Baby Dilly is a Boy/It's a Boy for the Dillards MERGED

[karen77]

A lot of the stuff snarked on here isn't snarkworthy in the non-fundie world.

I didn't take Derick's comment too patriarchal, I don't know when his father died and what kind of relationship they had but it could be that he's just anticipating having a father-son relationship this time from the other side of the pond and establishing the relationship the way he'd have wanted it back with his dad?!

Jill bringing her buddies with her? So what. She's not as emotionally stunted as her terrible mother. She cares about them and I think it's nice that she still gives them the attention they don't get from their mother. It has been stressed quite a lot that Jill's buddy-team is especially close. Having Jill being away all day and night probably isn't easy for any of them these days.

Plus, he doesn't have any sisters, so he may be a bit nervous about having a girl in general. I know I was about having a boy (no bros or sis)....but we are doing ok so far :)

As for the U/s company....i think it is ok too. We even had a friend pop into ours with #2, but just because she worked there, and it was easy. She spotted it was a boy before anyone else, ha!

[Walking Cat Bed]

I don't honestly understand this myself. The Dillards are making money from TLC and People magazine at this point, why don't they invest in a second vehicle? That way Jill could tool around with her children, err, buddies and not have to worry about being available to pick up Derick from work.

That could be a decision Derek and Jill made on their own; rather than have two vehicles to maintain/gas up, stick with one (more frugal) and schedule Jill's errands and Buddy Adventures when Derek is at work. Derek actually seems to BE frugal and might be saving as much of his paycheck (and whatever they get from TLC/People/etc) for the long term. Hell, he could be building up their "get the hell out of Duggartown" fund so that once the show is over, he can try to get Jill and the kids to leave with him. (Complete speculation on my part.)

[Pretzel]

When the Duggar parents' private little car lot is shown on the show, people get all excited about how ecologically and financially unfriendly and non-frugal that is. When Jill and Derek decide on having one car and schedule their individual errands/activities/work hours so that they can spend time together on the drive, it suddenly would be better if they invested their TLC money in a second car. Derek's neither dumb nor does he appear needy to impress others with luxury and Jill doesn't either. There's a fine line between a fundie falling in disgrace through their stupidity and a fundie acting completely normal but being criticized for just about anything, because they are -generally- a fundie.

[Mecca]

Since we are getting pregnancy updates every two seconds it seems and the Dillard's are treating this pregnancy like a miracle and the second coming, I am thinking they should just name the kid Jesus and call it a day.

[laura oz]

When the Duggar parents' private little car lot is shown on the show, people get all excited about how ecologically and financially unfriendly and non-frugal that is. When Jill and Derek decide on having one car and schedule their individual errands/activities/work hours so that they can spend time together on the drive, it suddenly would be better if they invested their TLC money in a second car. Derek's neither dumb nor does he appear needy to impress others with luxury and Jill doesn't either. There's a fine line between a fundie falling in disgrace through their stupidity and a fundie acting completely normal but being criticized for just about anything, because they are -generally- a fundie.

QFT *starts slow clap*

[Feberin]

Derrick's comments bug me. It's not that he's excited about a boy. My husband was thrilled when we found out we were expecting our son but he never made comments about him being a leader of his siblings. Something just rubs me the wrong way about it.

I feel bad that Jill felt that she needed to bring her buddy team. If she'd brought Jana or Cathy had been there they wouldn't make me feel sad. But the fact that she still feels like she owes it to her buddy team to have them there just makes me feel like she sees them as her children. Also on a side note my son came to all of my daughter's ultrasounds except the first one at 8 weeks. Arranging babysitting isn't the easiest thing for us and my husband wanted to be there with me.

If they are doing one car to be frugal then good for them. However I wonder if they will invest in a second vehicle when they have the baby. Getting up in the morning to drive Derrick to work or pick him up might be difficult if the baby just finally fell asleep after being up most of the night.

[Dandruff]

I wonder whether part of the reason Jill drives him to/from work is because there are women where he works. I'm not saying she doesn't trust him, more that she'd be making herself visible (he's taken).

I see no reason why they couldn't have two or more vehicles. Money really shouldn't be so tight, between his job, the gifts they've gotten, and TLC $$s...and I've no doubt that the Duggars could find them a used car for a good price.

[BeaSnarky]

I wonder whether part of the reason Jill drives him to/from work is because there are women where he works. I'm not saying she doesn't trust him, more that she'd be making herself visible (he's taken).

I see no reason why they couldn't have two or more vehicles. Money really shouldn't be so tight, between his job, the gifts they've gotten, and TLC $$s...and I've no doubt that the Duggars could find them a used car for a good price.

My husband and I are comfortable in our living expenses, and we use one car. It's not all about money - it's about reducing our gas bills, and it makes sense for us. If I were to drive my car to work every day, it would cost me nearly $400 a month in parking. My husband works close by but not in the City where he has to pay to park. So, we use one car. He drives me to work and then goes to his job, and then picks me up (my hours are longer). I agree with the above poster - we'd find some way no matter what to snark on Jill and Derrick about this - if he were driving himself to work with one car, we'd say she's trapped at home with no car. If they had two cars, we bitch about them driving gas guzzlers or being bad on the environment.

Seriously folks - driving your spouse to work is NBD. A lot of couples have ONE car.

[Idolatry]

Derrick's comments bug me. It's not that he's excited about a boy. My husband was thrilled when we found out we were expecting our son but he never made comments about him being a leader of his siblings. Something just rubs me the wrong way about it.

It's also weird because it undermines his headship. Shouldn't he be the leader, not a kid? I mean, leadership would obviously be worse if that kid were a weak female, but regardless, he should be the headship and the leader, right?

[Rescinded and Mended]

When the Duggar parents' private little car lot is shown on the show, people get all excited about how ecologically and financially unfriendly and non-frugal that is. When Jill and Derek decide on having one car and schedule their individual errands/activities/work hours so that they can spend time together on the drive, it suddenly would be better if they invested their TLC money in a second car. Derek's neither dumb nor does he appear needy to impress others with luxury and Jill doesn't either. There's a fine line between a fundie falling in disgrace through their stupidity and a fundie acting completely normal but being criticized for just about anything, because they are -generally- a fundie.

My question about Jill and Derick not having a second vehicle has absolutely nothing to do with their personal fundamentalist leanings.

My concerns lie more with the idea of being independent and in control of one's own schedule. What if an emergency should arise where they might need a second vehicle? I'm sure Jill could call any number of family members for a ride if Derick needed the car for some reason, but it would probably do wonders for her self-esteem if she could have a vehicle that she was in charge of, one that was hers alone, so that she could just get up and go whenever. Jill could have a small vehicle that they could pay for outright out of their TLC and People magazine earnings, and one that could easily be filled up with gas for cheap. I own a small car that will get me 400 miles on half a tank of gas, and it costs me just over $30 to fill it up.

I can see where it would save money to not have a second vehicle, especially if the Dillards are thinking of picking up stakes and doing missionary work in a foreign country once Baby Dilly arrives, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with both spouses in a marriage having two vehicles if finances allow for it.

*I'm assuming the big vehicle we always see Jill in is not specifically hers - I don't know this for sure and am just speculating, but does anyone really think that Jim Bob would let her bring her own car into her marriage? I don't.

ETA - no one has said anything about Jill and Derick getting into a pricey luxury vehicle and showing off. I know people who have done just that, and it has resulted in financial ruin for them. There are smart ways for a family to get into a second vehicle without going bankrupt. That having been said, the Dillards may be doing just fine without the need for a second car - I'm merely speculating.

[DGayle]

"I was really excited," says Derick, 25. "As a new dad, to have a firstborn son to be our first child and be the leader of his siblings, it is very special."

Why, of course. Heaven forbid a firstborn daughter be the leader of her siblings.

So to have a girl first, who would be the default mom to her later siblings, wouldn't be exciting, and wouldn't be special. As the oldest sibling, and a sister, go to hell, Derick.

[bluehydrangea]

I think it's possible that Jill takes Derick to work/picks him up every day just to maximize their time together. I mean, think about it: they haven't been courting/dating/together but a few months. They had zero alone time until after their wedding, and no together time before the wedding until he returned from Nepal. So basically, they've had 3-4 months of true togetherness. I got married 3 weeks before Jill, and had been with my husband for a couple of years before we were married. So I'm rewinding back to the point in time when my husband and I had only been together for 3-4 months. We wanted to be attached to each other all. the. time. Now, it's not really as necessary. But back then, it felt like a major necessity!!! So just saying, they're probably still quite infatuated with each other, so they're probably spending as much time together as humanly possible.

[DGayle]

Derick, is there any way your firstborn son could be anything BUT your first child?

I also did a triple-take at that. "To have our firstborn child be a son" makes more sense than what he did say. Walmart hires the best of the best, y'all.

[toejamflipflop]

I'm glad for Derick that he has a son coming his way. I am sure he has family traditions of his own he will want to pass on to his son and I believe he will. Has anyone noticed that the Duggars are branching out in public more since Derick came into the picture. I had never seen any of them at the Local Schools sports games and racetrack races before but now they have plenty of instagrams that show them at these places. Sure they went to a professional baseball game in Arkansas once on the show but the boys almost seemed out of touch with real manly sports. Now we have Josh watching games on his TV and all the Duggars attending games with Derick. Derick may not be drinking much koolaid but showing them a little of what the world is about since Jboob hasn't done it in the past much with his boys especially.

[AndyActually]

I'm glad for Derick that he has a son coming his way. I am sure he has family traditions of his own he will want to pass on to his son and I believe he will. Has anyone noticed that the Duggars are branching out in public more since Derick came into the picture. I had never seen any of them at the Local Schools sports games and racetrack races before but now they have plenty of instagrams that show them at these places. Sure they went to a professional baseball game in Arkansas once on the show but the boys almost seemed out of touch with real manly sports. Now we have Josh watching games on his TV and all the Duggars attending games with Derick. Derick may not be drinking much koolaid but showing them a little of what the world is about since Jboob hasn't done it in the past much with his boys especially.

They've always gone to Razorbacks games and to the demolition derby. Just now they are on facebook, instagram, etc they are more inclined to share it. That's the power of social media, which they've never participated in until now. They've always gone out in public, very little chance that they're doing it now just because Derick is in the family. If anything he (and Ben) are the ones now being invited along.

[thenewclassic]

I also did a triple-take at that. "To have our firstborn child be a son" makes more sense than what he did say. Walmart hires the best of the best, y'all.

At one point he also said something like "We got engaged and now it's crazy we're getting married." Derick, isn't that usually what happens when you get engaged?

[Mela99]

At one point he also said something like "We got engaged and now it's crazy we're getting married." Derick, isn't that usually what happens when you get engaged?

Well, in his defense, maybe he had a different timeline in his head about getting engaged and then married. *Most* of us didn't just RIGHT into the planning to keep from having sex....

[DGayle]

For once I think people are over analyzing. What Derrick said did not strike me as he sees women as second class citizens-I see it more as him thinking of the stereotypical brother role who will protect his little siblings. Kind of like when my sister said she hopes she has a boy so her son will have someone to roughhouse with. Stereotypical,yes,but offensive,no.

They've assigned their baby a job, and the baby hasn't even been born yet.

Know what's offensive? The idea that a boy is meant to lead, and a girl is meant to follow, or to be maternal, that boys can roughhouse, but girls are supposed to be demure.

As the firstborn in my family, I didn't take care of my brother in any way he didn't take care of me. I didn't lead him in any way he didn't lead me. We played with Barbies and Ninja Turtles together, and roughhoused, and hit each other sometimes because we were typical siblings who fought and sometimes slapped. Regardless of who was born first, we protected each other, and there was some very serious shit that went down in our house. One night when the police banged on the windows calling his name, which happened to be the same name as our dad, telling him he needed to come out, it didn't matter that I was the girl. I protected my brother because he was scared and needed someone to help him. The police were looking for our dad, by the way.

What we had between our legs didn't matter. We lead each other when one needed guidance, and took care of each other. The order of birth didn't matter. The younger can protect an older, and an older can take direction when needed from a younger.

So yes, the idea that a boy should be first because he needs to be given the job or protector, since a younger boy apparently can't do it, and the idea that a firstborn being a girl means she can't be protective or lead, is terribly offensive. It's socking kids in gender roles, no matter how you try to explain it away.

[DGayle]

It's typical fundie language, and the fact that Derick spewed it says a lot about how deep he's gone down the rabbit hole.

I hope he's prepared to accept the eventuality of one day having a dozen kids to support on a Walmart salary. The gravy train won't go on forever.

[DGayle]

A lot of the stuff snarked on here isn't snarkworthy in the non-fundie world.

I didn't take Derick's comment too patriarchal, I don't know when his father died and what kind of relationship they had but it could be that he's just anticipating having a father-son relationship this time from the other side of the pond and establishing the relationship the way he'd have wanted it back with his dad?!

Jill bringing her buddies with her? So what. She's not as emotionally stunted as her terrible mother. She cares about them and I think it's nice that she still gives them the attention they don't get from their mother. It has been stressed quite a lot that Jill's buddy-team is especially close. Having Jill being away all day and night probably isn't easy for any of them these days.

#1: Derrick's comment about being excited for a son wouldn't be anything snarkworthy if it ended at that. Instead he went on with the fundy-speak about firstborn son being the special thing and how the son is going to be the leader.

#2: If Jill had a normal childhood with her siblings, and naturally grew close to a few, that wouldn't be a big deal. The deal here though is her children-buddies see her as their mother, and she sees them as her children, because they were all basically abandoned by their mom, and so all they had was each other. Their closeness is genuine now, but it was a forced relationship. How well do you think Jill knows the kids who she didn't raise? How well do you think those kids know Michelle? Who do they go to when they need someone to confide in? The closeness wasn't naturally-occurring. It was survival among kids who get dumped at 6 months old like a rite of passage so the baby factory and foreman can get back to work making another.

[karen77]

So Jill and Derrick were on Fox and Friends today.... I wonder if that is the first time Jill's been to NYC without the whole clan..might be refreshing!

[Peas n carrots]

1) Jill certainly looks further along than 4 months, especially for someone's first pregnancy. It doesn't look like it's due to hitting the fridge too much either. I mean, yeah she's dressing to emphasize the bump, but that bump is huge for where she supposedly is in gestation. I'm really starting to wonder if they won't be having a healthy preemie...

2) I don't get the two car thing. I work closely with execs at my company, and many of them have only one vehicle. Granted, we live in an urban area and have public transit to rely upon (whereas Jillard doesn't) but I actually think they are far more sensible than Josh and Anna's and their hummer monstrosity.

[JellyHope]

So Jill and Derrick were on Fox and Friends today.... I wonder if that is the first time Jill's been to NYC without the whole clan..might be refreshing!

A broadway show, Cinderella! With dancing & secular music! Good for them.

[Coco]

1) Jill certainly looks further along than 4 months, especially for someone's first pregnancy. It doesn't look like it's due to hitting the fridge too much either. I mean, yeah she's dressing to emphasize the bump, but that bump is huge for where she supposedly is in gestation. I'm really starting to wonder if they won't be having a healthy preemie...

2) I don't get the two car thing. I work closely with execs at my company, and many of them have only one vehicle. Granted, we live in an urban area and have public transit to rely upon (whereas Jillard doesn't) but I actually think they are far more sensible than Josh and Anna's and their hummer monstrosity.

Josh and Anna have a Hummer? Seriously? :lol: Couldn't find a photo, do you have one?

Suprised/not surprised.

Gas hog = republicans! drill baby drill!

End times = survival vehicle

Car lot = maybe he got it cheap

But just, that's funny.

[iknowright]

I think Derrick using the term 'firstborn son" is very telling. That is definitely fundie talk. He grew up evangelical but NOT fundie. Did someone mention that Jill and Derrick got premarital counseling from JimBob? Why would they not have premarital counseling with a real pastor who has been to seminary and all or a real marriage counselor? What qualifies JimBob to do this? Isn't it a conflict of interest?

I don't know, but it seems the more I read about the history of Jill and Derrick's relationship, the more it seems he has been brainwashed or indoctrinated to the Duggars/fundieland.