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Happy Tool O'Ween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


twin2

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On this, the one year anniversary of what will forever be known as Tool O'Ween, I give you, an LOLDOUG!

 

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Let us take this day to mock into oblivion the biggest tool that ever lived! Post some new LOLs, repost your favorites, dig up his greatest quotes. Go nuts. As I was at work one year ago when all the shit hit the fan, I'm am commemorating today by WFH, so look for LOLs throughout the day.

 

Doug Phillips is a Tool!

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I do not know where to find it, but my favorite LOLDoug was the one of him on the cover of the romance novel gazing adoringly at one of his interns. Happy Tool-O-Ween to everyone.

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This could be it's official greeting. "May the twinkle of wonder be all about you"

I found that vid yano, way back when! *Basking in the highlight of my internet CV*

OOhhh!

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I do not know where to find it, but my favorite LOLDoug was the one of him on the cover of the romance novel gazing adoringly at one of his interns. Happy Tool-O-Ween to everyone.

Ask, and it shall be delivered unto you. Happy Tool O'Ween! :lol:

manlylove.jpg

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MOAR CELLOS!!!

http://vimeo.com/59747748

This is the video that shows Dougie in all his toolish crazy. I can't imagine being in the audience and keeping a straight face, due to either doubling over in laughter or sitting there dropped jawed thinking WTF?

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I can't believe it's been a year! I remember when the shit went down I emailed Twin2, I PMed Twin2... I knew she wouldn't want to miss such a historic occasion, the day all her hard work came to fruition.

:obscene-drinkingcheers: To Twin2! :clap:

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Happy Tool O'Ween to all! And here I am with no fancy costume to commemorate the occasion (kinda like Dougie these days--you know he misses playing dress up!).

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MOAR CELLOS!!!

http://vimeo.com/59747748

This is the video that shows Dougie in all his toolish crazy. I can't imagine being in the audience and keeping a straight face, due to either doubling over in laughter or sitting there dropped jawed thinking WTF?

This video is the one that gets me every time :lol: :lol: :lol:

wKAn5Cy.jpg

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I can't believe it's been a year! I remember when the shit went down I emailed Twin2, I PMed Twin2... I knew she wouldn't want to miss such a historic occasion, the day all her hard work came to fruition.

:obscene-drinkingcheers: To Twin2! :clap:

GOD DAMN THAT FIREWALL AT WORK :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: .

I remember I had a huge project due that day and was stuck at work late. By the time I came home the thread was like on page 20!

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This one, because he did it himself :lol:

Ahh yes, Dougie's pathtic attempt to reclaim "Doug Phillips is a Tool!" from google.

Lest us not forget an FJers take

post-76-14451999597334_thumb.jpg

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GOD DAMN THAT FIREWALL AT WORK :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: .

I remember I had a huge project due that day and was stuck at work late. By the time I came home the thread was like on page 20!

I remember folks asking "where's twin2? She's gotta know about this!"

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This video is the one that gets me every time :lol: :lol: :lol:

wKAn5Cy.jpg

That video actually beats (IMHO and yes, it's possible) another one showing DPIAT in front of the baggage claim in Tel Aviv airport where he does launch into the first bars of "Hava Negila". Not to mention the whole manic manner he was talking. Dude is crazy but above all he is a :music-tool:

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:brain-bleach:

Ask, and it shall be delivered unto you. Happy Tool O'Ween! :lol:

manlylove.jpg

:brain-bleach: this is worse than anything my own imagination could come up with.

So he tried to get DPIAT removed from the interwebz? Please tell

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Happy Tool O'Ween to all! And here I am with no fancy costume to commemorate the occasion (kinda like Dougie these days--you know he misses playing dress up!).

Tis OK. Just engage in an Edwardin tea.

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Sadly, no-one has provided as many LOL meme opportunities since Doug (Phillips, who is a tool). His photos with Bradrick! we're a never-ending inspiration for snark. I'm looking forward to the Doug Phillips (who is a tool) Redemption Tour, which is probably in the works as I type this. There will be cellos, of course.

Happy Tool'O'Ween, FJingers!

Doug Phillips is a tool.

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5829728336_b16cf77ac9.jpg

The 2005 interns:

5992809092_4443617de7_z.jpg

Take me back to the Amazon, Doug!

5352272622_1cf1d50812_z.jpg

Doug's intrepid sailors, with inappropriate shoes:

5345733643_222dde254b_z.jpg

Dougie in Europe:

5531157532_e8148081c8_z.jpg

Doug in Haiti:

6001623377_b412a495ec.jpg

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Ummmm... is it just me or is his package clearly visible in the Tarzan shot?

Ew. Cannot unsee.

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P5jEc.jpg

rIaOm.jpg

cZO2b.jpg

To the tune of Springtime for Hitler:

Vision Forum had some trouble

What a sad, sad story

Needed a new leader to dress up

In Cosplay glory.

Where, oh, where was he?

Where could that man be?

We looked around and then we found

The tool for you and me!

And now it's...

Springtime for Dougie and VF guys!

Interns are happy and gay!

We say "Yes, sir!" when Dougie barks,

Look out, here come the patriarchs!

Springtime for Dougie and VF guys!

Winter for women in pants.

Springtime for Dougie and VF guys!

Come on, Interns,

Go into your dance!

I am Doug, I am a fool, and that is why they call me tool!

Don't be wimpy, driving Hondas, come and hunt for anacondas!

Springtime for Dougie and VF guys!

Manhood is so good once more!

Springtime for Dougie and VF guys!

Watch out, heathens,

We're going on tour!

[bBvideo 560,340:3ooh6f2m]

[/bBvideo]

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I couldn’t help imagining Doug making chocolate milk:

In the course of human events in my domain, the lovely ladies graciously take on all actions to satisfy our gustatory cravings. However, today I found myself with the urge to choclify my burgeoning, bulging buds of taste. None of the ladies was at home, so it fell to me to take personal action.

I did not shirk my duty.

Manfully grasping the handle of the massive stainless steel refrigeration compartment, I pulled, feeling my biceps flex as they do when I perform my 100 (plus!) pushups every dawn.

Inside, coolness enveloped me. A myriad of hues assaulted my vision, but I was not distracted. Straight to my mission, with firm deliberation, I grasped the intricately folded waxed cardboard, like an Origami vessel promising cool, rich joy, that contained magnificent milk of the mooing bovine.

On I marched to the flatware drawer, whence, like a cavalier drawing his sword from its scabbard, I withdrew a slick silver spoon, petite, polished, and poised to do my bidding.

To the cupboard my hazardous mission proceeded, to find that which would cradle my beloved beverage. Which to use? The vessel with the pestle? The flagon with the dragon? The chalice from the palace?

He who hesitates is lost, so I made a swift decision. I bestowed my favor on a vintage glass, one that had held the finest of jellies in the halcyon days of my childhood – a glass festooned with those denizens of Eden known as Fred, Wilma, Barney and Betty.

To yet another of the perfectly polished cabinets I proceeded, quickly seeking the Nesquik nestling twixt the Twix and the Twizzlers. Manfully, I removed the lazily lingering lid, ignoring its foolish resistance to my needs.

And now came the greatest challenge; to delicately, deliberately, dip the spoon, to bring up the petulant puffy powder without losing any to the hungry air, to avoid a shameful cleaning of the counter due to clumsiness.

Deeply the shining metal plunged into the soft, yielding contents, reminding me that from dust we come, and to dust shall we return. My dexterous fingers manipulated my weapon, bringing the rich product of the cacao bush to the surface, just as, no doubt, an intrepid harvester had brought the original beans out from the Dark Continent.

Trembling with anticipation, I drew the spoon closer to the glass, and, gently, caressingly, let the magical brown powder fall, as all mankind is fallen, to the bottom of the glass.

Wasting no time, I seized the milk, and poured it, bubbling, foaming and already tawnily tinged with the color of chocolate, to the brim.

My trusty weapon served me once again, to stir, to mix, to draw me closer to a consummation devoutly to be wished.

Ay, there’s the rub – fool that I am, I forgot that the milk should go in first. I am man enough to admit my error, my sin that has given the enemies of God reason to rejoice. This was heartbreaking to me, but I plunged on.

Stubborn streaks of chocolate clung to the innards of the glass, resisting my command to achieve normativity and become one with the milk. But I defeated them utterly, bringing them to their true purpose, to join with the milk in its mission to satisfy me.

Just then, in a poignant moment of irony, my beloved bride, Beall, arrived home. Settling softly into my favorite masculine easy chair, liquid treat in hand, I called a loving, lilting greeting:

“Hon, the kitchen counter needs to be wiped down!â€

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