Jessa and Bin getting married is really bothering me

[CaptainFunderpants]

Ugh, that happened to me when my aunt bought me clothes for a gift at a shop where I hate the clothes. Could only swap them for other clothes there or a gift card, so I was stuck with a gift card to a shop where I don't want any of their stuff.

Pay to round it up to the nearest $5 or $10 mark (or if it's a lot, split it into a couple of gift cards) and then re-gift it.

[JHeathen]

Pay to round it up to the nearest $5 or $10 mark (or if it's a lot, split it into a couple of gift cards) and then re-gift it.

There are websites dedicated to trading gift cards...SOMEONE on the Internet must shop there...Google "trade hit cards," and sites come up like

Giftcardzen.com, cardpool.com, giftcards.com......

[Four is Enough]

I'm struck by the "leave it up to God" remark. I know we've heard it before, but "leaving it up to God" is vastly different than

charting ovulation

keeping massive charts

obsessively taking pregnancy tests

visiting fertility specialists to see if you can squeeze another out, even though you're nearing fifty and/or your last kid is only 6 months old

etc., etc., etc.

Leaving it up to God, to me, means, "if she gets pregnant, she gets pregnant" and blithely ignoring "fertile times" or "non-fertile times."

[browncoatslytherin]

I'm struck by the "leave it up to God" remark. I know we've heard it before, but "leaving it up to God" is vastly different than

charting ovulation

keeping massive charts

obsessively taking pregnancy tests

visiting fertility specialists to see if you can squeeze another out, even though you're nearing fifty and/or your last kid is only 6 months old

etc., etc., etc.

Leaving it up to God, to me, means, "if she gets pregnant, she gets pregnant" and blithely ignoring "fertile times" or "non-fertile times."

precisely. it's not "trying and trying and trying" after each baby to "catch" another baby, it's just going with the flow and seeing what happens.

i think i've brought this up before, too, but honestly, even if some sort of contraception is used, if it's god's will they get pregnant, wouldn't he be able to overcome that obstacle? is their powerful god that they depend on for eternal salvation really undone by pills, patches, rings, or injections of hormones, or condoms, or diaphragms, etc.? that doesn't sound like an all-powerful god to me...

[Mama Mia]

precisely. it's not "trying and trying and trying" after each baby to "catch" another baby, it's just going with the flow and seeing what happens.

i think i've brought this up before, too, but honestly, even if some sort of contraception is used, if it's god's will they get pregnant, wouldn't he be able to overcome that obstacle? is their powerful god that they depend on for eternal salvation really undone by pills, patches, rings, or injections of hormones, or condoms, or diaphragms, etc.? that doesn't sound like an all-powerful god to me...

Well it's certainly been my personal experience that God most definitely considers various forms of birth control to be minor annoyances that are completely I irrelevant if he really wants you pregnant. Of course the tone of voice when calling out to God on discovery of said unexpected blessing might be somewhat lacking......."Oh My God, how did this's happen?!?!" :whistle:

[It'sFunToRun]

IIRC, one of the Duggar kids (maybe Jessa?) talked about how it was really unusual to put the “leaving it up to God†spiel in Josh and Anna's vows and the impression I got was that even the Duggars thought that part was pretty weird and not something they expected. I think that was just something Anna and her family insisted on including. I would be surprised if the vows for Derick/Jill and Jessa/Ben contained similar wording.

Maybe Josh had hinted that he was open to "not leaving it entirely up to Dog", so Anna's parents insisted that it be in the vows that it will be up to dog.

[Hooligan]

Meh I am betting Jessa announces her pregnancy before Christmas.

[CorruptionInc.]

Meh I am betting Jessa announces her pregnancy before Christmas.

:? This worries everyone here on FJ.

[nst]

doesn't worry me - I expect it

especially after Jill

[MoonFace]

Maybe she's just wants to get married to get the hell out of that mad house? :twisted:

Get an itch scratched ?

[MoonFace]

If Ben doesn't do better in the bedroom than he does at mini golf we don't have to worry about Jessa getting pregnant - EVER

[SassyPants]

If Ben doesn't do better in the bedroom than he does at mini golf we don't have to worry about Jessa getting pregnant - EVER

I hate being negative Nancy, but has Ben shown us that he does anything well? He does like little kids because he is one. I feel sorry for him. He's not educated, barely knows the right side of a hammer and verbally, he can not express a clear and concise thought.

Does he write well?

What's his strength?

[actuallyjessica]

If Ben doesn't do better in the bedroom than he does at mini golf we don't have to worry about Jessa getting pregnant - EVER

hahaha, i don't think he'll have any problems getting his ball(s) near THAT hole.

[VelociRapture]

Anyone up for a rousing game of, "Which Duggars will be Courting/Engaged/Married/Pregnant/or Parents before VelociRaptor gets married November 7, 2015?"

My personal picks:

Courting - Jana and one of the older boys

Engaged - Possibly JD, possibly Jana

Married - Josh, Jill, and Jessa

Pregnant - Anna and Jessa

Parents - Obviously the Dills and Smuggars

Side note: Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster, for the love of meatballs please don't let Jessa get pregnant immediately. If not for my sake than for the sake of the poor child that would be born.

And bonus round:

Which Duggar is most likely to break free?

- None of them.

Which Duggar is most likely to lose it completely?

- Michelle. Definitely Michelle. She'll completely snap after Baby Dilly arrives and insist on carrying around a loaf of bread wrapped in a blanket so she can claim she has a newborn too.

[acat7]

I'm worried about their marriage too, but oddly- I disagree with most sentiments here that Ben's this huge douche. Funny I know since I'm the one who started the BenBob social media thread.

I think he is just really immature, insecure and uncomfortable most of the time and that's why he stutters/ has poor responses to questions. I also think that he and Jessa's extremism is an outlet for them. It makes them feel educated and I think they fancy themselves intellectuals- and theyre doing their best with the education they have. I think Ben's writing is actually decent- but reading his dad's pieces, I can see why. Again, don't agree with the content but as far as sentence structure, thesis and supporting points, etc- Ben had a good role model. I could never see Jim Bob writing that way.

I think Jessa finds the Seewalds to be more polished and that attracts her. The girl clearly wants to be glamorous and I think she gets easily embarrassed by her family.

I'd bet that out of everyone, Jessa is the most upset that they aren't moving to Hot Springs. Poor girl found a guy far away and then got cheated.

[SassyPants]

I'm worried about their marriage too, but oddly- I disagree with most sentiments here that Ben's this huge douche. Funny I know since I'm the one who started the BenBob social media thread.

I think he is just really immature, insecure and uncomfortable most of the time and that's why he stutters/ has poor responses to questions. I also think that he and Jessa's extremism is an outlet for them. It makes them feel educated and I think they fancy themselves intellectuals- and theyre doing their best with the education they have. I think Ben's writing is actually decent- but reading his dad's pieces, I can see why. Again, don't agree with the content but as far as sentence structure, thesis and supporting points, etc- Ben had a good role model. I could never see Jim Bob writing that way.

I think Jessa finds the Seewalds to be more polished and that attracts her. The girl clearly wants to be glamorous and I think she gets easily embarrassed by her family.

I'd bet that out of everyone, Jessa is the most upset that they aren't moving to Hot Springs. Poor girl found a guy far away and then got cheated.

At least the Seewalds instilled confidence in Ben that he could move away and start a family. I wonder if they did the same for their daughters? Above the waist,those Duggars have been led to believe that they have nothing to give. What a horrible deficiency.

[nst]

I'm worried about their marriage too, but oddly- I disagree with most sentiments here that Ben's this huge douche. Funny I know since I'm the one who started the BenBob social media thread.

I think he is just really immature, insecure and uncomfortable most of the time and that's why he stutters/ has poor responses to questions. I also think that he and Jessa's extremism is an outlet for them. It makes them feel educated and I think they fancy themselves intellectuals- and theyre doing their best with the education they have. I think Ben's writing is actually decent- but reading his dad's pieces, I can see why. Again, don't agree with the content but as far as sentence structure, thesis and supporting points, etc- Ben had a good role model. I could never see Jim Bob writing that way.

I think Jessa finds the Seewalds to be more polished and that attracts her. The girl clearly wants to be glamorous and I think she gets easily embarrassed by her family.

I'd bet that out of everyone, Jessa is the most upset that they aren't moving to Hot Springs. Poor girl found a guy far away and then got cheated.

I really like what you just posted - agree with what you said about Ben being insecure and uncomfortable as well as Jessa loving the Seewalds because how polished they appear.

[jingerdoe]

Jessa being embarrassed by her family - they also pick on her a lot more. Can you imagine JB pestering Jill with the same kinds of "are you in the fold no really do I have to send you to the prayer closet" type questions that Jessa gets?

[AndyActually]

I don't think the Seewalds are more polished per se, but extreme beliefs aside, they do seem more "normal" in comparison to the Duggars? Ben's immediate female family seems to wear skirts only around the Duggars, the rest of the time they wear pants. The women wear jeans, tanks, & heels. The kids are allowed to go out with their friends without chaperones. His sister Jessica currently has a job, his aunts all work for the most part (one appears to be a Hairstylist, the other runs a boutique, etc). The women appear to love clothes and makeup just like Jessa does.

It does seem like that if Jessa could move to Hot Springs to be closer to them, she would fit right in and probably love being with them. The whole family seems to really like her. Instead she's stuck with her family for the long haul now.

[VelociRapture]

I'm worried about their marriage too, but oddly- I disagree with most sentiments here that Ben's this huge douche. Funny I know since I'm the one who started the BenBob social media thread.

I think he is just really immature, insecure and uncomfortable most of the time and that's why he stutters/ has poor responses to questions. I also think that he and Jessa's extremism is an outlet for them. It makes them feel educated and I think they fancy themselves intellectuals- and theyre doing their best with the education they have. I think Ben's writing is actually decent- but reading his dad's pieces, I can see why. Again, don't agree with the content but as far as sentence structure, thesis and supporting points, etc- Ben had a good role model. I could never see Jim Bob writing that way.

I think Jessa finds the Seewalds to be more polished and that attracts her. The girl clearly wants to be glamorous and I think she gets easily embarrassed by her family.

I'd bet that out of everyone, Jessa is the most upset that they aren't moving to Hot Springs. Poor girl found a guy far away and then got cheated.

I think you made some really good points. When it comes to his beliefs and his choice to express them publicly the yes, I do believe he is extremely immature - just like most people his age. Tons of 19 year-olds spout their personal beliefs all over the internet. BenBob only looks like a douche because: a) his facts are plain wrong and b) he has a national audience listening now.

The fact that he stutters, seems rather nervous on camera, and writes using flowery language? Doesn't make him look like a douche in my opinion. It just drives home the point that he is a young kid who has been shoved head first into the world of reality TV. He may have wanted this, but it doesn't mean the adjustment is easy for him.

As for Jessa, I honestly believe that she and Ben are a good match for one another. They seem to get along with one another's families (that we know of), both have a rigid view of the world, and they both have a love for preaching. . . and while Jessa may not be the most affectionate or maternal person, I do honestly believe she loves her buddies very much - she just doesn't like the fact that she was forced to raise her siblings - and she will make a decent mom one day (hopefully not anytime soon - these two have a LOT of maturing to do first).

[Mama Mia]

I think you made some really good points. When it comes to his beliefs and his choice to express them publicly the yes, I do believe he is extremely immature - just like most people his age. Tons of 19 year-olds spout their personal beliefs all over the internet. BenBob only looks like a douche because: a) his facts are plain wrong and b) he has a national audience listening now.

The fact that he stutters, seems rather nervous on camera, and writes using flowery language? Doesn't make him look like a douche in my opinion. It just drives home the point that he is a young kid who has been shoved head first into the world of reality TV. He may have wanted this, but it doesn't mean the adjustment is easy for him.

As for Jessa, I honestly believe that she and Ben are a good match for one another. They seem to get along with one another's families (that we know of), both have a rigid view of the world, and they both have a love for preaching. . . and while Jessa may not be the most affectionate or maternal person, I do honestly believe she loves her buddies very much - she just doesn't like the fact that she was forced to raise her siblings - and she will make a decent mom one day (hopefully not anytime soon - these two have a LOT of maturing to do first).

I agree with all of this. I think Ben comes across like many 19 year olds would - very, very sure he's right about everything. Very passionate in his beliefs. I don't blame him at all for not being articulate or confident on camera. I know I sure wouldn't be! Even if I was crazy enough to want media attention - it doesn't mean I'd be good at presenting myself in a natural way.

I think that's actually a lot of the issue with some of the older Duggar kids who people say seem depressed or resentful or whatever. From about the twins on up - they were pretty much formed before they had a regular series. They were on a few highly controlled specials ( where they acted like robots) , but didn't have cameras and outside people in their face all the time. I think it's not at all surprising that some of them come off awkward or quiet or stumbling. What's actually more surprising is that several of them (Josh, Jill, Josiah, Jessa, Jinger ( until she sunk into her current funk) turned out to be very out-going , well spoken and comfortable on the show.

The younger kids are all, for the most part, comfortable and talkative on camera because it's what they've done their whole lives. To them it's just normal.

I think that's also the primary motivation behind all these awkward one-on-one segments they are doing focused on the middle kids. They are trying to find which ones do well on camera and are bubbly and articulate enough to take over the roles of the adult siblings who are rapidly leaving home. The adults will still have their own storylines, but they need some middles to be the primary characters and talking heads at home.

I actually feel really sorry for J.D., he doesn't seem like he's usually liked being on camera, but now he's on all the time. And I think TLC is purposefully prompting and hi-lighting the good ol boy, red neck, goofy persona they want him to have. I'm sure it's a big part of his personality, but I think they are really playing it up, because they need more active characters from the kids.

[FJismyheadship]

http://duggars.tumblr.com/post/10076978 ... post-notes

Ben's tuxedo

[bluebird]

That tux...ahahaha!! yep, 19 year old boy immaturity. His mom needs to say NO! If he is serious about wearing that to his own wedding,lol. Then again it is his wedding and if that makes him happy so be it.

[AndyActually]

That tux...ahahaha!! yep, 19 year old boy immaturity. His mom needs to say NO! If he is serious about wearing that to his own wedding,lol. Then again it is his wedding and if that makes him happy so be it.

Um, pretty sure he was joking.

[nst]

he said he was joking