Meredith (Alexander) Hammer is pregnant with #3

[amster]

Meredith has changed her Facebook Cover Photo to a picture of her two kids with an announcement that they have another 'pumpkin' coming in May 2015.

Meredith was one of my pet fundies, so I often check her FB page to see what she has updated, along with her mum's blog.

I get a really bad feeling about Stephen, her husband. I just don't know what his deal is.

Anyway, she seems happy and her kids are super cute, so hopefully it's just me being overly cautious.

[yetanothermeg]

Wait, she's already had TWO kids? How old are they? Where are they living now?

[DGayle]

Is this the Meredith whose Rhodes Scholar husband trolled blogs and found her? If this is the same one, that always sent up a red flag for me.

[amster]

Is this the Meredith whose Rhodes Scholar husband trolled blogs and found her? If this is the same one, that always sent up a red flag for me.

The very same.

She has two kids, a little girl named Margaret, and a little boy named (I think) John.

She's changed the privacy settings on some of her older photos, so I can't date exactly when the kids were born. I would say the youngest is a little over a year old?

[MissBitters]

I think her daughter is about 3 now. She was a honeymoon baby. Her husband has been stationed at Fort Bragg, NC for the past few years but another FJer with inside information said he was supposed to start Harvard Law soon. They may be in Massachusetts by the time the baby is born.

[nokidsmom]

Is this the Meredith whose Rhodes Scholar husband trolled blogs and found her? If this is the same one, that always sent up a red flag for me.

I never knew of Meredith until I joined FJ. I always found their courtship story creepy on how her husband found her via her blog. If they had met online, became friends and met each other before courting and getting married, that would be one thing, but he went straight for asking her to court because she met his "criteria" and her reply was "talk to my dad" and it went from there. This guy is smart, has a promising career and really would have had no problem finding someone but that he was looking for a submissive wife who would follow what Daddy told her really has me wondering what's going on with him.

[Hane]

I am creeped out by the fact that he was raised UU and morphed into a right- leaning conservative Presbyterian. I have no doubt that he hand-picked his wife, his new religion, his military career, and now his law school education to give himself a jump start in politics. I'd bet my next paycheck that he has strong Republican ties already.

[copyed]

Someone reported a while back that Meredith had a new blog. Does anyone know how to find it? I find her particularly interesting because she was so well-spoken in her old blog (and I lived near Fort Bragg for a year and have interesting mental images of how she might have fit in in Fayetteville).

[amster]

Someone reported a while back that Meredith had a new blog. Does anyone know how to find it? I find her particularly interesting because she was so well-spoken in her old blog (and I lived near Fort Bragg for a year and have interesting mental images of how she might have fit in in Fayetteville).

I thought the new blog was invite-only. Shame, I really liked Meredith (for a fundie). I think it's because she was ACTUALLY doing what SAHD's are meant to do. She is a wicked cook if her blog was anything to go by. She can sew. She helped raise Sheridan, her little sister. She worked hard around the home and the farm and actually helped her parents business get off the ground and get them out of financial trouble. She made her own jam for her favour jars! She is just a talented, intelligent girl who could have done anything she wanted with her life. Instead, she got cherry-picked by this dude who is just using her to manufacture this perfect life and family to further his political agenda.

Right now, her kids are super cute and they all look happy. But I just wonder what is going to happen in a few years time when Stephen realises that 6 kids under 6 is too much, and Meredith not being educated and not working outside the home is actually working against him? I can just see it all going pear-shaped.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

I thought the new blog was invite-only. Shame, I really liked Meredith (for a fundie). I think it's because she was ACTUALLY doing what SAHD's are meant to do. She is a wicked cook if her blog was anything to go by. She can sew. She helped raise Sheridan, her little sister. She worked hard around the home and the farm and actually helped her parents business get off the ground and get them out of financial trouble. She made her own jam for her favour jars! She is just a talented, intelligent girl who could have done anything she wanted with her life. Instead, she got cherry-picked by this dude who is just using her to manufacture this perfect life and family to further his political agenda.

Right now, her kids are super cute and they all look happy. But I just wonder what is going to happen in a few years time when Stephen realises that 6 kids under 6 is too much, and Meredith not being educated and not working outside the home is actually working against him? I can just see it all going pear-shaped.

I can't argue with your whole post since I only know about Meredith through FJ, and have no real opinion of her husband yet. But I take issue with statements like yours about how she's so talented and smart she could have done anything, but instead..... What that sounds like to me is she could have done anything you think she should have done, but instead maybe she did what she actually wanted to. And since you don't approve, it's not good enough for her. Kinda the opposite of the feminist view that women should be able to CHOOSE how they live their life.

[hoipolloi]

I can't argue with your whole post since I only know about Meredith through FJ, and have no real opinion of her husband yet. But I take issue with statements like yours about how she's so talented and smart she could have done anything, but instead..... What that sounds like to me is she could have done anything you think she should have done, but instead maybe she did what she actually wanted to. And since you don't approve, it's not good enough for her. Kinda the opposite of the feminist view that women should be able to CHOOSE how they live their life.

Seems to me that amster's comments have more to do with Stephen's machinations than Meredith's life goals or -- gasp!! -- feminism. Meredith is probably doing what she wants (and wanted to do); the marriage is a good faith bargain on her part. As for Stephen's part? Not so much, and for the reasons amster & others here have laid out. He's a skeevy operator and nothing epitomizes that like his trolling the internet for a "suitable" wife.

[WonderingInWA]

I didn't know much about her until I learned about her here. I think she is good at crafts and would have made a good wife to anyone, but she was creepily sought out by her husband and her father approved. Her mother seems rather dim (but maybe she's just a really poor writer). I think Stephen has serious political aspirations and he collected Meredith because she didn't have any scars in her past that would later potentially ruin his career. She's squeaky clean, so a good catch on his part.

[DGayle]

I can't argue with your whole post since I only know about Meredith through FJ, and have no real opinion of her husband yet. But I take issue with statements like yours about how she's so talented and smart she could have done anything, but instead..... What that sounds like to me is she could have done anything you think she should have done, but instead maybe she did what she actually wanted to. And since you don't approve, it's not good enough for her. Kinda the opposite of the feminist view that women should be able to CHOOSE how they live their life.

What I got out of this is the concern a lot of us have for fundy daughters who are raised being told that the one and only correct path for any woman wanting to get into heaven is to wait for a husband come along to be his helpmeet and raise his kids. How many of these women would have chosen this path for themselves, versus how many only want it because they're afraid they'll go to hell or otherwise be shunned by everyone they know? I'm sure there are some who'd choose it anyway. There are non-fundies who choose to be at-home mothers (I'm one of them). But how many more want this because they were coerced to want it since the alternatives mean hellfire and damnation? We hear about some former-fundies who managed to escape against all odd (frightening how calling it escaping is so appropriate), yet here is a rare fundy woman with a somewhat decent education and with some real skills that could help her escape. She has more options (as we see them), but instead fell in line and married one of the scariest fundy men.

Seriously, her husband is scarier than PP. He is a conservative with political aspirations who went the path of fundyism by choice, and then literally trolled fundy SAHD blogs until he essentially picked out his bride, and then contacted her family. That is fucking frightening. And since he's a Rhodes Scholar (cha-ching), here you go, take the girl. And then he moved her away from her family and everyone she knows, and is doing what appears to be grooming her and a family to be that good, godly large cutesy family that conservative politicians like to trot out. There's an extra layer of creepy when a single man chooses on his own to go the path of seriously oppressing women, and yet another later when a man trolls blogs for a wife, and a couple layers of scary when a guy like that removed a girl from her family and friends.

Meredith had more tools to get away, and instead she jumped in the deep end, and it appears very much like she did this because it was expected of her. She threw away her opportunities that most fundy girls will never have, and that touches a nerve with some.

[teachergirl]

I know I have stated this before but I just cannot see Meredith "fitting" in with other officer wives....I teach on a major Army post and the officer wives I know are college educated, many with advanced degrees and "older" than the usual Army wife. It is so disturbing the way Stephen "picked" her and now she is doing exactly what she was conditioned to do....Have loads of kids and follow the man's vision.....I also kept help but wonder if the children serve as a needed distraction. Being an Army wife can be very lonely ( speaking from experience)

[amster]

I can't argue with your whole post since I only know about Meredith through FJ, and have no real opinion of her husband yet. But I take issue with statements like yours about how she's so talented and smart she could have done anything, but instead..... What that sounds like to me is she could have done anything you think she should have done, but instead maybe she did what she actually wanted to. And since you don't approve, it's not good enough for her. Kinda the opposite of the feminist view that women should be able to CHOOSE how they live their life.

Way to twist my words around. Who the fuck said anything about her having to do what I approve of? She could be a drug dealer for all I care. All I was commenting on was her potential. Don't know if you noticed, but that is what this site is about - commenting on the lives of complete strangers that we observe from afar via the internet. If Meredith really wanted to be a SAHM&W, then that's great. What I am saying is, she was never really given any other option in life, and the fact that Stephen creepily trolled the internet looking for a woman to fit his mold is what skeezes me out. My post was far more about Stephen than it was about Meredith.

[hoipolloi]

I know I have stated this before but I just cannot see Meredith "fitting" in with other officer wives....I teach on a major Army post and the officer wives I know are college educated, many with advanced degrees and "older" than the usual Army wife. It is so disturbing the way Stephen "picked" her and now she is doing exactly what she was conditioned to do....Have loads of kids and follow the man's vision.....I also kept help but wonder if the children serve as a needed distraction. Being an Army wife can be very lonely ( speaking from experience)

Re: bolded. This is absolutely true and it was true 25 years ago when I worked for the Army as a DA(F)C. It was even true for the enlisted spouses, nearly all of whom *at that time* were pursuing degrees of some sort if they hadn't already completed one. Yes, there may still be a lot of spouses who are only HS grads, especially at the E1/E2, but it's highly unlikely they don't have or won't pursue goals for further education of some sort.

This all makes me think that Stephen found a 1949 copy of The Army Wife and decided that he needed to have a wife who matched its criteria as a component of his master plan for success.

[Vex]

Stephen freaks me out more than any other fundy man. I was never as 'fond' of Meredith as many people were, but she is a smart girl who had a great background and a good head on her shoulders. She could have had any fundy guy if that's what she wanted, but she went along with Stephen.

[fun2beme]

What I got out of this is the concern a lot of us have for fundy daughters who are raised being told that the one and only correct path for any woman wanting to get into heaven is to wait for a husband come along to be his helpmeet and raise his kids. How many of these women would have chosen this path for themselves, versus how many only want it because they're afraid they'll go to hell or otherwise be shunned by everyone they know? I'm sure there are some who'd choose it anyway. There are non-fundies who choose to be at-home mothers (I'm one of them). But how many more want this because they were coerced to want it since the alternatives mean hellfire and damnation? We hear about some former-fundies who managed to escape against all odd (frightening how calling it escaping is so appropriate), yet here is a rare fundy woman with a somewhat decent education and with some real skills that could help her escape. She has more options (as we see them), but instead fell in line and married one of the scariest fundy men.

Seriously, her husband is scarier than PP. He is a conservative with political aspirations who went the path of fundyism by choice, and then literally trolled fundy SAHD blogs until he essentially picked out his bride, and then contacted her family. That is fucking frightening. And since he's a Rhodes Scholar (cha-ching), here you go, take the girl. And then he moved her away from her family and everyone she knows, and is doing what appears to be grooming her and a family to be that good, godly large cutesy family that conservative politicians like to trot out. There's an extra layer of creepy when a single man chooses on his own to go the path of seriously oppressing women, and yet another later when a man trolls blogs for a wife, and a couple layers of scary when a guy like that removed a girl from her family and friends.

Meredith had more tools to get away, and instead she jumped in the deep end, and it appears very much like she did this because it was expected of her. She threw away her opportunities that most fundy girls will never have, and that touches a nerve with some.

I agree. If she wanted to be a SAHW wife, then I'm glad she got what she wanted. Nothing wrong at all with being a SAHW if that's your choice and in all likelihood, she would have ended up in the same situation regardless of who she married. But what bothers me is how he used the internet to find a woman (and I'm not knocking dating sites which is where I met my BF but his borderline cyber-stalking) and his general demeanor. It also rankled me how she immediately handed the matter over to her father like she was resigned to not having control over her life.

At any rate, I hope she's able to use the homemaking skills that she seemed to enjoy and finds happiness in her children.

[nokidsmom]

She would have been a SAHW no matter who she married but agree that how her husband found her online struck me as creepy. Here's an highly educated man, who went from being UU of all things to fundy and went looking for the right fundy wife who would not be his equal in terms of background, education and life experience. That's how it looks to me. He did not want his equal and that says something. As far as his political aspirations, if he wants to appeal to the conservative crowd, having a homeschooled, fundy SAHW will help but I am not sure how Meredith is going to fare as a wife of an elected politician. She would have to attend all sorts of functions and she strikes me as the type who would rather stay home with the kids. But who knows, maybe that's what Stephen wants. She will do what she is programmed to do: obey the headship.

Also, simply turning over the matter to her father: she did what she was programmed to do. Obey the headship. And of course, daddy was not going to say no to someone who is a Rhodes Scholar, a military officer and aspiring lawyer / politician.

I rather like Meredith but feel that in spite of her own accomplishments, in the end she did what she was programmed to do. Obey the headship.

[VodouDoll]

Her dad was the monster who, when the doctor said that another pregnancy would probably kill his wife, still refused to use birth control or abstinence right? Because he was entitled to sex and birth control is a sin, so if Jesus was going to endanger his wife's life then her death would be God's will? Yeah, Meredith never had another option but to marry a hyper-patriarchal creep.