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That Time My Husband Lost His Man Card


usmcmom

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Now that winter has arrived, I've pulled out my favorite brown leather boots. I asked my husband where his shoe shine kit was so I could give them a quick polish. Not only did he bring it out, he said "Put those boots on and let me shine 'em for you." I laughed and told him there was no way I would let him shine my shoes. But he basically said "What's the big deal? I can do it." So I sat on a stool with my feet propped on that little wooden box while he shined my shoes. I giggled the whole time, thinking about how men like Ken and Robert would definitely want to take away his man card for this.

Any other husbands/significant others out there who are at risk of losing their man card?

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Mr. Jerkit cleaned our apartment yesterday. He also packed lunches for today. I chopped all our veggies for the week and he put everything in the fridge (while I played the Tetris theme song from my phone L-O-freaking-L)

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My boyfriend and I have had several discussions where we exchange advice on shaving legs.

I've gotten much better at shaving my knees. I'm not sure if he's taken my advice (shave with the grain in places that tend to get ingrown hairs and shave in the shower after your skin is fully hydrated), but he'd be better off if he did.

He's also vegetarian and typically eats less than I do.

He also has a cat that he adores and sings random little songs about.

The boyfriend lost his man card years ago and has absolutely no desire to get it back. I like him that way. :D

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My husband does all the ironing (mine and his) and has done for over 20 years. He's picky about it and apparently "I don't do it right." I'm good with that. :lol:

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my fiance usually does the cleaning (i am very messy) and we both cook. he also loves my cat (who has also fallen in love with him) and he makes the cutest face when he pets her. he also will not refuse her when she comes around, gives him "the look" and a pitiful meow. butter.

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My hubby is a teacher. He is parenting in the summer and on breaks when I don't have vacation time. Since he is a teacher he also picks the kids up from latch key and daycare majority of the week and starts dinner (usually after calling me to see what we want for dinner).

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Now that winter has arrived, I've pulled out my favorite brown leather boots. I asked my husband where his shoe shine kit was so I could give them a quick polish. Not only did he bring it out, he said "Put those boots on and let me shine 'em for you." I laughed and told him there was no way I would let him shine my shoes. But he basically said "What's the big deal? I can do it." So I sat on a stool with my feet propped on that little wooden box while he shined my shoes. I giggled the whole time, thinking about how men like Ken and Robert would definitely want to take away his man card for this.

Any other husbands/significant others out there who are at risk of losing their man card?

My husband changed his name when we got married.

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My dad makes his and my mom's bed every day. (He's the last one out of it in the morning so fair is fair, right?) And back in the day he decided he would learn to sew. He bought a pattern and for his very first project he made me an awesome school uniform blouse with button holes and a collar and everything (way to leap in at the deep end, dad!)

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OK, FJers, I read these 'lost my man card' posts and keep thinking... "Wait-- doesn't this mean this particular man has earned his Lifetime Titanium Mancard?" Because they are men who have moved past worrying about what other people thing of them or how people like Aman would judge their masculinity to fit their very narrow view of what counts... so far mostly basketball, bull--um wrestling, and being The Boss....

That said, if my husband offered to polish my boots while I was wearing them, I'm pretty sure it would end up being "the shoeshine boy and the executive" .... Just sayin'.....

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My husband changed his name when we got married.

Mine did too! We each too each other's last name. He really confused the people at the Social Security office when he went in and said "I just got married and I need to change my name." It made it that much better that we were in a southern state. The looks he got!

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My husband vacuumed yesterday while I mowed the lawn. After a dinner party, he did all the cleanup while I finished off the wine and read the Sunday paper.

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I think the maddest I have ever been at my mother was when I found out she was saying how "feminine" acting my fiancee' was to family members. Not that I would care if he did act feminine, but I had to ask her why she thought that. It wasn't what she said but the reason why that made me so ticked!

My sweety is a 6'4" former college football player who after graduating from college has lived on his own for the last 17 years. His momma lives in an entirely different state (a foreign concept in my family.....). My mom thought it was just all kinds of girlie that at his house he does dishes, laundry, cleans up, etc. Also, that he makes his own plate and can even take it to the sink at family gatherings. It really irked me that my family views being polite as self sufficient as less than manly behavior.

I really hate that my nephews are being raised to think that they are above doing everyday tasks labeled as "womens work". Then their husbands wonder why the wives all have that bat**** crazy look after 3 kids.....

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Mr. No. loses his man card all the time.

He makes breakfast in the morning. And the coffee. I take a shower and read FJ.

He puts away his clothes after they go through the laundry.

He cleans the bathroom. The first time he did it it took two hours. Wondering why it was taking so long, I walked in and caught him up on a chair cleaning the walls. He had already done the usual stuff. He said "well, you told me to clean the bathroom so I am CLEANING the bathroom!" Qualifies for a major loss of man card, amirite?

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OK, FJers, I read these 'lost my man card' posts and keep thinking... "Wait-- doesn't this mean this particular man has earned his Lifetime Titanium Mancard?" Because they are men who have moved past worrying about what other people thing of them or how people like Aman would judge their masculinity to fit their very narrow view of what counts... so far mostly basketball, bull--um wrestling, and being The Boss....

That said, if my husband offered to polish my boots while I was wearing them, I'm pretty sure it would end up being "the shoeshine boy and the executive" .... Just sayin'.....

I think that's exactly what this means.

Also, :lol: :lol: In the interest of full disclosure, my shoe shine did indeed include a suggestion that I might be naked throughout (a suggestion he makes every time I buy a new pair of boots.) I offered a rain check and instead we celebrated later by "turning the clocks back." :wink-kitty:

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When our babies were tiny, my husband would work M-F, and I got up with the kids at night. On Friday and Saturday nights, he'd take the baby monitor to his side of the bed and get up with them, so I could have two blissful nights of uninterrupted sleep. He has my eternal gratitude for that..

He also cooks, mostly on weekends, does all the grocery shopping, and supports my going away from the manse for scrapbook weekends with friends.

No man card here, either..

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{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:
My husband has children from a prior marriage. The children are all grown now, but when his daughters were very young, one of the girls' favourite pretend games was 'beauty shop'. Mostly this involved putting ribbons and hair ornaments in my husband's hair and painting his nails. He was always quite a sight after one of these sessions. One day he forgot about the hair and nails and took his girls out to play in the park.When I came home from work I asked him what the other people in the park had made about his get up. He pulled himself up to his full height and puffed out his chest (he is 6'5" and very fit and does weights - so he actually is " as big as a house") and said "I pity the fool who makes fun of me". I laugh to think of Ken or the Cabinetman daring to criticize my husband for being willing and happy to play silly games with his children. I can guarantee that Ken/Cabinetman would not criticize a second time.


edited: trying out the hidden function :)
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I think the maddest I have ever been at my mother was when I found out she was saying how "feminine" acting my fiancee' was to family members. Not that I would care if he did act feminine, but I had to ask her why she thought that. It wasn't what she said but the reason why that made me so ticked!

My sweety is a 6'4" former college football player who after graduating from college has lived on his own for the last 17 years. His momma lives in an entirely different state (a foreign concept in my family.....). My mom thought it was just all kinds of girlie that at his house he does dishes, laundry, cleans up, etc. Also, that he makes his own plate and can even take it to the sink at family gatherings. It really irked me that my family views being polite as self sufficient as less than manly behavior.

I really hate that my nephews are being raised to think that they are above doing everyday tasks labeled as "womens work". Then their husbands wonder why the wives all have that bat**** crazy look after 3 kids.....

:wtf: He lives (lived) alone, so who else is going to do the dishes, laundry, etc?? Does your mom think you go over and do it, or are there Housework Fairies involved? (And if there are Housework Fairies, please send a whole team to my house. I'll pay them well.)

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:wtf: He lives (lived) alone, so who else is going to do the dishes, laundry, etc?? Does your mom think you go over and do it, or are there Housework Fairies involved? (And if there are Housework Fairies, please send a whole team to my house. I'll pay them well.)

I know that one ex-bf, who has remained single to this day, would definitely be doing all his housework / clean up and he was the manly man sort of guy.

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You know what, my husband is so manly he created his own damn man card.

Nah, I'm not going to brag on him because I don't want to sound all weird and annoying. But he's what anyone would call a man's man. It's not an act he puts on. It's just who he is. And in spite of his over-the-top, in-your-face maleness, he still has plenty of domestic characteristics. He's happy to help with the dishes, regularly vacuums and sweeps because I hate to, and does laundry. Heck, when our kids were babies, he'd not just change their (cloth!) diapers; he'd even help pick out the fabrics for them. Yeah, my husband, all strappingly sexy 6'4" of him, browsed fabric stores by my side so that we could find the cutest possible prints for our babies to crap in.

Eat that, Cabinet Creep and Kenadoo.

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I think the maddest I have ever been at my mother was when I found out she was saying how "feminine" acting my fiancee' was to family members. Not that I would care if he did act feminine, but I had to ask her why she thought that. It wasn't what she said but the reason why that made me so ticked!

My sweety is a 6'4" former college football player who after graduating from college has lived on his own for the last 17 years. His momma lives in an entirely different state (a foreign concept in my family.....). My mom thought it was just all kinds of girlie that at his house he does dishes, laundry, cleans up, etc. Also, that he makes his own plate and can even take it to the sink at family gatherings. It really irked me that my family views being polite as self sufficient as less than manly behavior.

I really hate that my nephews are being raised to think that they are above doing everyday tasks labeled as "womens work". Then their husbands wonder why the wives all have that bat**** crazy look after 3 kids.....

My MIL is fundy, and thinks that men shouldn't have to make up their own plate. Also, children shouldn't be allowed to make up their own plate. I told my husband years ago, that if he waited for me to make his plate for him, he had a long wait. I guess that kind of back fired on me though. My husband has had a stroke and only has one working arm. I am now happy to make up his plate if I need to, or cut his steak for him.

I remember when my kids were young, but old enough to decide what and how much to put on their plates, we went to a family gathering at my MIL's house. The food was left in the kitchen, and everyone was to file in and make up their plates. Before everyone else got started she told me that I should come in first and make up the kids plates. I told her that they were plenty old enough to decide what they wanted to eat. She didn't like that much. Also, they were good eaters, and weren't going to just pile one item on their plates.

Okay, rant over. But it drives me crazy when men think that they're too good to make up their own plate!

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What?!?! There are people in the US who think men shouldn't (shouldn't have to? or can't?) put their own food on their plates?!?!? :wtf:

(Also I think this is in the wrong sub-forum.)

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I hate to shop most of the time. My husband, on the other hand, loves to shop. I mean, if shopping were an Olympic sport, he could shop for England.

His favorite place to shop is the thrift store. Not only does he find great work clothes for himself there, he also finds more Vera Bradley handbags and vintage Pyrex for me than I do. He can spot an authentic Vera from across the largest Goodwill. :cracking-up:

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In reference to the OP's story about the shoe shining, I think it's interesting to know that to some, that would be a man card-losing situation -- I grew up on a farm, and my dad always wore a lot of western-type clothes and boots. He always spent copious amounts of time shining boots, and shining mine, too! :lol: I always thought of it as a super manly thing, but to each their own, of course!

My husband does a lot of things that might lose him his man card, I guess, but I'm glad he's that way! For one, he's much more organized than me. He's great at organizing stuff in our home...me, not so much. When I'm sick or just tired, he cooks and cleans for me and generally babies me...I don't hate it!

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In reference to the OP's story about the shoe shining, I think it's interesting to know that to some, that would be a man card-losing situation -- I grew up on a farm, and my dad always wore a lot of western-type clothes and boots. He always spent copious amounts of time shining boots, and shining mine, too! :lol: I always thought of it as a super manly thing, but to each their own, of course!

My husband does a lot of things that might lose him his man card, I guess, but I'm glad he's that way! For one, he's much more organized than me. He's great at organizing stuff in our home...me, not so much. When I'm sick or just tired, he cooks and cleans for me and generally babies me...I don't hate it!

My dad shined his shoes a lot and I loved watching him do that particular job when I was a little girl. I think he picked up the habit in the army and always made sure his shoes were shined for work. It's not so much the shoe shining that I thought fundie men would disparage, but the fact that my husband was kneeling in front of me and shining MY shoes while I wore them. I just can't imagine most of the men we talk about on FJ taking on that "servant" attitude for a mere woman.

That's also why I thought it would be okay to put it here - cause it flew in the face of Fundie-dom. I hope the mods will move this thread if they think it belongs elsewhere. I don't know how to (or if I can) move it.

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Speaking as a husband, the *only* way you can ever lose your "Man card" is by worrying about having one. If you ever even think about "If I do (Typical girly thing) I'm less of a man" then you aren't worthy of a man card.

I'll happily put my "manly credentials" up against anyone: I suspect I can find stuff I've done that can "out-man" all the various folks running religious camps focusing on masculinity.

I can also change a diaper faster than 90% of people out there, I'm a pretty good cook, I'll plant flowers all over the yard, I'm trying to learn to knit and I'll hold my wife's purse when she's trying on clothes.

If something is A) interesting or B) needing to be done why on Earth does it matter what sex you are?

/"It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them."

//"But ... you can't HAVE babies!"

///"Don't you oppress me!"

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