Jessa and Bin getting married is really bothering me

[It'sFunToRun]

Jessa wouldn't let him.

I really want one of those! Is it pajamas? That's so fucking awesome.

I think this is the first time I've seen the Duggars do something and wanted to emulate it :lol:

[CaroMoon]

I don't know how to adequately express how much this is bothering me. They are both so young and immature. Neither of them is very bright. There is such a thing as being young and wise beyond your years, but these two don't have that. I honestly hate the thought of them getting married and having children. As a mom, the thought of babies having these 2 people as their parents makes me very upset.

I think Ben is trying hard to be nice to Jessa and her family. Yes, he is a total doofus with hardly 2 brain cells to rub together, but I like the fact that he is a team player and puts up with her crazy family for the sake of being with her. We should all be so lucky. He's not allowed to touch her, not allowed to be alone with her, not allowed to send her a private text message. I don't know any guys who would stick around for that. But they don't have any business getting married. I am really shocked that nobody has tried to intervene.

I literally made an account to tell you how spot on you are. It literally makes me anxious seeing all of this go down and just waiting for all the pain and hurt to come. They are so not right in getting married. I understand purity, sure for them, for religion... but they get this marriage thing entirely wrong. They're always saying how it's not about sex... BUT IT LITERALLY IS. All they talk about is sex! They've essentially admitted that they're getting married for sex. I really am worried to see how this turns out too. You're spot on. Thankful more people are feeling so bugged by this too :snooty:

[Jessica]

I think Ben is trying hard to be nice to Jessa and her family. Yes, he is a total doofus with hardly 2 brain cells to rub together, but I like the fact that he is a team player and puts up with her crazy family for the sake of being with her. We should all be so lucky. He's not allowed to touch her, not allowed to be alone with her, not allowed to send her a private text message. I don't know any guys who would stick around for that. But they don't have any business getting married. I am really shocked that nobody has tried to intervene.

I know a guy like that. he's my ex-husband. He was really nice and likeable when we were dating and engaged, then after the fun of guilt-free church-approved sex wore off, so did the niceness.

[pega127]

http://duggars.tumblr.com/post/100769780470/duggarbatesfan-ben-posted-this-photo-of-himself#post-notes

Ben's tuxedo

Another stupid moment.

[Coco]

Another stupid moment.

:lol:

the groom wore a fitted tee.

[CorruptionInc.]

:lol:

[attachment=0]Capture.JPG[/attachment]

the groom wore a fitted tee.

I gotta admit it's a cool tee!

[nst]

I gotta admit it's a cool tee!

can someone tell him to shave for the wedding lol

[BrownieMomma]

Another stupid moment.

It's a joke.

[Rebelwife]

Meatloaf's "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/meatloaf/paradisebythedashboardlight.html" reminds me of the Benessa relationship. Especially the last few verses:

I couldn't take it any longer

Lord I was crazed

And when the feeling came upon me

Like a tidal wave

I started swearing to my god

And on my mother's grave

That I would love you to the end of time

I swore I would love you to the end of time

So now I'm praying for the end of time

To hurry up and arrive

'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you

I don't think that I can really survive

I'll never break my promise or forget my vow

But God only knows what I can do right now

I'm praying for the end of time

So I can end my time with you

OMG, that's perfect! :clap:

[Mythicwings]

This is what upsets me the most. I see her becoming a very unhappy woman as she grows older. She's going to look back and realize she could have married a much better match for her.

I see Jill and Derrick doing something off the beaten path (like becoming missionaries) that works for them. Plus, they just seem so well suited. She's annoying w/ her constant interrupting, but he seems to roll w/ it. Derrick is not a controlling person so we may see Jill blossom into her true self. Hopefully, she'll steer some of the younger Duggar girls into the right direction.

Yes - hoping Jessa and the other girls still will see Jill as some kind of guidance system. She is so sweet and realistic and honest and open and like some of you have said,I get a sense that they'll be missionaries or something else less home-bound and her horizons will expand greatly.

Jessa - I have always been a bit worried for whoever Jessa marries because she seems like such a ball buster! Ben doesn't seem at all intimidated by her which I find amazing but, maybe they have a dynamic that will work. But I really really never ever saw Jessa as wanting lots of babies like she is saying now. I just can't see it! If she likes kids that sure has been kept hidden! She's scary! :lol: Who is in her buddy group?

[CrazyMumma]

Just to throw out a different opinion... I actually really, REALLY hate authoritarian parenting... ie WASH YOUR HANDS COZ I SAID SO! I felt Jessa comes from a home where you do what you're told because you're told... I much prefered Ben's comments at the pizza place, it was far respectful and gave them a reason why it was important to wash their hands rather then a stupid 'you're gross if you don't!"

Even though my daughter is only a two year old, I am trying to teach her the reasons behind at least some of my rules. From the picture I'm getting from the Quiverful movement and fundies is control... Jessa's behaviour with the kids seems to me to be very patronizing and rude to the kids. I had an older sister that made me do what she wanted because she said so....... I haven't forgotten and those kids won't forget either.

[DarkAnts]

Ben needs to age for a few years like a good bottle of wine.

[SassyPants]

Just to throw out a different opinion... I actually really, REALLY hate authoritarian parenting... ie WASH YOUR HANDS COZ I SAID SO! I felt Jessa comes from a home where you do what you're told because you're told... I much prefered Ben's comments at the pizza place, it was far respectful and gave them a reason why it was important to wash their hands rather then a stupid 'you're gross if you don't!"

Even though my daughter is only a two year old, I am trying to teach her the reasons behind at least some of my rules. From the picture I'm getting from the Quiverful movement and fundies is control... Jessa's behaviour with the kids seems to me to be very patronizing and rude to the kids. I had an older sister that made me do what she wanted because she said so....... I haven't forgotten and those kids won't forget either.

"Immediate or Instant Obedience" is what I've heard them say.

Telling them why involves teaching and guiding them; showing them how to use if/then critical thinking.

[It'sFunToRun]

"Immediate or Instant Obedience" is what I've heard them say.

Telling them why involves teaching and guiding them; showing them how to use if/then critical thinking.

I think "it's gross" is the actual reason that you should wash greasy hands before touching public property. Jessa didn't say "do it because I said so".

[lascuba]

I know a guy like that. he's my ex-husband. He was really nice and likeable when we were dating and engaged, then after the fun of guilt-free church-approved sex wore off, so did the niceness.

My impression of Ben from almost the beginning is that he's the type who will become abusive once the honeymoon is over. He just gives off that vibe to me. Like, why be so over-the-top traditionally romantic with a girl who isn't into that stuff at all? Guys who do that don't see women as actual human beings, they just have a super generic idea of what "female" means and go with that. Once the day-to-day realities of married life hit and her realizes that Jessa is actually a person separate from him Ben is not going to take it well.

(Full disclosure: I think ANY man who chooses that lifestyle--who becomes MORE religious and into Christian patriarchy than they were growing up--have a high likelihood of being abusers. There's not other reason for a man to find that life appealing other than he's a controlling asshole who wants a good little woman catering to his needs. So for all the love Derrick gets around here, I look at him with a very jaundiced eye.)

[BrownieMomma]

"Immediate or Instant Obedience" is what I've heard them say.

Telling them why involves teaching and guiding them; showing them how to use if/then critical thinking.

First time, cheerful obedience.

[FreeHannie!]

Ben needs to age for a few years like a good bottle of wine.

In a few years, he can be a hot divorcee looking for a rebound....

[Mythicwings]

My impression of Ben from almost the beginning is that he's the type who will become abusive once the honeymoon is over. He just gives off that vibe to me. Like, why be so over-the-top traditionally romantic with a girl who isn't into that stuff at all? Guys who do that don't see women as actual human beings, they just have a super generic idea of what "female" means and go with that. Once the day-to-day realities of married life hit and her realizes that Jessa is actually a person separate from him Ben is not going to take it well.

(Full disclosure: I think ANY man who chooses that lifestyle--who becomes MORE religious and into Christian patriarchy than they were growing up--have a high likelihood of being abusers. There's not other reason for a man to find that life appealing other than he's a controlling asshole who wants a good little woman catering to his needs. So for all the love Derrick gets around here, I look at him with a very jaundiced eye.)

yes!! yes yes - I so hope these guys stay good to them but I have just also been very worried about abuse starting from being on their high throne. And they CHOOSE to accept that role? Just - worrisome.

[Four is Enough]

In a few years, he can be a hot divorcee looking for a rebound....

Hot or not, he'll still be stupid. Can't deal with stupid.

[FreeHannie!]

Hot or not, he'll still be stupid. Can't deal with stupid.

I'm sure there will be some girl who doesn't mind. You don't need a brain in the boy's skull for a one night stand ;)

[Toothfairy]

According to the Duggar Family Blog website, Ben & Jessa are taking a break from wedding prep & are on the FRCA bus tour with Josh & Anna and other Duggars. Unbelievable! With less than a week til the wedding, you would think there are still things to do. According to the schedule, Thursday looks like the last day of the tour. In one of the pictures, there are campaign stickers on Ben's back. Very mature looking for the groom to be.

[uber frau]

In a few years, he can be a hot divorcee looking for a rebound....

The thing is, you need decent wine for it to age well. The lousy stuff just turns straight to vinegar.

[Mama Mia]

According to the Duggar Family Blog website, Ben & Jessa are taking a break from wedding prep & are on the FRCA bus tour with Josh & Anna and other Duggars. Unbelievable! With less than a week til the wedding, you would think there are still things to do. According to the schedule, Thursday looks like the last day of the tour. In one of the pictures, there are campaign stickers on Ben's back. Very mature looking for the groom to be.

Maybe she's really sincere when she says she just really doesn't care about all the wedding hype.

I've been thinking about it, and like most people, I always kind of had Jessa pegged as the most materialistic, glamorous ( such as it is in their world) , possibly shallow Duggar girl. The one most likely to care about fashion and make up and a big ring and lots of show.

But I realized I'm actually just stereotyping her based on her looks. She's gorgeous. And she doesn't smile constantly. So she gives off that typical teen movie, prom queen, mean girl vibe. But that doesn't mean that's at all what her actual personality is.

Yeah, she wears the most stylish clothes out of the four of them, and spends some time on hair and make up. But for all we know it takes her 5 minutes to look pulled together. And she just really doesn't care about the things I've assumed she cares about.

[SassyPants]

Or maybe privacy is the most important element of Jessa's life.

If so, good for her.

[BrownieMomma]

According to the Duggar Family Blog website, Ben & Jessa are taking a break from wedding prep & are on the FRCA bus tour with Josh & Anna and other Duggars. Unbelievable! With less than a week til the wedding, you would think there are still things to do. According to the schedule, Thursday looks like the last day of the tour. In one of the pictures, there are campaign stickers on Ben's back. Very mature looking for the groom to be.

Honestly tho, isn't wedding prep all they are doing? Jessa doesn't work and Ben "works" for Jim Bob. Wedding prep is all they really have to spend their time doing, maybe they are just pretty much done and can take off for this ridiculous tour.