I get a double shot of Satan's Semen?

[nelliebelle1197]

Could I get a double shot of Satan's Semen?

QUICK! Call XGG and Dsquared!

[Shirley Blest]

I need a Grande White Chocolate Mocha with a shot of sodomites seamen...oh hell make it a double shot! Ya only live once!!

Idiots!

[salex]

The thing that I was not aware of is that… what Starbucks was doing, is they were taking specimens of male semen, and they were putting it in the blends of their lattes.

It’s the absolute truth. They’re using male semen, and putting it into the blends of coffees that they sell.

My suspicion is that they’re getting their semen from sodomites. Semen flavours up the coffee, and makes you thinks you’re having a good time.

Well, at least they are using MALE semen and not that inferior FEMALE semen. :lol:

[Soulhuntress]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Chowder Head]

:roll: ..the stupid...

[gezykah]

:morningcoffee: Who doesn't want to start their day with a venti Sanitorumacchiato?

[thoughtful]

I just have to . . .

I love coffee, with some jizz,

’Cause you know that’s where all the protein is!

Coffee and come and I start to hum,

A cup, a cup, a cup, a cup, a cup, boys!

I love cute guys, sweet and hot

Neil Patrick Harris, you’re a coffee pot!

Shoot me your load and I'll drink “a la mode,â€

A cup, a cup, a cup, a cup, a cup!

Oh, slip me some spunk from your wonderful junk

I'll feel so odd ’til you shoot me your wad.

A spurt of semen and a full one, pull one,

Waiter, waiter, masturbator!

I love coffee, with some spooge

So I can slide to Hell on Satan’s luge

Coffee and seed, that is all I need,

A cup, a cup, a cup, a cup, a cup!

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[Trynn]

So, how does Starbucks order more of it? Who are their suppliers? My friend works there, and I could bother asking, but I'm pretty sure he's never seen "semen" on the order forms.

[thoughtful]

So, how does Starbucks order more of it? Who are their suppliers?

Any of the male baristas who are gay have that as part of their job description, of course. And it isn't easy -- someone even wrote a song of admiration for them, in the noble tradition of Pete Seeger and other labor supporters:

Gay! Gay! Gay!

Your semen stains are helping Satan make his daily gains,

You know he will not forget you!

And so you went and let me blow you, dear!

Your sweet white spunk,

The smell of you in every cup of joe I’ve drunk!

I know when I need caffeine, it must have a squirt from your peen.

You’re one of my kind.

Hey barista, ain't your musty mist now in the grande cup, venti cup?

The way you come and come again!

Hey barista, I don't wanna miss a single cup you do . . .

Tonight.

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[salex]

So, it isn't just Maxwell House that is "good to the last drop"

Although sometimes the guys had to be reminded ....

But, we should have guessed just from the signs in our coffee....