Your gut feelings about Ben

[DGayle]

I can't help but get a really weird feeling about Jessa and Ben. He's got the maturity of a kid, no career goals, not even a job that we know of. I get this gut feeling that he's almost being railroaded into this, and Jessa, like a good, trailed little girl-woman, is going along because what can she do? Derek drank the Flavorade, but at least he's got a job and is into Jill. What's up with Ben? At most, I think they seem more like pals, but I don't see any chemistry there. It may be an escape for Jessa, and Ben's letting himself be railroaded because he's about to bag one of the fundy royalty.

[gustava]

:brain-bleach:

[fabkiwi06]

I think Ben is thinking with his and is blinded by the fact that Jessa is a pretty girl. He's 19... not to make excuses for him, but that's what 19 year old boys do. His focus is on what is gonna happen in that bedroom after they get married and not much beyond that.

I don't think he's a bad guy... he's just young and dumb and not ready to take care of himself, let alone a family. They're gonna get a massive smack in the face when that inevitable baby comes.

[BrownieMomma]

He's a lot like Jim Bob at that age. Kind of a loser, not much going for himself, and feeling like King of the World for marrying the head cheerleader/hot fundie princess.

Might Ben be able to platform his 19kac to an actual preaching career?

Plus he gets to be on TV.

[SassyPants]

He's a lot like Jim Bob at that age. Kind of a loser, not much going for himself, and feeling like King of the World for marrying the head cheerleader/hot fundie princess.

Might Ben be able to platform his 19kac to an actual preaching career?

Plus he gets to be on TV.

Preachers have to speak...in public...this kid is decades away from that.

The one advantage JB had was that he did not have a child for close to 4 years. The Seewalds will likely be expecting before Christmas.

The No BC spiel changes everything, unless they remain celibate, which sort of flies in the face of why they're getting married in the first place.

[FloraDoraDolly]

My opinion of Ben is pretty much the same as the others here. He's not a bad person, but he's too damn young and stoopid to even think about getting married. No normal parent would be encouraging this boy to get married at this stage in his life and no normal parent would want his/her daughter marrying someone so immature and unprepared.

[DGayle]

I think Ben is thinking with his and is blinded by the fact that Jessa is a pretty girl. He's 19... not to make excuses for him, but that's what 19 year old boys do. His focus is on what is gonna happen in that bedroom after they get married and not much beyond that.

I don't think he's a bad guy... he's just young and dumb and not ready to take care of himself, let alone a family. They're gonna get a massive smack in the face when that inevitable baby comes.

His immaturity (I don't think he's a bad guy but he's certainly not an adult yet, despite being 19, and a lot of people that age don't yet know what they want to do as a career for the rest of their lives) is part of what gives me such a bad feeling about this. He's not the sort of guy any reasonable parent would be excited about their kid marrying. Maybe later but not right now, not when you know he doesn't have the means to support a wife, much less babies. If I was a parent to a daughter marrying a kid like that, I'd be planning on having to step in financially. Unless JB is planning to do that, effectively taking control away from Ben and not letting Ben be the lordship, Ben and Jessa are pretty well screwed.

So WHY is JB so excited about this wedding too? Why is this such a great event? What is going on behind the scenes that we're not seeing?

[SassyPants]

My opinion of Ben is pretty much the same as the others here. He's not a bad person, but he's too damn young and stoopid to even think about getting married. No normal parent would be encouraging this boy to get married at this stage in his life and no normal parent would want his/her daughter marrying someone so immature and unprepared.

Exactly.

[SassyPants]

His immaturity (I don't think he's a bad guy but he's certainly not an adult yet, despite being 19, and a lot of people that age don't yet know what they want to do as a career for the rest of their lives) is part of what gives me such a bad feeling about this. He's not the sort of guy any reasonable parent would be excited about their kid marrying. Maybe later but not right now, not when you know he doesn't have the means to support a wife, much less babies. If I was a parent to a daughter marrying a kid like that, I'd be planning on having to step in financially. Unless JB is planning to do that, effectively taking control away from Ben and not letting Ben be the lordship, Ben and Jessa are pretty well screwed.

So WHY is JB so excited about this wedding too? Why is this such a great event? What is going on behind the scenes that we're not seeing?

I would not peg the 49yo JB, as a short sighted financial thinker- but it seems all the Seewalds have going for them is TLC and that is JBs money and certainly not a forever, longterm deal.

How does an average person, with little education and no real job experience support a mega family? Or really, any family?

Do they forever kowtow to their FIL?

[Mythicwings]

Ben just seems incredibly unformed to me. He's only 19 and for anyone that is still a yet-to-form age, but he just seems waaaaay younger than that. Can anyone verify that he was in college but JB had him leave when he moved into their guest house? I mean that is astounding!!! :o :o :o !!! Normally it would be like, oh Dad here is my boyfriend and he is in college and hopefully when he gets out and gets a job, we'll get married. But it seems like they are rushing Ben and Jessa to a wedding and it just makes NO SENSE!!! What parent thinks it is better to have their daughter marry someone who would have had a college degree but they got him out of that? I know they do not approve of college but that is frightening and tragic! And he is too emotionally young in the face of who the Duggars are to their world to say differently! Plus his dad seems to be taking advantage of his new Duggar platform and is probably pushing the wedding too. These poor kids! ThereIS such a thing as patience and waiting and growing up!

[BrownieMomma]

Preachers have to speak...in public...this kid is decades away from that.

The one advantage JB had was that he did not have a child for close to 4 years. The Seewalds will likely be expecting before Christmas.

The No BC spiel changes everything, unless they remain celibate, which sort of flies in the face of why they're getting married in the first place.

While you are quite right, I think the way Josh got that position at FRC will also open doors for Ben in certain fundie circles. I can't see Ben being too much of a pastor til later in life, but he could probably get away with being a speaker, even a bad one, just because he will be able to produce a pretty, shiny Duggar wife.

Plus a pregnancy and a baby in short order, a Christmas announcement would not surprise me.

[CorruptionInc.]

Ben just seems incredibly unformed to me. He's only 19 and for anyone that is still a yet-to-form age, but he just seems waaaaay younger than that. Can anyone verify that he was in college but JB had him leave when he moved into their guest house? I mean that is astounding!!! :o :o :o !!! Normally it would be like, oh Dad here is my boyfriend and he is in college and hopefully when he gets out and gets a job, we'll get married. But it seems like they are rushing Ben and Jessa to a wedding and it just makes NO SENSE!!! What parent thinks it is better to have their daughter marry someone who would have had a college degree but they got him out of that? I know they do not approve of college but that is frightening and tragic! And he is too emotionally young in the face of who the Duggars are to their world to say differently! Plus his dad seems to be taking advantage of his new Duggar platform and is probably pushing the wedding too. These poor kids! ThereIS such a thing as patience and waiting and growing up!

Ben can be a tad frustrating at times, but I don't think he's all that bad. Easily manipulated yes, but not bad. He and Jessa have been courting for a large period of time in fundie land; but then golden girl Jill goes and gets a bf, wedding and baby all before they've gotten engaged; so maybe Ben felt inadequate? I think the real problem here is when you're young, you think you know everything, but you don't and that there is so much more to learn! They will go through a big shock when the instant pregnancy happens and even more when baby after baby keep coming.

[SassyPants]

I think JB OK'd Ben because he WAS Ben and it worked out fine for him...however, JB did not factor into the equation that times have changed and most people do not get a lucrative TV contract just for existing.

[lonestarlonghorn]

I was going along, nonchalantly enjoying the Duggar's show, not thinking too deeply about them, just taking them at face value and then Ben pops up and suddenly my whole view of the Duggars changed.

The only reason they are getting married now is because Ben is now getting a paycheck from TLC. Do you think Jim Bob would have said yes if he was taking Ben at face value? No job, no prospects, no money, no college education etc etc? No good parent who has the power to say "no" and have their daughter follow and respect what he says (which so far, they all seem to do) would allow a boy that age and that dumb and unable to form a coherent sentence to marry their precious daughter. I imagine Jim Bob sees him as devout and religious and feels he can mold and control him with enough time and effort. All I can say to that is hahahahahahah!

I absolutely get a bad, bad vibe from Ben. I think he will be possessive and jealous with Jessa. He has no more business having children than the junior high boy down the street. I hope and pray they wait for that but even in 2 years I don't see Ben suddenly getting an intellect or changing into someone I would like my daughter to marry. My husband saw him and heard him for the first time on last night's show and was flabbergasted that they are getting married this Saturday.

It is like my eyes flew open to the Duggars and their way of life once Ben appeared. I wonder if Jim Bob believes everything God sends them will turn out well just because they are good Christians. Bad things do happen to good people and I think Ben is going to be a heartache all around.

[Mythicwings]

One thing I did appreciate is the time that he tried to explain to the kids why they needed to wash pizza grease off their hands before playing video games. Whatever the actual reason he gave was, it still showed him wanting a child under his direction to have some clue of why they were suppose to do something. It was kind. Compared to expecting obedience - because.

[antwan]

He seems like a sweet tool. I do think there's plenty of chemistry, though. Not the kind that'll sustain them in marriage for the long haul, but more of the flame burning all at one time and the fuel running out too soon.

[anjulibai]

My impression is that he's young, stupid and horny, not much different than many if not most 19 year old boys.

He shouldn't be getting married and he is in no way ready to support a family, which JB obviously knows.

I think if he weren't fundie or were just fundie lite, he'd be dating, going to parties and having sex and no where near ready for marriage.

[nst]

Ben is going to grow up pretty fast

:D

[Four is Enough]

Young, dumb, and horny... and now, he's behind the compound walls, with little hope for escape. Unless Jessa comes up with an escape strategy, they'll be there, under Jim Bob's thumb, for quite some time.

[NotAnIncubator]

I have to agree. Young, naive, easily manipulated. He also can't really be moderate. He has to be 100% for something or against something. His extreme Black&White viewpoint worries me...

I've also noticed in 90% of the pictures on Jessa's instagram with Ben, he looked flat out STONED.

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

He reminds me of all the freshman frat pledges from my college days- young and horny and willing to do whatever it takes to look cool. When I saw JB leading him around by the tie at Jill's wedding- oh my!

To me he is a manboy- I just hope that he doesn't freak out once he is expected to take on responsibilities beyond toilet scrubbing and lawn care. Luckily JB will be there to "guide" his every move for the rest of his life. Too bad Blessa's wedding won't have a DJ- I can just imagine JimBob dedicating a song to his new son-in-law.........

"Every breath you take

Every move you make

Every bond you break

Every step you take

I'll be watching you

Every single day

Every word you say

Every game you play

Every night you stay

I'll be watching you

O can't you see

You belong to me" :o

[eh02]

I actually feel sort of bad for Ben. He is obnoxious and hard for me to watch, but I think he's in over his head. I feel a bit more confident that Derick will make it out of the Duggar mess OK. But I'm not as sure Ben can swing it...Jim Bob seems to have a level of respect for Derick as a "fellow man" that he does not have for Ben. He treats Ben like a child still. I think it will be a disaster, though I hope it works out for them.

[nst]

I think he just fell in love and is a bit in over his head and is expecting Jessa to lead him the same way JB led him with the tie - hilarious scene

love them together - he is cute and she is adorable and I can't wait to see it all plays out

i don't support what they think or say out loud but they are cute together and I am shallow about that part only :)

[bluehydrangea]

I think Ben is immature and not particularly intelligent, and I think JB did him and Jessa a major disservice by "blessing" their marriage. I mean, if we are to believe that the whole idea of the authority thing is so that Daddy can choose "God's best" for his daughters, then either he did a terrible job this time or we now have evidence that he allows the girls to have more say in who they court and ultimately marry than we previously thought.

[kimberm]

I see Ben as a goofy but nice kid. He also reminds me of a frat boy but far less confident. I see Jessa wearing the pants in the relationship even though Ben is in "control". Several times she's corrected him and he justs looks sheepish. I also don't see those two ever getting out of the Duggar compound. Ben doesn't seem motivated enough to make a living on his own like his father