Atheists and the politics of passing

[Blahblah]

Still gob smacked but thanks for your informative posts. It amazes me how embedded all this religious stuff is in American society.

Yes, Aus is a Christian country but we have so many ways to mingle, bond, create a community for ourselves that "going to church" is just one of many. Mostly we have sports clubs, kids' events (sports, music, dancing lessons etc) where parents meet and mingle and everyone has loose "membership" in one or more social circles. And none of them really exclude you from being in any of the others.

Church and footy? Sure. Netball and ballet? Whatever. Don't eat meat and come to band practice? Uh huh. Church or lack of? It just isn't an issue.

i love finding out about everyday life elsewhere esp America. We are so similar in many, many ways but something like this really highlights some fundamental differences.

[browncoatslytherin]

i love finding out about everyday life elsewhere esp America. We are so similar in many, many ways but something like this really highlights some fundamental differences.

i do, too :) there are so many things we take for granted as being the norm. it takes somebody else to give perspective. just goes to show there is no true "norm" anywhere, just different versions of it.

[Mama Mia]

Still gob smacked but thanks for your informative posts. It amazes me how embedded all this religious stuff is in American society.

PARTS of America. Huge and diverse country :)

[CallmeChaCha]

I'm first-generation born in the U.S. The mother country is Mexico and while I can't speak for Mexico itself as I've never lived there, I can speak on the culture and it's very much the same. The religion in my family and most of my culture is Roman Catholic. When I first told my mom years ago that I was atheist, my grandma, who was also present, decided to call me a devil worshipper and told me I was not allowed to say "oh my god" (even though she doesn't speak a lick of English, she knows what that means) because I was not worthy of speaking such things. Even now, 15 years later, my mom still tries to push her religion on me, even though I've reminded her REPEATEDLY that I don't believe and that she needs to respect that just like I respect her freedom of religion. Given my mom's and grandma's behaviors, I no longer tell people in my culture (Mexicans, if you will) that I'm atheist, I only say "I'm not religious" which is true but it's not the whole truth. I definitely don't tell my family members because I assume (maybe wrongly, maybe not) that they would think I'm a bad influence and it would cause problems.

My in-laws insist on giving me a blessing, which consists of them making the cross sign over my face with their hand (I don't know what that's called), and always ask if we went to church on Sunday. I find all of that extremely annoying but I can't bring myself to tell them I'm atheist because I don't think they would accept it and I have a feeling it would cause problems between them and my husband. I also get the feeling that they would "tell on me" so-to-speak and I'd get barraged with questions from all the in-laws about my "religion" and would also get preached at for being "wrong" (this has happened before with other people). There have also been instances where my mom has told me to at least pick a religion, any religion, because I need to believe.

I don't actively pretend to be Catholic but by not fessing up about my beliefs, I guess I am pretending :shrug: .

[Blahblah]

PARTS of America. Huge and diverse country :)

True that!

[NellieBell]

There are also areas where people ask which church you attend, and are horrified if you say you don't. Or who don't understand why a Christmas tree and party is not a secular thing, then later claim that "people who come here should celebrate our holidays." Or where prayer is a given at public events. And where not being Christian means you're evil and/or need to be saved.

I'm a home healthcare nurse in the Midwest ( fairly close to Treemom's brother) and have chosen to lie about my atheism. I have had to deal with Christian agencies plus clients and their families in the home setting and there is only so much skirting around religion I can handle. It's tiring, stressful and I need to focus on the medical care I'm there to provide. Instead of choosing a mega church, I just chose one in my tiny hometown and so far have not run into anyone that goes there. It's disheartening and honestly makes me feel scummy, but it's a battle I can't fight. At least not now.

[NellieBell]

I forgot to add the Brittany Maynard story came up at work and my client's family declared she was "hell bound" and all trust should be left with Jesus. I nearly lost my shit. I had to leave early because I was on the verge of sobbing and then punching them in their gobs. How fucking dare they pass judgment on that incredibly thoughtful, caring young woman? I have not been that fucking close to becoming unhinged in a very, very long time. That's an example of my area's incredibly judgmental Christianity. Yet when their daughter had a baby and never married the father, there was no mention of the bible's stance on children born out of wedlock. Hypocritical assholes! Sorry, rant over. Vodka time!!!

[debrand]

At my husband's last job, the employer started the Christmas party-which included a gambling table and free booze-with a prayer. Everyone was asked to stand and bow their heads. It was awkward and not a situation in which I would be comfortable rocking the boat so I bowed my head. My husband and I often take walks and a man that we had never met, stopped us on the street and asked what church we attended. We told him the name of our local Catholic church. Being Catholic is not much better in some parts of the south then being an atheist but our answer satisfied the man.

The problem is that here in the south, people view atheism as abnormal. There is no way to answer any questions about my lack of faith that wouldn't sound threatening to some of the religious people that I know. Sometimes I say that I am 'undecided' to closer friends. They seem to accept that better than if I claimed to be an atheist.

There are a lot of religious people in the south who seem to accept that their faith is under attack and that colors their reactions. For instance, my sister-in-law's neighbor once very proudly told us that she had put up Christmas decorations at her work. Her employer had put up Hannukah decorations and she felt like she was being brave by putting up the decorations. She very much had a 'so there' attitude. I asked if the employer had told her she couldn't put up decorations and she said he hadn't said that she couldn't. I asked if he said anything about her putting up Christmas decorations or if there were any repercussions and she again said no. When I suggested that it sounded as if he didn't really care what she did, both my sister-in-law and her friend became aggravated with me because I just wouldn't accept that putting up the Christmas decorations was an act of bravery. I can't image how they would have responded if he had put up a picture of the flying spaghetti monster.

[straygoldfish]

I'm from the upper midwest and for a long time, until recently at least, the question wasn't, "What religion are you?" it was, " Are Catholic or Lutheran?" Those were pretty much the only choices and everything else (at least where I'm from) was seen as a little exotic and weird. Religion wasn't discussed in work or school situations because it was assumed that you were one or the other (and if you weren't, you might be Jewish). As I got older I became more aware that there were a LOT of other religious groups around and non-religious people, but that wasn't really until college.